Fifty Shades of a Drunken Mistake
by KMSxoxo
Summary: Remember when Ana drunk dialed Christian? What if the night took a turn and they woke up married? Not eligible for an annulment, they agree to spend the 6 month waiting period before filing for divorce together, portraying newlyweds in public, they are strangers in private. Will love find a way, or will they walk away? (HEA)
1. Chapter 1

**APOV**

"Are you sure?'' he asks, hovering over me, only centimeters from my entrance, but I'm not backing out now. This is it, it's happening now.

''Yes'' I breath out, ''Christian, please.''

''You're so beautiful, Ana'' he whispers. ''I'm sorry,'' he says as he slams into me. I cry out as the feeling of him ripping through my virginity hits me. When he's all the way in, he stills and looks down at me, his eyes dark and filled with lust. He opens his mouth and his breathing is harsh ''you're so tight'' he grunts. ''Are you okay?'' I nod, my eyes wide, He continue looking down at me without moving, letting me get used to him inside me. ''I'm going to move now, baby,'' he says and oh so slowly he eases back until he's almost completely out, before slamming back into me again. I cry out a second time, and he stills once again.

He looks at me asking with his eyes, if he can move. ''Yes,'' I gasp out. He's breathing harshly, and groans. He eases back in, with the same slowness, and I groan while my body gets used to him.

''Again?'' he breaths and I nod with a little smile tugging at the sides of my mouth. He lean down and give me a sweet kiss, before he eases back out. This time he doesn't still when he get in all the way again, he moves slowly at first, looking into my eyes. He continues to ease himself in and out of me, and when I get used to him, my hips start to follow his rhythm. He speeds up, and I moan as he slams into me. I am meeting his relentless thrusts. He leans down again and this time kisses me hard, pulling and nibbling on my lower lip.

My body starts to quiver. I didn't know it would feel this good, I never thought it would feel like this, I stiffen. ''Come for me, Ana'' he whisper breathlessly into my ear, and I explode around him as I climax_. ''Ana!''_ He calls out as he comes, thrusting harder then stilling inside me as he empties himself.

I'm panting and trying to slow down my breathing. I can't hear anything other than my thumping heart. _Wow_, that was beyond anything I ever imagined it would be like. I open my eyes and his eyes are closed as he gets his breathing under control. He open his eyes, and look down at me, leaning down to gently give me a kiss, as he eases himself out of me.

I wake up and my head hurts like hell, and it also hurt… _there,_ with my eyes barely open I take a look around, trying to figure out where I am. I don't see anything familiar with this place, _shit! _What happened last night? I remember drunk dialing Christian, and then I think I walked outside. But what happened outside?

I take a look at the nightstand and there's a glass of orange juice and Advil beside it. I take it and lay back down, burrowing my head down into the pillow, as I try to remember.

_Yes!_ I walked out and then I talked to Jose, what happened so? Shit! He tried to kiss me, and that's when Mr. Grey pushed him off me. Christian came! What happened next? I remember Jose walking back inside after I almost threw up all over him. But then Christian helped me to the side of the parking lot, and I continued to puke more. How _embarrassing!_

Then he offered to drive me home, but I said no. And I'm not home now, so where am I, did he drive me here?

* * *

''_Anastasia, _wait_!'' I hear Christian shout after me, and I giggle as I walk as fast as I can back to the bar. The room is lit up in many different colors, and it's quite dizzying. I feel someone grab my upper arm, and I turn around to look into gray fierce eyes. ''Anastasia, you need to go home. Let me drive you.''_

''_Come on, Christian'' I whine ''have some fun, take a drink with me.'' He narrows his eyes at me, looking up and down at what I'm wearing and I start to feel self conscious. He shakes his head and tries to drag me out of the bar. ''Christian,'' I whine again ''one drink, please? I had coffee with you, please have a drink with me.'' I blink up at him sweetly, and he rolls his eyes. _

''_One drink, Ms. Steele and then we're leaving.'' He says as he guides me over to bar, his hand on my lower back. I feel goose bump all the way up to my neck, at his touch. He orders one drink for himself and then one to me without asking what I want. _

_I look around the pub, expecting to see if his big security guy is somewhere, but I don't see him. Christian hands me my drink and guides me to an empty table. I look around looking for Kate and to see what happened with Jose. I can't see Jose anywhere, and Kate is dancing with a cute blond guy. I turn around to look at Christian, and just as I've turned my head, his lips are on mine. _

_He coaxes my mouth open with his tongue, and I let out a moan, his tongue exploring my mouth and my tongue quickly begins stroking his back. My hands go immediately to his soft hair, and he's grasping my chin with one hand, and the other hand at the nape of my neck. We pull back breathlessly when someone stomps in my chair. Christian is looking at me with hooded dark eyes. _

''_I think we need one more drink,'' he says._

* * *

So one drink weren't just one drink? The cute blond guy that Kate danced with turned out to be Christian's big brother Elliot. We all sat around and drank for a while. Then my memories are clouded again. What happened? Jose went home with a redhead, without a word or anything he left looking pissed.

Kate went home with Elliot, to our place I think; did I go home with Christian? I sit up in bed and look under the covers, I'm completely naked._ I had sex with Mr. Grey? _And I can't remember? I wasn't saving myself for marriage, but I always thought I was at least going to remember my first time. And to have it with someone I trusted and loved. _But Mr. Grey wow! Well done, Steele,_ I can hear Kate say already.

* * *

_Christian and I sit by the table and we're on our 5__th__ drink now. We've talked and kissed, and he could he would push me back and be on me in seconds. I know he wants to, he told me so after our third drink. And I want that too, badly. God, at this moment I want nothing more._

''_We just got married!'' someone shouts as they walk in the door. They look happily at each other, and kiss. ''Isn't my wife stunning?'' He asks as he twirls her around, making her laugh and shriek. _

''_Awww, how romantic,'' I gush over the sight of the two of them. They're so cute, and they look so in love with each other. I want that, I want to have someone to come to; someone who loves me like a husband loves his wife. Someone who would show me every day how much he appreciates me, ''I want a husband.'' I whisper. _

''_Let's get married'' Christian whispers in my ear._

* * *

No! Surely that didn't happen. CEO Christian Grey would never do anything like that, would he? We were obviously drunk, no one would marry us. No we're not married, we can't be.

I hear muffled voice in the hall, getting louder and louder. The door is thrown open, and Christian is standing there, with fury in his eyes. ''Just get the fucking lawyer here, now!'' he growls in the phone before looking at me.

_Oh shit, we got married last night. _


	2. Chapter 2

**ANA**

I feel vulnerable, uncomfortable, and small under his angry stare. I really can't describe the way he's looking at me, like I just murdered his first born child or something. I clutch the covers tight over my breast, not wanting him to see me naked. He sighs, and then walks over to get something from his suitcase. He has a document in his hand, and he sits down beside me on the bed.

''I need you to sign this'' he says, giving me the document and a pen, ''it's a non disclosure agreement, whatever is going on between us now, you can't discuss with the media or anyone. Everything will stay between us,'' he says and he doesn't go away before I sign the contract. He takes it in his hands and walks over to the door. ''There's breakfast out here, you should eat something. There's a lawyer on his way, get dressed.'' Then he walks out.

I get up and see at the foot of the bed, there are new clothes. New underwear, panties and a matching bra, did Christian buy me this? I hope not. There's a pair of jeans and a hoody. The comfortable look I love. I walk in the shower to take a quick shower, I feel sticky all over.

* * *

I get dressed and walk out to the main room where there's food everywhere. It looks like he ordered everything on the menu. Well he can afford it, so he probably did. I sit down, and bite in a croissant, letting out a moan at the delicious taste. I close my eyes enjoying it. When I open my eyes again, Christian is sitting in front of me. He has a small smirk on his face while he still looks pissed off. He's about to say something when there's a knock on the door.

''That'll be the lawyer,'' he says and I straighten up in the chair I'm sitting in, while Christian answers the door. He's gone a second, and then he walks back with a young man in a suit, probably in his thirties. ''Ana this is Mr. Brown, he will help us with this mess… and this is Anastasia…'' he says gesturing to me, ''my wife'' he frowns, before sitting down beside me.

''Nice to meet you Mrs. Grey,'' he says as he sits in front of us, getting some folders out of his job case. ''So, if I understood correctly you want an annulment?'' He asks, and we both nod. He takes out a notepad and pen from his brief case, before setting it down. ''Okay, let's see what we can do… You need a legal reason to have your marriage declared invalid.'' He says, and we both nod again. ''Either one of you underage?''

''No,'' we both answer at the same time.

''Do either one of you have another living husband or wife?'' he asks, and we both answer no again. ''Are you close family?'' And we answer no again. ''Were one of you coerced into getting married?'' And we shake our head. I have no idea if this is going good or bad. But by the look on Christian's face, it's bad. ''What about fraud? Did one of you defrauded the other about something essential to the marriage?'' He asks looking directly at Christian.

''NO,'' he answered harshly.

''Physical abuse? Threats?'' And he gets another shake of our heads. ''Is either one of you struggling with insanity? That would mean that one of you were mentally unable to consent to a marriage.''

''I will not stand in front of a judge and say I am mentally unstable. I have a business to run, people who are counting on me.'' Christian says and looks down at me.

''I'm soon graduating college, I'm on job hunting, so I will not do that either.'' I say, crossing my arms and look up at Christian with a raised eyebrow.

''What can we do?'' He asks, and turns his attention back to the lawyer.

''Your marriage is not invalid, or forced. You both agreed to get married, so I suggest file for a divorce. But you just got married, so you have to wait 6 months before you can file for one. I'm sorry Mr. Grey there's nothing I can do here…'' he looks sympathetically at me, with an apologetic smile, ''Can I suggest marriage counseling? I could recommend someone, or are you really sure divorce is the right decision for you?''

''Yes,'' Christian grits out, ''there's nothing I could do? Money's not a problem I'll give you anything.'' He says sitting forward in his chair resting his arms on his thighs.

''It's the law Mr. Grey, money can't change that. I'm sorry.'' Mr. Brown stayed a little bit, handing over some documents for us to read, and then Christian literally pushed him out the door, pissed as hell. Christian hasn't stopped pacing the floor since the lawyer went, mumbling things I can't understand under his breath, switching from English to French a few times, his hand never leaving his hair.

''You should tell your dad,'' he says as he sits down on the floor.

''Why would I do that?'' I ask, shocked. Why would I call my father and tell him I just decided out of the blue to get married? It would kill him, he would be so disappointed in me, I'm better than that.

''Well I'm handing out your diploma at your graduation, and we don't want him to have a heart attack when I call you Anastasia Grey and not Anastasia Steele.'' Shit, I didn't think of that.

''Not everyone changes their names when they get married,'' I say ''I'm not changing it.'' He takes out a folded document from his back pocket, looking through them before handing one of the pages to me.

''It's in process right this moment, you signed under that,'' he says pointing at the paper, ''you obviously agreed yesterday to change your name… So this is how I see this working out,'' he says and sit down on the sofa beside me entwining his hands together. ''We're married, there's nothing we can do about that before it has gone 6 months. You're moving to Seattle right?'' He asks, and I nod my head. ''So you'll move in with me, you'll get your own room, and you can do whatever you want with it, and we wait out those months, before filing for the divorce and going our separate ways.'' He says.

''What? Move in with you?'' I'm moving in with Kate, we're moving to Seattle together that was the plan; we have an apartment arranged and all.

''Yes, we won't tell anyone about the divorce, except my staff. But in everyone else's eyes we are married for real.'' He says looking me straight in the eyes, his expression unreadable. He has the best poker face I've ever seen. ''Think of it like acting, you'll join me at a few advents, dinner meetings, and when we're ''home'' we don't even have to talk to each other.'' His idea is not tempting at all. He sighs as he understands I'm not aboard on his plan. ''Please, you'll get a place to live, I have a housekeeper who will give you whatever you want, food and she cleans up. You'll be living in Seattle it's inventible that we won't see each other.''

''Fine.'' I roll my eyes at him, ''I'll tell Kate, I'll call my parents, I'll do whatever, but just know mister, you're not the boss of me.'' I point at him, he steps back as I was about to point at his chest. I walk back to the bedroom slamming the door. I sit down at the bed with my head in my hands, and let my tears flow out. What have I gotten myself into?


	3. Chapter 3

**ANA**

''You did what?'' Kate shrieks at me, after I've just told her what happened last night. We're sitting on the kitchen counter with a cup of tea, and she looks shocked. ''You are married? For real?'' she asks, and all I can do is nod, no matter how fake this marriage will be, I am still married to billionaire CEO Christian Grey whether I like it or not. ''Well he looked really into you, I gotta say.'' She says with a small smile, and I just shrug. ''Are you filing for an annulment? This is clearly not what you want.''

''We're not qualified for an annulment.'' I get up and put my empty tea cup in the sink, standing over the sink, sighing. ''It doesn't even matter,'' I say drying my hands on my pants, ''I promised Christian to try, and who knows, maybe it'll work out,'' I say with a fake smile on my face. Who am I kidding, we're not going to try this out, we're going to _wait this_ out, and it'll be the worst 6 months of my life.

''Yeah, maybe'' she says with a reassuring yet sad smile. ''Ana you're my best friend, all I want is for you to be happy.'' I walk over to her and give her a tight hug.

''I know, that's why I love you so much'' I sit back down and smirk at her. ''Now tell me, what's going on with you and my new brother in law?'' She immediately has a big face splitting grin on her face, and she blushes. I don't think I have ever seen Kate blush before.

''You know…'' she says looking away still smiling, ''I really like him.'' She says after a little while, ''he's different.'' Kate has always been one of those fuck em leave em kind of people, she gets tired of people really soon, and I've seen many boys heartbroken over her. ''He's really sweet, he didn't try to fuck me,'' my mouth drops when she says that, and I'm actually shocked. ''No, we had sex, only I had to be the one… you know,'' I roll my eyes; there's the Kate I know.

''Well don't get married right away,'' I joke, and it actually feels good joking about it, even though I'm freaking out on the inside. This is not what I imagined myself doing after college. All that 'make mistakes', and 'learn from it' shit that you're supposed to do after college; well this wasn't the mistake I had in mind. I look up at Kate, and she still has that sad look on her face.

''What did Ray say?'' She asks, concerned. I close my eyes recalling the conversation I had with my dad. The awkward silence after I had forced everything out in one breath was just humiliating. I didn't tell him the truth though; I told him that this is what I wanted.

''That was mortifying, I felt bad doing it over the phone, but it sort of felt safer at the same time,'' I take the pen that lies next to me on the table, and start to click on it to hide my shaky hands. ''I couldn't see his face, so I'm not sure how he feels about this, but he sounded disappointed. I've never heard him talk to me like that ever.'' I wish there was something Christian and I could do, I want to get out of this mess so badly. I just don't want my daddy to be ashamed and disappointed in me.

''What about your mom?'' Kate knows that I don't have the best relationship with my mother, I love her and all that, but I can only take her in small doses. After what happened with her husband number 3 we haven't been all that close, we were super close before that though. Then all that shit happened and I went to live with Ray. It was ultimately for the best.

''I haven't told her yet, I'm not sure how she'll react. She married young, she had me young, maybe it won't bother her that much or maybe it will bother her more that I'm following her footsteps.'' I sigh, my mom is a nut job, you don't really know what's going on in that head of hers, but she is my mother and nothing changes that, no matter how much I try telling myself otherwise I still love her. ''But I'm not worrying about that, there's no reason for her to care anyway.'' I lay down the pen, and look up at Kate. ''I really want a girly film night...''

''Yes! Let's do that, we can have ice cream, and candy'' she cuts me of and starts ranting on and on.

''We could do that, but do I want to sit down on that couch?'' I ask, pointing to our couch, and she bites her lip, ''thought not. I'm going to bed,'' I say and start walking towards my room.

''Ana,'' Kate whines ''we can still watch a movie, just don't think about the couch, we went to my room pretty soon after our clothes...'' I smile at her and shake my head; I'm really tired anyway, all this stress is killing me. ''It's only 2pm, are you really going to bed?'' She asks, crossing her arms in disbelief.

''I need to rest Kate; I have a major head ache, sorry, rein check?'' She nods her head, and I walk to my room and close the door, and for a second time since all this happened I let my tears flow free. After a few minutes with lying in my bed, quietly crying, I fall asleep.

* * *

I'm awaken by a loud bang on my bedroom door, and my doorknob is shaking like crazy. ''Anastasia!'' is that Christian? The knocking and shaking continues, ''open up!'' he demands. Still in my clothes from before I get out of my bed and unlock the door then walk back to my bed and sit down yawning. He opens the door, and it hits the wall so hard that a few of my books fall down from its bookshelf. Including the _Tess_ books he bought for the bike incident on our coffee date.

''What are you doing here Christian?'' I asks, tiredly I really don't want to do this now, or ever. He looks at me concerned for a moment then he walks over to my bed and sits down on my bed.

''Kate called,'' he says and I look up at him my eyes widening, ''she said you were crying, are you okay?'' He genuinely look like he cares, but he always has that perfect poker face, so maybe he's just an good actor. Maybe he's just trying to look concerned. I hate that I can't read his expressions.

''I'm fine,'' I lie, getting out of the bed and walking over to pick my books up and put them back on the shelves. I really didn't want to be sitting on my bed with him, it was too distracting. I don't even bother trying to convince myself otherwise, he is attractive. He lies down across my bed, with his hands behind his head, sighing. ''How did Kate have your number?''

''She called Elliot; Elliot called me, laughing his ass off over the marriage. Well he's a man whore and probably have 50 children out there, so I should be the one laughing.'' A man whore? Elliot? No way, not sweet, friendly Elliot, I don't believe that for a second. I didn't get any weird vibes from him while we talked yesterday; I have often gotten weird vibes from the other guys Kate has brought home.

I just stand there, looking at his body stretch out before me, god what's happening with me? He sits back up and I look quickly away, afraid he caught me staring. ''Look Ms… Anastasia,'' he starts ''I'm not happy about this either okay?''

''It's your fault you know?'' I say sitting down on the chair beside my desk, a look of anger flashing over his face.

''My fault? How the fuck is this'' he says motioning his hands between us ''my fault?'' Wow, Mr. Grey is angry now, well guess what? I'm angry too.

''Yes, your fault. I didn't need you last night, you shouldn't have come, if you hadn't come this'' I say motioning my hands between us the exact way he did it, ''would've never happened.''

''If I hadn't come? You would probably be at the police station right this moment filing a rape case against that photographer. This is your fault Ana, just admit it. I was going to drive you home, safely where you should've been. You had to whine and cry and get me to have a drink with you, because you're so damn stubborn.''

''Please go,'' I say turning my chair, so he doesn't see that his words affected me. He had no right to talk to me like that, he doesn't even know me, and he doesn't know anything about me. We're strangers to each other, strangers who just so happen to also be married to each other.

''Ana I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that, I jus…''

''Christian, I need to be alone, please.'' I hear him standing and walking a few steps before stopping. For a little while he just stands there, and I feel his stare at me, he sighs a few times before saying something.

''I'm going to call later to check that everything is fine, I'm sorry.'' Then he left.

* * *

''You pick a movie!'' Kate shouts from her bedroom, and I walk over to our shelf of movies. I'm in a mood for some really girly drama, the kind of movie I usually hate. But not nowadays, since I've found myself in quite the drama myself. ''Not the notebook or Titanic, please something that's not depressing.'' She says walking out of her room in a cute pajama set that she recently bought.

''Ehm, I think depressing is all we have,'' I say when I look through the movies. I don't often watch movies, and I never buy a movie so these are all Kate's. ''What about action?'' I ask, and she makes a face of disgust, well if she doesn't like action why buy it? ''I'm not in a mood for romance. Comedy?'' She shakes her head, ''any suggestions?'' I ask, and she gets up to look with me. _Me_ picking a movie always ends up with _Kate_ picking the movie, but I'm not complaining. All I want is to spend time with my best friend, eating unhealthy food, and having a night without any worries.

''Let's see… Bachelorette, that's a fun movie.'' I nod, and walk into my room to change into my pajamas. When I'm almost fully dressed, someone rings the door. ''Coming,'' Kate sing songs, as I continue to dress and braid my hair. ''It's something for you, I think?'' She says, standing in my door.

''What is it?'' I ask and get up from my bed to walk out and see what's going on. There's a box on our kitchen counter and on top of the box there's a note addressed to me.

**Anastasia**

**I am terrible sorry for the way I behaved earlier,**

**It was ungentlemanly of me, my sincerest apologies for my behavior**

**Christian**

''It's from Christian,'' I whisper as Kate reads the letter over my shoulder. Is Christian always like this? So formal, as if he's from the wrong century? It's sort of hot. It's better than slang, that's for sure. I can't even imagine Christian using slang, ever.

''What's in there,'' she asks, pointing to the unopened box.

''I'm not sure,'' I say as I start to open it. I'm shocked when I see what it inside the box; it's a computer_. _I take it out of the box and inspect it.

''Holy mother of Jesus,'' Kate whispers ''did you see this?'' She asks holding a necklace up, with huge eyes she looks at it. ''It's real,'' she whispers and it's a huge diamond formed as a star. ''Jesus Steele… Grey… whatever, first the books now this!'' She shakes her head, mouthing 'wow'. ''What did he mean with the note?

''Nothing,'' I say quickly, ''we're just both stressing out over this marriage thing. We didn't plan for this, obviously.'' I say and I pick up the Mac and necklace and carry them to my room, Kate following behind me.

''I thought you were going to give it a try,'' she says with a frown.

''We are, but we hardly know each other, we don't even live near each other.'' I say and she nods, looking deep in a thought, and then frowning once again. ''What is it?''

''Are you moving in with him?'' I close my eyes not wanting to see her reaction to the answer I'm about to tell her. We've been talking for months about moving to Seattle together, and now we've been more excited than ever because we're soon graduating.

''Yes,'' I whisper. I hear her breathing change, it's shaking. I open my eyes and she's on the verge of crying. ''Kate I'm sorry, but I have to do this, I wish I didn't'' I say and she shakes her head and dry her tears.

''No,'' she says ''of course you have to do this. I had just imagined us living together in Seattle, all Sex in the City and all that. We can still see each other, right? I'll visit you, you'll visit me. Maybe sneak in a few girl nights?'' She asks, looking hopeful at me.

''I would like that, yes we'll do that, as often as we can. You and me for life,'' I say taking out my pinkie finger, and she takes out hers and we hook them together smiling at each other. ''Now, what about that movie?'' She laughs, and we walk together into the kitchen to find some popcorn before we sit down and watch the movie. I send Christian a quick text, thanking him for the gifts, and telling him that I forgive him.


	4. Chapter 4

**ANA**

For the first time this year, or maybe ever, I'm out jogging, for many reasons. First of all, I need to clear my head; I need the fresh air, because it was starting to feel like I couldn't breathe. Christian is taking me to Seattle for to see where he lives, and to see the guest room I'm moving into. I would imagine that a hot single billionaire would live in a man cave, with as much technology as possible. But then again, Christian doesn't strike me as someone like that; I think his home is going to be rather large, but classy. And I'm going to live there for 6 months, pretending being his wife, god I don't think I'll ever wrap my head around that.

This is all insane, and I keep waiting for the moment when I wake up and realize it was all just a dream. It's not that I don't like Christian, but I don't know him. I don't want to be married to him because I don't want to be married to anyone that I'm not in love with. And then there's the whole moving in together thing, do I want that? I am in a relationship without love; no I'm in a _marriage _without love. I've never been in a relationship; I don't know how to be in a relationship, especially not a marriage. I've never been in love, so the whole 'not being in love' thing will be difficult to pretend otherwise. But I don't think it'll be that easy pretending to be married, in a healthy, happy marriage. I'm not that good of an actress.

I stop a second to see where I am, and realize I'm not that far from Christian's hotel, is that a coincidence or did something make me run here? Although, I didn't mean to run here, I didn't really mean to run anywhere, I just started. Well since I'm already here I might as well go up and meet with him now. We're only going on a small trip so I don't need to pack anything. I don't plan on spending the night before I move in; I want to spend as little time as possible together. His constant cranky mood is making me moody too.

Christian did tell me that I would get my own room, to decorate the way I wanted it to be, so I've been thinking a lot about what I want it to look like. I think it needs to be a place where I can see myself spending time, where I can enjoy my own company, so in my head I'm picturing wall after wall with books, comfy chairs to sit and read in, maybe making one of the corners into a working station for when I get a job. Looking at it like that, this seems like something I can do for a period of 6 months. But what will people think when we get the divorce? If we go public, then we get a divorce I would surely be made out as a gold digger. Before the the divorce, people will question my every move, and then they will be there ready to take the pictures when I fail my ''marriage.'' And my parents would be more disappointed in me.

I still haven't told my mom, but I know that I will have to sooner or later. I'm going for later. Telling my dad is worse than my mother, but I don't want another parent to be disappointed in me as well. But no one is as disappointed in me as I am in myself. I've always laughed when I've heard stories about something like this happening to other people, laughing over how stupid you really could be; now I'm one of them.

''Ana?'' I turn around when I hear a voice I've heard before but can't quite place the voice. I'm met with friendly blue eyes, and I can't help smile.

''Elliot, hey'' I say, biting my lip. He surprises me when he picks me up in a hug and spins me around, and I squeal, making everyone turn around and look at us. ''Let me down,'' I say when he continues to spin me. He lets me down with a soft chuckle.

''It's good seeing you again, how you've been?'' he asks, stuffing his hands awkwardly in his pant pockets.

''Nothing's changed much, spent some time with my friends, getting married, you know.'' I joke, and he laughs. It feels great making someone laugh for a change, particularly laughing over something I said rather than something I've done. ''Is Christian here?''

''Oh, you don't want to go up there,'' he says looking up ''he's not exactly having a friendly conversation with Taylor, I feel bad for the guy.'' I look at him questioningly, what did Taylor do wrong? ''He's mad about the day we went to that bar.'' He says, and eyes me. Did Christian tell him what's going on? What our plan is for this? ''It's not Taylor's fault,'' he continues after a few seconds. ''Taylor offered to pick you up, to get you home, but Christian got pissed off and said that Taylor didn't have to come, but Taylor being the good security guy he is followed anyway, and Christian got mad and sent him back. Now he's mad that he wasn't there to prevent things from happen.''

''The marriage,'' I whisper and he shrugs. ''Did he tell you?'' I ask in hope that he knows what I'm talking about ''about the annulment?'' He finally nods.

''You're going to make a go at it, right?'' He asks frowning and I nod. ''Well welcome to the family, sis.'' He says and gives me another hug, but keeping my feet firmly on the ground this time.

Instantly, Strong arms drag me away from Elliot, and I look up into Christian's fury eyes. I stop and he tries to drag me harder, but I'm not budging and he stops. ''What do you think you're doing?'' he asks, and I have no idea what he means. ''Don't flirt with my brother, Anastasia'' he hisses close to my ear, so he doesn't make more of a scene that he already has.

''We weren't flirting,'' I hiss the same way back ''we were having a conversation a normal conversation, just talking. Jesus Christian, that hurt'' I say rubbing my hand. He takes a look at my arm, and sighs.

''I'm sorry Ana.''

''You seem to be saying that a lot.''

''Yeah,'' he agrees ''I just acted out over what I saw, sorry.'' Elliot comes jogging up to us, and seems furious with Christian and protective over me. ''We're leaving,'' Christian says harshly, but this time he takes my hand lacing our fingers together, to show Elliot that I'm not in danger… I think.

''Where?'' Elliot and I both ask at the same time.

''Seattle,'' he answers.

* * *

''We're going in that?'' I gasp as we excites from the elevator, and see a helicopter with 'GREY ENTERPRISES HOLDINGS' on the side of it in big block letters. I've never flown a helicopter before, is it safe?

''Yes, it's faster'' he says and we walks over to the helicopter. Christian stops and talks with someone who's standing by the motor. I don't hear anything they're saying, as I feel myself slightly freaking out. Christian walks over to me and lays his hand on my lower back. ''It's safe, Anastasia. Relax'' he helps me in before walking around on the other side. He leans over the middle to help strap me in, he sees that I'm nervous and tense and gives me a quick kiss on my cheek, telling me everything will be fine.

We're sitting with both headsets on, but neither one of us are talking. My nervousness slowly eased up as we went into the air. Looking out the helicopter was amazing, and I decide that want to do it again. I couldn't stop muttering wow, over and over again, and every time I looked over at Christian he was smirking. We land on a high building, and he gets out and then helps me out after he's walked around to my side. I can't help smiling, that was amazing. He actually returns my smile, smiling up at me.

''That was amazing,'' I shout over the noise of the motors calming down, and he nods at me and we walk over to a private elevator. We walk in, ''which floor?'' I ask as I turn around to push on the button to the floor he tells me, but there's none there. Christian leans over and inserts a code and the door closes.

''Penthouse,'' he says, giving me yet another smirk. We stand in an uncomfortable silence, and it feels like I'm panting, and I tell myself over and over again in my head not to look at him. Somehow I really want him to push me against the wall and kiss me. I swallow and close my eyes. Don't think of him… you don't want him… he hasn't done anything nice to deserve a kiss...

Other than taking me out for coffee, giving me the Tess books after our almost kiss, I wanted him to kiss me at least. He apologized by buying me a Mac and a diamond necklace. But still… he hasn't done anything to make me have feelings for him. Yes, he made love to me, that's it he made me feel special no matter if we were drunk or not, I felt special.

I hear the door open and I open my eyes relieved. I turn around to look at Christian and he is looking me the way I felt only seconds ago, with an intense stare. I give him a little smile, then I walk out and stand in the hallway not really sure what I should do.

He walks out of the elevator, not looking at me and starts walking. I follow a few feet behind him. He walks straight into the kitchen and fills a glass of something. I'm not sure what it is but by the look of his face it's quite strong. He holds up the glass and looking questioningly at me, and I shake my head.

''You want a tour? I can show you your room,'' he says and I nod, better get this over and done with. He walks past me and starts walking towards my room… I guess. He only looks behind him a few times to see if I'm following him.

I was right this apartment is huge, everything is huge, open and… cold. He doesn't have much color in here, and it's quite depressing. In my room, I will have colors I don't know if I can live 6 months without having a color to look at. It surprises me that everything is black and white, and when I think over it I've never seen Christian in a color either.

He stops at a door and motion for me to walk in, he's not very talkative. I walk in and I'm stunned. When he told me about the room, I had imagined a normal guest bedroom and maybe a bathroom. But this room is the size of Kate and my living room. There's only a bed in here though, so it needs furniture. I walk over to the closet and look inside. It's a walk in closet, and it's humongous. I've never had that many clothes, and there's no way I can fill this closet. I close the door and walk over to the bathroom, and then I'm truly stunned. It's like everything else in his apartment, big. There's a double sized sink, there's a bathtub, and it's not on the small size. Wow, I can live here and never leave my room.

''I love it,'' I whisper, looking around to see if Christian is still there. He's standing casually in the door way, and smile. I walk over to him, and we walk out of the room. ''Where's your room?'' I ask, and he looks taken aback by my question.

''Other end of the apartment,'' he says and starts walking back to the kitchen. ''the housekeeper is here to clean and cook Monday to Thursday, so if you want to cook on the weekends feel free to do that. Mrs. Jones will always buy groceries, so don't worry about that. She'll clean your clothes, the whole apartment, you don't need to do that.'' Doesn't he do anything himself? I guess it can't be easy doing what he does, but can anyone be that busy that they can't cook and clean? ''If you don't want to cook,'' he continues ''you can always order take away.''

''You're not going to be eating with me?''

''Maybe sometimes, it depends on my schedule, any questions?'' He asks, and I shake my head. ''You'll be having security, and when we're no longer married I'll have someone looking over you from a distant.''

''You've got be kidding me,'' I say and he looks harshly at me narrowing his eyes, and shake his head. ''Why after the divorce?''

''Safety reasons,'' he says and doesn't elaborate more on that.

Christian order some food, and we eat in silence only looking up at each other a few times. After that Christian poured us both a glass of white wine, and we sat down in the living room.

* * *

''Christian!'' I say in shock after we've been sitting there for an hour. ''We had sex,'' I gasp and he frowns and nods at me. ''I can't remember, we used protection right? I'm not on the pill or anything.'' He looks away for a second still frowning.

''Yes,'' he says coldly when he looks back at me. ''You don't remember anything?''

''I think I remember parts of it, I'm not sure.'' He doesn't look pleased with my answer, he looks pissed off. ''I always I thought I would remember my first time, but things happen.'' I smile jokingly at him. He turns around and looks at me, his eyes widening.

''Your… you're… you were a virgin?'' He asks, I look away embarrassed biting my lip, and nod. ''Jesus Ana,'' he gets up and starts pacing back and forth. ''I was drunk!'' he yells, I'm not sure if the anger is pointed at me or himself. ''Why didn't you tell me? I would've…'' he looks at me and I shrug. ''Come,'' he says holding his hand out for me.

''What?''

''I'm making up for it, let me treat you the way I should have.''

''Ehm… I'm not sure that's a good idea Christian,'' I say nervously, looking down biting my lip.

''You didn't deserve your first time like that, please let me make up for it. I want to treat you right.''

* * *

And he does, Christian is slow, gentle and amazing. He takes his time, taking of my clothes slowly, kissing the new naked area every time it appears. He's kissing me gently on my mouth, softly pushing his tongue against mine.

He takes of his jeans, and lays me down on his bed, kissing my neck and jaw, as he thrust his erection against my aching spot, the only thing in our way are our underwear. He continues pushing himself down and circling his hips, and my breathing gets heavier.

He gets up from the bed, and I prop myself up on my elbows panicked; I'm sure he's changed his mind. But He takes of his boxers and finds a condom, his eyes never leaving mine as he slides it on. He gets back on the bed, and starts kissing me all over again. His hand runs down from my breast and down to my panties, and he tugs it down. When it's down around my legs I use my feet to take it completely off.

Christian takes himself in his hand, looking intently at me, as he finds my entrance. And he slowly, pushes in, slowly and sweetly filling me. The pain I remember from the first time isn't there. His eyes never leaving mine, he moves slowly in and out, and as my breathing increases he moves faster and faster.

He's following my heart, he's moving after the beat of my heart. And when I reach my high, and cry out his name, it feels like my heart stop and so does he. He cries out my name, and he tries to get his breathing back under control.

We lie, like that for a little while. Trying to get our breathing back to normal, and wrap our heads around what just happened. It was amazing, and I would be lying if I said I didn't want to do that again.

Christian's phone vibrates slightly, indicating a message. He reads it, and roll out of bed muttering ''shit'' as he walks naked into his bathroom, with clothes in his hand. He walks out of bathroom a few seconds later, fully dressed. ''Get dressed,'' he says ''my mother is coming up.''


	5. Chapter 5

**ANA**

By the somewhat panicked look on Christian's face, I can tell he hasn't yet told his parents about me. Great, this will only make the first meeting so much worse.

I roll of the bed, with the covers over me, and Christian turns around and smirks at me, while looking me up and down. ''You have 5 minutes,'' he says then he leaves me alone in his bedroom. I take my clothes and get dressed in what I was already wearing, since I don't have anything else to wear. I stand in front of the mirror extremely nervous about going out there to meet his mother. I sigh, breath in and out, and then walk out into the living room.

Christian is standing there talking to a woman who has her back to me. Christian wears blue jeans and a white shirt, and he's barefoot. The woman has a neat high ponytail, and from my back view of her, I think she looks classy, she looks like what I pictured a mother to a billionaire to look like. I stand awkwardly in the entrance to the living room, unsure what to do. Christian's eyes meet mine, and he smiles. Is this the acting Christian or is this the real Christian? Argh it's frustrating.

The woman turns around, first with a smile on her face and when she sees me get closer, a frown appears on her face. She doesn't take the first step toward introduction, and we just stare at each other. ''Anastasia,'' Christian says ''this is my mother Dr. Grace Trevelyan Grey.'' He says gesturing towards the woman in front of me. ''Mother, this is Anastasia,'' he says walking over to me, holding me by my waist. ''My wife,'' his mothers eyes widen, and it does not seem to be in a good way.

We stare at each other for a little while, her with her cold hard stare, and me trying to smile the best I can. She narrows her eyes at me for a second, before turning her attention back to her son with a much warmer smile, but it doesn't reach her eyes and it looks rehearsed. ''Elliot told me you're back,'' she says.

''I bet he did,'' Christian murmurs under his breath. ''We're doing things ready for Anastasia's move.''

''Anastasia,'' she says formally ''can you give me a second with my son?'' she raises her eyebrows, like she's challenging me to say no.

''Of course, Mrs. Grey'' I say and I leave the room. I'm not out of earshot when they start arguing, well his mother is arguing. I look behind me and realize that I have no view to the two of them, so they can't see me either, so I stay and listen to their conversation.

''Christian! You're married, how is it this is the first I hear about this.''

''It was sort of a in the moment thing,'' he says calmly.

''Do you even know her intentions with this marriage! How long have you known this girl?''

''A couple weeks.''

''Christian, I didn't raise you to be this stupid. It's obvious she's after your money.''

''Mother, she's not a gold digger,_ I _suggested this marriage, and when we met she didn't even know who I was.''

''Is she here illegally? Are you trying to help her stay in the country? Just… Christian, I don't understand'' she's crying now ''what's going on with you, this isn't like you at all, I'm worried. Why marry her so soon?''

''Hush, mom, I'm sorry'' I guess he's hugging his mother now, soothing her hysteria ''I love her; we did it because of love I promise you. Give her chance, she's really great.'' That has to be the acting Christian, I'm sure of it. I walk to Christian's bedroom and sit down on his bed waiting for them to finish.

* * *

I have no idea how long I sit in Christian's room, but I'm not hearing shouting out there anymore. I walk back and forth in his room, stopping a few times to stare out the window; it's really an amazing view from up here, it's so high.

''She's gone,'' I'm startled by Christian's voice. I turn around, and he's standing in the doorway with an unreadable expression.

''She doesn't like me,'' I say staring down at the floor, a little bit disappointed by that fact.

''She doesn't know you,'' he says looking apologetic ''she's just protective over me, over all her children in fact.''

''I understand that Christian, I really do. But do I really look like a gold digger? Someone who would just marry for money? Do I look like whore?''

''No, Anastasia, you don't'' he says, and he turns around and leave the room.

''Is that all you have to say?'' I ask angrily while sprinting after him. He turns around suddenly, stopping me in my pursuit, when I am faced with his angry confused eyes.

''What do you want me to say? That you're beautiful, that there's no way you could be a whore? Because if you want to hear it, I'll tell it to you.'' It takes everything in me not to slap him, so I turn away just like he did a minute ago and start looking for the room that was meant for me, he said he would let me be alone there. ''Ana!'' he calls after me, but I continue walking.

I find the room and shut the door with as much force as I can. I lie down on the bed, and let my tears fall again. I'm not really sure what I wanted him to tell me, but he could've at least defended me somehow. Minutes before his mother came, we had just made love for a second time, didn't that mean anything to him? There's a knock on the door but I don't answer.

''Ana,'' he says softly and continues knocking. ''I'm sorry.''

''Stop saying you're sorry!''

''Sorry,'' he whisper against the door ''I won't come in unless you invite me, please open the door.'' I stand up and walk to the door, ready to open it for him. But I don't, I sigh as I slide down the door, a lightly bang my head against it. I hear Christian slide down too, ''Ana,'' he whisper ''don't let my mother ruin anything, we were having a nice time together before she came.'' The tears continue down my face, I think the ''nice time'' we were having before his mom showed up meant more to me than it did for him.

''I wanna go home,'' I say and I hear him sigh.

''I thought we could discuss what to do with your room. But if you really want to go I can have Taylor drive you back.'' Taylor? When did he get her, ''or maybe Reynolds,'' he says ''since Taylor's still in Portland, or if you wait until tomorrow I'll drive you back.'' I sit there weighing my options, I rather go home today. ''What do you want?'' he asks after a while when I haven't answered him. A divorce, I want to tell him but I don't. Christian is being awfully sweet to me now; will I see this side of him often, or is this just more of his acting?

I open the door still sitting in front of it, so it doesn't actually open that far. I get up and Christian is standing there with a half smile, I can see a small hint of a little dimple in his cheek. ''Can I come in?'' he asks, and I answer with a nod.

He walks in and hugs me; I'm surprised to begin with but quickly hug him back. ''I wanna go home now,'' I whisper and he nods. ''What happened earlier was a mistake,'' I say walking out of his embrace, ''it won't ever happen again.''

* * *

''Ana! How's Seattle?'' Kate asks as I walk in the door. Kate is sitting on the couch cuddling with Elliot, and they both look really happy. I want that, I want someone that wants to do that with me. When I said to Christian that what we did was a mistake he couldn't have agreed quicker, and he promised me that it would never happen again, that there was not a chance of it ever happening again. He sounded so mad when he said, and just minutes earlier he was so sweet. ''Ana?''

''Yeah, it was fine,'' I answer walking into my bedroom to change out of these clothes that Christian only hours ago stripped me out of. I better burn them. I'm ignoring the smirk on Elliot's face as I pass them. I change into sweatpants and a t-shirt. Frankly, I don't care how I look in front of Elliot, and then I walk back out to make myself a cup of tea.

The two of them aren't really watching the movie; they're mostly just watching each other while occasionally glancing at the TV. It's only been a few days, but I can clearly see that they both love each other. I want that, but for another 6 months I won't have the chance to find that.

''Everything okay?'' I turn around when I hear Kate behind me with another look of worry on her face. ''Did something happen?''

''No,'' I shake my head ''everything's great'' I lie with the sweetest smile I can make at the moment. She looks behind her at Elliot then back at me again. Elliot is texting someone on his phone, not paying attention to our conversation.

''I can ask him to go if you need me Ana,'' she says looking behind her once more, ''because I don't believe everything is fine, but with your husband's brother here you won't tell me anything.''

''Nothing to tell, and don't ask him to leave, he's good for you.'' I smile at her and she grins back nodding her head in agreement. She gives me hug then turn around to walk back to Elliot; she turns around with a serious look on her face.

''We're talking about it later,'' she says and points her finger at me.


	6. Chapter 6

**CHRISTIAN**

''So Christian, Taylor said this was an emergency meeting,'' Flynn says folding his hands in his lap. I'm pacing the floor of his office. ''You want to stand or…''

''I'll stand.''

''Okay, what's going on?''

''I'm married,'' I say and I don't think I've ever seen Flynn's eyes widen this much. After a couple years as my therapist, after everything I've ever told him, he's never reacted this way before. He unfolds his hands and finds a note pad and starts writing. I sigh and sit down in front of him on the couch.

''Tell me about her,'' he says not looking up.

''It's Anastasia,'' I say and he looks up and nods, it doesn't look like _that _shocked him, well it sure as hell shocked me. And ever since I woke up that day realizing what we had done, I've had this constant feeling in my stomach, like something isn't right. The ache has only disappeared once, only one time when this whole thing hasn't felt wrong. It was when I made love to her for a second time.

''Ms. Steele? Tell me what happened?''

''Grey now,'' I say and he nods returning his attention back to his notes ''I went to Portland,'' he looks up with raised eyebrows, he knows why I went ''she asked for a photo for the article, I showed up they took the photos…'' I start fidgeting with my hands ''I asked her out for coffee.''

''A date?''

''It wasn't meant as a date, not in my eyes… anyway we talked, and I could see it in her face, I could see that what I was doing was wrong, I could never be with her, but there's just something about her…'' I start pacing the floor again. ''She drunk dialed me later, clearly pissed at me after I rejected her kiss. So I tracked down her phone. I was just going to drive her home, but she wanted me to have a drink with her, and I did. I don't know why, it's not like me, but when I'm around her I'm not me. We had a few drinks, and then I don't remember much until I woke up beside her at my hotel.''

''It may sound Christian,'' he says still writing ''that you might have feelings for this girl, am I correct?''

''_No!_ You know me; I don't _have_ feelings for anyone.'' I say angrily.

''But you admit that you physically and mentally change around her, what is it that happens when you're with her.''

''She innocent, pure…'' I whisper not believe I'm saying this ''she's young, I want her to believe that there's nothing bad in this world.'' I laugh sarcastically ''I guess I'm not the right person for that, huh?''

''Does she make you want to be a better person?''

''How do you make someone want to be better? No, nothing can make me a better person. I am who I am. There's just something intriguing about her, and I want to know what it is.''

''Do you think that you may get feelings for her?''

''Other than sexual? No'' he looks up from the pad and narrows his eyes at me frowning.

''Have you two been intimate?'' I nod ''without any elements?'' I nod again, ''how was that?''

''Well the first time…'' he looks up, his eyebrows raised ''we were drunk, but it didn't bother me. even though she was drunk she understood when I told her I didn't want to be touched, and she didn't try to touch me.'' I sit back down, ''she… she later told me that… that it was… she was a virgin, I didn't know.''

''How did that make you feel?''

''Like an asshole. I knew she was inexperienced but I didn't think she was a virgin. If I knew I would've waited until we were both sober.''

''But you would still have intercourse with her?''

''Yes, I think so. When she told me she was a virgin, I wanted to make it up to her, she told me she didn't remember much so I saw that as a possibility to make her first time more special,'' I frown thinking over what I'm saying.

''You wanted to make her first time special,'' he states and I nod. ''Then what happened?''

''I took her to my bedroom,'' he looks even more surprised by that, since I never take anyone to my bedroom. ''I took my time, giving her compliments. I didn't exactly have a special first time,'' I say refereeing to time I lost my virginity to Elena. ''I at least wanted to know that _I_ made her first time special.''

''You probably did,'' he says still writing, with all he's written he could probably make a book out of it. And he would, if I died I'm sure that he could make a fortune of writing a book about how fucked up I am. ''Did you kiss her?'' He asks, knowing that I've only kissed one person my entire life because I never kissed the subs, not once.

''I have,'' I say looking out the window. What is Anastasia doing to me? She's messing with my head, and right this moment I wish we were back at Escala, before my mother showed up. ''She regrets it,'' I whisper not looking back at him.

''She regrets what?''

''That we slept together, she told me it was a mistake, and she had this ashamed look on her face,'' I shake my head clearing it ''she's right, it was wrong of us.'' He finishes what he's writing and look back up at me.

''I want to meet her.''

''No.''

''Okay, but when you're ready I want to meet her.'' He turns his notes to a blank page and gets ready to write more ''is it in your plans to make her a sub? I know you want to, I know that was the plan. But what is your plans with her now?''

''We can't get divorced until it's been half a year, so the plan's just letting her stay with me until then.''

''Then what? You're kicking her out, saying you don't want to see her again? What about your family,

what if she gets closed to them, I would think they would like to get to know your wife.''

''I haven't thought about that,'' I clench my teeth with anger. ''I will deal with it when the time comes,'' he sighs and shakes his head. ''You're not helping me here, the only thing you're doing is questioning me.''

''I'm trying make you question yourself, to make you see that there are other solutions to this situation.''

''Such as?''

''That's up to you, I'm not here to tell you have to live your life, you know that. Are you thinking of Anastasia?'' All the damn time, I want to say but I don't, ''are you thinking of her feelings in this, have you asked her what she wants to do with the situation?'' I shake my head, I haven't really asked her. I didn't even ask her to move in with me, I told her. ''Are you afraid to ask her?''

''No, I just don't see the point.'' He shakes his head once more, and I'm not appreciating his disapproval at the moment.

''You don't want her to talk to me. Is that because of all the things I know?'' I nod, that's partly the reason, and the other part is that it would mean that I need to tell her that I go to a therapist, which not something I talk about. ''But I think you should make her talk to someone Christian, this thing you're going through right now isn't healthy, she can't be dealing well with this either. I could recommend someone if you'd like.''

''You think she need it?''

''I do, you're clearly struggling with this, don't you think she is struggling with it?''

''I got a texted not that long ago from Elliot,'' I say and he nods for me to continue ''he sent it just seconds after Ana got home, he asked me what I did to her. He asked why it looked like she'd been crying for 2 hours straight. I called Reynolds, who was driving her home, and he confirmed that she had been sobbing the whole way back. So yes, maybe she's struggling too.''

''How did that text make you feel?''

''I know I'm the reason she was crying, and that doesn't make me feel good at all. But she wanted to leave, she said that having sex was a bad thing, she doesn't want it to happen again.''

''Do you want it to happen again?''

''It's sex. Yes.''

''You are attracted to her?'' I nod, and I see the slightest chance of a smirk on his face. ''Christian at the course of 6 months, do you think you might get feelings for her? A little bit, and do you think that maybe she might get feelings for you? After all you will be living together?''


	7. Chapter 7

**ANA**

I walk out of my room and stop in the doorway when I see Elliot sitting at our kitchen bar, wearing only his boxers. He obviously spent the night, but I'm not sure if I'm really comfortable with the way he feels like his home is here. I walk out of my room and into the kitchen without looking at him. Kate has never let anyone spend the night before, but Elliot is here, in our kitchen, in his boxers drinking coffee and reading the paper.

''Morning,'' he says. I don't know why I'm so embarrassed all of a sudden. Where's Kate?

''Good morning,'' I say back still with my head in the fridge. ''Where's Kate?'' I close the door to the fridge and heat up some water. He's looking at me over the paper with a smirk on his face.

''Still asleep,'' he turns the page with his his eyes still on me. ''So… how did the meeting with my mother go?'' He raises an eyebrow looking questioningly at me.

''Ehm…'' I say sitting down on the other end of the kitchen bar, ''she doesn't like me much.'' He frowns looking a bit confused, like he wasn't expecting that to be my answer. ''I didn't get to talk to her much, though'' I say as he nods putting the paper down. ''I probably just need some time with her, get to know her more.''

''She's an amazing mother; you'll love her when you see who she really is. I guess having her _baby boy_ getting married was a shock to her,'' he says dryly, almost like he's jealous of the bond between Christian and their mother.

''You're not close?'' I ask and he frowns again in confusion, ''you and Christian I mean.'' He looks away for a second, before looking back at me.

''It's complicated. I love him, he's my little brother but… it's just complicated.'' When I don't answer he continues talking, looking down at his coffee cup. ''It was hard to adjust after my parents adopted Christian; he got most of the attention from them. And now I understand why, I do but I was only a kid back then… He was 4 when they adopted him, he'd been through much at such a young age,'' I sit quietly listening to Elliot's story. ''He didn't talk… he couldn't. Sometimes he tried but nothing came out, so my mom was by his side all the time when she was home, always scared that something would happen to him and that he couldn't call for help.''

Elliot's not looking at me, so he can't see the shock displayed on my face. ''I was scared of Christian, I didn't understand him, didn't understand what was wrong with him so I tried to stay away. I guess after a while I felt a bit invisible.'' He stands and refills his cup and then he sits down again. ''He used to hit me; he was 4 and weak so it didn't hurt, but it was annoying. And I was 8, I couldn't hit him back no matter how much I wanted to.'' Kate walks out of her bedroom, yawning and Elliot stops talking and opens the paper again. Kate walks over to him and kisses him saying ''good morning, babe.'' She blushes and then kisses him again.

''What were you guys talking about?'' she asks, getting herself a cup of coffee then sitting down beside Elliot.

''Ana's meeting with my mother,'' he says not looking up at me, I guess he doesn't want Kate to know about his fragile relationship with his brother. She doesn't complain about the fact that Elliot is sitting in only his boxers in front of me, it's seems like this is going to be our normal routine with Elliot here.

''How did that go?'' She asks leaning forward in her chair.

''I look forward to spending more time with her, get to know her. It was only a brief time she was there so I didn't really get to talk to her.'' I say carefully while putting my tea cup in the sink. When I sit back down there's a loud knock on our door, so I quickly get up and answer it.

I open the door and look into grey eyes, and I can't help the smile that stretches across my face, no matter how much I don't want to smile.

''Christian,'' I say and he walks us in and then he leans down and kisses me, immediately ruining my good mood at seeing him. I know he only kissed me for show, so as to not make Kate and Elliot suspicious. ''Coffee?'' I ask walking back into the kitchen, I look around and he shakes his head.

''Jesus Elliot,'' he says when he walks into the kitchen. ''Put some fucking clothes on,'' I turn around and see the angry stare he's giving Elliot. I bite my lip to hide my smile. Elliot mutters something under his breath as he stands and walks to Kate's bedroom. I look at Christian and he motions his head towards my bedroom, and I follow him.

When I'm inside and close the door he turns around and traps me against the door. ''How are you feeling?'' he asks looking concerned, which confuses me more each time he acts concerned for me. I can't tell the difference between his emotions and his acting, is this concern real or not?

"I'm okay,'' I say crossing my hand over my torso, he steps back so that I can walk over to my bed and so I sit down. ''I was wondering,'' I pause and he nods for me to continue while he takes a seat in the chair in front of my desk. ''If we were both drunk when… uh… How did you know that we used protection?''

A little playful smirk appears on his mouth ''I saw a condom wrapper lying beside the bed… So unless we blew balloons with it, I'm pretty sure that we used it as how it is supposed to be used.'' He folds his hands in his lap and suddenly gets a serious look on his face. ''How… how are you feeling?''

''How I'm feeling?'' I ask and he nods ''okay I guess.''

''No but really Ana, how are you doing. Are you happy?'' He frowns while still maintaining the serious expression on his face.

''I'm not all that happy with the situation,'' I say carefully because I'm not really sure of the nature behind his question, ''but I guess it could've been worse. We'll make it work for 6 month, right?'' I ask and his expression doesn't change a bit.

''Do you… would it maybe be good for you to see someone?'' He asks, and I'm actually shocked. What does he mean by 'see someone'? Does that mean that He wants me to find a boyfriend or date someone while I'm married to him? He sees the confused look on my face 'Would you like to go to therapy to talk to someone you trust about all this?''

''I'm not insane,'' I say defensively.

''Of course you aren't, that's not the reason people goes to psychiatrists… But you're young Ana, you're about to start your life and begin to understand how this world truly works. And you have gotten into this situation that is rather strange, so maybe it would be good for you to see someone.''

''Do you?'' I ask, ''see someone I mean.''

''I do,'' he says but leaves it at that. ''I know a few good psychiatrist you could talk to, maybe woman if you prefer.'' I'm surprised but I find myself nodding, because maybe it would help, maybe I need to complain to someone about how confused I am about this whole thing. ''Good,'' he says ''I'll make an appointment for the first week you move in.'' He says tapping on his phone. ''I'm hungry,'' he says when he looks up from his phone. ''When's your dad, coming here?'' he asks apprehensively.

Shit, I totally forgot about that. I look down on my clock and sigh.

''An hour.''

* * *

**CHRISTIAN**

''Let's sit in the bar, until your dad gets here,'' I says leading Ana over to the bar. We sit down, and I order for both of us. ''Have you thought about what you want to do with you room?''

''Yes, sort of… I was thinking about going to IKEA to look for inspiration, so I'll at least know what I need." She says and my eyes widen, resulting in me tipping my wine glass and spilling it, without noticing.

''IKEA? Really?'' I say wiping up the wine I spilled. ''Ana…'' I sigh ''why would you want your furniture from IKEA?''

''They have nice stuff there and it is all fairly inexpensive.'' Inexpensive? They have crap that breaks after a few weeks, and uncomfortable couches and beds, and that's not something I want at Escala.

''Money's not a problem; you can have anything you want from anywhere. I would import shit from whatever country you want, and all you want to do is go to IKEA?'' All I want to do is buy her whatever she wants; money isn't a problem, I don't even think about the cost.

''I don't want furniture that I'll be nervous sitting on because of the price. I can barely walk on your floor for fear of ruining it, because it looks really expensive.'' I frown at her; I really don't understand her arguments on this at all. ''Okay then. I'll just stick to the bed that's already there. Forget about the other furniture, it's not really necessary,'' she says turning her legs on the other side of the barstool looking away from me.

''Ana,'' I sigh ''don't be…''

''Immature?'' she finishes. That was what I was going to say, without thinking, but now thinking over how she reacted when I called her stubborn maybe it's a good idea to just keep my mouth shut. ''I don't know who's right in this argument Christian or who is being more immature. But just because I don't want extremely expensive things in my room, then I'm immature? I don't want to spend your money! I don't even like the idea that you have so much money, it's really sickening.''

''Sickening? What are you talking about? What's wrong with having money? Isn't that what everyone wants?''

''It depends on what you're spending it on,'' she says gulping down her wine in one sip. ''Give me a budget.''

''What?'' What's she getting at?

''Give me a budget. I'll spend it all, but it's up to me how I use it. If I want to buy inexpensive furniture, and donate rest of the money to some organization, then that's what I'll do.'' I look at her, still confused. ''I'm tired of you thinking you own me. I married you, okay? We're married yes, but this is a time where woman are independent, we don't need to rely on our husbands to do everything for us.'' She looks really pissed, and I look down on my watch, anxious that her father will walk in on this fight. ''I'm not going to sit around in your apartment day in and day out waiting for you to ignore me when you get home. I will not stand in the kitchen and cook for you, when you'll like. I will not…''

I lean forward and kiss her. I kiss her long and hard. She looks hot when she's pissed, and I'm not going to try and deny that she's hot. In addition to her sexiness, I also saw a man walking in here that I think might be her father. But what surprises me the most, is that Ana's kissing me back. She's not pushing me away or yelling at me some more. She opens her mouth and invites me in, and I oblige with what she wants.

''Okay,'' I whisper against her mouth as I pull away. ''You can go to IKEA… do you want me to come?'' She nods her head, before we break apart. The man I thought might be her dad wasn't her dad. He sat down at another table where a woman and a child were waiting for him. Ana looks away, flushed.

''I… I need to go to the bathroom…'' she says looking around for the sign, she points at it, not looking at me ''I... I'll be… there'' she says jumping of the stool, and practically running towards the bedroom.

I lean back in my chair pick up my glass of wine and can't help the smirk that's creeping its way on my lips. My lips on her lips, god this is all messing with my head. But that was one hell of a kiss, the best I've ever had, granted I haven't had that many since I never kissed any of my subs, but kissing Ana is definitely something I would do again, it's worth the confusion I feel after.

''Mr. Grey?'' I turn around a see a man looking questioningly at me. He has gray hair, and would look really intimidating if I didn't deal with guys like him all the time.

''Christian Grey,'' I exchange my hand to him, and he grips it tightly as he shakes my hand, with a hard look in his eyes.

''Raymond Steele,'' he says looking around the room for Ana. ''Where's my daughter?'' He has a harsh tone to his voice. ''May I have a seat?'' He asks and I nod as he sits down where Ana sat. ''I just want to say this before I get to know you better.'' He says as he orders a beer. ''If you ever hurt her, even the tiniest bit, I'll come after you. I don't care how rich you are or how many security monkeys you have, no one, and I mean no one messes with my little girl… She's been through much…'' he says taking a swig out of his beer. ''She didn't have it easy growing up, and she doesn't deserve more pain, she's already been through enough.''

''I…'' I say a little stunned. ''I understand your concerns, I don't intend on hurting your daughter, sir.'' Ana didn't have it easy growing up, what does that mean? Was she bullied a lot? Did she have problems at home, maybe an ex boyfriend.

''Call me Ray,'' he says with a laugh and pat me on my back. I look behind him and see Ana running towards us full speed.

''Daddy!'' She squeals and gives him a loud smack of her lips on his cheek. ''When, did you get here?'' She asks, and the happiness shining through her is something I've never seen before. She looks so young and free, and beautiful. I want to see that look more often on her face, she's so beautiful. I can't help but smile with them. ''Oh dad,'' she says ''this is Christian,'' she says standing beside me and I wrap my arm around her waist of pure perfection.

''Yes, we've met,'' he says with a genuine smile ''looks like a good guy, Annie'' he says and Ana beams at her father. I can't help that light feeling in my chest at her smile right now directed at me, like she isn't ashamed of me. _God, what's happening to me?_

* * *

''So dad, what have you been up to lately?'' Ana asks, when the waitress leaves with our empty desert plates. ''Have you found someone?'' She asks smiling at him.

''You know, same ole same ole'' he says chuckling. ''Annie you'll always be my number one girl.''

''I better be,'' she says playfully ''but I don't want you to get lonely, I haven't been visiting much and I don't want you to sit in that house all alone.'' She looks sad for a moment, before her smile returns. But this time it isn't her real smile, it's the polite smile she always plasters on her face, I've noticed.

''I'm not alone all the time Ana, and if I find someone I'll find someone, but I'm not looking,'' he says smiling reassuringly at her, then at me. ''And I am happy, my daughter is graduating college, she's married, though you're way too young, but you found a great guy Annie,'' he says looking first at her then at me. ''And it's way too soon to be thinking about this, but maybe I'll get a grandchild in a few years and…''

That's where my hearing stops; I can't make out anything else he's saying. Grandchildren? Children! No way, I don't want them! I'm not planning on them at all, and Ana and I aren't really married. Legally we are, but neither one of us thinks we're husband and wife. He should not be hoping for a grandchild, at least not from me.

Jesus this is too much, ''excuse me…'' I say getting up from my chair. ''I have a meeting in half an hour, so I need to get going.'' I say, total lie but it was the best I could come up with. ''You'll both be fine, right? I can send Taylor back for you.'' I say looking down at Ana.

''No need, we can take a cab… or did you drive here, daddy?'' She asks sweetly, and he nods at her. ''We'll be fine'' she smiles up at me.

''Good,' I say leaning down kissing her lightly on her mouth, then I turn to Ray and shakes his hand. ''See you tomorrow, at the graduation.'' I say then I text Taylor and tell him that I'm ready to head back to the hotel.


	8. Chapter 8

**ANA**

I stare at Christian's back as he hurries out of the restaurant. I'm pretty sure it was my dad's comment about kids that scared him away. I understand his concern though, because kids aren't in our future, at least not together. When he's out the door I turn my attention back to my father, and he's smiling proudly of himself.

''Knew that would scare him away,'' he whispers with a chuckle. ''Are you happy, Annie?'' I give him a reassuring smile and nod my head. I haven't been happy for awhile now, but things went really well today with Christian and I can't stop hoping that this will work. Not the marriage obviously, but me being okay with it, that's what I ultimately want. ''That's good,'' he says frowning ''did he leave us with the check?''

''No,'' I laugh, because that definitely would've been funny. "He pre-paid for dinner, so we can buy everything on the menu now, without worrying about the cost.'' I say with a mischievous grin. ''Should we do that?'' I whisper playfully. My humor isn't the funniest, but Ray and I are pretty similar in the humor department.

''I won't say this again, Annie, because I know you know this, but you're awfully young to be married,'' I give him a weak apologetic smile and he continues and asks, ''but when it's love it's love, right?'' I nod my head in agreement, although not meeting his eyes. ''I married your mom quickly, so who am I to talk. But I fell in love, with both of you, I just knew I needed her as my wife and you as my daughter, you were just so precious.'' He smiles lovingly at me.

''I'm sorry mom treated you the way she did,'' I say referring to her cheating. I was really young at that time, but I remember how heartbroken he was, and how much my mom hated him when he wanted a divorce. The worst part though is that he forgave her the first time, she promised it was the only time and that she was drunk. So he forgave her. He truly loved her and I just wish she loved him back. When he caught her cheating the second time he couldn't take it anymore, and I think he knew it had been going on for a long time.

Out of resentment, mom moved us to Texas and I was barely allowed to have contact with Ray. But he had adopted me; I was his daughter so she had no right to keep us from each other. Then things got really bad in Texas and Ray told my mother that he didn't care what he had to do, but he was getting me out of that house.

''It's okay, I have you'' he smiles a genuine smile. I love how much love he has for me, he has never made me feel like I wasn't his own, never raised his voice if it wasn't necessary. I never knew my biologic father, but I couldn't have gotten a better dad than Ray. ''Should we, get going?'' He asks.

''Where are you staying? I wish we had a room for you,'' I say sadly. He could sleep on the couch but it's not a comfortable couch to sleep on. And with Elliot walking around in our apartment in his underwear all the time, and then with sounds that can be heard from Kate's room at night, I didn't really want to offer Ray the couch, not that he would accept it anyway.

''Christian offered me a room at the hotel he's staying at,'' I'm surprised by this, but also really pleased, that was a nice gesture from Christian. I think if we try we could definitely be friends by the end of this situation. ''I'll drop you off at your apartment'' he says standing up and putting on his jacket as we make our way out of the restaurant. ''You should get a good night's sleep before your big day tomorrow.''

* * *

''No partying tonight, Annie'' Ray says as I walk out of his car. I was a really quiet child when I was younger, I never got into trouble, and I always did what I was asked to do. But I guess that my dad doesn't know what I do when he's not around, which is almost nothing. Except that one time I got drunk, but I don't think I'll ever get drunk again since I ended up married the first time.

''I will try,'' I say. ''Good night daddy, see you tomorrow.'' I close the car door and walk up the stairs to our apartment. It's only 6pm, so I think I will relax rest of the day. I take my keys out of my pocket, and unlock the door. And immediately slam it again. ''Oh my god!'' I shriek. I can never un-see what I just saw. Kate and Elliot on the couch, Kate was bouncing on top of him, argh...Jesus I'll never sit on that couch ever again.

Kate opens the door in her robe, blushing. I walk past her and see Elliot's bare back as he walks into her bedroom. ''You two are unbelievable.'' I say walking into the kitchen, to get a glass of water. Kate sits down on the counter next to me, still blushing. Elliot walks out in only sweatpants. I don't stare at him long enough to see his body in detail, but I can tell it's nothing like Christian's. I shake that thought out of my head, as Elliot sits down beside Kate.

''Heard of knocking?'' he asks, with a proud smirk on his face.

''It's my apartment!'' I say looking at both of them. ''Heard of a bed?''

''Well we wanted a change,'' he says still with that disgusting smirk on his face. I think I'm going to be sick. ''You and Christian might want to stick to a bed, since you're both so new at this.'' He says, and I frown, wondering what we were new at? ''Christian's never had a girlfriend,'' he explains ''you were probably his first.'' Somehow I seriously doubt that, if he was new at it he wouldn't be so sure of himself, and it seemed like he knew what he was doing.

''Awww that's sweet,'' Kate says smiling sweetly at me. I look at the both of them, and they're still flushed.

''I'll leave you to alone to… finish whatever you were doing, I'll be… elsewhere'' I say picking up my keys in a hurry, and get out of that apartment as fast as I can. I walk out, and realize that I have nowhere to go.

I take out my phone and as I start walking, text Christian asking how his meeting is going. I feel my phone vibrating in my back pocket, and take it out and see that it's Christian calling. ''Hey, you okay?'' he asks.

''Yes, I was just wondering… if maybe I could, if you're not busy of course, if I could meet you at your hotel?'' I ask nervously. I don't know if I'm nervous that he might say no, or that he actually says yes.

''Yeah, sure… sure everything's okay?'' I hear some muffled voices on the other line. ''Just, stay where you are. Taylor will be there shortly. Did something happen?'' He asks again.

''Sort of… I kind of walked in on Kate and your brother in the… act'' I say blushing. I don't know why I'm embarrassed, but I hope I'll never see those two in a compromising situation ever again.

''What!'' he sounds angry; he mutters a few words under his breath that I can't make out.

''Yeah, I closed the door quickly. I saw things I never wanted to see,'' I notice a car slow down beside me, and I recognize it as the car Christian drove me home in after the photo shoot, and our subsequent coffee date. ''Taylor's here,'' I say as I get in the car.

''Good,'' he breaths out, and then he hangs up without saying goodbye or anything else.

''Hi,'' I say to Taylor and he nods back at me. I don't know how to act around Taylor, whether or not I'm supposed to talk to him or just pretend he's not there. When I get one of these protection people for myself, I want to be on a friendly note with him or her.

* * *

I walk into the lobby and see Christian standing there casually waiting. He's in blue jeans and a white t-shirt, and he looks just as good in it as he does in his suits. When he sees me he starts walking towards me.

''Hi,'' I whisper, biting my lip nervously. I still don't feel comfortable around him, but I hope we can change that soon.

''Hi,'' he whispers back, and takes my hand and leads me to the elevator. I look behind me and see that Taylor is nowhere in sight. We walk into the elevator and I yet again ask which floor, and I get the same smirk as I did last time, as he inserts his keycard and pushes the penthouse button, and yet again its almost unbearable being in an elevator with him. I feel like I'm holding my breath all the way up, so as to avoid the tension I feel with him in the elevator.

The elevator opens and we walk out. I remember where the kitchen, bedroom and leaving room is, but I get the feeling that there's part of this penthouse that I haven't seen. ''Do you need such a big place?'' I ask as I turn around and try to take it in all at once.

''I like it,'' he says walking past me and in the direction of the kitchen.

''It's a beautiful place,'' I say ''but does one person need this entire place? You could probably fit 100 dorms in here.'' He shrugs as he takes something out from one of the cabinets.

''No one was staying here,'' he says filling a glass of water, ''so why not? If no one was using it, then I can use it.'' He says while taking a sip of his drink. ''You're dad is on the tenth floor if you were wondering,'' he says walking over to the huge L-shaped couch. I had totally forgotten that he was even staying here.

''He liked you,'' I say as I sit down on across from where he's sitting.

''I'm glad to hear that,'' he says leaning forward towards me, even though we're rather far apart. ''We should Skype my parents now that you're here,'' he says standing up and coming back a few seconds later with a laptop in his hands. He sits back down in his original spot, and looks over at me and pats the space beside him on the couch.

''Christian I'd rather not…'' I say looking out the big window. Thinking about how bad it went last time I met one of his parents, I don't really want to ruin my day with seeing both of them. ''They won't like me,'' I whisper.

''They will, when they get to know you, they are just a little protective'' he says giving me a reassuring smile. ''Just a few minutes, Ana, my dad has been bugging me about meeting you, so now that you're here why not?'' I nod my head slightly, and walk over to where he's sitting and sit down beside him. He puts the computer down on the table in front of us, and he calls his dad on Skype. It doesn't take long until I see his mother and a man that I'm assuming is his father. It's almost like this was planned, since they both answered. ''Mom, dad'' he says.

''Hi, sweetie'' Grace says to Christian. ''Anastasia, good to see you again,'' she says with the same harsh, cold formal voice she used the last time she saw me.

''You too, Mrs. Grey'' I say with a smile, hoping I can at least win Christian's dad over. But he's looking at me, or maybe at Christian I'm really not sure, with narrowed eyes. ''You must be Carrick,'' I say remembering that I overheard Christian and Grace mention that name last time. ''It's nice to meet you.''

''Yes, likewise'' he says with the same harsh tone his wife has. I don't think I'm winning anyone over tonight. I sigh lightly, and look up at Christian, and he looks just as nervous as I feel. ''Christian, may we speak to you alone for a second?'' he asks.

''Whatever you need to say you can say in front of Ana, she's a really nice girl, just give her a chance,'' he says with an almost pleading tone. His parents look at each other, and gently shake their heads.

''You haven't drafted a prenup, and you're walking into this marriage with a lot of money, Christian. While she has nothing but her student loans to contribute to your union.'' I know that he's right, and it's utterly humiliating. ''And when this marriage goes under, which it will, she will end up with a lot of money that she should not have.'' He says angrily. ''This was obviously her intentions from the beginning Christian, use your head.''

''Excuse me,'' I say finally finding my voice so I could speak up for myself, since it doesn't look like Christian is going to. ''I don't care about his money. In fact, I didn't even know who he was when I first met him let alone what his occupation is.'' I say ''and he asked me! He asked me to marry him, and I said yes, not because of his money but because of _him!_'' I'm shocked about how true that statement actually is. It wasn't his money that made me say yes, no matter how drunk I was, it was Christian, it had to be.

''Are you gay, sweetie?'' Grace asks with a hint of concern in her voice. ''If she's your alibi for not being gay, that's okay. We won't judge you if you are.''

'' Excuse me!'' he says, raising his voice. ''I'm not gay!'' He says furiously.

''Sweetie, we support you…''

Christian lifts his hands to my face and turns it towards him, as he crushes his lips to mine. It starts off hard, but after a few seconds he slows down, and gently probes my mouth open with his tongue as it slides inside my mouth, connecting with my tongue. I look nervously at the screen, and both of his parents have their mouths hanging open. ''That is enough, Christian.'' they both say at the same time. But Christian doesn't stop, he continues stroking my tongue with his, and I let him. We sit like that for what feels like ages, wonderful ages. I look over at the screen again and see that his parents have disconnected.

Christian gently pushes me down on the couch, so that he's hovering over me as he continues to kiss me, never taking his lips off some place on my face or neck. He trails kisses from my mouth, to my jaw, and then to my neck. His hands trail from waist up to the outline of my breasts. He kisses his way back to my mouth as he gently squeezes my boob. I moan into his mouth and I can feel his smile against my lips. I close my eyes and enjoy what he's doing to me. I know this is wrong, a part of me knows that, but I just don't want to stop him.

He trails kisses down from my mouth again, but doesn't stop at my neck this time. He lips are off me for a second, and I lie there panting and waiting for him to continue. When I'm about to open my eyes again, he leans down and kisses my breast through my shirt. I gasp as he lightly bites down on my nipple. ''Christian'' I whisper, and he looks up at me and I look down at him through heavy lids.

He moves up again and kisses my mouth hard and franticly. And this time he pushes his hips towards mine, and I feel his erection digging in me at just the right spot. He thrust toward me in the same rhythm as he's kissing me, and he is panting with me. ''Don't stop,'' I whisper as he starts kissing my jaw line.

''Never,'' he pant back. He slows his hips down for a second, and he leans his head back from mine, looking down at me with a smile on his face. He starts moving his hips again, still looking down at me and I close my eyes again and lean my head back. ''Come, Ana'' he whispers. He moves his hips faster and faster, and pushes himself down harder and harder, until I scream out his name. He leans down and kisses my neck, as I pant and try to get my breath back.


	9. Chapter 9

**CHRISTIAN**

I wake up disoriented and warm and itchy. I run my hand over my face, to get rid of the itchy feeling and I notice that the cause of the itchiness is Ana's hair all over my face. She's lying beside me, still asleep looking very peaceful. She's lying with her arm under her head, and she has a little smile on her lips. What I would give to know what she's dreaming about right now.

I grab my phone from the nightstand and see that it is already 8 o'clock; we've both slept through my alarm. That's a first; I've never slept through one, most of the time I wake up before the alarm. I lay back down carefully, trying not to wake Ana up. I lie on my side and just look at her.

I don't know what made me do what I did yesterday. One second my parents accused Ana of being after my money, and then they accused her of being my gay alibi. The plan was just to give Ana a kiss that would show my parents that I was attracted to Ana, which I am. But when my lips touched hers, I couldn't stop and it all just happened from there.

I've never dry humped anyone before, I've never needed to, but it was not terrible. And to see the look on Ana's face, to see how much she enjoyed it; that was amazing. I'm glad she came when she did, I don't think I could've continued much longer without coming myself. She quickly fell asleep on the couch afterwards, and I carried her into my bed and changed her clothes, and then walking into the shower to take care of my needs.

The next time I look at my phone it's 8:30, so I figure that I should probably wake her up, so she doesn't freak out when she realizes she has a limited time to get ready. But Ana doesn't really strike me as the type of person who worries too much about that. I can't imagine her standing hours in front of a mirror trying on different eye shadow or various hair styles. She doesn't need to use hours in front of the mirror, she is just naturally beautiful, and it would be a shame to hide that under a ton of makeup.

I lean over her and try to gently shake her awake, but she doesn't budge. ''Ana'' I whisper directly in her ear, and her hands immediately go to my head and push me away from her. I stroke her cheek with my knuckle and feel her soft skin; she stirs but doesn't wake up. I straddle her lap, and she suddenly jerks awake. ''Good, you're up'' I say as I roll of her, and back to my side.

''Did I fall asleep?'' she asks, yawning and rubbing her eyes and I nod at her. ''Did you put these clothes on?'' She asks, as she realizes that she's in my t-shirt and a pair of my boxers. I nod and get out of the bed, to retrieve the bag of clothes I asked Taylor to get Ana, from the living room. I carry the clothes in for her and set them beside her on the bed. I then walk into the bathroom to start getting ready. Before I turn the shower on though, I turn around to ask if she likes what's in the bag when I catch her checking me out. The second she notices the smirk on my face she blushes.

She looks down in the bag, and groans. ''What?'' I ask, as I walk back into the room, she holds up her hand to cover my body from her sight, I'm only in my boxers and since she noticed she hasn't stopped blushing. ''You don't like it? I can get Taylor to buy you something else,'' I say walking towards my phone on the bed.

''No, that's not necessary.'' She says lifting each item out of the bag, ''I'm paying you back for this,'' she says as she gets up and walk past me into the bathroom. I walk after her into the bathroom and she shrieks ''Christian! Out!''

''What? I wasn't done here yet,'' I say walking over to the toilet and lifting the lit. She groans as she exits the bathroom. I wouldn't mind sharing the bathroom, it's big enough for both of us, but she only returns when I'm done.

''What do you want for breakfast?'' I ask her as she walks out of the bedroom. She shakes her head, and takes the seat in front of me, taking a sip of her tea.

''I need to hurry home,'' she says looking longingly at the food in front of her.

''Eat,'' I say and she picks up a croissant.

''You should've driven me back home yesterday,'' she says opening one of the papers on the table. ''I shouldn't have come,'' she mutters.

''I'm glad you did,'' I don't know what she's talking about, but no matter what part of yesterday she meant, I didn't mind it happening. Well besides Ana walking in on Katherine and Elliot, _that_ I did mind. I'll have to call him later about that. I look back up at her, and she's looking at me with a frown, which I return with a smirk.

''You're such a guy,'' she says rolling her eyes.

''Been called way worse,'' I say ''Do you need a ride home?'' she nods, and walks over to the entrance to get her shoes and jacket. We walk down to the underground garage and I help her into the car, then walk over to the other side and sit in the back with her. She frowns for a second, but then Taylor get's in the car. Almost the whole ride back to her apartment is in silence.

I take her hands in mine, ''Ana I am glad you called me yesterday, you should call me if there is anything you need...And I'm sorry if I embarrassed you in front of my parents,'' the car stops and I see that we're outside her apartment complex. ''I shouldn't have done that,'' I continue ''but don't be ashamed of what happened after that.'' I let go of her hands and she gives me a weak smile before heading out of the car, before I can get out and help her. I lean back in my seat and sigh, and meet Taylor's eyes in the rearview mirror. I roll my eyes, and he chuckles. Then we drive back to the hotel.

**ANA**

I walk up the stairs to my apartment, and I knock before I take my keys and open the door. Kate is standing right in front of the door with her arms crossed over her chest. ''Where the fuck have you been? I've worried sick about you,'' she says pointing her finger at me. ''You didn't even answer your calls.''

''My phone,'' I say taking it out of my pocket ''is dead'' I say looking at the black screen. ''Sorry.''

''Where, have you been?'' She half cries half screams, ''I thought you were dead or something.'' Right then Elliot emerges from Kate's room, in his boxers with his phone in his other hand.

''She was with Christian,'' he says looking down at his phone. ''He's pissed about her walking in on us,'' he looks up and gives me the same smirk he had yesterday. ''Told you she was fine… She just saw what we were doing and wanted to do the same.''

''God,'' I sigh ''we didn't do anything,'' well that's a lie, but compared to what he thinks we did, we really didn't do anything. ''I just didn't have a place to go, so I called him… since he's my husband and all,'' I say as an afterthought.

''Well you better hurry; we're out of here in 30'' Kate says walking angrily into her room. I look at her door stunned, what did I do to piss her off? And besides, I'm not riding with them. Kate has to be there earlier because she's giving a speech, so I have longer than 30 minutes, in fact I'm waiting for my dad.

''She'll get over it,'' Elliot says walking past me and into the kitchen ''it's not you she's mad at, sorry she took it out on you.''

''What happened?'' I ask, walking after him and filling a glass with water.

''Not really sure,'' he says with a shrug. ''Everything was fine one second and the next she was pissed.''

''She's probably just stressed, with the graduation and moving,'' I say looking at all the boxes around the apartment. ''So unless you called her something, or hit her I don't think you did anything wrong either.'' I say with a reassuring smile.

''Hopefully,'' he mutters. ''Sorry about yesterday, we should've thought that you could've come home.'' He looks down at his watch, ''you should probably get dressed too.'' I nod and walk into my bedroom.

I walk out of my bedroom 15 minutes later. I had already showered at Christian's hotel and I had put the dress that Kate lent me yesterday on my bed, so it was all ready to just be slipped on. I French braided my hair to get it out of my face.

Elliot is standing by the couch with jeans and a t-shirt, waiting for Kate and I ''you look nice,'' he says smiling at me.

''Thank you, so do you. Have you talked with Christian?'' I ask, walking over to the couch to stand beside him.

''Yeah… he yelled at me, but that's nothing new. And he told me to drive you carefully over to the graduation, because I can sometimes be a wreck-less driver'' he says with a chuckle. ''He cares about you, that's a good step, right?'' He asks, and I nod. Both Kate and Elliot know that Christian and I don't know each other, but are trying to make things work. And I think Elliot, more than Kate, really wants our marriage to work. I just hope that after the divorce Elliot and I can still be friends.

''Yes, and I care about him.'' I say, which is not a lie. I _do_ care about him, even though I'm mad and sad and confused about this situation most of the time, I've really grown to care for him and I hope we can be friends. He's my first, so of course I care about him, I don't think that'll ever change.

''Good,'' he says and then Kate walks into the living room, and Elliot goes to her and pulls her into his arms, and kisses her. He whispers something in her ear that makes her blush, then his lips are on hers again. I turn away, embarrassed to be staring at their private moment. And for a second I find myself wishing that Christian would greet me like that when he saw me, but I know that he wouldn't ever do that. ''Are you ready to go Ana?'' I turn around and see them looking at me, with loving smiles on both of their faces.

''No, Ray is picking me up since it's still too early for me to head over… but I'll see you both there.'' I say walking over to Kate, giving her a hug and telling her how amazing she looks. ''Love you,'' I say as they walk out the door.

I sit down at the couch and think about yesterday as I wait for dad.

Dad pulls his car into the parking lot at campus, and we follow the stream of students and their families and friends. When we get closer to the gym, Ray turns to me and gives me a tight hug. ''Good luck, Annie, I can't believe my baby girl is graduating college,'' he says with a smile and kisses my cheek as we part ways.

The gym is crowded; so it is difficult to make my way to my new seat with all the G's. But I find my seat and wait for it to begin. Although, all I can think about is that Christian is here and he'll be handing out my diploma. My heart is pounding at the thought of it. The auditorium fills quickly, and there are voices talking everywhere.

**CHRISTIAN**

At precisely 11 o'clock, the chancellor walks onto the stage, followed by 3 vice chancellors and then the professors. I hear applause from where I'm standing behind the stage, waiting to walk on the stage and start my speech. Then Katherine walks out and I follow after her. I try not to think about Ana sitting out there somewhere and instead concentrate on why I'm here.

The chancellor stands and starts his speech. I look over the crowd and in a second my eyes meet with Ana's. She squirms under my stare, and I love it. A pink color appears on her cheek, and she looks away shyly.

After Katherine is done with her speech it's my turn. I stand up with my eyes still on Ana. Throughout my speech I see Ana getting more and more surprised with what I am saying. As I talk about helping hunger in 3rd world countries, and that I'm talking out of experience, I see her shocked expression, because that hasn't been something we've talked about yet. I turn my gaze away from Ana, and look over at the other people in the crowd as I finish my speech. When I'm done with my speech and met with applause, my eyes find their way back to Ana's and I smile briefly at her.

One of the vice chancellors rises and begins the long process of reading up names of the graduates. One after another I hand the graduates their diplomas, shake their hands and congratulate them. They told me that there are over 400 diplomas to be given out today, but there's only one I want to hand out.

I hear the vice chancellor calling ''Anastasia Grey,'' and I can't help the smile that appears on my face. I see her making her way up the stage, and walk towards me.

''Congratulations, Mrs. Grey'' I smile at her and hand her, her diploma. She extends her hand for me to shake, but I ignore it and lean in to kiss her on her cheek. ''Wait for me afterwards,'' I whisper into her ear and she nods. I watch her as she walks back to her seat, and I see a few shocked glares pointed at Ana, particularly from the students sitting around Ana.

When the ceremony is done, the chancellor leads the faculty members off the stage. When we're all off the stage, I turn to Kate and ask her if she can find Ana to bring her to me because I want to see her. After awhile of waiting and neither one of them having returned, I walk into the crowd to look for her myself. I find her immediately, talking to her stepfather.

I start walking towards her, but stop in my track when I see a blonde guy running towards her lifting her up and spinning her around. She squeals and steadies herself by holding onto his upper arms. I start walking faster towards her to find out who this prick is who is touching what is mine. ''Dad, this is Ethan, Kate's brother'' she says introducing him to her father. The way he is looking at her tells me one thing; he wants to fuck her. Well, that position is already taken. I halt my progress immediately when that thought occurs to me.

I see Ana looking nervously over Mr. Kavanaugh's shoulder and when she sees me, she gives me a little smile. I walk behind her, and place one hand on her waist and then kiss her on her cheek. The blonde guy stops speaking and looks questioningly at me.

''Ethan,'' Kate says, when she realizes the looks passing between me and her brother. ''This is Christian, Ana's husband'' his eyes widen when she says husband. ''Christian, this is my _brother, _Ethan,'' she emphasizes 'brother', as if that makes him immune to Ana's beauty, or my anger.

''Nice to meet you Mr. Grey, that was a very nice speech,'' he says extending his hand to me, and I shake it with a rather tight grip. Ana turns her head to look at me, and stand on her tiptoes giving me a gentle kiss at the corner of my mouth. I'm surprised at the gesture, but enjoy it and hope that maybe this dickhead gets it into his head that she's taken.

''I need to go,'' I say as I turn Ana away from the others. ''A few things came up that I need to take care of, can we meet later? My hotel or your apartment?'' I ask.

''The apartment,'' she smiles. I give her a chaste kiss on her lips and she turns back around again. I fish my phone out of my pocket and text Taylor, saying I need one hell of an exercise right now.

I knock on Ana's door, and I hear laughter coming from inside her apartment. She opens the door with a huge smile on her face, ''Christian!'' she squeals hugging me. Is she drunk or just extremely excited to see me? I walk in after her, steadying her by holding onto her waist. We walk into the kitchen and I see Kate, Elliot, the photographer and Ethan, sitting at the kitchen table with many shot glass in the middle of the table. ''We're playing 'never have I ever' come play with us,'' she says sitting down on one of the chairs.

''I'd rather not,'' I say leaning on the kitchen counter.

''Then you have to go,'' Kate says and Ana sends her a dirty glare.

''I'm not leaving Ana like this,'' I say looking down at the giggling Ana who seems like she's falling asleep while standing.

''Just a few rounds, _please_'' she whines. Last time she whined at me like that we got married. I sigh and walk behind her chair lifting her up then sitting back down again with her on my lap. She giggles and hides her head in the crook of my neck. This is nothing like the Ana I've gotten to know over the past days. ''Thank you,'' she whisper into my ear, and I'm pretty sure she can feel my hard on now ''it means much to me'' she smiles. She turns around slightly and wiggles a little, and then she giggles and looks back at me with a knowing smile. ''Your turn Jose,'' she says towards the photographer.

''Never have I ever…'' he says thinking for a moment. The last time I saw him I had to push him off Ana and am just barely resisting the urge to punch him. ''Had a threesome,'' he says, and both Elliot and Ethan picks up a shot glass, which makes Kate groan and Ana giggle. She's apparently an extreme giggler when she's drunk.

''Never have I ever,'' Kate says ''fooled around in a sibling's room.'' And again both Elliot and Ethan takes a shot, clink it together before tilting their heads upward taking it all in. Kate groans again, ''this is childish,'' she mutters.

''Never have I ever,'' Elliot says looking around at us ''done 'the walk of shame' in the morning,'' and both Kate and Ana reach for a glass. I feel a pang in my chest; did she feel that after one of our times? Was she ashamed of the things we had done together?

''Never have I ever,'' I say smirking at Elliot ''walked in on my parents doing _it_'' he groans and leans forward to take another shot glass, so does Kate and Ethan.

''Never have I ever,'' Ana says sweetly and leaning her head back towards my chest. ''Kissed someone of the same sex'' she says with a giggle. And Kate and Elliot again take a shot. I look over at Elliot shocked and when his eyes meet mine he just shrugs. How is it that Elliot, who takes a shot every round, is not drunk while Ana is, even though she's probably only taken one?

''Never have I ever,'' Ethan says ''had sex with a virgin,'' I'm surprised when I'm the only one leaning forward taking a shot, and Ana blushes and giggles. I look over at Elliot with a raised eyebrow, and he groans and takes a shot. Elliot hasn't had sex with one virgin; but he did do it with 2 at the same time. I know because he had to call me right after they left because he needed a ride.

It's Jose's turn again, and he thinks for a while before smirking. ''Never have I ever measured my penis.'' I can't help contain my laughter when Ana leans forward to take a shot. Everyone is looking at her curiously.

''What?! If I had one I would've,'' she slurs and everyone burst out laughing. I shake my head and take this as a cue that Ana needs to sleep. I stand up with Ana in my hands and walk towards her bedroom. ''Good night!'' she shouts to everyone right in my ear.

I walk into her bedroom closing the door behind me and gently lay Ana down on her bed. ''You need to sleep this of,'' I say as I lift her arms up to take her out of the dress she's still in. My dick stands to attention when I realize that she doesn't have a bra on under the dress. Ana is too drunk to care.

''Do you think I'm beautiful?'' Ana asks, looking down at her body. I lift her chin so that her eyes meet mine.

''Yes,'' I say smiling at her. She grins up at me and leans forward to kiss me. She takes my hand in hers and leads it toward her breasts. ''Ana, you're drunk'' I say getting off the bed. ''I'm not doing anything while you're drunk.'' She pouts and looks down at her chest again. ''I should probably go,'' I say.

''No, don't. I'm sorry, no funny business. I promise,'' she says giggling. ''Please just stay here with me,'' she says sweetly smiling. I look around her room and see that she has nothing in it except a few boxes here and there.

I lift my t shirt of my head. ''Here,'' I say walking towards her ''wear this.'' She takes it out of my hands and slips it over her head. I pull off my jeans and lift the covers up on her bed and slip in beside her. ''Sleep,'' I whisper in her ear, and she snuggles closer to me and I wrap my arms over her. ''Sleep, sweet, sweet Anastasia'' I whisper and she murmurs something I can't hear before she falls asleep.


	10. Chapter 10

**ANA**

I'm shocked when I wake up. Christian is lying on his back, with me snuggled into his side, halfway on his chest. The area he specifically told me not to touch. I start to examine his chest from where I am laying without lifting my head; so as not to wake him. I see a few circular scars on his chest. With the hand on his chest I gently feel his scars. I wonder how they got there; did he have chicken pox as a kid?

I feel him stir under my head, and a struggled groan escapes his lips, so I lift my head before I get caught with it on his chest. I sit up and rub my eyes, while my eyes adjust to the light flowing in my window. I look down and see that I'm in Christian's t-shirt, and as I lift the covers slightly and see that he's only in his boxers.

I let out a groan as I feel my head pounding. What happened yesterday? When did he get over here? Did I invite him to bed or did he invite himself? God knows, and I won't get any answers until he's awake. I get out of bed, and the second my feet hit on the floor I am running to the bathroom and I immediately throw up.

I suddenly feel strong arms around me, stroking my back and holding my hair up. I can tell that it's Christian from the way he's touching me, and the familiar sparks I feel in his presence. I continue to hurl, and I feel my face go red in embarrassment. I let out a strangled cry, which is so low that I almost don't hear it, but Christian does.

''Shhh,'' he soothes while he continues to stroke my back up and down with his hand ''its okay,'' he whispers. When I've emptied my stomach, I dry my mouth with my hands and stands up. Christian stands up with me and steadies me in case I'm off balance. I walk over to the sink, and take my tooth brush out and begin to brush my teeth. I meet Christian's stare in the mirror, and he looks apologetic at me, almost like he's done something wrong.

''What?'' I ask when he doesn't stop looking at me sadly. But all he does is shake his head and leave the bathroom. I finish brushing my teeth and washing my hands, before I go out to figure out what happened yesterday.

* * *

**CHRISTIAN**

'The walk of shame' comment taunts me as I looked after Anastasia this morning. Did she mean that, or did she just want another shot? If she meant it, I'm sure it was with me, it has to be me, because she's never been with anyone else.

I just don't understand. Our first time, we were drunk and we didn't really have the nicest day after that, but does that count as a 'walk of shame'? Our second time was a mutual decision; I thought she wanted that as much as I did, so if that's the 'walk of shame' she was referring about then I will be fucking pissed. Of course it ended with my mother walking into my apartment pretty quickly after we had sex, but my mom didn't know that's what we were doing. Then there's the dry humping, we never talked about that, but why would she be ashamed of it? _She's probably just ashamed of you; _my subconscious tries to tell me.

I walk back into Ana's bedroom and find my jeans lying on the floor, so I grab them and put them on. I look around for my t-shirt just as Ana walks in and I remember that I put it on her last night. She finds a little bag under her bed, and places it on her bed, not saying a word to me. She takes out a bra, sweater and jeans, and then she walks out of the bedroom again.

Is she pissed at me? What reason does she have to be pissed? None. I haven't done anything wrong; I put her to bed last night when things got out of hand at the shot table, and if I may say so myself, I haven't been anything but nice towards her. Well nicer than I normally am towards people. If my business partners saw the way I treated Ana, they would probably get a heart attack. Even Ros hasn't seen that side of me, and we spend most of our days together, working side by side on projects.

It's no secret amongst businessmen that I am ruthless, and I don't try to sugar coat anything, I don't see the point in that. When I was a child I was always angry or confused, and only my mom and Mia ever made me smile. Now Anastasia has too, which is shocking, but I've made her smile also, and I fucking love it. I love the way her whole face lights up as her smile consumes her entire face.

Seeing her yesterday, free and careless, was… I don't know. I was pissed as hell over the fact that she had gotten drunk, and that the others didn't do anything. She was already prettily drunk when I got here, and Kate should've put her to bed long before I arrived. But seeing how happy she was, and how much she wanted me to join the fun, and that she whispered in my ear and told me how much it meant to her, it was...freeing.

I feel like I need a heavy session with Flynn, this whole situation is confusing me so much. I lust after her, that's the truth. I've loved the times I've had her beneath me and if she walked into her bedroom again right this second asking for me to fuck her, I wouldn't even think twice about it. But I care about Ana, and besides my family I've never cared about anyone before. The thought of her driving with Kate to Seattle bothers me; she should be driving back with me, where I know she is safe.

No. I need Flynn to explain these emotions to me. To help me see what's going on with me.

* * *

**ANA**

I walk back into the bedroom after I've gotten dressed, and throw Christian's t-shirt at him. He grabs it and slips it over his head. ''I need to get back to Seattle…'' he says, and I nod. ''I'm needed back, I've been here far too long.'' He explains, and he motions me to follow him into the living room. ''I'll have everything set up and ready for you. I'll see you tomorrow, right?'' I nod, and then frown. Have everything set up, what's there to set up? I'm about to ask him, when he stops me. ''Don't worry, we'll take our IKEA trip, I promised didn't I?''

I nod and walk into the kitchen to grab a glass of orange juice, my head is killing me. ''Kate and I'll be driving up tomorrow at noon. I'll probably go to her apartment, and help her carry everything and set everything up. I'll call when I know anything.'' I say, wondering how I will get to his place since I don't know where it is, and I don't have a car to drive anymore. Wanda said goodbye recently and there was nothing more that could be done for her, as the problem was she refused to start.

''Yeah, just call and I'll send Taylor for you. Ehm… I uh, I have contacted a psychiatrist for you. She will see you Monday morning, if that doesn't fit, we can change the day or time?'' He says looking uneasy.

''No, Monday morning's fine.'' I say crossing my arms over my middle. ''Guess I'll see you around?'' His lips rise at one side of his mouth, not in a smirk, but an amused smile. I like it, it suits him.

''Yes, tomorrow'' he confirms. ''Take some Advil, you had quite the night, last night'' he says with a smirk. Then he leans in, and I'm sure he's about to kiss me. But he goes for my ear, and whisper in a seductive voice. ''I know you don't have one, but if you want to, you can always measure mine'' he says with a chuckle before heading for the hall and walking out of the apartment.

What did he mean by that? Did I say anything inappropriate yesterday? I walk into Kate's bedroom, and both Kate and Elliot are still asleep. They're both sleeping on opposite sides of the bed with their backs turned to each other. They must be still fighting, about whatever made Kate mad.

Not caring about the fact that Elliot is lying in Kate's bed, most likely in his underwear; I jump into her bed, and lie down between them. Elliot rolls over and drapes his arm over my body, and I stiffen. ''Morning, sis'' he whispers ''tired of my brother's ass already and decided to switch to the better brother?'' he teases and I see a smile on his face ''you've definitely come to the right place.''

''Pig,'' I say lifting his arm of off me, and throwing it back at him. ''Can someone please tell me what happened last night?'' I ask, as I stare up at the ceiling. I feel Kate move, and when I look over at her, she has a huge grin at her face. ''Please tell me what I said.''

''You were our entertainment,'' Elliot says and tickles me on my ribs.

''If you say I was stripping, I might have a heart attack.'' I say looking at them both, first at Elliot then at Kate, and then at Elliot again. ''Please say that my clothes stayed on.''

''While you were with us yes, but we don't know what you and Christian did afterwards.'' Kate says, and Elliot mumbles his agreement. ''We played 'never have I ever'. Does that ring a bell?'' She asks, and I nod my head. ''Remember Christian joining us?'' When did he join in? I shake my head and she laughs. ''Well you found your spot at his lap, and looked really friendly with him. And you wouldn't stop giggling, I think Christian was into it.'' God, I can't remember that.

''Why are you wondering? Did Christian say something to you?'' Elliot asks, and I nod my head and blush.

''I didn't understand what he meant, though'' I say and both Elliot and Kate prop themselves up on their elbows and look down at me in the middle. ''He said something like, 'since you don't have one, you can measure mine' or something like that?'' I say, trying to mimic Christian's voice. And they both fall back on their backs laughing hysterically. ''What? What did he mean by that?'' I ask, feeling quite defensively.

''Jose… h he… and you… and…'' Kate tries to say something through her laughter. ''You say it Elliot'' she says as she continues to laugh.

''Geez, give me a second'' he says as he tries to get his breath back. ''When it was Jose's turn, he said 'never have I ever measured my penis' and guess who took a shot'' he says looking at me waiting for my answer. OMG! Did I make a comment about Christian's penis? When I don't answer he continues. ''You took a shot, and said if you had one you would have measured it, you were really out of it'' he says and goes back to laughing.

''That's when Christian decided you've had enough for the day'' Kate laughs. ''But talking about Penises, how is Christian in that department?''

''Kate, ewwwww, that's my brother'' Elliot says covering his ears. He rolls out of bed, in only his boxers of course, and heads out in search of the bathroom, I think.

''Well…'' Kate says, sitting up in her bed, and I sit up with her. ''Come on Ana, is he big?''

''I don't have anything to compare it too, you know that'' I say and Kate doesn't look very happy about my answer. ''I don't know, I haven't seen much'' I say trying to get off the bed, but she pulls me back. ''Between 8 or 9 inches maybe? Are you happy?'' I ask, and her eyes widen.

''Jesus Steele, you've hit the jackpot with that one. Good for you'' she says with a loving smile.

''I'll see you both in Seattle tomorrow,'' Elliot says as he walks over to Kate and kiss her on her cheek.

''You'll be fine, right?'' He asks us both but only looks at Kate; she nods up at him and smiles. I know my best friend and I've received many smiles from her, this one is not a happy Kate smile. There's something on her mind that's been bothering her. ''Okay, bye baby'' he says and peck her mouth.

Kate doesn't say goodbye back, but instead turn away from him. He looks sad for a moment then he shakes it off and walks to the door. ''Bye, Elliot see you soon'' I say with a smile, and he nod sadly before he leaves.

Kate stands at the same spot for what seems like ages after he leaves. It's only seconds really, but I can see that my friend is hurt by something. I walk over to her and hug her. She falls against my chest and a few tears slip out of her eyes. We sit down at the couch and she dries her eyes, and smiles like nothing happened.

''Kate,'' I sigh ''please tell me what's going on. Let me help you… what is bothering you?'' I ask and I start rubbing her back to sooth her. She shakes her head and smiles at me, but she's not kidding anyone but herself. ''I know you Kate'' I whisper, and she sighs and looks down at her lap.

''I'm late,'' she chokes, and I can see how scared she looks.

''As in…?'' I ask, even though I don't have to. She nods and bites her lip to stop from trembling. ''What are you going to do about it?'' I ask, and she shrugs. ''Have you told Elliot? You know he wouldn't…''

''He wouldn't what?'' she snaps, ''please tell me what he wouldn't do. Because I know he will leave me, and never look back.'' She cries.

''If Elliot's the father…''

''Ana'' she sighs. ''I haven't known him long enough for him to be the father. And he wouldn't stay with me if he knew I was having another man's baby'' she cries.

''Let's take a test…'' I say. ''Maybe you're just late, let's not tell him anything until we know for sure.'' She nods her head, and leans her head on my shoulder. ''I'll go get one,'' I say looking down at my watch ''I still have time. Where's your car keys'' she nods her head in their direction, and I take them in my hand. ''Will you be okay for 15 minutes? We can just wait until we get to Seattle?'' I say but she shakes her head.

''No, we need to do this know'' she stands up and walks towards me. ''I'm going with you. But you drive'' she says and we walk out together.

* * *

''OMG'' Kate sighs as we look at the ocean of different pregnancy tests. ''Which one?'' she asks me and I shrug. When it comes to pregnancy tests I have no idea what to choose. ''I'll take 3 different ones… If the result is the same, then I have my answer.'' I nod and give her a reassuring smile.

We walk to the register and Kate pays for the pregnancy tests. The lady shows us a toilet in the back of the store, and we walk in. Kate sits down not even embarrassed about the fact that I'm standing there. I sit down on the floor and wait for Kate to do her thing. She lays the 3 pregnancy tests by the sink, and sits down next to me.

''Can I ask you a question?'' I ask.

''I don't know'' she answer without me having to ask the question I was about to ask. ''There are 2 guys it could be… Arghhh!'' She says and hides her face in her hands. ''I'm such a whore.''

''No you're not. Don't ever say something like that'' I say sternly at her and she gives me a weak smile, and I see tears forming in her eyes.

''You'll make a great mom, one day Ana'' she smiles at me. ''I can't be pregnant. My parents will stop all income and not even regret it, you know how my parents are'' she sighs. ''They've always said that Ethan and I don't even have to think about kids before we're married. They'll be so disappointed in me.''

''Oh, Katie'' I say rubbing her back again. ''They won't. And you would make an amazing mother, you would be strict when you have to, and your kid would be so lucky getting a mom like you. And if you're pregnant then I'm here for you. I will always be here for you Kate'' I say. Then I remember what we were doing last night and ask, ''If you knew you were late, why did you drink those shots last night?''

She snorts. ''I made a few for myself with water. Aren't I pathetic? I'm just glad no one took them.'' She snorts again, and shakes her head like she can't believe she did that. ''Can you please look at the tests'' she chokes; I nod as I stand up.

''Everything will be okay,'' I say before looking at the tests and she nods. I walk over to the sink and watch the 3 different sticks. I turn to her, and give her a weak smile. ''They're negative'' she jumps up and hugs me.

''Thank god… I feel super bad for feeling like this, in case there was a baby in here'' she says holding her stomach. ''But I'm so happy,'' she says with a smile.

''I get that; a baby isn't in your near future. You want a job and a stable life before you start thinking about a family.''

''I need alcohol, like now.'' She says loudly as we walk out of the bathroom, and the lady at register smiles at us both.


	11. Chapter 11

**ANA**

''Ana wake up! Happy moving day!'' Kate says in a sing-song voice as she opens my door. ''I've brought breakfast. I even made you a cup of tea, so let's eat and get moving.'' I open one of my eyes to look up at her, and she's smiling brightly at me. ''Come on,'' she whines and walks over to my bed and starts to push me out of it. ''You're moving in with your husband, he's probably missing you.''

He's probably not actually; I bet he hates this as much as I do. But I have to put on a show for Kate, I promised Christian I would do that. ''Yes,'' I say as happily as I can ''I'm up.'' I get up and change out of my pajamas, and pack the rest of the items in my room into the renaming boxes, and then I walk out into the kitchen. That's when I see Kate's tower of cheeseburgers from McDonalds. ''Are you serious?'' I whine, and she grins and nods.

''Yeah, don't you miss these'' she asks taking a bite of one. She closes her eyes and lets out a moan. ''You're married now, so you don't have to worry about your form. And I have a boyfriend who I… well I'm not worrying about my form either.'' She says and takes another bite, which is followed by another moan. ''Come on, Ana, only today. Let's think of it as a good bye to this place'' I roll my eyes and take one of the burgers in my hand.

''Not exactly breakfast, but they're good'' I say as I take a bite ''a little bit dry, don't you think?'' She pushes a pack of ketchup towards me, but doesn't respond because she has her mouth full of burger. I open the cheeseburger and squeeze the pack of ketchup on it. It's completely disgusting, but also so delicious at the same time. I wonder what Christian would say if he saw this? I can't imagine him at McDonalds, or really anything that's not fancy. I'm sure even his burgers are fancy.

''Hurry up'' Kate says when she's done chewing and lifting up another cheeseburger into her mouth. ''We need to get going soon, I wanna see my man'' she says with a loving smile and a wink. I walk over to the kitchen counter and grab the tea she made for me, and drink it while we eat the burgers. ''All done'' she says.

She goes to her room and returns a few seconds later with her bag. The rest of our stuff is either being shipped or is already in boxes in Kate's car. Most of my stuff isn't going anywhere, I'm only really taking my personal items. I get rid of all the burger wrappers and proceed to clean off the counter for one last time.

''You know,'' Kate says looking at me ''my parents did order someone to clean this place up, you don't have to do that.''

''I know'' I say putting my shoes on ''but this is my last chance to clean here.'' I smile at her. ''I've had the best years ever here with you Katie, I will miss it. So many breakups we've had, mostly yours, in this apartment and so many "I hate boys" nights. And all those "I'm freaking out" days over tests and boys and families, I will miss it'' I say and tears start to form in her eyes.

''Aw! Annie, you're making me cry'' she says wiping the tears away that were forming under her eye. ''I will miss this place too. And I will miss living with you'' that's when tears begin to form in my eyes. ''Let's get out of here, before we both burst into tears and never leave'' she says, and then we walk out and lock the door of our apartment for the last time.

* * *

''You drive'' Kate says throwing her keys at me. I catch them and get behind the wheel. I love driving Kate's car, it's just so new and so… not Wanda, who I will miss immensely, but her time is done and I have accepted that.

We start driving, and Kate grabs the Bluetooth and types in Elliot's number to call him. We hear a lot of background noise and then Elliot's voice saying, ''Hey babe, I'm at work so I can't talk long'' he says.

''Do you have a few minutes?'' Kate asks, and I feel bad for listening in to their conversation. I know it's Kate's fault since she just called on the Bluetooth connected to the car, but it still just doesn't feel right.

''Yeah sure, give me a sec'' he says and the noise get's louder and louder until we hear a door shut and then the noise is barely noticeable. ''Hey, what's up'' he asks. He sounds wary, like he's afraid of who he's talking to; pissed off Kate, sweet Kate, or crazy Kate. But I guess that he's been talking to all the Kate since she noticed that she was late.

''Hey baby, I miss you'' she says.

''I miss you too. Have you left yet?'' He asks, and Kate explains where we are. All she had to say was that we had just left, but I guess she wants to prolong their conversation. ''I can maybe get off work, if things run smoothly here. Call me when you're in Tacoma and I'll see what I can do.'' He says and I look quickly over at Kate, and the smile she has on her face is indescribable. I guess my little Kate finally has deep feelings for someone.

''Elliot… I want to apologize for the way I have treated you lately'' he starts to say something but Kate stops him. ''Just listen to me okay? I'm sorry and I shouldn't have done that. I'll explain everything later, but Elliot, I… I love you'' she says.

''I love you too, baby'' I try my best to concentrate on the road in front of me, but I manage to steal a glance at Kate and she's smiling more brightly than I think she ever had before.

''I have to go, see you later. Please drive safe. Good bye.''

''Good bye, Elliot'' both Kate and I say at the same time.

''Bye. Oh and Ana," he says with a chuckle ''call my brother would ya? He's been worried,'' he says and hangs up before I can answer.

''I'll call him in a bit'' I say to Kate and she nods. ''So this is love huh, real love? Katherine Kavanaugh is in love?'' I ask and she grins.

''I guess she is… I think this is the man for me, Ana. Am I going to marry him? Who knows, maybe … but then we'll be sisters'' she squeals and claps her hands together, I don't answer her, I just nod. No matter what happens, Kate will always be the sister I never had. ''How are his parents?'' Kate asks out of the blue after we've driven a little while longer. ''You are coming to the family dinner tomorrow, right?''

This is the first I've ever heard of a family dinner, I don't remember Christian even mentioning anything. But why would he when his parents hate me. ''I'm not sure if we're going'' I say trying to cover the hurt in my voice. ''And I haven't spent much time with them, so I'm not sure.''

''Oh, but are they like… nice and stuff.'' She asks, and this is seriously not a conversation I want to have, because it is quite hurtful that Christian's parents won't even give me a chance to show them who I really am. They just think I'm after his money, which I don't even want.

''I guess… they're probably sweet and… uh...and… and we didn't really get off on the right foot,'' I say.

''Oh,'' she says, then she's quiet again. ''Wait, wait, wait'' she says after a few minutes. ''Ana I haven't ever met a nicer person than you, even in the beginning of our friendship when I was still a high school bitch, you were still so nice to me. How can they not like you? I don't get that.''

''Thanks Kate, but they're protecting their son, and obviously they think I'm the enemy. I'm just the gold digger that their billionaire boy married randomly.'' I say and I feel a tear slide down my face. ''I really don't wanna talk about this more, can you please drive?'' I ask as I drive into a gas station, and she nods.

* * *

**CHRISTIAN**

So far this day has been complete shit. Well every day seems to be shit nowadays. Anastasia is moving in today and Taylor has found a CPO to Ana. When I met him he seemed to be a decent person, and I trust Taylor to find the best there is out there, which he seems to have found with this Sawyer guy.

Gail is in the kitchen now cooking food to be ready for when Ana arrives. Her bed is ready to be slept in, all she's missing is the furniture, which we will go look at tomorrow. God! IKEA, why did she want to go there? I could understand it if I wasn't rich… if we _weren't_ rich, but we are. I just don't get it.

''Mr. Grey'' I hear Andrea over the intercom ''there's a Ms. Katherine Kavanaugh on the phone for you.''

''I'll take it…'' I say and only seconds later my phone rings. I answer it and as I'm about to say...I don't know what I was going to say, I am immediately cut off by Kate.

''Ana is upset,'' she whispers. ''I don't know why, well maybe I do actually. I mentioned the dinner party tomorrow at your parents house…'' shit I have completely forgotten about that. Of course I planned on taking Ana with me, I was going to show my parents that they're mistaken about their assumptions in regards to Ana. ''And I asked'' Kate continues, ''about your parents and how they are, and she got upset, and said that they hadn't gotten off on the right foot. And after that she just zoned out I guess'' she says, and continues to rant on.

''Where are you now?'' I ask, as I walk over to my charger to grab my phone and start to dial Ana's number.

''At a gas station in Tacoma, she's at the toilet.''

''Okay, I'm calling her now,'' I say and hang up. After 3 rings it stops. I find her number again and try one more time. After 2 rings she finally answers. ''Ana?'' I ask, but no one answers. ''Anastasia?''

''Hey, Christian'' she says trying to sound chipper but fails, I can hear it in her voice that she's been crying.

''What's wrong?'' I ask, starting on an e-mail to Andrea telling her to cancel all my appointments today.

''Nothing is wrong… it's just… it's an emotional day, I'll be fine'' she says.

''Do you want me to come and get you? It's no problem,'' I walk out of my office, and see Taylor standing at the elevator. I nod at him and get into the elevator. ''I planned on us going to IKEA tomorrow, but we can do that today if you want. I don't want you to be upset.''

''I said I'm not upset, why do you think that?'' She asks defensively.

''I talked to Kate, Ana,'' I say and she sighs ''I forgot about it, I promise. I have already told my mother that we will be there, it just slipped my mind to ask you. I know things haven't been easy with my parents, but we're going to fix that, okay?''

''Okay,'' she whispers in a shaky breath. ''You don't need to come, I'm nearly in Seattle, it's about an hour. But I would like to go to IKEA today with you, sir.'' She says sweetly, while giggling. And I find myself holding my breath, oh god she will be the death of me. Did she really just call me sir? Jesus. ''Christian are you there?''

''I'm here'' I say hoarsely ''I'll meet you at Kate's new apartment in a little while.'' I hang up on her, and let out a sigh. I look at Taylor in the rearview mirror. ''Flynn, now'' I hiss at him, and he turns the car around.

* * *

''Christian I don't see the problem,'' Flynn says after I've ranted on and on about Ana.

''The problem,'' I say angrily at him ''is these fucking emotions.''

''What emotions?'' He asks, looking down at his notepad ready to start writing down my life story again. I have no idea why he does that, it's not like he's going to use them later in life.

''I don't know… confusion, determination.''

''Determination?'' He asks, as he writes down more than the two works I have just said.

''I guess it's determination to… save her, in a way. I don't know, it's just… it's all so fucking confusing. One minute I'm pissed as hell at her, because of the situation, and in the next minute I need to make her smile because it makes me so fucking happy to see her smile,'' he nods and has a knowing smile on his face, and that just pisses me more off. ''Her friend called me and said that Ana was upset and it didn't feel good at all to hear that.''

''Where did you feel it?''

''In my chest I guess,'' I say looking down at my hands intertwined in my lap.

''In your heart, you mean'' he says looking at me until I look up at him and meet his eyes.

''No, no not at all, it just didn't feel good. You know I don't have a heart and I don't care for people other than my family'' I lie. It's a total lie, I do care for my family but I also care for Anastasia, but that wasn't supposed to happen. ''I don't have feelings for her, how many times do I have to say that? I just don't want to see her hurt, and she's so naïve, she could get hurt very easily… She's my… she's like a charity case, I just want to help her figure her life out.''

Did I just say that? Anastasia Steele… Grey… whatever her name is, is definitely lot of things, I have both negative and positive things to say about her, but she is _not_ a charity case.

She's curious about the world, brave, confident, nosy, and she so damn _naïve_. She sees the good in everyone, even me. She's smart, bright, clever, intelligent, she is really inspiring and I wish I could be more like her, damn I wish the world could be more like her.

She is very generous, she thinks of others needs instead of her own, and she thinks she can save the world somehow. She is helpful and kind, polite and thoughtful. She's like damn mother Theresa, I can hardly find anything negative about her.

Except… the fact that she's sassy, egotistical at times, irritating, it irritates me so much that she always has to spite me and that she can never agree to anything I do for her. She's sharp, and has one hell of a smart mouth. But the good things outweigh the bad things, when I'm around her I don't care about the negative parts. Because, she's beautiful, angelic, delightful, irresistible, kind, pretty, sweet. God! What the fuck is happening to me?

''I can see it on your face Christian'' Flynn says and I focus my attention back onto him. ''You don't have to tell me, before you're ready. But there's more to this than just a 'charity' case,'' he says. ''But you have revealed a lot today, Christian, and that's really good progress. Even though you haven't said much you have clearly discovered new things about yourself.'' He closes his notepad and places it on the table, before looking me directly in the eyes. ''I know you don't want to hear this, but I'm saying it anyway. If anyone in this world can love, it's you Christian. You may not know this yet but it's true. You've been through so much in your life, and frankly I think you need a break. You are stressed and should try to start relaxing, live your life. But… with the experiences you have dealt with, it's only made you stronger, and when you meet the right person, who you might have already met, you will love her fiercely and you will change for her. Wait and see, Christian. I'm sure of it.''


	12. Chapter 12

**I was trying to post this chapter earlier, but every time I tried this was all that came up: ''**503 Service Unavailable. No server is available to handle this request.**'' So I waited, and here it is. **

* * *

**ANA**

''We're here!'' Kate squeals as we park our car next to our, I mean, _Kate's,_ new apartment. Both Christian and Elliot are leaning against Christian's Audi, in what seemed to be a serious conversation. And I was reminded of what Elliot told me about his and Christian's relationship. When Kate and I close our car doors, Elliot is by Kate's side in seconds, and Christian is just looking at me.

Neither of us is sure who should make the first move, but the way he's staring at each me makes me blush. I close the distance between us and Christian opens his arms for me to walk into. I know that it's just because Kate and Elliot are here, but I gladly relax into his arms. I lean into the hug and Christian kisses the top of my head.

''Hey,'' he says leaning away slightly so he can see my face. ''You okay?'' He asks, looking in my face for hints that I may not be. I nod, and he smiles. ''Good,'' he look over my shoulder, and quickly looks back at me. ''We should probably get going'' he says. I turn my head and see Kate and Elliot going at it. ''Do you need help backing out or… a condom?'' Christian asks, and Elliot shows him the finger.

''Nope,'' Elliot say grinning down at Kate. ''We're going to christen the place'' Kate is grinning up at Elliot, and they go back to making out. I turn back around towards Christian when I see Elliot's tongue enter Kate's mouth.

''Let's get out of here,'' Christian says, sounding extremely pissed off. He helps me into the car, and gets in behind me and looks out my window one more time, ''drive, Taylor'' he says with a groan. I study the expression on his face, and I only see annoyance and anger.

''Are you mad?'' I ask.

''Yes… no… maybe. I just don't like public affection, I don't get why people do that'' he says with a huff.

''You've never?'' I ask in disbelief ''surely you've kissed your previous girlfriends in public?''

''I haven't'' he says looking out his own window, not looking at me. ''I don't kiss.''

''You've kissed me,'' I whisper, he's kissed me many times. A few kisses on top of my head or pecks on my lips. Then there's the kiss at the bar, and when he made love to me the second time his lips never left mine. Then when we Skyped with his parents, he kissed me like crazy. And all those times, I kissed him back.

''Yes, I have'' he says, still not looking. He doesn't turn around, so I take out my phone to try and amuse myself. I'm not really sure what to do with it though because I can't text Kate and this phone don't have any games. I decide to text my dad and tell him that I arrived in Seattle safely and am now with Christian.

The car stops, and I see where we are, and I am so excited. We're here, we are really here. I am going to see billionaire Christian Grey shop at IKEA. ''Thank you,'' I say and Christian turns around in confusion. ''Thank you'' I say again ''for doing this with me.''

''It's what you want,'' he says with a frown.

''I know, but thank you'' I kiss him on his cheek as Taylor opens my door. ''Hi,'' I say to Taylor and he nods at me. Is he not allowed to address me or something? I'll have to ask Christian about that later. I walk over to Christian, and he holds out his hand for me, and I gladly take it. We walk towards the entrance, and I feel all giddy.

* * *

**CHRISTIAN**

What the fuck have I agreed to? I look around at all the shelves in horror at this massed produced nightmare. It's no wonder the quality of the furniture isn't good. I turn around in a circle, taking it all in. The place, the products and the people shopping here was overwhelming. I hear Ana giggle, and I look over at her to see her staring at me and biting her lip, trying to hide a laugh. She looks really sexy right now.

''Are you laughing at me?'' I ask, with a smile tugging at my lips, and she nods. ''You think this is funny?'' I ask, and she nods her head again. She turns her head and look over at Taylor who doesn't fit in here at all, although I guess I don't really either. I walk over to her and wrap my arms around her waist. ''What do you want?''

''I'm not sure, all I need is book shelves, but other than that I'm pretty open minded about what furniture I put in the room,'' she says as we walk around, trying to find out where the heck we're going.

''I have a library'' I say and she looks up at me with raised eyebrows ''I can make space for your books, so you don't need book shelves.''

''You have-?'' She have, ''you didn't tell me!''

''I don't use it, so I didn't really think about it'' I say with a shrug. We continue to walk deeper into the store following where the arrows on the ground tell us to go. There are people everywhere here, of all ages, and so many noises everywhere, it's obnoxious. Ana walks towards the desk area, and I reluctantly follow her.

I look over at Taylor and see that he's just as uncomfortable here as I am. But I think our reasons for discomfort differ. Mine is that I just don't want to be here, while I think Taylor's discomfort stems from security reasons. There are people _everywhere_, and with Ana walking back and forth it's not easy for him to follow us.

I have seen a few cell phones directed towards Ana and I, but I don't think Ana has noticed them and I'm glad, because I'm not sure how she would react to it. I don't know how the world will react to her, we still haven't gone public yet, and Ana doesn't know that we need to go public.

''What do you think of this?'' She ask, pointing to the desk in front of her. She inspects it, like it's a work of art and she pulls out all the drawersNs inspects them.

''You don't want to know,'' I mutter and she narrows her eyes at me. ''Ana'' I sigh ''you know I don't want to be here, you know my opinion on this store, I'm here because you want to be here. Buy whatever makes you happy, you have to live with them'' I say, and I turn to find Taylor. He took a seat on one of the couches, and is looking at us trying to hide his laughter into his fist.

I walk over to him and sit down beside him, my eyes never leaving Ana. I sigh and Taylor chuckles, ''I'll give her another hour and then we're leaving'' I say. Ana starts to walk away, _again,_ to look at other furniture around her, and I get up and walk back over to her. She has some paper in her hands and begins to write something on it.

''I'm taking this,'' she says, walking over to the chairs and starts testing them out. ''Which chair would you pick?'' I run my hand through my hair, and give her a look that makes her giggle. ''Okay, okay I will stop asking you'' she smiles at me, holding her hands up. I take the papers out of her hands and see that she's scribbled down product numbers. ''I think I have enough for now, you wanna eat?'' She asks.

''Here?'' I ask and she nods. ''Ana, you can't be serious. Let's go somewhere else. We can go to the register and pick up these…uh...products, and then we can find an _actual_ restaurant to eat at.''

''Okay, come on'' she says and takes my hand in hers, and I can't help the smile on my face. I see another camera directed towards us, and Ana turns around. ''Did you see that? That person is totally taking pictures of us,'' she says, tensing up at bit.

''I know,'' I stroking a finger down her soft chin ''I'm sorry, I can't help it. For these next few months, you will see quite a few cameras.'' I say with an apologetic smile.

''But why'' she asks, her eyes widening.

''I have no idea, I don't get it and I don't like it, but that's just how it is'' I say, kissing the top of her head. ''Let's get out of here. You have the product numbers right?'' I ask and she nods ''okay, then we can order it online. Come'' I say and take her hand again.

We start following the arrows on the floor again, this time leading us out of this store. They have everything here you could imagine. There is furniture for every part of the house, I'm actually a little impressed. I stop abruptly when a child runs into my legs and clings to them. I look down at the little boy, and then I start looking around to see if I can see who this child belongs to. I don't see any signs of someone who's looking for their child. I hear Ana giggle, and both I and the boy look up at her.

''Hi,'' Ana says sweetly squatting down at the boys level. He smiles warily at her, and Ana beams her amazing smile back at him. ''Have you lost your parents?'' She asks, and the boy nods. ''We're going to help you find them again, okay?'' Ana says looking up at me and I nod at her. I want to get out of here, but I would never leave a child behind, I would never want a child to feel anything like what I went through. ''I'm Ana.''

''I'm Brian,'' he says sucking his thumb.

''That's a beautiful name,'' Ana says, and the little boy who looks like he's maybe around 4, smiles toothily at Ana. ''What is your mommy and daddy's name?'' Ana ask, and the boy seems to think for a little while.

''Susan,'' he says ''my daddy is gone'' he whispers, and Ana looks sadly at him, but she quickly has her smile back. He points behind him, but doesn't say anything.

''Is your mommy that way?'' She asks, and he nods. She looks up at me with a sweet smile then she looks back at the boy, ''this is Christian.'' I smile down at him, but I'm not really sure what to do. ''Can you carry him?'' Ana asks, and my eyes widen. ''Please, Christian. Look at him, he's 4 and clearly lost, let's help him'' the look Ana has on her face does something to me, and I just can't say no.

Ana stands up again, and I lean down lifting the little boy up. ''Hi'' I whisper at him, and he hides his face in my neck. Ana smiles at me and mouths 'thank you.' We start walking around and Ana asks him questions about what his mother looks like, and where he saw her last. Most of his answers are shrugs, but Ana and I have a general idea of what his mother looks like.

Taylor is walking right behind her, and I know that he's also looking for the boy's mother. ''Excuse me Ma'am'' Taylor says and Ana looks back at him with an annoyed look ''maybe we should take him to the information desk. The boy's mom might be waiting for him there.'' Ana looks around one last time before nodding.

We walk for a little while, then we see a woman crying hysterical into her hands, and an employee trying to calm her down. ''Mommy!'' The boy shouts, and her head whips up. ''Mommy,'' he squeals again. Ana takes the boy from my arms, and walks over to the woman; and she hugs her son in a tight grip. I can't help but think that no one ever did that for me, my mom would never have done that for me when she was alive.

''Brian'' she cries, and he holds onto his mother tightly, she looks up at Ana then at me. ''Thank you,'' she says to both of us. She looks back at her son ''I thought I had lost you too'' she cries. Brian looks around then points at something.

''Toys,'' he says ''I wanna play'' he says trying to get out of her lap.

''No baby,'' she whispers, drying her tears. Brian doesn't listen to her, and jumps off her lap. She starts to stand up, but Ana holds up her hand, and tells her she'll look after him. I look over at Ana as she saunters after the boy and watches as he starts to pick up the toys. The woman tries to pull herself together, but seems to struggle. I sit down beside her and hand her my handkerchief. ''Thank you,'' she whispers. ''You're Christian Grey, right?'' she asks after a little while.

''Yeah,'' I answer warily as I look at Ana and Brian throwing a ball back and forth. ''What happened to your husband, if you don't mind me asking,'' I ask, her and she takes in a deep breath.

''He… h-he'' she stammers ''died in a car crash,'' she says not meeting my eyes. ''Brian is all I have left,'' she says sadly. ''I don't know what to tell Brian, it happened pretty recently and he's always asking me when his daddy will be home.'' She looks back up at me, with teary eyes. ''It's hard, but we'll manage.'' She looks over at her son with a weak smile.

''I'm sorry for your loss,'' I say and she nods. I want to say something more but I don't know what I should or shouldn't say.

''Your girlfriend seems great.''

''Wife,'' I correct her, I didn't mean to say it, it just slipped out. I stand up and walk over towards Ana, she looks at me and smiles then she goes back to playing with the boy. ''Hi,'' I whisper to her.

''Brian, why don't you go and show your mommy the toy'' Ana asks, and he walks away happily. She turns towards me, and rests her arms on top of my shoulders, and my hands go directly to her waist. ''Thank you,'' she says.

''I want to do something for them,'' I say and Ana nods with a smile. ''She lost her husband in a car accident and she's all alone with her son.''

''No,'' Ana gasps. ''We have to do something'' I nod and she smiles at me. ''You're a sweet man, Mr. Grey'' she says and pecks my lips quickly.

''That's a first,'' I say with a chuckle. ''Let's go talk with Susan and see what she needs,'' Ana takes my hand, and we walk over to them.

* * *

**ANA**

''I can't believe you did all that for them, that was amazing'' I say sipping the glass of wine that Christian ordered. After we parted ways with Susan and Brian, we found a restaurant to eat at. We stayed a little while and talked with them, and Susan and I actually exchanged numbers. I think I may just have made my first friend in Seattle.

''It was nothing,'' Christian says with a shrug, but I know he's lying. Trying to be a hard ass male and all that, but I know that Christian has a warm and fuzzy heart, and it made me so happy when he told me he wanted to help them.

''It was 20 thousand dollars, Christian! That wasn't nothing, you helped that woman out while she's faced with a difficult time in her life,'' I say with a smile full of gratitude.

''We helped,'' He correct me, and I like that he does that. It was Christian's money, but I like that Christian thinks of this as something we did together, for someone else. ''You were great with the little boy,'' he tells me.

''I love kids, especially at that age, they're the cutest…'' I admit, and smile down at my food. I have always wanted kids, and I can't wait until the day that I have children, but I'm not there yet. Plus I need to be in a stable relationship, with the man of my dreams. ''Ehm… the dinner tomorrow, when is that?''

''At 6, we don't have to go if you don't want to. I understand if you don't want to, especially after the way my parents have been towards you.'' He says.

''No we have to, or they'll never like me. What do I need to know about your family?'' I ask and he huffs.

''Well my mother is a pediatrician, my dad is a lawyer, nothing much to tell there. My sister on the other hand…'' he says looking exasperated. ''She's something else'' he says ''she will be a bit much, but you'll get use to her. She will probably be more forceful towards you than she'll be with Kate, but I think you will like each other.''

''Why me more than Kate?'' I ask with a frown.

''Well I'm her favorite brother,'' he says with a cocky grin, but when he sees that I'm not amused he gets serious again. ''I've never brought a girl home before.'' What? Never brought a girl home before? Didn't his girlfriends get to meet his parents, is this why they are so protective? ''I can see the wheels spinning, Ana'' he says pointing at my head ''I've never had a girlfriend, _or _boyfriend like my mother seemed to think. I've never dated, never kissed, never cuddled, held hands, or went shopping with a girl that wasn't my sister or my mother. You're the first,'' he says taking a sip of his wine.

''You never used to kiss?'' I ask and he shakes his head, ''or just laid in a bed with a girl, or held hands?'' He shakes his head again. ''But you've had sex,'' I say. It was meant more as a question but came out as a statement. He nods his head, smirking at me. ''But… but it's, it's so personal'' I say trying to figure him out. ''It's so intimate, and you've only had sex? You've made love to people without kissing them?'' I ask in disbelief.

''No,'' he says looking into my eyes. ''I never made love… I fuck, Anastasia. I don't want sex to be something intimate shared between lovers, you don't have to be in love to be sexually attracted to someone'' he says still looking into my eyes. He asks for the check as a waitress walks by our table, and he puts his suit jacket back on, and waits for me to walk in front of him.

''_I never made love… I fuck''_ what does he mean by that? How can you not kiss someone when you do something else that's even more intimate with them? He kissed me. In fact, he has kissed me so many times, and he's really good at it. No one has ever kissed me like he does. And I like it, I like it a lot, and wish he would never stop.


	13. Chapter 13

**CHRISTIAN**

As I lay in bed, I toss and turn for about an hour. No matter how hard I try, I just can't fall asleep, the thought of Ana sleeping in the submissive bedroom, bothers me in a way, and in another way turns me on. I should've just picked a random guestroom for her, because she's not my submissive, and she never will be. If Ana finds out about the BDSM aspect of my life, even if she finds out that she's sleeping in the same bedroom as all my other subs have, I can't imagine how she will react.

Actually, I know how she would react. Ana would leave me. Then go into hiding until we can finalize the divorce, but I don't want that. I want the divorce, but I don't want Ana to be repulsed by me, or leave me. I enjoy her company, both in and out of bed. She's the first female I've ever wanted to spend time with outside the bedroom…playroom. I wouldn't mind taking Ana in there, but she would never agree to it, at least not now. And now that I know how inexperienced she is, I don't want to take her in there.

I get out of bed, and walk into the kitchen to make myself a cup of coffee. I take the coffee with me and head to my home office. I've always found my office at home relaxing. It's _my _office and other than Taylor and my father, no one has been in here. At Grey Enterprises Holdings, I've had meetings and shit like that in my office, and most of the meetings I have are rather unpleasant. It is unpleasant for them, but I do feel bad when I see the realization on their faces that they finally understand how deep under they're going to be, if they don't sell.

Ultimately, they walk out of my office with a good deal, but the family businesses are the ones that have problems. The ones that were started way, way back, those are the people who have it the hardest when they sell to me. They almost never leave my office happy, even though they have a good deal, but they are the ones who "failed the family".

I sit down in my office chair, and let out a breath to try and relax. I take out my keys from my pocket and open my second drawer, and my eyes land on exactly what I _didn't_ want to find. I pick up the document, and quickly glance at it.

* * *

_CONTRACT BETWEEN  
Mr. Christian Grey, of 301 Escala, Seattle, WA 98889 (''The dominant'') _

_Miss Anastasia Steele, of 1114 SW Green Street, Apartment 7, Heaven Heights, Vancouver, WA 98888 (''The submissive'')_

* * *

God I can't read this, even though I know exactly what it says by heart. Why did I draft a contract before knowing the circumstances we would end up in? I close the file, and stand up without my coffee and walk towards the playroom. As I pass Ana's room, I stop and listen to see if there are any sounds coming from her room. Snoring, laughing, maybe crying, but there's nothing. I continue on my journey until I reach the door to my playroom. I take the key out of my pocket and open the door. I quickly enter and quietly close the door behind me and lock it.

I walk into the room and the smell of citrus hits me as I take a deep breath in. I lay the document down on the bed and start to open the drawers. I find the new items I bought for Ana when I still thought she could be my submissive, as well as some of the old items. If Ana saw this, would she be repulsed? Or would she be turned on? I take one of the whips into my hand and flick it, hearing the hissing sound it makes as it cuts through the air.

I sit down on the bed, feeling the sheets between my fingers and enjoying the smell of citrus and leather, my favorite smells. It brings back so many good memories, but I can't picture the subs anymore. Now every time I try to think about it, all I see is the one face that's been haunting me since meeting her, Ana. 6 months, it will be 6 months until I can get a new submissive. No way I could have one whilst married to Ana, nor do I want one. Although I need to find my release in another way, now that Ana's not on board with having casual sex. I guess my hand will do until I find something else to get me off.

I need to get out of here before I start to imagine me and Ana tangled together in these sheets. The smell already has me spotting a hard on, and I don't need the visions of me and Ana together or I will never be able to face her. These next months will be sheer torture for me. And in the end of it all, I'm losing her. I know I won't ever find anyone that makes me feel what Ana has made me feel, and it's only been a couple of weeks.

_What will happen after 6 months? God, what's happening to me?_

* * *

**ANA**

I've been lying in bed for an hour now, not sure what to do. What if no one else is up? It doesn't really feel right walking around here alone when everyone else is sleeping. From the tour we had yesterday, I know where most things are, but it still feels weird to walk around this new place alone. Although I know that when I leave the room and I walk to the right, I'll get to the kitchen and the living room, and then to the left is Christian's room and playroom. I didn't expect him to have a playroom, but apparently he has an x-box and play stations, along with a billiard table and more stuff that I'm not sure what they are.

I met Mrs. Jones who is Christian's housekeeper. She seemed really nice and I think we'll get along well. Sawyer on the other hand, I'll need to work on. I really don't want a relationship like what Taylor and Christian have together. I want to be at least on first name basis, and I want to be friends, someone I can talk to and trust. But yesterday he was very formal, always calling me Ma'am or Mrs. Grey.

I sit up in bed, and look around the room. It feels so empty, beside the bed and my bag on the floor, there's nothing in here. In the bathroom there's a bathtub, which I absolutely love. I always wanted a bathtub as a child, but I never got one. I get out of the bed and walk towards the walk in closet, which I know I'll never be able to fill, but it is really pretty.

I open the door and when I turn on the light inside, I'm stunned. It's full of clothes, beautiful dresses in different shapes and colors, shoes lined up underneath. I open the drawers and see lots of underwear, all in my size. How did he know my size? Every time he asked Taylor to get me clothes, the clothes have somehow always fit, and now they know my bra size. _Jesus._ How embarrassing.

Well it looks like I at least have clothes for the dinner tonight. I barely slept last night, because I just sat awake thinking about it. But this meeting I'll have Kate there as support and of course Elliot, plus Christian was sure that his sister would like me. So that's 2 out of 4. I need to do something though, to show them that I'm not after his money. So the first thing I'm doing today is going out to buy a nice dress to wear. I will not be wearing all these clothes that Christian bought for me. I put on a pair of jeans, and a tank top and find my way into the kitchen.

''Good morning'' I hear from behind me, when I exit my room. I turn around and see Christian standing there yawning, only in his pajama bottom. I lift my eyes quickly up to meet his eyes; hopefully he didn't see me gawking. His hair is a mess, and like everything else, it suits him.

''Good morning,'' I say with a smile, and he smiles back at me. ''Sleep well?'' We start to walk together towards the kitchen.

''Yeah, I slept okay I guess, you?''

''Like a baby,'' I say cheerfully and he chuckles. I'm not normally this cheerful in the mornings, but I've been up for a while so I'm no longer grumpy. ''I wanted to talk to you about something,'' I say as we sit down at the kitchen isle. Mrs. Jones is standing by the stoves making something that smell delicious.

''Okay,'' he says taking a sip off his coffee. ''You need help with something?''

''No… well maybe, if you're offering.'' I say and he narrows his eyes at me skeptically. ''I need to buy a dress for dinner later today, and I don't know where to look for one.''

''Have you looked in your closet?'' He asks, taking another sip of his coffee. ''There was supposed to be clothes in there for you.''

''I did see them, that was very nice of you. I really appreciate them, but I can't wear them'' I say dipping my tea bag in the cup in front of me.

''Why?'' He asks with a frown.

''I want to… I mean, I don't need your parents seeing me in something like that,'' his frowns even more at that. ''It's obvious that a girl like me couldn't have bought something like that, and that'll just prove your parents point about the whole gold digging thing.''

''Ana,'' he sighs ''I am your husband, and husbands buy stuff for their wives. When my parents met, mom wasn't from a wealthy family. She had lots of student loans from med school. My dad helped her pay them off, over the years. And he spent a lot of money buying pretty things for her,'' he says.

''That's different, he did it out of love. We're just pretending. That was real, this isn't.''

''They don't know that,'' he pick up his plate that Mrs. Jones set in front of him and walks out of the kitchen. ''Use the clothes, Ana'' he shouts after he's left the room. I sigh and sit back in my chair sipping my tea.

''What would you like to eat?'' Mrs. Jones asks turning around to look at me.

''Whatever Christian had is fine,'' I mutter.

''Yes, Ma'am.''

''Call me Ana, please'' I say sweetly giving her a smile. ''Can I help you?'' I ask standing and walking beside her. ''It smells really good.''

''Thank you, Ana, but you sit, and I'll bring it to you as soon as I've finished it.'' She says continuing what she was doing.

''I really would like to help, maybe you can teach me something. Please'' I say and she says yes with a smile. She asks me to get stuff from the fridge, and then explains everything she's doing to me.

Every time she asks me to try, I fail miserably, and she tries to hold in her laugh. She's a really nice lady, I would say she's in her late thirties or early forties, but not much older than that, and she looks great. ''Here you go,'' she says handing over the finished plate and I take it and sit back down on the isle.

''Thank you,'' I say. She makes a plate for herself, and starts to leave the room. ''Wait, sit with me'' I say looking over at one of the chairs.

''Ana, I couldn't…''

''Please, I want company while I eat breakfast.'' She smiles sweetly and nods her head. ''What's your name?'' I ask.

''Gail,'' she answers ''but you can call me Mrs. Jones, I don't mind.''

''Nonsense, I'll call you Gail. This was really fun, we should do it again,'' she answers with a smile and a nod. We eat our food in silence, I looked up at her a few times, and she looks uncomfortable, as if she didn't know if what she was doing was okay.

* * *

When we're done eating she picks up our plates and starts cleaning. ''How long have you worked for Christian?'' I ask.

''Ahem,'' we both turn around to look at Christian. He's leaning against the door frame, but he doesn't have an angry look on him. He looks amused, and a little smile is pulling at the corners of his mouth. ''Are you two done, talking about me?'' he asks, taking his plate over to the sink. ''We apparently have a store to go to.'' He says with an apologetic smile at me.

I look around and see that Gail has left the kitchen. ''It's okay, we're getting to know each other, right?'' I ask, and he nods ''there are bound to be arguments over the next 6 months.'' I walk over to him, and pat him on his arm, ''let's be friends at least. If you have a problem with something or anything you need to tell me. We'll get through these months together.''

''Okay,'' he says ''I'm gonna take a shower. We'll leave in about an hour, is that good?'' I nod, and he smiles. ''We have 6 hours until the dinner, so we have plenty of time.'' He starts to walk out of the room, but turn around to say ''don't stress about it.''


	14. Chapter 14

**ANA**

''Breathe Ana, you look amazing,'' Christian says while rubbing my knuckles with his thumb. We're only a few minutes from Christian's parents' house, and I am really nervous.

We went shopping for a dress this afternoon, which went really well. He sat there and looked at all the dresses I tried on, and gave me his honest opinion, although we did fight over who would pay for the dress, but eventually I won and I bought it for myself.

''Okay,'' I nod at Christian letting out a large sigh. ''It's not too much?'' I ask looking down at the dress I chose. I'm wearing a mid-thigh burgundy colored dress, with a black belt around my waist. I want to impress them, but not too much. I don't like that they think of me as a gold digger, when I'm anything but that.

''No, you look beautiful,'' he says with a warm smile. ''You look good in that color,'' he says turning his head to look out the window, but not before I see a smirk on his face. Why is he smirking? Doesn't he like it? Does he think that I will make a fool out of myself? That stupid smirk, just made me more nervous. ''We're here,'' Christian announces, and I realize that the car's not moving anymore.

I lean over Christian to look out the window. I look up at a big house that Christian grew up in. I look back at Christian when I feel him squeeze my waist, we're face to face and he asks me if I'm ready. With a smile I nod, and Christian get's out of the car first, then holds out his hand for me to take. We walk hand in hand up the steps to the door, and I feel sick. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all. The last time they saw me, their son had his tongue down my throat, in order to prove that he's straight.

''It's okay,'' he says and reaches for the doorknob, when the door slams open and a girl around my age squeals.

''Oh my god, oh my god'' she says and throws her arms around Christian in a hug. ''Is this her?'' she 'whispers' in his ear, clearly loud enough for me to hear, and Christian answers her with a nod. ''Oh my god, Ana so good to meet you'' she says and I exchange my hand to her, but she ignores it and goes in for a hug. I look over at Christian with wide eyes, and he tries to hold back laughter.

''Mia, let her breathe'' Christian says and she let's go of me. She has a huge smile on her face and looks really excited. ''Shall we?'' Christian asks, motioning us inside. We all walk in and I'm even more stunned at how beautiful it looks inside. It doesn't look like I imagined it would at all. It is huge of course, but it's very homey and warm, nothing like Christian's place. ''You okay?''

''Yes,'' I say still looking around, ''is that you?'' I ask as I walk over to the pictures on the wall. There are so many of Mia as a little girl, a few of all 3 children together, many of Elliot, but not that many with only Christian in them. And in most of the pictures he doesn't smile the way I always see him when he smiles. My heart aches for him, when I see how unhappy he seems. ''How old were you there?'' I ask and point to a pictures where he's shirtless in the garden, chasing after Mia.

''15,'' he answers. All the pictures from that age and up over; his smile vanishes more and more until it is almost non-existent. ''Come,'' he says and leads me into the dining room. ''Mother,'' he says and Grace turns around, and smiles at Christian. To my surprise she doesn't give me a scolding look. Christian walks over to his mother and kisses her on her cheek, ''you remember Anastasia,'' he motions over to me.

''Of course I do,'' she says. Her voice is still formal, but a lot warmer than it's ever been before. ''How're you doing?''

''I'm good, thanks for asking'' I smile at her ''and you?'' She seems surprised by my answer, but returns my smile.

''I'm doing well, excuse me'' she says and walks in to what I'm guessing is the kitchen. Christian wraps his arms around my waist and leads me over to the dining table, and pulls out the chair for me.

''Thank you,'' I say as I sit down. ''That went really well,'' I say and turn my head towards Christian.

''It did, she's probably coming around.'' He says with a frown.

* * *

**CHRISTIAN**

So far things have gone extremely well, Ana seems calmer now. Elliot and Kate arrived shortly after we did, and all throughout dinner there was small talk. Both my parents included Ana in the different subjects that were going around the table. Both Ana and Kate were asked a lot of questions about their education and their friendship. I think the one comment that Kate made was what ultimately won my mom over.

''_Ana is like a sister for me; I don't know what I would've done without her. I changed for the better when I met her, and your son is really lucky to be married to such an amazing person.'' _

Before now, I didn't realize how much my mom's approval meant for me. When Ana's father approved of me, I had this feeling, and I hope Ana feels the same way right now. My father has been on his best behavior, but I think the whole prenup thing is still bothering him. I know what kind of person Ana is, and of course when we get the divorce I won't leave her on her own. I will have someone tailing after her, making sure that everything is fine with her. And she will get enough money to live the happy life that she deserves.

All I want is for her to be happy.

I am shocked by my own words. But I know that if after our divorce is finalized, she ended up on the streets, I would be… I don't know what I would be, but I loathe the thought of it. ''Christian, are you coming?'' Ana's voice breaks me out of my thoughts.

''Huh?'' I ask, when I see that everyone, but Ana, has left the dining room.

''We're having coffee in the living room,'' she says and waits for me to join her. I walk up beside her and out of instinct, I wrap my arm around her waist.

''You're doing really well,'' I whisper into her ear, and I can see the smile creeping onto her face.

''Yea, I feel like maybe I have them now,'' she giggles ''I like them, they're very nice.'' We enter the living room, and everyone is looking at us, clearly waiting for something. I just kiss the side of Ana's head and we sit down on the couch. Mom's eyes linger on us, as the rest of the people start eating the dessert. I look up at her, and she smiles softly at me. She motions her head a bit towards the door. I pat Ana on her thigh, before getting up and leaving the room. Only seconds later, my mom joins me.

''Are you happy?'' She asks, ''all I need to know is if my baby boy is happy'' she says teary eyed.

''Yes mom, Ana makes me happy'' I whisper, afraid of how true these words actually are.

''You seem different now, more… alive. It has killed me seeing you unhappy all this years Christian, and now you're finally smiling.'' She stands on her tiptoes and traces my mouth with her finger, ''you have the most lovely smile, Christian'' she says as a tear rolls down her cheek.

''Thank you, mom, I'm glad you're finally seeing how amazing she is'' I whisper. I lean in to hug her, and I can see the surprised expression on her face. I wrap my arms around her, and she lets her arms hang loose, so she doesn't touch me anywhere she knows I don't like.

''You're happy, she makes you happy, that means she makes me happy'' she says kissing my cheek as she walks past me and into the living room again.

* * *

**ANA**

Now it feels stupid thinking of how scared I was. Honestly, I was seconds away from asking Taylor to turn the car around. After Grace returned from wherever she and Christian went off to, she asked to speak with me for a second. I followed after her into the hall, and a little part of me was afraid that she would ask me to leave. But instead she enfolded me into a big hug, and whispers ''thank you'' over and over again to me.

She apologized for the way she behaved when she first met me, and explained why she acted that way. I can understand why she acted the way she did, she's just worried about her son, and they were right; Christian is walking into this 'marriage' with over 11 billion dollars, and I have nearly nothing.

I told her that it was okay, and I also talked about my hopes in getting a job soon and that I have a few interviews coming up. She seemed pleased by that, and gave me another hug telling me good luck. I had no idea how long we stood there talking before both Christian and Carrick came looking for us.

All in all, this has been a really good day. Better than I thought it would be, I was ready to just give up on the Grey's after today, if I wasn't able to win them over. But I'm glad that I did, they are great people. Mia was really sweet and friendly, but she was all over Christian and I's story. All Christian answered with was that it was our private story, and she found that really romantic.

I felt relived every time the attention was on Kate and Elliot; it was nerve-wrecking to sit there waiting for their questions. Elliot has decided to join Kate and her family's vacation, and the beam of Kate's face as he said it was giant. She really loves him, and I'm glad for her. Kate and Elliot left earlier than we did and we all knew why. The entire dinner, Elliot and Kate hadn't been able to keep their hands off each other, so they were clearly impatient to get alone. I can't wait until I have those kinds of feeling and interactions with the man I love, when I eventually meet him.

I lay back in my bed with a sigh and then I smile when I hear a knock on the door. I put on my robe and answer the door, and Christian is standing there in only his pajama bottoms again. I can't help but let my eyes drift downwards to his chest. ''Couldn't sleep?'' I ask, as I look up at him and he has an unreadable expression on his face.

''Haven't tried yet,'' he says shifting his weight on his left feet, standing with his hip into the doorway. ''I'm leaving early tomorrow,'' he says looking down at the floor. ''Sawyer is here, and ready to take you where ever you wish to go.'' He looks someplace behind me, but never meeting my eyes, why won't he look at me? ''You can always call me, if I'm not answering my phone my personal assistant can find me if it's important…'' He shifts his stare to my breast before quickly looking away again. ''Remember your uh… appointment tomorrow, Sawyer will take you. Ehm… uhm… good night'' he says before walking away.

''Good night'' I call after him, but he doesn't turn around. I walk into my bathroom and its then that I first notice that my robe is wide open at the top and most of my bra is sticking out and my nipples are visible. I blush from embarrassment, as I walk back to my bed. I lie down and fall asleep almost before my head met my pillow.


	15. Chapter 15

**ANA**

8, that's the number of how many disagreements Sawyer and I have had so far today. I think I've told him a hundred times, to call me Ana and not Mrs. Grey or Ma'am. And then he tried to take another elevator down to the parking garage, since the security guys apparently have their own elevator, so after we argued for 10 minutes, we both just went down in the service elevator. He also tried to make me sit in the back of the car when I wanted to sit in the front, in order to get get to know him a little bit.

Getting Sawyer to warm up, and be on a friendlier note with me will definitely be hard, but I'm not giving up. It went well with Gail. I don't see Taylor that often and I never have a chance to have a conversation with him, so he and I haven't really had a chance to be friends. I have seen a few other security guys walking around here and there in the apartment, but none of them have looked at me or anything, so I'm not going to try with them. But if I understood Christian correctly, I will see Sawyer more than anyone else. So I need us to at least be friendly.

This morning I felt more comfortable knowing that Gail was waiting on me with breakfast, and that I had someone to talk to. I knew Christian was probably already at work, so having Gail there really helped. Then when we were cleaning up after breakfast, Sawyer alerted me about my appointment, and now we're in the car on the way to the psychiatrist who I'm meeting with.

I think talking with someone might actually help, because right now I have no one to talk to. I can't talk to Kate, because she thinks that this is real, that we are trying for real to be married, whilst the truth is, we're trying to get through 6 months together without anyone noticing the fakeness of the marriage. I think Gail knows about the marriage being a mistake, but she's hired by Christian, and I don't feel comfortable talking with her about it. So I'm going to use this psychiatrist when this situation gets to be too much and I need someone to talk to.

''So,'' I say turning towards Sawyer, he grips the wheel and looks uncomfortable. ''Do you know where we are going?'' I ask, and the grip he had on the wheel loosens.

''Yes… Ana'' he says. ''I'll call you by your first name if Mr. Grey doesn't mind.''

''Oh he does,'' I say and his right grip is back. ''Would you relax? How are you supposed to protect me if we are strangers and uncomfortable with each other?'' I ask, and he only looks forward at the road. ''I will ask Christian for a new security… man, if you don't cooperate with me here. All I want is for us to be friends, I need a friend.'' I whine and he looks over at me with a sympathetic look, before looking at the road again.

''I can be that, Ana'' he says and I see a little smile at the corner of his mouth. I sit back in my seat with a smile on my face, mission accomplished.

The car slows down, and I see a huge glass building in front of us. ''Do you know where the shrink is? I forgot to ask Christian'' I ask, and he nods. He parks the car and then quickly leaves the car in order to open my door before I had a chance to open it myself. We walk over to the entrance and Sawyer enters a code for the to open the door. What's with all the secretiveness?

* * *

''Mrs. Grey, nice to meet you'' a woman in her thirties says to me. When Sawyer and I arrived at the right floor I was led right in here and immediately greeted by this lady. ''I'm Dr. Martin, please take a seat'' she says motioning over to a little cozy sitting area in the corner of her office.

''Just Ana'' I say as I take a seat in one of the chairs. ''Is it okay if I call you by your first name?'' I ask, sitting nervously on my hands, so she doesn't see me fidgeting.

''Of course, Ana, whatever makes you comfortable. I'm Rose, so you can call me that. Some people call me only Martin, or Doctor, sometimes Doc and a few are more comfortable with just saying 'you' so it's up to you whatever you want to call me'' she says with a smile, and I already like her. She picks up the notebook that's lying on the table in front of her, and looks up at me with a warm smile. ''I know about your situation, so that's out of the way but I would like to know a bit more about you, who is Ana.''

''Ehm… I'm… me'' I say while nervously rubbing my hands in front of me. ''I'm nothing special, I'm just me'' I say looking down in my lap.

''I find that hard to believe'' she says and cocks her head a little to the side. ''What do you like? What makes you happy?''

''Books, I love reading and I do spend a lot of time reading'' she smiles and looks down at her notebook in order to write down what I just said. ''I love spending time with my friends, not really doing anything but just relaxing together, and I love spending time with my dad. He's my hero'' I say with a big smile on my face.

''That all sounds nice,'' she says writing down. ''Your dad is your hero, you say'' she asks looking up at me ''can you elaborate on that a bit more? What makes him your hero, what has he done to deserve that title?''

''I don't want to talk about it… yet'' I say the words rushing out of my mouth, and not meeting her eyes.

''That's okay, we'll get back to that later.'' She smiles and writes down more. ''Would you say you and your dad is close?''

''Not as close as I wish we were, he lives in Montesano and I've been gone for 4 years in college, and now I'm here. But I'll visit him when I have the time'' I say.

''Your mother?''

''My mother and I, aren't close. Somewhere along the line we just lost each other, and we never tried getting together again… I don't know what to say'' I breath out, and I feel tears start to form in my eyes. She pushes over a box with Kleenex and I take one. ''My biological dad died the day after I was born, and she married my stepdad, my dad, 2 years later. She… was never happy, and she started cheating on him, I caught her a few times, and my dad caught her a few times. When they got a divorce, we moved. My mom was so mad at dad and just wanted away from him. She got married again and…''

''Take your time'' she says when I stop. ''You're doing great'' she smiles. ''So… your mother remarried again?''

''Yeah, I didn't react to the problems then, but now I do. It was only a few months after my parents' divorce'' I say drying a tear that rolled down my face. ''Ultimately, It didn't go well in Texas, and I moved back in with my dad.''

''Is that why he became your hero? Did he save you from something?'' I nod my head, and she narrows her eyes at me. ''Did your mom's husband number 3 do something inappropriate with you?'' I feel a new wave of tears starting to form in my eyes, and I hide my head in my hands. ''You don't want to talk about it, yet?'' She asks and I shake my head. I haven't told anyone what happened in Texas, not even my dad who came and got me out of there. And it's not easy to open up to a person you've only met 30 minutes ago, no matter if you know you can trust her or not. ''We'll get back to it when you're ready… So what are your plans for the next 6 months?''

''I am going to get a job,'' I say drying the last drops of my tears. ''And that's actually all I have planned. Before the marriage happened, I knew that was what I was going to do when I got to Seattle, but I guess some things will change and happen after awhile.''

''Okay, I just want us for today to forget about the marriage, today or at least now it doesn't exist. I'm talking to Anastasia Steele, can we do that?'' She asks, and I nod. ''Great, so… Do you want to find love?'' I nod, biting down on my lip while blushing. ''What do you look for in a man?''

I think about that for a moment, but every time I think of the "ideal" man, the person is always faceless except coppery hair and piercing grey eyes. ''I'm not searching for the looks, I'm looking for someone that makes me laugh, that wants to spend time with me and that I want to spend time with… That's all I care about.''

''Have there ever had a boyfriend in your life?'' She asks, and I shake my head. There have been a few boys that I've thought I had a crush on, but no one has ever taken a liking to me before. ''Haven't you been interested before, or…?'' I shake my head again. ''Okay,'' she says. ''Tell me more about the job you want.''

We stayed and talked for another half hour, before Sawyer came in and told us the time was up. We mostly just small talked. We talked about the editor job I want and about what I like to do when I'm with friends or when I'm with my dad. And never once, did she or I mention Christian. It felt good; to pretend for an hour that everything was back to normal. But it isn't, and it never will be.

* * *

''Hey Gail,'' I say as I walk into the kitchen, she turns around and gives me a huge smile. ''What are you making? It smells wonderful.''

''Just a few different dishes that I will freeze, so that Christian has something to eat when I'm not around,'' she says, going back to cutting up vegetables.

''Where do you live?'' I ask, because I feel like she's always here, ready for either me or Christian to ask for something.

''I live here week days, and on weekends I go to my apartment. Christian doesn't want me here on weekends, which is fine by me'' she says.

''Why doesn't he want you here?'' I whisper, walking over to the vegetables she's cut, and I steal one of the carrot bites. When she sees that I'm chewing, she swats me away with her hand. ''Why?'' I ask her again, after she doesn't answer the first time.

''Oh,'' she says likes she's reminded of something, ''that's not really my place to tell.'' I leave the kitchen to look for the library, and to let Gail be alone so she can concentrate on what she's making.

When Christian showed me around, I think he went left from the kitchen. Past my bedroom and into a corridor on the right, then there would be a door that led to the library. With the size of this apartment it really should be marked down, arrows on the ground leading towards different destination, or maybe a sign or two. I could definitely use those. The only route here I really know is from my room, to the kitchen and living room area.

I walk into the left corridor, and try to open the closest door to my right, but when I try to turn the knob, the door is locked. I try shaking it again, but it doesn't work. ''Can I help you, Ana?'' I freeze and turn around and see Sawyer standing at the entrance of the corridor.

''Jesus, you scared me'' I say and he gets a little smirk on his face, like he's pleased by it ''I'm looking for the library'' I say turning to look back at the door again. What's in there? This isn't the first time I've walked into the wrong room, but this is the first time I've come across a locked door. Most of the rooms are just guest rooms.

''This way'' he says motioning from the way we came in, ''you took the wrong turn'' he says. He walks in front of me, and turns around once to look at the door, before turning his attention back in front of him. Does everyone except me know what's in there? Is Christian doing something illegal? He doesn't strike me as that sort of guy. He helps third world countries and donates a lot of money each year to different organizations, I don't think such an honorable guy would do anything illegal. ''Here you go'' he says and opens the door for me.

''Thank you'' I smile at him, and he leaves me alone with all the books. I walk in and see that my books are lying in a box, next to one of the shelves. Christian told me to do with them as I pleased, and that I could rearrange the shelves, but I couldn't throw anything away. As if I would through away a book. For now my books can just lie there, I really want them in my room, close to me.

I turn my attention away from my books, and look at the shelves here, full of books. It's then that I first notice that all the books are first editions, like the books he sent me as an apology. That seems like a lifetime ago.

I take one of the books out of the shelf, and sit down in the comfy chair, by the window, and lose myself in the book.

I have no idea how long I've been sitting there, but I jump out of the chair when there's a loud knock on the door. Sawyer opens the door, and looks in ''Ana, dinners ready,'' he says and holds the door open for me. I mark the page in the book, with one of my bookmarks, and put it down on the chair.

''Is Christian back?'' I ask as we walk towards the kitchen. On the way over, we walk past the corridor with the locked door, and I can't help but look at the door. I wonder what's in there?

''No, he is still at work'' Sawyer says, and I look at my phone to see if I have any missed calls or texts, but there are none. ''He won't be joining you today'' he says and walks back into the security room.

I walk into the kitchen, and Gail has set out a plate of chicken and something else on the table for me. I sit down, and she also sits down this time, without me having to ask her. I sit and push my food around on the plate, and Gail worriedly looks over at me a few times.

* * *

''Wasn't it any good?'' She asks, as she clears our plates. Mine was barely touched.

''No, it was really good'' I say, the few bites I had tasted amazing ''I just wasn't that hungry'' I say and she nods.

I walk back into the library, and sit down again with the book. I actually feel a bit hurt, I remember Christian telling me how he would eat with me when he was home, but he could've called or something. Is that too much to ask for?

It's after 8pm when Christian walks into the library, in a suit with his briefcase in hand. ''Hi,'' he says setting the case down, and walking over to me. ''Are you sick?'' He asks, feeling my forehead and nose ''Gail said you didn't eat much.'' He sits down in the chair next to mine.

''I'm fine'' I say barely giving him any attention, still feeling a bit hurt after dinner.

''Okay,'' he sighs shrugging out of his jacket and laying down on the armrest. ''What's wrong?'' He asks as he loosens his tie. ''I've been in a long meeting all afternoon,'' he says when I doesn't answer him.

''You should've called'' I whisper, looking down at the book but I've completely forgotten where I was. ''You could've told me you wouldn't be home.''

He sighs and folds his hands in his lap. ''I'm sorry'' he says and I really want to roll my eyes, I'm really sick of him saying sorry all the time. ''But I didn't have any time, to do that.''

''What about Taylor? Couldn't he call? Someone could've made Sawyer tell me sooner than he did'' I close the book, and look at him. ''Just forget about it.''

''No, you're mad. We're not forgetting about this'' he says looking mad himself. ''I won't let this repeat itself, I promise.'' He stands up from the chair, and holds out his hand for me to take, but I only look questioningly at it, why would I take his hand? ''Have you been to your room yet, after you got home?" He asks and I shake my head. ''Good, come.''

I take his hand, and he interlocks our fingers together as he leads me to my room. Once again we walk past the locked door, but this time both of us look at the door. He turns his head again, and sees me looking. He tries to give me a reassuring smile, but it doesn't reach his eyes. We reach my door, and he motions for me to walk in.

''How?'' I ask, as I open the door and see all the furniture from IKEA that I wrote down on my list, placed around in the room. The room has its sleeping corner, where my bed is, and one corner is my desk, where I can work when I'm home, and I have one reading corner. They have placed the furniture around beautifully, and I don't think I could've done it better myself. I look down at the floor, where there are a few carpets, I didn't pick out any carpets when we were there, but I remember seeing them, so I know they're also from IKEA. I turn around and hug Christian ''thank you'' I whisper.

He is looking at the room, in shock. Maybe he couldn't believe what IKEA furniture could look like. ''You picked well,'' he says still holding me in a hug. I look up at him, and he looks down at me. His eyes look from my eyes, to my nose, and down to lips, before quickly looking up at my eyes again. If I tilt my head a little bit, my lips would be on his. He looks down at my mouth again, before letting me go from the hug. ''I should get something to eat,'' he says and starts to walk out, ''come'' he says to me. ''You should eat more.''

I walk reluctantly after him, but I suddenly feel happy and ready to eat. Plus now I can ask Christian about his day, and about his work, since I don't really know that much about it.


	16. Chapter 16

**CHRISTIAN**

Dinner with Ana last night was… something. No matter how hard I try, I can't figure that girl out. And I do feel bad for hurting her yesterday with not coming home, but I didn't think that it would be a big deal. I often don't come home until very late at night, but I've never had to tell anyone before, so I didn't even think to call and tell Ana.

At dinner though, I could barely eat, because I was too busy answering all her questions. I think she was actually interested in what I had to say, which I found flabbergasting. I find that many times when people ask me about what it is that I do as a CEO, they don't actually care, but Ana was listening intently, and I think that if she had a book next to her, she would've been taking notes. I found that I actually really enjoyed dinner last night; and I enjoyed answering her questions, because I could see she truly cared about what I was saying, which doesn't happen often.

Sighing, I roll out of bed and head for the playroom again. I've been in there every night since Ana moved in. Either late at night or very early in the morning, I find myself sneaking in there to lock the door and looking around some. I know I should tell Ana about my past, and I will tell her, when I'm ready. I've thought about what I would say many times, all the time in fact, and every time the outcome is different. I'm afraid that when I tell her she'll want to move out, and I don't want that. I enjoy having her here, and she makes me laugh.

I think training Ana to be a submissive would be quite an enjoyable task, but I don't think she would agree to it. I thought that when I first met her, which is the reason why I drafted the contract, but now that I know her I'm not that sure anymore. She's too stubborn, too… good. I never really got to know my submissives that well, because I didn't really care to, that's not what our contract was about. But from what I know about them, they could never compare to Ana. First of all, they were all 'yes sir' and 'no sir'. If I ask Ana a question then I will get her honest opinion, no matter how harsh it may be. And I love that about her.

I take the key out of my pocket and unlock the playroom door. As I go to turn the knob and walk in, I hear footsteps behind me and I turn to see Ana's doorknob turning. I quickly close the door, and just in time, as Ana walks out of her room.

''Morning,'' I say, and she jumps slightly and holds her hand to her chest. ''Sorry'' I say walking next to her ''you're up early.''

''Yeah,'' she breathes ''I have a couple interviews today, and I couldn't sleep anymore'' she looks back and frowns, and then she look at me. ''Did you come from…?''

''Oh, I needed some documents from one of the rooms'' I say and her eyes go directly to look my hands, which are empty. Shit! ''I need coffee'' I say walking ahead of her, trying to distract her. I walk down the stairs into the kitchen and head for the coffee machine, and busy myself with the paper, avoiding eye contact with Ana. I did not expect her to be awake this early, especially not if she has interviews. I would've thought that they were closer to noon, rather than 7 am.

She sits down beside me, but doesn't say anything. I sigh. I know I should just tell her now...No not now, I have to go to work and this will take time, which we don't have right now. ''Mrs. Jones, I'll buy something on the way to work, just give whatever you're making to Ana'' I say as I stand up from the chair. She turns around and looks surprised to see that Ana is sitting there. She gives me nod and I meet Taylor in the foyer and take the elevator down to the parking garage.

* * *

**ANA**

''Here you go Ana,'' Gail says placing Christian's plate of food in front of me. Its plain toast, scrambled egg and bacon. Gail makes a plate for herself, and joins me at the kitchen bar. ''I can make you something else if you don't want that Ana?'' Gail says when she notices me just staring down at my plate.

''No of course not, this is fine'' I say taking a bite. ''Gail can I ask you something?'' I know I probably shouldn't, but this curiosity is killing me. She nods her head, and looks at me questioningly. ''Well, it's about the locked room. You know the one a few doors from my room?'' I ask, and she nods but looks uneasy. ''What's in that room? Why is it locked?''

''Oh, uhm… I'm not sure'' she says taking a sip of her orange juice. ''It's nothing, just storage, I think.'' She gives me a weak smile, before starting to clear our plates. ''You have 2 interviews today, right?'' She asks, and I nod, still not satisfied with the answer I got. ''Tell me about them,'' she says sitting back down with a cup of coffee in her hands.

I tell her where the interviews are, who I'm meeting, what I'm planning to say, but she doesn't really look interested, rather she looks lost in her thoughts. But I just keep talking to fill the silence that would surround us if I didn't talk.

My first interview is at 10am, but it's the second interview that I am really nervous for. Seattle Independent Publishing is the smaller of the two publishing houses, and I would love to get the job there. Unlike Christian, I don't have a need for everything to be big, I like small, small is good. I like to think that because of the small size, the workplace will be like little community where everyone is friendly and knows everyone. That's what I want for my job, and at a small publishing company, I think that's possible.

After talking to Gail for over an hour, I walk into my room to figure out what I'm going to wear. I didn't want to do it, but I saw the perfect outfit for today in the clothes that Christian bought for me. So I walk into the closet and find everything I need, and promise myself that this is just a onetime occurrence, and just to make sure that this is a onetime thing, I will ask Christian to get rid of the new wardrobe. I do understand that he only wants to be nice, and I appreciate it, but I want him to talk to me about stuff like this, I don't like surprises.

My first interview went really well, it was for a larger company that has offices based throughout the United States. I would be one of many editorial assistants there, and I'm afraid I would just disappear into the crowd of workers at that publishing company. SIP is where I want to be, and I like that they're championing local authors, and they have an interesting and quirky roster of clients.

* * *

I'm sitting in the waiting room, and I feel more nervous now than I did at the other company. The girl behind the reception looks up at me a few times, and gives me a reassuring smile before looking back down at her computer.

''Ana Steele?'' A woman with long black hair standing at the reception desk is looking questioningly at me. She looks to be in her late thirties, or maybe forties.

''Yes,'' I reply and stand up to shake her hand. She gives me a polite smile and introduces herself as Elizabeth Morgan, head of Human Resources. She then leads me towards her office, where I notice a man sitting in one of the chairs. When we enter the office, he stands up and shakes my hand.

''Ana, I'm Jack Hyde, the acquisitions editor here at SIP, and I'm very pleased to meet you,'' he says with an unreadable, but friendly expression. We all sit down, and they both start asking questions. They ask many of the same questions as I got earlier today with the other publishing house, but I feel more determined this time around on my answers. Mr. Hyde gave me a few weird looks and I got a strange vibe around him that I can't explain. And some of his word choices when talking to me were just odd, and maybe even a bit inappropriate.

When the meeting was over, I met with Sawyer outside and we walked over to the car. I feel good about this interview and I think it went really well, so now I just have to cross my fingers and hope for the best.

I look down at my watch and see that it's almost 2pm, I was in there for nearly an hour and a half, I don't know if that's a good thing or bad thing, but at the other company I was only there for about 40 minutes.

As we drive back to Escala, Sawyer asks me how it went. It was nice having a conversation with him that I didn't have to start. We talked a few minutes about my interviews, and then we went on to a completely new subject. I asked him about his family and friends, and he asked the same about me. It was nice. I feel like Sawyer and I could definitely be friends. He also apologized for the way he acted yesterday and said this was all new to him.

* * *

I walk into my bathroom, and took off the clothes I've been wearing all day, in favor of being more comfortable. I'll definitely keep this outfit though, because I liked the way it looked at me. It hugged my body in the right places; whoever bought it did a really good job. I find a pair of sweat pants, and put them on while pulling my hair up into a loose bun and then walk out of my room.

As I walk past the locked door, I notice that it's not completely closed. I know I probably shouldn't, but I walk towards the door and push it open and then quickly walk inside and close the door behind me. The first thing I notice is the weird smell. It's like a mixture of citrus and leather. The room is too dark to see anything, so I feel along the wall to find the light switch. After look for a little while longer, I find it and flick the switch so the light turns on. Then I turn around to see what's in this mysterious room.

_Oh my god._

Almost everything in here is a dark shade of red or a dark burgundy, and the floor is wood. As I walk deeper into the room, my eyes scan around before they land on a large wooden cross, like an X fastened to the wall that is facing the door. It is made of mahogany, just like everything else in this room.

I make a 360 and take in all the ropes, chains, paddles, whips, riding crops, and some feathery implements. I walk over to the mahogany drawers and as I put my hand out to open it, I stop… _Do I really want to know what's in there? _I turn away from the drawers, and see a leather bench sitting in the corner of the room, and beside it is there is an open drawer, which appears to be holding something that looks like wooden canes. I then turn my attention to the bed covered in red leather and red cushions piled at the end.

I then notice a manila envelope sitting on the middle of the bed. I sit down on the bed and reach for the envelope. I feel bad for looking at this, for even being in here, but _holy fuck! _I can clearly see that this is some sort of sex room, but what is all of this? Why didn't he tell me? I open the envelope and take a quick glance at the document in my hands, but look away because this is not meant for me. But I quickly look back when it registered in my mind that I saw my name on this document.

I quickly read through it, and get the gist of what it is saying. It's some sort of contract between me and Christian, where it states that he's a dominant, and I'm a submissive… _what does that even mean? _I read through all the fundamental terms, and what roles we're supposed to have towards each other. I turn page, after page, shocked at what I am seeing. I reach the page that says what is expected of the submissive, when the door opens.

''Ana.''


	17. Chapter 17

**ANA**

''Ana,'' I am startled when I hear my name being whispered. My heart stops, and I drop the papers on the floor and quickly jump to my feet, as I turn and take in Christian's unreadable expression.

''What. The. Fuck, are you doing here?'' He asks angrily, and I can't even get any words out. We stand there staring at each other for a while, while I try to find my voice.

''What,'' I squeak ''is this?'' I ask while I motion around Christian's crazy sex room. He takes a step forward, and on instinct I take a step back. For every step he takes closer to me, I take another step backwards, until I accidentally hit one of the shelves and all of the contents scatter onto the floor. He squats down, and picks up the papers for the weird sex contract from the floor, his eyes still on mine. He puts the document back on the bed, and takes one more step towards me, but this time I can't take another one back.

''Don't be afraid, Ana'' he says holding both his hands up in front of him so as to appear less threatening, ''I'm not gonna hurt you.'' He continues to walk forward until he's right in front of me, and I feel my heart nearly beating out of my chest, and I notice that his breathing is shallow. ''Let me explain this,'' he says and holds out his hand for me to take, but I can' bring myself to hold his hand. I just stare down at his hand, until he finally drops it. I feel the need to get some distance between us. ''I planned on telling you, but just not like this'' he sighs, and starts to walk out of the room. He stops by the door, and waits for me to follow him out. I grab the document and as I exit the room, and he locks it behind me.

''What is this?'' I ask, holding up the sex contract thing, that contains both of our names. I start to look through the papers, and he tries to take them out of my hands, but I pull them away before he can reach them. ''It's mine, it has my name on it'' I spit out, feeling braver out here, than I did in there. Although the look he gives me makes me shrink.

''I'll answer whatever questions you may have, but let's take this into the living room, rather than the hallway,'' he says and I nod in agreement. He starts towards the stairs and I watch him turn the corner and I stop. I stand still for a moment and inhale and exhale a few times to try and compose myself, before walking down the stairs to the living room. Christian is standing by the window looking out over Seattle with a glass of something that looks like scotch. ''What do you think you saw?'' he asks, not looking back at me.

''A torture sex chamber… I… I think you're a sadist'' I say without having to think over it. Does he let people do that to him, why would anyone accept someone doing that to them? He stands still for a moment, and I can see how tense he is. I walk over to the couch, and sit down.

''It's not what you think'' he says after downing his drink, and heading to the bar for a new one.

''So why don't you tell me what it is?'' I ask annoyed, but still cautious.

''Don't'' he says harshly looking back at me. ''I'm so mad at you right now, Anastasia, so _don't_ push me.'' I turn my gaze away from him and stare down at the floor, as he finds a new drink. A few seconds later he is sitting at the other end of the couch. ''You have no reason to be in there, so why the fuck were you?''

''I… it…'' I bow my head when words fail me, the fact that I was curious doesn't really seem like a good enough reason. And I had _nothing _to do in there, so it wasn't really accidental.

''Look at me,'' he says and by the coldness of his voice shocks me, I look up. He narrows his eyes at me, before shaking his head with a sigh ''don't look frightened, Anastasia, I'm not going to harm you, or whatever you're afraid I might do.'' He sets the glass on the table, and I nervously clench the document I have in my hands, as I look at him. ''I'm not a sadist, Anastasia'' I open my mouth to say something, but Christian shoots me an angry glare, so I quickly close it. ''I'm a dominant,'' he says, his eyes a scorching gray and incredibly intense.

''Wh… what does that mean?'' I whisper. He sighs and moves down the couch to get closer to me.

''It means that I like woman to surrender themselves to me, in all ways.'' He says, and images of different women being tied up in that red room flashes in my mind.

"So you do it to other, they don't do that to you?"

"Yes."

''Why would anyone want to do that?''

''To please me. I don't do anything they don't like or don't wanna do. It is consensual… Did you read parts of the contract?'' he asks, and I pull my feet under me on the sofa and nod. ''I have rules, and I want them to comply with those rules. I want _you_ to comply with them'' he says and my eyes go wide as I swallow loudly, and a ghost of a smile tugs at his lips. ''If the rules are followed to my satisfaction, I will reward you, if not, I shall punish you, and you _will_ learn to follow the rules.'' When I don't say anything, he continues to talk. ''It's ultimately about gaining trust and respect, those are important things in a BDSM relationship, Anastasia.''

''I don't understand,'' I whisper and he cocks his head to the side and frowns. ''Why would I, or anyone else, let you punish me? Harm me?''

''I would never inflict more than you could take, I would never harm you intentionally. I would only punish you if I had to, and yes, it would be painful, but how else are you supposed to learn? The contract is for us to be clear on what is acceptable and what is not, it's something we would have to discuss further for both of our safety.'' I don't like the way he says we, or you, like I am automatically going to be a part of this.

''How did you become like this?'' He thinks about it for a while, probably deciding whether or not he should tell me, but after a few minutes of deliberation, he leans back on the couch with a sigh.

''A friend of my mother's introduced me to the lifestyle.'' he lets out a low chuckle when he sees my surprised, and somewhat disgusted face. ''I don't discuss that with anyone, but since you asked, I felt that I should tell you.''

''How many have there been?'' I blurt out. I wonder how many women have let him take them up to that room, and let him do unthinkable things to –with– them?

''15.'' Wow. That's not as many as I thought, but still, that's quite a lot of women. It doesn't really feel good hearing the amount of women he's had, considering I have no experience and have only been with one man.

''And how did these contracts work? Did they all live here?'' I ask, and he nods. ''With you?''

''Not _with_ me, but they did have a room that they would stay in when they were here, from Friday until Sunday.'' He says, and I remember Gail telling me that Christian didn't want her to work on weekends, and now I understand why. He didn't want her around his sex slaves.

''Which room did they stay in then?''

''The room you're currently occupying'' he says and yet again my eyes widen in shock. My room? He placed me in the same room he placed all of these other women? His girlfriends? God only knows what kinds of STD's may lie in between those sheets. ''Ana?'' he says after I have been silent for a few minutes. I jump to my feet and start walking over to the stairs. ''Where are you going?''

''I don't want to stay in that room, Christian'' I say and I see him rush after me. ''I want to change rooms immediately'' he tugs on my elbow gently to stop me. ''Why would you put me in there?'' I ask in a half cry and half scream. ''Is that what you see me as? Am I just another one of your sex slaves? Christian, you should've told me all this, before I moved in with you!'' I shake him off me and start to walk up the stairs again. ''I don't want to sleep there anymore, I want to change rooms.''

''We can do that, of course we can do that Ana. But can we please finish this discussion first? We really need to finish it,'' he says and I nod as he leads me over to the kitchen bar. He walks over to the sink and returns with a glass of water that he hands me. ''Drink.''

''Do you want that with me?'' I ask, after taking a big gulp of the water.

''I did, and I still do in some ways'' I frown and he sighs before continuing. ''I had the contract drafted because I wanted that with you. It's the only relationships that I have. I had planned on talking to you about it, but then the whole marriage thing happened… I wanted that with you because I was attracted to you, and I thought that you would make a great sub, or at least that was the first impression you gave me… But that was before I knew how inexperienced you were, well, are. I didn't know you were a virgin, how the fuck, were you a virgin? You're beautiful, Ana, why haven't you done it before.'' I'm shocked at the turn of direction this conversation has gone in; I look down at my glass of water and blush.

''Were your girlfriends pretty?'' The second the question is out of my mouth he starts to pace and shoots me an irritated and annoyed glare.

''Subs, Ana. Not girlfriends.'' he asks sounding madder than he did before. ''And why the fuck do you care what they looked like? What's it to you? It's none of your damn business'' he says, while still glaring at me.

''Did they look like me'' I whisper, afraid of his answer.

After waiting for a while with no response, he sighs and whispers, ''yes.'' He finally looks at me when he hears my gasp, ''they were petite brunettes, just like you Ana.'' So that's the reason he wanted to spend time with me. It wasn't because he was interested in me, like I first thought; it was just because I looked like all his former subs, and he wanted to make me one. I feel sick.

''I… I…'' I say stumbling to my feet. ''I need some time alone, please. I need to think about… everything'' I say walking over to the stairs again, blinking away a few tears that are threatening to fall. ''I need Kate.''

''Okay, go visit her if that's what you need, Ana, but I need to remind you that you've signed an NDA, and you can't discuss this with anyone.'' I exhale slowly, grateful to him that he's at least not trying to make me stay. Not that he could've made me if he tried, but I don't want to anger him more. I nod at him and walk to my room to find my cell phone.

* * *

**CHRISTIAN**

The talk went better than I first thought that it would, but it wasn't supposed to happen like this. I was ready to tell her, but I wanted to do it my way. I thought about how to talk to her all day and I finally figured out how to do it without scaring her, then this shit happens. When I first saw her in my Playroom, she seemed shocked, scared, and hurt. I think that towards the end she may have looked less scared and hurt, maybe even a little curious about my lifestyle, but also rather angry.

She said she needed time, which I will gladly give her, as this information can be quite a shock. I do however wish that she didn't want to leave Escala in order to think. But I won't stop her from leaving, as if she would even let me suggest that.

I walk over to the couch to retrieve the contract, and walk into my home office to put it back in the drawer. I sit down in my chair, and exhale loudly. The shock I felt when I noticed where she was, god I never want to feel like that again. First, I knocked gently on her door to see if she was there, but it was empty. Then I walked to the library, but that was empty too. I panicked a little bit, but then figured that she was probably just in the bathroom.

All day I had worried about the playroom being unlocked. I had this feeling this morning when Taylor was driving me to GEH that I forgot to lock it, and it was nagging at me all day. So when I got home, I decided to check to see if I remembered to lock it. I gently turned the doorknob to find it unlock, then I opened the door even more and to my greatest surprise, saw that the lights were on, and Ana was sitting on the bad, with the manila envelope in her hands. My heart nearly stopped and I immediately felt sick. But the worst thing was the fact that when I approached her, she looked so scared and then tried to get away from me. When the shelf with all the whips on it fell and scattered all over the floor, it actually looked like she would cry.

I never want to see that look on Ana's face ever again. In that moment, all I wanted to do was take her into my arms, stroke her hair and whisper that everything will all be okay over and over again until she wasn't scared anymore.

* * *

**ANA**

''I'm all for getting manicure and pedicure with my best friend,'' Kate starts as we sit down in the chairs at the beauty salon. ''but you hate this stuff. I always have to drag you in here with me, why the sudden change?''

''Maybe I just want to spend time with you'' I say sweetly and grab one of the magazines to try and distract Kate from her inquisition.

''Mmmhmmm, yeah I don't believe you,'' she says narrowing her eyes at me ''but I'm not complaining.'' I let out a silent sigh of relief when she also picks up one of the magazines, and doesn't try to interrogate me further. ''What do you wanna do after this? Shopping?'' She asks, wishfully.

''We could do that,'' I say. ''But I want a hair cut first'' she nods and smiles at me, before looking back at the magazine. Kate's picked out a neon pink color for her toenails and a softer pink for her finger nails. I would never dare to pick such bold colors, so I end up with a soft beige color on my toes and a French manicure for my fingers.

It takes about 30 minutes before we're all finished, and we walk out of the salon as Kate keeps looking down at her hands, saying over and over again how pleased she is with the manicure, and that we should definitely go back there some time. ''Where, do you want to cut your hair?'' She asks, and I shrug. I don't know any places around here. ''I want to trim my hair, too. I know the perfect place.''

Kate drags me to this cute little hair dresser, at the corner of a few clothing stores. I'm surprised she picked this one, as we've walked past a few salons that looked really popular, which is where Kate normally likes to go. We walk in, and they have time for both of us, and we're led to a couple chairs in the back after only waiting a few minutes.

''What do you want?'' The lady asks, dragging her fingers through my hair and starts combing it.

'' I want a change… something new.''


	18. Chapter 18

**ANA**

''Anastasia, what did you do?'' I turn around to see a shocked Christian standing in the doorway to the hall. After a few hours out with Kate I return home a new person. We went shopping after we left the hair dresser, I loved that place and I think I'll definitely go back. Today was the first time ever I bought a completely new wardrobe without looking at the price tags. I know I'll pay for that later, but I needed a new image. And hopefully I'll have a job soon, so I can start paying off my student loans. ''Anastasia!'' Christian says louder this time to get my attention.

''Oh,'' I said touching my hair, running my fingers through it. ''I cut it,'' I say.

''I can see that… You're blond!'' he says after a beat, walking towards me. This time I stand my ground and don't back away, I'm tired of being poor little shy Ana, and maybe this new hair will make me feel a bit different. He stops right in front of me and touches my hair. ''It doesn't even reach your shoulders,'' he says wide eyed, I shrug and step out of his reach. We stay there staring at each other, ''you had such a beautiful hair'' he sighs and walks away.

That was weird; I stare at Christian's back as he returns to wherever he came from. I hear the sound of a door getting slammed shut and I jump slightly. I walk upstairs and head for my room, ready to grab my stuff out of there and transfer it into a new room. I pull as much of my hair as I can into a ponytail, which will definitely take some time getting used to, but I don't regret it. I open the door slowly, and I'm met with an empty room. All of my stuff isn't in the bedroom anymore. I continue my perusal of the room and then walk into the bathroom to find that all my stuff from in there is also gone. My final stop is in the walk in closet, and I again find that like everything else, it's empty.

As I start my walk back downstairs, I can't help myself, I stop outside the door. The door to the room that ruined everything, and I try to turn the doorknob, but of course it's locked. I start downstairs again, but on my way to Christian's office I run into Gail.

''Oh,'' she says in a shocked voice when she takes a look at me. ''I nearly didn't recognize you'' she says with a nervous laugh. ''It is so beautiful, Ana. That color really suits you,'' I smile at her as she touches my hair with one of her hands.

''Thank you… I need to find Christian'' I say as I look behind her.

''Of course, I have things to do as well. When do you want dinner, dear?''

''I ate out with Kate today, so I don't really need more food today, but thank you,'' she smiles and nods as she walks past me to continue with whatever she was doing. I walk over to Christian's office, but stop when I hear him scream to someone.

''Don't you dare, Elena!'' He shouts into what I am guessing is a phone, since I don't think there was anyone here when I got home, but I'm not exactly sure. There's silence for a little while and I gently knock on the door. When he doesn't answer the door, I slowly begin to open it. ''What?'' He snarls at me without looking up.

''Um,'' I say while awkwardly standing in the doorway, ''I'm sorry, I'll…'' I say when I notice his expression softening when he looks up at me. ''I'll just go, I didn't mean to interrupt anything.''

''Why?'' He asks as I turn around. When I turn back around, I see that he looks so sad and a little bit lost. He stands up and walks towards me, stopping right in front of me once again. ''Why would you do that to your hair, Ana?'' He runs his hands through it and a look of sadness, and maybe a little bit of disgust, appears on his beautiful face.

''I, uhm, well I…'' didn't want to look like your sex slaves, is what I really want to say. But, I don't want to admit _that_was the reason behind my new hairstyle. I should've changed the hair for me, not because of Christian or anyone else. Even though I don't regret changing it, I do regret the reason behind the change.

''I didn't want you to do that because of the subs,'' he says taking his hand back. He motions towards the seating area in his office and I follow him and sit down on the couch. We sit there awkwardly staring at each other for a little while, neither of us really knowing what to say or do.

''I won't be your submissive,'' I say when the silence eventually gets to be too much for me. ''It's not something I can do.''

''No it's not,'' he says and a ghost of a smile tugs at his lips, ''you have too many strong opinions, I admire that about you though.'' He says while giving me a full and adorable Christian Grey smile, and I can't help but to smile back at him. ''All your stuff is moved,'' he says folding his hands in his lap ''if you're not happy with the new guest room, we can always change it again.''

''Okay, thanks… I'm your wife'' I say suddenly and his eyebrows shoot up ''I want us to live here as equals, talk to each other, trust each other, and if you can't give me that, then these 5 and a half months won't work out for us.''

He nods at me and we go back to just looking at each other. Every few seconds, Christian get's this frown on his face, like he's trying really hard to work something out in his head. Christian raises his hand to my face and gently strokes my chin, and I immediately close my eyes, enjoying his hand on my face. I open my eyes and Christian is staring intensely at me, and starts to lean forward slowly and I find myself leaning towards him too. When we're only inches apart, he opens his lips slightly.

There's a loud knock on the door, and we both break apart before anything happens. Even though nothing happened, I can't stop blushing as Taylor appears in the doorway. ''Sorry, sir, but Mrs. Lincoln is on her way up.''

''Mother fucker,'' he mutters under breath. He stands up and before he leaves the room he turns around to me, ''please just stay here, I'll deal with this'' before he shuts the office door. I let out a shaky breath and lean back onto the couch.

I feel dirty, I was about to kiss my husband, and somehow I feel dirty. I want to kiss him; I want to kiss the Christian Grey that's a sweet man who I see glimpses of every now and then. Not Christian Grey the CEO billionaire or Christian Grey the Dominant. But, I'm afraid that the one I want doesn't come without the others. This will only be messier in the end if I let my lust for him take over, it's wrong and I know it.

I sit there alone in his office for awhile, making rules up in my head of what I'm allowed to do and what I'm not allowed to do when it comes to Christian, or my newly discovered horny needs. I never had them when I was a virgin, but now that I know what the big deal is about sex, I want it. And I only want it with one man.

* * *

When I get bored of just sitting in here, I stand up and leave the office, but am stopped in my tracks when I hear two angry voices. I try to get closer to the voices without being seen. I at first only hear a lot of mumbling, and I can't really make out the words, but then I clearly hear, ''Divorce her!'' I stay still and wait for Christian to say something to the angry woman yelling. Is she his former girlfriend or rather a former sub perhaps?

''All in good time, Elena now calm the fuck down'' he says harshly.

''Do you know what it did to me to hear from your mother that you had gotten married to some gold digging whore?''

''Don't you dare'' he says harshly, and no matter how mad he's been at me, he's never spoken to me in that voice. It makes me want to run and hide away from him. ''She's not what you think she is.''

''Oh my god!'' She whines, ''what has she done to you. Since when do you talk to me like this? Since when do you act like… like you're in love?'' She asks, and my heart stops.

''I'm not in love,'' he says ''but I will not have you talk bad about her'' he says and I sigh, feeling relived and hurt all at the same time. I walk forward a little bit, and the woman he was talking to sees me. All I can do now is continue walking forward as if I was already on my way to the area where they were fighting. I walk past them and head into the kitchen, I can still see them from this spot, but I think it is believable that I would be in here because I was thirsty.

I fill up my glass, and I feel both their eyes directed at me. I take a sip of water before turning around facing them. ''I'm sorry for interrupting, I was thirsty,'' I say while holding up my glass. Christian directs a nervous smile at me, and the woman, who I'm assuming is Elena, glares at me. ''Um, I'll just take it to my room,'' I start to walk up to my room when I remember that I don't know where it is. Not wanting to embarrass myself in front of her, I start walking towards Christian's room and then stop when I know I'm out of sight.

''She's blond,'' Elena says, much calmer now ''and she has short hair.''

''It's dyed'' Christian explain, ''but yes for the moment she's blonde, and she has short hair, and I think she looks lovely.'' At his words, I can't stop the smile spreading across my face.

''She doesn't look like you're usual type.''

''Maybe that's a good thing,'' he says.

''Ah, easier divorcing her?'' She asks.

''No that's not what I meant… Elena what are you even doing here, except threatening me?'' Threatening him? Did she threaten him? Why hasn't he kicked her out yet? I always thought Christian is one of those 'no bullshit' type of guys.

''That's the method that works best for you'' she purrs at him, ''do you remember that time we…'' When the realization on where this conversation was going and the realization as to whom this woman really is, I quickly walk away towards Christian bedroom.

That's the woman, his mom's friend, the one who seduced him and tricked him into that lifestyle. He wouldn't be in it if it wasn't for her. And he's still talking with her? Seeing her? Do they still have a sexual relationship? It seems like she has some sort of power over him, if she can threaten him without him going batshit crazy.

But why would he still be in contact with her? What she did to him was illegal, and wrong on so many levels, so why is he in contact with this Mrs. Robinson?


	19. Chapter 19

**CHRISTIAN**

When I'm finally able to get Elena to leave, I head to my room to find Ana. I saw that she struggled with where she was going to go, after getting a glass of water, as I never showed her where her new room is. So she headed for my room, and surprisingly, I don't care. When I walk past Taylor in the hall I shoot him an exasperated sigh and he chuckles.

As I push the door to my bedroom open, I see Ana lying on the covers, asleep. I smile at the sight of her, and then walk over and carefully take the covers out from underneath her and wrap it around her. She stirs slightly but doesn't wake up.

I walk into my closet and get a pair of pajama bottoms and then go into my bathroom to take a shower. The fact that Ana is lying sprawled across my bed isn't going to stop my nightly shower routine. I walk into the shower, and let out a sigh when the hot water hits my beck. Unashamedly, my hand goes straight to my erection, as I pump slowly up and down.

Before when I masturbated, it was always to images of women tied up in my playroom, and me doing different things to them. That was what always got me off, well before Ana. Now, every time, my mind wanders to Ana. I see the lazy satisfied smile on her face, as she lies beneath me. I feel her lips on mine; I really miss her lips on mine. I start stroking faster and faster, as pictures of Ana coming, swarm around in my head.

I let out a deep groan when I come, and I want so badly to say her name, but I don't. I can't take the risk that the shower didn't wake her up, for all I know she might be standing outside the door, listening.

* * *

As I emerge from the bathroom, in a pair of pajama bottoms while drying my hair with a towel, I see that Ana is still fast asleep. I throw the towel back into the bathroom, before closing the door. I walk over to the bed, and start to gently push Ana, so that she's only lying on one side of the bed, and not the whole bed.

I hover over her, and I can't help but lean in and press a gentle kiss to her lips. She lets out a soft sigh, but doesn't wake up. Leaning down once more, I kiss her again; I press down a little bit more this time, but am careful not to wake her up. As I lean back, I feel like such a creep. Soon I'll probably be lurking in the dark hoping to get a look at her naked. What's wrong with me? I feel so sexually frustrated, it's clearly making me insane.

Every time something has happened between us, sex, a kiss, or even a hug, she's freaked out; talking about what a mistake it was. I don't consider any of our kisses a mistake, or the times we've hugged or had sex. So I don't know why she thinks of them that way.

I roll over on my side of the bed, and lay there, watching her sleep. Her hair is tangled in every direction, and her mouth parted as she breaths in and out in heavy breaths. The shock and horror that went through me when I first saw her hair, is indescribable. I felt all these emotions; anger, sadness, disappointment, although a little part of me was happy. It made me glad that I could distance Ana from the subs, because her looks were so different, if that makes sense.

The first thing I compared Ana's hair to, was Elena. But after looking at her for a long time, and then seeing Elena, their hair can't even be compared. Elena is plain old platinum blonde. Ana's hair on the other side is interesting; it's a warm golden blonde color, with a hint of ginger in it. The color actually suits her, the length of her hair is what I have a problem with. I've always preferred long hair; I don't know why I just have.

I turn my back to Ana with a sigh, and fall asleep.

* * *

**ANA**

I wake up to the loudest alarm, known for mankind. With a grunt I sit up in bed and look for the source of the sound. I look around quickly, but I don't recognize the room, or furniture in here. I look over at the night stand where the alarm is blaring off, and see that it's only 6 am in the morning. I start to lean toward it, but stop when I get a sight of Christian stirring beside me. He rubs his eyes for a few seconds, looking confused and totally adorable.

No, Ana remember the rules, you made 2 good rules yesterday, now keep them! I sigh, and he immediately sits up and looks at me with a little smile tugging in the corner of his lips. ''Good morning, Anastasia'' he says stretching his arms, giving me a perfect view to his abs. ''Sleep well,'' he asks.

''I didn't mean to fall asleep,'' I murmur, I start to get out of bed when I see the clothes I wore yesterday in a pile on the chair beside the bed. I look down and see that I'm wearing Christian's t shirt, and under that only my panties. ''Where's my room?''

''I'll show you, just give me a few minutes to wake up'' he says lying back down. But he doesn't close his eyes, instead he lays there looking up at me.

''Why are you staring,'' I ask as I lay down beside him. He shrugs, but doesn't stop staring. ''So…'' I say feeling slightly uncomfortable, but I'm full of questions that I want answered. ''That was Mrs. Robinson'' I say more as a statement than a question, although it was meant to be a questions. He frowns at me, ''your moms friend? The one who seduced you?''

''Ah,'' he says with a humorous smile on his face ''hmmm I like that, Mrs. Robinson'' he says testing the name, he looks over at me and his smile fades as he sees that I'm not impressed. ''Yes, that was she.''

''You still have contact with her? After everything she's done to you?''

''Yes, we're friends'' he says matter of factly, and I snort.

''And you let her threaten you? You let her treat you poorly, for god knows how long when you were younger, and now you believe you're friends, when she's actually just manipulating you? Are you really that stupid?'' I ask and his face hardens.

''Don't speak of things you don't know, or understand, Anastasia'' he says harshly. ''But you heard that huh?''

''Yes, I heard that, then I left, when she tried to _seduce_ you again.''

''She likes to bring up old times,'' he says turning away so that he's staring at the ceiling. ''But we haven't had a sexual relationship for 6 years, so she wasn't trying to seduce me.''

''What was she threatening you about?''

''Divorcing you,'' he says and looks sideways at me to gauge my reaction. ''She claims she has videos of me, and she uses them to get her will, I don't believe that she has any videos but I'm not taking a chance on that one. I've been through her computers, but I can't find a trace of them, but she's a smart lady she may have other ways to hide them from me,'' he says with a sigh of frustration. ''She says she's going to release it, if I don't divorce you.''

''Why,'' I whisper hoarsely.

''She likes control, she has a need to have control over me, and I've let her all these years.'' He says sitting up, looking down at me. ''She's picked out subs for me, since our relationship ended. I always confide in her when it comes to certain things. But this'' he says motioning between us, ''is out of her control, she had nothing to do with it, and it pisses her off… So she demanded that I divorce you.''

''Are you'' I whisper again.

''I can't, remember?'' He says, giving me a weak smile. ''I'll give you a few minutes to get ready, then I'll show you to your room'' he says standing up and walks towards the bathroom. As soon as the door closes to the bathroom, I stand up and take of his shirt and quickly put mine on again.

He walks out a few minutes later, still only wearing his pajama pants. Was he just sitting in there, giving me time to get dressed? I can't help the smile that appears on my face, as I imagine Christian just sitting there waiting on the toilet lid.

''What're you smiling about?'' He asks, walking towards me.

''Nothing,'' I say as I turn around and walk for the door. As he gets near me, he tried to hold me around my waist, but I walk out of his grasp. ''Uh uh'' I say holding up my hands. ''I've made a couple of rules, and I'm not going to fail them on the first day.''

''Rules?'' he asks, looking confused. Then he just gets an annoyed look on his face, ''let's hear them, then.''

''Okay,'' I say as we stop in the hall way, I suddenly feel embarrassed by them. ''First, no kissing, hugging, sex or any physical contact'' I say and his eyebrows shoot up ''you aren't allowed within a 3 foot radius of me.'' I say while taking a step away from him. I don't think he finds this rule funny, he actually looks rather pissed.

''The next?''

''That's… ehm, personal'' I say blushing, since the next rule is to stop checking Christian out or lust after him, which I already have failed at today. ''It was actually only the first one, I want to keep this from getting messy Christian, so you're not allowed to touch me.'' He takes a few steps closer to me, and leans in so that we're nose to nose.

''Why can't I kiss you, princess?'' He asks, and my heart nearly stops. ''Shit, Ana'' he says but I can't look at him, everything is fading away around me. ''Are you okay?'' I can hear him calling for Taylor, and then I fall.

* * *

I hear a really annoying beeping sound. I open my eyes, but close them again quickly because of the bright light. I feel someone clutching my hand, and a voice saying. ''Ana, everything is fine, everything will be fine.'' I recognize Christian's voice, and it makes me feel safe, so I relax. I realize that the beeping sound is only in my head. ''Can you hear me Ana?'' he asks ''if you can, squeeze my hand'' I try my hardest to squeeze it, and he lets out a sigh ''thank god.''

''Lights'' I murmur, he let's go of my hands and then I see through my eyelids that the light is no longer as strong, so I open my eyes again. Christian sits back down beside me, and takes my hand in his. I look around, and I see that I'm back in Christian's bed.

''Hi,'' he says looking down at me. ''You scared me there,'' he says looking sadly at me. ''What happened?'' I shake my head not wanting to talk about it. ''Ana,'' he says leaning forward in the chair ''I didn't mean to get so close to you, I didn't know it would make you uncomfortable.'' He says with a sad and apologetic smile.

''No, it wasn't you'' I say hoarsely. Christian reaches for a glass of water on the night stand and gives it to me, ''thank you.'' I drink the whole glass before handing it back to him. ''It was what you called me,'' I say wanting him to understand that he didn't do anything wrong. ''It just took me by surprise.''

''Princess'' he whisper, and I flinch ''why would that upset you?'' I shake my head again, not ready to start talking about what happened in Texas before Ray got to me. ''Ana, when I met your father, he said something to me'' he says and my eyes widen in horror, did he tell Christian about Stephen, thinking he knew about it? ''He said that you didn't have it easy growing up, and that you've been through enough pain. What did he mean by that?'' When I doesn't answer he sighs, ''take your time Ana, but please tell me,'' he pleads.

''The last man who called me that,'' I say not looking at him ''didn't treat me well,'' I whisper and I already feel tears start to form in my eyes. I hate talking about this, and I hate thinking about it, thinking that he may be doing that to others. I feel Christian's thumb under my eye, and I realize that he's drying away my tears.

He stands up and walks over to the other side of the bed. He sits down and lifts me so that I'm sitting between his legs on the bed, and I rest my head on his shoulder, as he holds me tight. ''Tell me what happened, baby'' he whisper soothingly.

''The last time I saw him'' I say as I try to stay calm ''he had ripped of my shirt, and pinned me to the floor while he was undoing his pants.'' I feel Christian tense behind me, as he hold onto me tighter.

''Did, he rape you'' he asks through gritted teeth.

I shake my head ''no, that was the first time things went that far'' I say as a sob escapes my mouth. ''My dad came, he came just in time'' I say as new tears starts to stream down my face.

''Who was he?''

''My mom's third husband'' I say and he tenses even more ''his name was Stephen Morton.''

I can hear Christian hiss something through his clenched teeth, but I don't hear what. ''What did he do to you?'' he whispers, starting to stroke up and down my arms in a soothing way.

''Their marriage started of fine, I guess. My mom seemed happy, which made me happy. I knew she had cheated on Ray, since I caught her a couple times. I didn't believe their marriage would last, and early on I was prepared to move again, when she got bored with him… After a few weeks, I understood that he had a bad temper, and that it didn't take much for him to lash out, and when he got angry, he would hit my mother.'' I wipe away new tears, as I remember back to that short period of my life when I lived in Texas.

''My mom went away on a business meeting, I think she just wanted to get away from him, but she left me there all alone with him'' I say, and once again Christian tenses up. ''I tried to stay in my room, I didn't want to be near him, I was so scared of him… He had been drinking'' I say after a few inhales and exhales, and I feel Christian kiss the back top of my head. ''He came into my room, and sat down on my bed. I was laying there under the covers in my pajamas, trying to sleep… H-he leaned down and kissed my cheek, telling me that I was the prettiest princess he had ever seen. Then he left.

''He kept calling me that for a week, that's how long my mom was gone. But he didn't do anything to me while my mother was gone, so I was less and less scared of him. Then one night he knocked on my door, telling me how much he missed his princess, that he needed me to make him feel good.'' I shake my head, to clear it. ''I'm so stupid,'' I cry ''I was 16 for crying out loud, I knew better, I knew what was happening and I was old enough to get help. But I didn't.''

''None of this is your fault Ana'' Christian whisper in my hair, not stopping the comforting stroking of my arm. ''You were scared, you didn't know who you could talk to, that's understandable. _He_ is the one to blame here, _he_ knew better, yet _he_ wanted to do horrible stuff to you.''

''I know,'' I say drying more tears ''but I just wish I did something… The day after he made me'' I say taking in a deep breath, before slowly letting out. ''The day after he made me touch him, I tried to stay farther and farther away from him. I stayed as late as I could at school, before I walked home, which took over an hour, but it only made him angrier, that I wasn't around more. Every night for 2 weeks he came in and undid his pants, and made me do things to him that I didn't want to do. And then when he was satisfied, he would start touching me, mostly my breasts.''

I let out a humorless laugh ''he told me I should find myself a rich husband, so that he could pay me for a pair of real boobs.'' Christian's hold on me tightens even more. But I don't feel scared, I feel safe in his arms. ''I called Ray, and begged him to take me home, I didn't tell him what had happened, but it was like he knew, like he could hear it in my voice. Then a week later, I was back in Montesano.''

''God baby'' Christian breaths out, he lifts me up so that I can turn around, and he crushes me to his chest as he hugs me tightly. He leans back to look at me, and I can see that he also has tears formed in his eyes. Christian starts to open his mouth to say something, but I lean forward and peck his lips, and then I lean back biting my lip. He looks in my eyes, shocked, before he leans forward and gives me another peck, and then he looks in my eyes to see my reaction. He slowly leans forward and gives me another peck, and then another peck.

Then he takes my face in his hands, and crushes his lips to mine, as he slowly and gently kisses me. I try licking his bottom lip for entrance to his mouth, but he doesn't open it. Instead he continues to kiss my lips gently and look into my eyes.


	20. Chapter 20

**I KNOW MANY OF YOU WISHES FOR LONGER CHAPTERS, AND I WISH I COULD GIVE YOU THAT, I REALLY DO. BUT I WILL NOT FILL IN A PAGE WITH RUBBISH JUST BECAUSE YOU GUYS WANT LONGER CHAPTERS. I HATE WHEN OTHER WRITERS DOES THAT, SO I'M NOT DOING IT. SORRY.**

* * *

**CHRISTIAN**

''Grey'' I snap at my phone, after I grab it from the nightstand.

''Hi, it's me'' I let out a groan ''yeah, yeah, love you too bro, thanks. Anyway, you know how I'm joining Kate and her family on their vacation in Barbados? Well, I am planning on getting her to stay there a little longer, after her family leaves, so we can-''

''I get the picture,'' I say.

''But Kate would really miss Ana if we are gone for so long, so, I was wondering if you would mind coming to my place Friday? Maybe stay to Saturday, letting the girls say a proper goodbye and all that.'' I look down at Ana who is asleep on my chest, and my fingers are stroking patterns on her back.

''I would have to ask her, but I'm not sure about staying the night. I'll talk to her though.''

''Is she there? Maybe _I_ can persuade her,'' he says with a chuckle and a teasing voice.

''She's asleep, she didn't feel well and I'm not waking her up. But I'll talk to her. Was there anything else Elliot?'' I ask, he says no and I hang up, laying my phone back down on the nightstand. I lie back on my pillow and continue watching Ana sleep; she looks so peaceful right now. I love watching her like this.

As soon as Ana fell asleep, I sent an email to Welch asking for a background check on Stephen Morton. There's no way I'm letting him off the hook on this one, no one treats my Ana like that and gets away with it. If I could, I would leave right this moment to track him down and kill him. But it's not that easy. I need to approach this carefully, and without letting Ana in on what's going on.

First I will look through the background check I'm expecting. I will look through his records and see what he's been up to the past 5 years. Then, I'll have a private investigator to follow him for a couple months, documenting the stuff he does and people he sees. If he's done this to Ana, in all likelihood, he's probably done it towards someone else, it's a psychopathic pattern. I'm sure after some investigation we can find something to get him locked away for, and if not, he'll never see the sun rise ever again.

Ana shifts on me, clutching her hand around my waist and with a sigh her breathing evens out again. I lean down and kiss the top of her head, letting my lips linger there. I love that she wanted to deepen our kiss earlier, but I couldn't do that to her; not after everything she just told me. I didn't want her to think that I took advantage of her in her moment of weakness. Plus I was burning with anger and if I had started to kiss her, at least the way I wanted to kiss her, I'm not sure if I would have been able to stop.

When she fainted in my arms, I had no idea it was because of what I had called her. I was so afraid that it was my closeness that did that to her, that she really didn't like having me that close to her, that she was in fact disgusted with me after everything she learned. I had no idea that when she woke up, she would share that horrific story with me. When her father told me she had it bad enough as it is, I thought that maybe she had been bullied in school or something, but absolutely nothing like the sick things that actually happened to her.

Ana starts to stir again, and her gorgeous blue eyes begin to blink, adjusting to the light in the room, and I can't help but smile down at her as she looks up at me. ''Sleep well?''

''Did you watch me sleep?'' She asks, returning my smile. I nod my head as I lean down to kiss her head again. ''Do I snore?''

With a laugh, I shake my head ''no, but you do make adorable grunts and soft sighs.'' She blushes and hides her head in the t shirt I'm wearing. ''You okay?'' I ask, as I lift her chin to look at her. She nods but smiles sadly.

''Can I ask you something?''

''Of course, anything'' I say and my fingers goes back to stroking her back up and down.

''When did you get into that lifestyle?'' She asks, biting her lip. With a sigh I answer her question.

''I was 15 when it started,'' her head shoots up and she looks at me with wide eyes filled with horror, her mouthing agape as tears start to glistening in her eyes.

''That's… illegal, what a pedophilic monster–''

''Stop Ana, it wasn't like that.''

''Did you lose your virginity to her?'' She asks, and I nod ''was she at least… gentle?'' I give her humorless smile as I shake my head. ''She's just like him, and you're still 'friends' with her, why would you do that?''

''No, that's where you are wrong Ana. What happened to you was not consensual, what Elena and I did was, I had agreed to it all.''

''You were 15, Christian! You couldn't… you weren't… she's an adult who took advantage of a young boy. Does your mother know?''

''Of course not! Ana… let's not talk about this right now, you should eat something.'' I say trying to change the subject, but also because she needs to eat. It's nearly noon and we haven't even had breakfast.

''I don't ever want to see that woman ever again Christian. I realize that she may still be a part of your life, although I don't like it, I want to have nothing to do with her. Keep that woman away from me.'' She says sitting up looking intensely into my eyes, and I can see that she's absolutely serious. I look sadly into her eyes, as I stroke her cheek lightly.

''She's a family friend, I can't promise you that you won't ever see her.''

''You should tell your mom, she deserves to know what the woman, who she believes is her friend, did to her son. It's disgusting'' she says and gets out of the bed to walk into the bathroom.

* * *

**ANA**

I walk into Christian's bathroom, without really having to go to the bathroom, but I needed to get away and think for a little while. I don't understand. I really don't understand how he can think and feel that this _Elena, _is a good human being, that they' are honestly friends.

She's a grown woman who seduced and repeatedly slept with a 15 year old boy. She's a pedophile, plain and simple. Why doesn't he see it? I wonder what lies she has told him to make him believe that it was okay for them to do that. What sort of lies is his head filled with because of her?

''Ana?''Christian says as he softly knocks on the door to the bathroom, and then soon after his head appears in the doorway. ''Everything okay?'' I nod my head, and start to walk past him when he wraps his arms around my waist, putting his finger under my chin and lifting it up. ''What's wrong?'' he asks holding my chin is place, looking with concern at me.

''It doesn't matter what I say to you, she'll just tell you the opposite. You won't listen to me,'' I say trying to get out of his grip, but he holds me tight.

''That's not true, I listen to you Ana.''

''You don't!'' He let's go of my waist and I walk out of his room. I go towards the kitchen, where I see that the kitchen isle full of food. I don't see Gail anywhere, and when I turn around I see Christian walking towards me. He keeps his eyes on mine as he sits down and starts putting food on a plate.

I sit down too and then start making my tea the way I like it. When the plate he's preparing is full of food, he hands it over to me. ''You didn't eat breakfast yet, eat.'' I take the plate from him and start eating.

''Tell me'' I say looking at him, and his eyebrows shoot up as he gives me a questioningly look. ''You said I shouldn't talk about stuff I don't know, or understand. Make me understand, then I will give you my honest opinion on her.''

''I think your opinion is pretty clear.''

''I told you all about Husband Number Three! Do you know how uncomfortable that was for me? I haven't told anyone about it, not even Ray or Kate and I sure as hell didn't tell the psychiatrist you made me see. You are the only one who knows that much about what happened. So please tell me something about yourself in return.''

''Not now Ana, I'll tell you, but not now'' he says and goes back to reading his paper.

''Don't you think that what you were doing was wrong?'' I ask, and he sighs and shakes his hand. ''Then why haven't you told your parents? If what you were doing wasn't wrong, you could have told them, your mom would understand right? After all it was consensual.'' He looks up and narrows his eyes at me, looking pissed.

''Leave it alone, Anastasia.''

''It's important for her to know that you believe that what you two did was right. Because when you stop believing that and come to your senses realizing that what she did to you was wrong on so many levels, then she will go to jail. You probably weren't the only one. She probably has seduced many adolescent boys, as that is a pedophiles-''

''Stop'' he says harshly before standing up and leaving the kitchen with his plate of food in his hands.

* * *

After sitting alone eating my breakfast or rather lunch, considering the time of day, Gail comes in and starts clearing the table. She didn't try making small talk, as she probably heard what we were fighting about. I wonder how much his staff knows about him, or his lifestyle. They probably know quite a bit, as he's had submissive after submissive in this apartment.

I walk out of the kitchen and towards Christian's study. I open the door carefully and see that he's sitting hunched in his chair, his head resting on his arms in front of him. He looks up annoyed, but his expression softens when he sees that it's me. He sits up straight, and I close the door behind me.

He rolls his chair backward and motions for me to sit on his lap. I hesitate, but I walk towards him and sit down on his lap. ''I'm sorry'' I whisper and he closes his eyes ''I shouldn't have probed so much.''

''No,'' he says shaking his head, opening his eyes to look at me. ''I'm sorry I barked at you, you didn't deserve that.'' He stretches his arms around me, and holds onto me tightly.

''I just want to understand Christian. I want to know you, but you're holding back.''

''I know. You're just asking me questions and I have never had anyone else do that. No one has ever asked, more like demanded, the questions that you do,'' he says with a chuckle. ''You opened up to me, and I'm grateful for that, you are so strong'' he says stroking my cheek with his index finger. ''I need time, I'm sorry but I'm not ready to share that part of my life yet.''

* * *

**ALSO I KNOW THAT I'M PUSHING IT REALLY FAR BETWEEN POSTING NEW CHAPTERS, BUT SOMETIMES IT JUST HAPPENS. I WAKE UP EVERY MORNING, GET READY, GO TO WORK, FINISHES WORK, GO HOME, HELP / MAKE DINNER, EAT, CLEAN, THEN I HAVE A FEW HOURS FOR MYSELF BEFORE I GO TO SLEEP AGAIN. SO THE FEW HOURS I HAVE IS THE ONLY TIME I HAVE TO WRITE, AND ALSO I'M BOOK CRAZY SO I NEED TO FIT IT ALL IN, WRITING, READING, SLEEPING, SO SOME DAYS I HAVE TO CHOSE WHAT I'M GOING TO DO. **

**I THINK MOST OF YOU CAN RELATE TO THAT, AND I HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND. **


	21. Chapter 21

**CHRISTIAN**

It was later than I had expected when I got the report from Welch, and now I'm just sitting in my office at Escala, staring at the report sitting in front of me, and I don't understand a thing. There's nothing on him. Absolutely nothing. Just normal information like birthday, parents, spouses. There are few speeding tickets, and he was in a bar fight once, on the defensive side. There's absolutely nothing that says that this is a bad man, a psychopath in fact. He's done nothing in the last 5 years. Welch also sent his bank information, maybe he had a feeling that something was wrong, which it definitely is. He hasn't used a single credit or bank card since 2007, absolutely nothing at all.

It's like he has vanished from the face of the earth, what the fuck has happened to that cowered of a man? I dial Welch's number, trying to figure this shit out. Ana went to the library half an hour ago, so I'm not worried about her overhearing something. She doesn't need to know what's happening.

''What is this?!'' I shout into the phone, the minute he picks up, not waiting for a greeting. ''Is this all you've got?'' I ask, throwing the documents all over my desk.

''Yes, that's all I found'' he says, completely immune to my anger as he has always been. No matter how much I've shouted and yelled at him, he's always been so damned calm. ''I tried finding more about him, or about his family, there isn't anything out there. Both parents dead, a brother in jail, his sister died at a young age, and he's disappeared for a little over 4 years now.''

''Is he missing?'' I ask, trying to calm myself down. I don't give a fuck about his family, all I care about is where that fucker currently is.

''He's gone, no trace left of him. No one has reported him missing, so maybe no one cared that the man went missing. Or…'' he starts, but hesitates on the next sentence.

''Or, what?''

''There is a possibility that he has changed identities. This is not a likely scenario, but it does happen sometimes. But if he did change his identity, that would mean he is hiding from something, or someone, probably because of something he's done, although I can't find a single bad thing he's done. I'm sorry, boss, I wish I could help more.'' I let out a defeated, grunt.

''It's fine, I'll figure it out, thanks'' I say as I hang up. This was definitely not going to be as easy as I first thought it would be. That fucker! Where is he hiding? There's always someone else I can call... I don't know if it would help, but it's worth a try. I dial the number, waiting to see if I can get the answer I'm looking for.

''Hello?''

''Ray, hi it's Christian… Grey'' I say as an afterthought, not sure if he remembered who I was, or my voice, or something. ''I am having some trouble, and I think maybe you can be of some help.''

''Alright,'' he says ''Is Annie okay?''

''Ana's fine, that wasn't the problem.'' I say, wanting to get to the point immediately, not wanting to waste time. Although anything to do with Ana wasn't wasted time, but I wanted to get this problem resolved before she found out what I was doing.

''Not sure what I could help you with, but I'll try. Tell me the problem'' he says, I hear a creak of a chair on the other line, as he lets out a little grunt.

''Stephen Morton'' I say, waiting to hear his reaction.

''Oh?'' He says, not a change of tone in his voice.

''He's missing, and I think you can help me figure out where he is.''

''Really? What would make you think I know where he is?'' Still not a damn change in his voice, he hears rather shocked actually. Damn he's good.

''Ray I don't want to play games, are you home? Can I pay you a visit early tomorrow?'' I ask.

''7 good for you?'' He asks, a little bit more defensive now.

''That's fine, goodbye Sir'' I say and he hangs up. I have a gut feeling that visiting Ana's dad may not be in vain. He certainly knows something. He can try to deny it as much as he wants, but I'm not buying it for a second. And I'm certainly not giving up before I know what's going on.

I sit at my desk for a long time, trying to find things out about him myself, but since Welch couldn't find anything, I definitely couldn't find anything else. I let out a defeated sigh, and lean back in my chair.

* * *

There's a soft knock on the door, and Ana's head appears in the doorway. She smiles shyly at me biting her lip, ''its dinner time'' she says in a whisper. I smile at her, log off of my computer, and then join her in the kitchen. Gail sets our plates down on the table, and then excuses herself as she leaves the room.

''Did you find a good book?'' I ask in an attempt to make some small talk. She shakes her head, as she swallows the food she has in her mouth, before answering.

''No, I decided to organize the library. I didn't quite get your system. I started placing them after which year they was published, but it didn't look good. So I color coordinated them.'' She says before taking another bite out of her dinner.

''So, when I want to read something I won't find it?'' She looks at me and her eyes widen.

''I… I'm sorry… I didn't know you used it much, I'm so sorry; I can probably take it back the way it was. I should've asked first, I'm so sorry'' she whispered one last time, looking down at her food and avoiding eye contact with me.

''I was teasing Ana.'' I say and I visibly see her relax. ''But I do read from time to time. And I'll find whatever book I'm looking for when the time comes. Don't worry about it'' I smile at her, and she returns my smile. I can't help what happens next, and honestly, I don't want to help it. I lean forward and capture her lips with mine. Just a gentle chaste kiss, but it leaves me wanting so much more.

''Oh'' Ana whispers, turning her head and blushing, she bites her lips and I chuckle at the sight of her. She looks so damn adorable right this moment.

We go back to eating, not talking much, just occasionally looking at each other, smiling. ''Ah,'' I say and Ana looks up at me with raised eyebrows. ''I almost forgot, Elliot was wondering if we wanted to visit with him and Kate at his place on Friday. I said I needed to talk to you about it.''

''Oh, sure that would be nice. Do you do that often,'' she asks ''visiting each other, I mean?''

''No, I don't visit with my family that often'' I say and she frowns.

''Why? You're supposed to visit them, be there with those who love you'' she whisper, and I already feel this starting to get uncomfortable. ''Why, don't you visit them?''

''Just don't feel like it. I don't really have a need for it.'' I say and she shakes her head as she lets out a bitter laugh.

''Unbelievable,'' she says under her breath, ''Jesus!''

''What?'' I ask starting to get defensive.

''It's her! She made you distance yourself from your family, hasn't she?''

''Jesus Christ, Anastasia, will you let it go? Just let it go.''

''I'm done here'' she says lifting up her plate and taking it over to the sink. She throws the rest of her food in the thrash, and I am furious. I am about ready to start another argument over that, she shouldn't waste food like that.

''Ana,'' I sigh but she doesn't stop. She starts to leave the room, but turns around right before she's out of sight. She narrows her eyes at me, and it's clear that she's pissed off with me.

''I got the job I wanted'' she says, with no emotion in her voice. ''I just thought I should let you know that I'm keeping my name there. It'll be easier that way once we're divorced,'' she says, then turns around and leaves the room quickly.

''Congratulations'' I shout after her, but she doesn't answer and I hear a door closing. I sit there and finish the rest of my dinner, but I've lost my appetite. Gail walks in, and starts to clear the table, not talking to me or looking at me. She ignores me, just the way I like it.

I walk back into my office and try to figure more out about this damn man who's been gone for 4 years.

* * *

I feel my eyes starting to droop, and I notice that it is nearly 1 am. I haven't heard any sign of Ana since our fight at dinner. I once again log off of my computer, and start walking towards Ana's room, when I remember that I once again, I never showed her where it was. I take a quick glance inside the room, and see that Ana's not there, before closing the door again.

I walk towards the library, and I open the door and see that she's not in here either. I walk further into the room and look at the shelves, and it looks really good, Ana did a great job. The covers have really soft coloring, and I like the way she's placed them together.

I close the door to the library and head towards my room. When I open the door I see Ana lying on the bed asleep, her face tear-stained. With a sigh I walk over to the bed, and crouch down beside her, and stroke her arm gently. ''I'm sorry,'' I whisper leaning down and kissing her cheek.

I walk into the bathroom, brushing my teeth and getting ready for bed, skipping the shower tonight, as I am just too tired. When I walk back into the bedroom, I see that Ana has shifted around on the bed, but she is still asleep. I walk over to my side of the bed and lie down.

''I was 4 years when my mother overdosed'' I say to a sleeping Ana. ''I was left alone with her body for 4 days before someone discovered me… I was hungry and scared'' I sigh. ''The scars on my chest and back are scars from when my mother's pimp stubbed his cigarette on me, like his own personal ashtray… I remember that feeling'' I whisper. ''It stayed with me throughout my childhood and it troubled me. I was completely out of control, with fights and drinking, until Elena helped me… I know you don't understand, but no matter how you feel about her, she saved me. If it wasn't for her, I wouldn't be here.''

I sigh and stop talking. I close my eyes and try to sleep when I hear Ana say. ''Christian?'' She says it so silently, that I'm not sure I really heard her. I switch the light on the nightstand on, and turn to look at Ana. She's laying there, with tears running down her face just staring at me. She scoots over to me, and wraps her arms around my neck, as she rests her head on my chest. ''I'm sorry that happened to you'' she says through a sob.

''Shhh'' I say ''it's okay, it was a long time ago… shhh, baby, don't cry.'' I say rocking us back and forth. Ana dries her tears then sits up straight before turning to straddle me and meet my eyes. She sits on my lap, her hands on my cheeks.

''You were abused as a child, Christian'' she says stroking my cheeks slightly. ''That man, and that woman both abused you'' she says and I start to say something but she holds one of her hands against my mouth. ''I don't want to fight, I just wish you could see it.'' She says with a weak smile on her face.

She tries to get off my lap, but I hold onto her hips. She looks at me questioningly, and I shake my head as I grin at her. I lean slightly forward, but stop and let Ana push me away if she wants to, but she doesn't give any signs for that she's going to do that.

The second our lips meet Ana opens her mouth and invites me in. She takes full control of the kiss, and I love it. She's stroking her tongue with mine, as she lets out a few moans and sighs. She starts shifting on my erection, and that's when I lose it.

I roll us over, so that I'm on top and in control. I start kissing the sides of her mouth, before placing a long lingering kiss on her lips. I lick her bottom lip, and she immediately opens up for me, I stroke and entwine our tongues together. Loving every moan I'm dragging out of her. I kiss a trail from her lips to her jaw, and then to her neck where I suck lightly, drawing more moans out of her.

My hands start to play with the hem of her t-shirt. It's then that I notice that she's actually wearing one of mine. I love that. I start to pull the shirt up, when Ana starts to wriggle away from my hands. ''Christian, I'm sorry… I… just'' she breathes out.

''It's okay'' I whisper hoarsely, as I kiss a trail back to her lips.

We lay like that for a long time until we fell asleep in each other's arms.


	22. Chapter 22

**CHRISTIAN**

The second my alarm goes off, I turn it off, so that it won't bother Ana. There's no point in her waking up this early. I have to leave this early because I'm driving to Montesano to meet with Ana's father before I have to be in a meeting at GEH. I have to do this, I need answers about that scum. I carefully try to untangle my body from hers, so as to not wake her up.

I get dressed and walk out to the kitchen to make myself a cup of coffee, one of the few kitchen-things I'm good at. I sit down at the island reading through my emails that arrived after I went to sleep.

There was a period where my phone pinged every time I got an email, but it go to be too much. I get them 24/7 and it would wake me up at night, in the few hours I slept, and they just annoyed the hell out of me. So now I just check my inbox regularly. And even then, it takes me hours to read through them all, if I even bother going through them all.

I start to open up one of my Google alerts when Gail walk into the kitchen, yawning. ''Morning sir, you're up early'' she says and goes directly to work on making breakfast, while letting out multiple yawns.

''Gail, I'll make a sandwich, go back to bed.'' I say putting my phone down on the table and walking over to the stove where she's standing.

''Nonsense, it's my job and I'll do it.''

''Not at 4:30 in the morning, it's not. I'm fine you go back to sleep'' she thanks me and turns the stove off before heading out of the kitchen. ''Gail?'' I call after her and she turns around, I start to find everything I want on my sandwich as I say ''you can wake up your boyfriend though.'' She giggles lightly before heading for their little apartment.

They live in the security guys' apartment complex. It's not little, but compared to the size of the main apartment it is very little. They each have their own room, except Taylor and Gail who share theirs. Those two also have a bathroom of their own, but they share a kitchen and living room with everyone else. I haven't been in there since I handed it over to Taylor, but when I first bought it, it looked good.

After eating my breakfast, Taylor takes the elevator down to the parking garage to the start the car, as I walk into the bedroom to tell Ana I'm leaving.

I sit down beside her on the bed and gently shake her. She stirs but doesn't give in. ''Baby?'' I whisper in her ear, and I can see a little smile form on her face. I shake her once more, and she blinks her eyes open. ''Hi,'' I whisper. ''I'm leaving now, go back to sleep, I just wanted to tell you that I'm not sure when I'll be back. But I'll call you. Bye.'' I lean down and kiss her on the lips, as she kisses me back, well as much as she can kiss me back in her sleepy haze. ''Sleep'' I whisper in ear before I make my way down to the parking garage.

* * *

''Christian'' Ray greets me as I walk up the steps to his house. I greet him back with a handshake and he shows me inside, motioning me to sit down in one of the chairs in the living room. He picks up his cup of coffee ''so she told you.'' I nod as he takes a drink of the cup. ''Good… Now, what is it you think I can help you with?''

''I'm not sure,'' I say honestly. ''The minute Ana told me what that sick bastard did to her; I wanted to rip his head off… and my guys can't find the man. What do you know about that?''

''About what?'' he asks warily.

''Ray I get it, you want to protect your daughter I want to protect… my wife. Is he alive?'' I ask, trying to read Ray's expression, waiting for his face to give anything away. But it doesn't. Damn.

''I don't know'' I sigh at how difficult he's being. ''Christian, what kind of father would I be if I let that man go without taking retribution for what he did to my daughter? I couldn't just let him off the hook.'' He says, his voice starting to break. ''I don't know what he did to her, Annie doesn't want me to know, I respect that. But no matter what it was, it was bad. She's not a person who complains, she likes to be quiet and out of the way, not bother anyone.'' The Ana he's describing is nothing like the Ana that's been present the last couple days with me. Maybe early on she was shy and confused, but my Ana is bossy as fuck.

''She called me and begged me to take her home. She said she couldn't take it anymore. Of course I knew something was wrong, that wasn't like her at all.'' He shakes his head, clearing his head. ''I left as soon as I could; I left everything and went for my daughter… I can't get out of my mind what I walked in on when I arrived at the house'' he says a little bit teary eyed, with a shutter. ''He was going to rape my daughter; she was screaming and struggling to get away from him. He hit her the moment he saw me, but then he went for me.

''He got in a few punches, but I was stronger than him. I knocked him out, and took my daughter to her room, helped her pack a bag as she went and changed and then we left… Annie says he hadn't done anything like that before, she was never raped. But I'm not sure if I believe her.

''I'm ex-military'' he says pointing to a picture of him and many other men in uniforms. ''I have many friends who would help me if I asked, and I sure as hell asked. I told them what he had done, and soon after he was gone.'' He stands up and walks to the kitchen and I follow him, stunned at his story. ''He's dead, I don't know for sure, but there's no way he can be alive. I know where they left him, and in what condition they left him in, but I'm not telling you. The fewer who know, the better… But believe me, Annie won't have to see that disgusting man ever again.''

''Thank you'' I say and he turns around to face me, a look of shock on his face. ''I wish you would tell me where and what happened to him, but I appreciate that you told me this and reassured me that Ana is safe. I still wish there was something I could do.''

''There is'' he says and I look at him with raised eyebrows, waiting to hear what I can do to help. He smiles warmly at me ''be there for Annie, love her like she deserves to be loved. Make her happy'' he says. Not sure how to respond, I just nod. Maybe the "stay married" plan wasn't the smartest idea. I don't think it will work out the way I had hoped. Maybe after 6 months Ana will be too close to my family, and I will be too close to her to let her go. Shit.

''I better get back to Seattle. It was nice seeing you again,'' I say and thrust out my hand for him.

He takes it ''Likewise. I don't expect you're telling Annie about this visit?'' he asks and I shake my head. ''Well okay then, good bye Christian.''

* * *

I walk into my office and am met by a very angry Ana. ''What is this?'' she growls holding up a paper, I look at her dumbfounded, not sure what has made her so angry. She says, ''I quote, _'She's my drunken mistake, that I now have to live with, I regret it but there's nothing I can do about that now' _says the newlywed Christian Grey.'' I start to walk toward her confused about what she's reading, but she holds up her hands.

''Ana'' I say calmly, ''that's not me. I have never said that'' I start to walk to her again, and she does nothing to stop me. I take the paper out of her hands, and start to skim through the article, where I see lie upon lie written about Ana and me. It says that I thought she was pregnant, that I wanted to do the right thing, but she had lied about the pregnancy. It also says that she made sure I was too drunk to know any better. That I am now forced to stay married to her to keep my money and company, and that if I divorce her she will take me down.

''Look there'' she says pointing to a sentence. It says that they got all the information from a close family friend. I grit my teeth together. ''It's her, it has to be,'' I turn around to look at Ana when I hear the hurt in her voice. She's looking out the window, teary-eyed. I wrap my arms around her middle, but she shakes her head and pulls out of my grasps.

She sits down on the couch, hides her head in her hands, and starts to sob. ''Ana'' I say, walking over to her to try comfort her again, but she shakes her head and looks angrily up at me.

''No!'' she shouts, ''that's your 'friends' work! The woman that means so much to you. I… no, Christian'' she sobs.

''I'll talk to her, she can't treat you like that, or lie about us.''

''There is no _us! _Although the article was incorrect about the reason behind this marriage, it was right about one thing. I am just a mistake you regret. That much is true, and I bet those was your words to her… I can't do this right now. I'm staying with Kate for a little while. You deal with your, Mrs. Robinson, friend, dome, sub, lover, ex girlfriend, whatever that woman is to you. And you just leave me alone.''

''Ana'' I call after her as she heads for the door. ''Ana be rational. We have to talk this through, we can discuss what you want me to tell Elena. Don't leave, not like this.'' I say but she continues her walk.

''I'll see you at Elliot's tomorrow.'' Then the door shuts behind her.

* * *

**ANA**

I have no idea how long I've been sitting in the car crying. It feels like hours, and my eyes can't take more. Why am I so hurt by this? I knew from the get go that Christian didn't care about me, that I was just a hurdle in his life he couldn't wait to get over. I am just an inconvenience to him, I've known that all along, but why does that bother me so much now?

I look at Sawyer who is sitting behind the wheel, pretending he doesn't hear me, or see me crying through the rearview mirror. I take my phone out of my purse and find Kate's number.

_Can I stay with you till tomorrow?_

I'm staying with Elliot until we're leaving for our vacation, sorry.

_No that's okay, but can I stay at your place?_

It only takes about 2 seconds before Kate calls me. ''What has happened Ana? Did Christian do something? Did he hurt you?'' I hear murmuring in the back, and Kate hissing ''Shhh''

''It's just… I need some time alone, to think...you know? Just for tonight, please?'' I ask, trying to mask that I'm crying, and have been for quite some while now.

''Of course, I gave you a spare key right? I don't know how much food there is, but the guest room is always yours. There are sheets in the closet. You sure everything's okay?''

''Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow.'' I hang up, and tell Sawyer to drive me to the nearest grocery store.

* * *

As I enter Kate's apartment with the bags with groceries, I see that she hasn't really been here all that much. She's probably stayed over at Elliot's every day since moving here. Out of curiosity, I walk into Kate's room, and see all her boxes just piled in her room. Her bed's undone and the bathroom is empty.

I walk into the guest room, which was supposed to be my room and make the bed, and then walk back into the living room to fix up the couch for Sawyer to sleep on. ''Ana, I would feel more comfortable just staying in the car'' Sawyer whines, sitting at the kitchen island.

''No, you take the couch here'' I say pointing at the couch ''or you go back to Escala'' I say pointing out the door. ''You choose,'' with a sigh he sits down on the couch. ''Good, I'm going to sleep for a little while, I can make you dinner later if you want.''

''Go to bed'' he says waving me off. ''I know how to make my own food, Ana. I like cooking.'' He says with a grin, and I smile back at him.

''Good, then you can make me dinner'' I say with a smile as I walk into the bedroom.

I wake up to my phone ringing, I ignore it thinking it's just Christian, he's probably going to ask me how long I'm going to put up this childish act. I can already hear the question and see that look on his face; the look of annoyance.

The phone stops ringing, but immediately starts again 3 seconds later. With a sigh I look at the phone, and a picture of my mother appears on the screen. I haven't talked to her since she told me she couldn't come to my graduation, which was before we got married.

''Hi, mom'' I say and but she's not listening, she's ranting on and on about deceiving her. ''Hold on Mom, you are talking too fast. What are you talking about?''

''Are you _married?_'' She asks breathlessly. ''I read this article about you being married, lying to this man and tricking him into marrying you.'' She continues on with her rant, and I wait until it's my turn to talk. Sometimes, meaning every time I talk to her, my mother is impossible. ''Ana are you there?''

''I am married'' I say not caring about her surprised gasp ''but I never told Christian that I was pregnant, and I never told him I would ruin his life if he divorced me. The person saying those things is a vicious person, who is jealous of mine and Christian's relationship… I didn't know you cared'' I say after she stayed quiet on the other line.

''Of course I care, I'm your mother. And I actually feel quite hurt that I learned that my only child was married and she didn't tell me, and that she was drunk at the time of her marriage.'' She sighs heavily ''I just don't understand why you didn't tell me!'' she says hysterically ''you're married for god's sake… and to a billionaire.'' She whispers the last part as if it's some sort of secret.

''Mom, I have a headache, can we talk later?'' I ask.

''Anastasia, I jus-'' she says as I hang up on her. Silencing my phone, I rest my head back on the pillow. There's a soft knock on the door, and I sit upright as Sawyer's head appears in the doorway.

''Everything okay in here?'' He asks, looking around in the rather empty box filled room.

''Yeah,'' I say with a sigh, I motion towards my phone ''just my mother.'' He chuckles lightly and starts to close the door. ''Wait,'' I say and he opens the door again. ''What time is it?''

''Around 5, why?'' He asks, but then a grin appear on his face and he says ''are you ready for my amazing lasagna?'' As the word 'lasagna' leaves his mouth, my stomach growls, and with a laugh we walk into the kitchen.

* * *

**Author's note: NO ANA IS NOT FALLING IN LOVE WITH SAWYER. THAT WON'T HAPPEN, SO NO POINT IN ASKING ABOUT IT. **

**WITH THAT SAID, I HOPE YOU LIKED IT :D**


	23. Chapter 23

**I know I'm setting myself up for attack with this, but... I'm going to try and write more. I said that I changed between writing and reading, and I unfortunately have only written 23 chapters (nearly 24) and I have read 65 books, no that's not a misspelling I have read 65 books. So, I hope that I can read a book then write a chapter before I start a new book. Now I can't promise anything, but I hope I can do it. For all of our sakes.**

**I hope you like this chapter, I am having mixed feelings about it. **

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**ANA**

''Hmmm'' I moan as I eat the last bite of my lasagna, ''that really was amazing.'' I say and he gives me cocky grin back. ''I need to get that recipe.''

''Nope, no can do'' I shoot him a pouty face and he just chuckles, ''my mom would have a fit if I gave you the family recipe without marrying you.'' He makes a fake gasp, and touches his chest. ''But I'll tell her you liked it'' he says and starts clearing the table.

''Aw, that's too bad. Give me that'' I say while taking the plates out of his hands, but he refuses to let go. ''You made dinner, so I'll clean up'' he shakes his head, and tries to take the plates out of my grip. ''Sawyer, give me those'' I playfully hiss at him, and after a few seconds of an intense staring contest, we both let go of the plates at the same time.

''Shit'' he mutters and carefully pushes me away from the mess ''Are you okay?'' He asks as he starts to pick up the big pieces of glass. I look down at myself; I don't feel any pain, but I see a stain of blood starting to appear on my left sock.

''I think so,'' I say as I sit down to take the sock of. I don't see any pieces of glass in the wound, but I think that I definitely need to attend to it. There's a lot of blood around the cut, which makes it look bad, but I honestly don't feel anything. ''Ehm…'' I say as he carries the broken plates over to the trash, ''I may need to clean this'' I say showing him my foot.

''Ana!'' he says panicked and runs over to me to inspect my foot. ''Shit,'' he says and turns the foot over to see if I can easily move it or it's broken.

''It's not deep, it just needs some cleaning. Don't worry'' I say and try to rise up but get pushed back down by Sawyer.

''I'm going to get in trouble for this'' he mutters, still inspecting my foot. ''I'll go clean this up… Do you know where your friend has a first aid kit?''

''Bathroom maybe?'' I shrug, not even sure whether or not Kate owns a first-aid kit. I hear him closing and opening cabinets in the bathroom, before he comes out with a pink makeup bag. ''Ehm, I'm not sure if foundation will help'' I say and he rolls his eyes. He sits down on the floor in front of me, and opens the bag. I see all the first-aid kit essentials in the makeup bag, and remember when Kate complained about how ugly they looked.

He starts to clean the wound and I let out a hiss ''You okay?'' he asks, never taking his eyes off my foot.

''Mhmmm'' I say as I bite in my lower lip, to keep it from trembling. When he's satisfied with his cleaning job, he takes out a roll of bandages, trying to figure out which one who would fit best. ''You won't get in trouble for this'' I say when he starts rolling one of them on, but he doesn't say anything. ''It was my fault, I'll tell Christian that if he tries to blame you.''

''No worries, Ana'' he says and cuts off the bandage with scissors before securing it. ''I can take whatever Mr. Grey feels is necessary,'' he stands up and offers me his hand ''can you stand?''

I lift myself up, trying to put as little pressure on my foot as possible. I set the foot down, and I literally can't feel anything, maybe just a little sting, but it's not really painful. ''I'm okay,'' I say looking over to the glass that needs to be vacuumed up. ''I'll take it'' I say pointing at it and he starts to shake his head. ''I'll take care of it Sawyer, you can find a movie that we can watch and I'll pop some popcorn, okay?''

''Fine,'' he says with a huff. I guess he's not the kind of guy who likes to be told what to do, ''where are the movies?'' I point at the shelf beside the TV, and he starts looking through them, as I search for the vacuum cleaner.

After a few minutes, I haven't heard a sound from Sawyer so I look over to where he's standing. He has two DVD's in his hands and a look of disgust on his face. ''You found Kate's porn?'' I ask, and he jumps slightly.

''What? No! No, is there porn in here?'' he asks looking in the shelf again. ''Anyway, why does every girl have The Notebook and Titanic?'' he asks holding up the 2 movies in his hands. ''Is it like a girl thing?''

''I don't know, I've seen Titanic, and I may or may not have shed a tear. But I could never stay awake during The Notebook. It's not really my cup of tea. Kate loves it though.'' He lets out a huff and shakes his head. ''You decide on anything?'' he holds up _Fast and Furious 6._

''Isn't your friend dating the boss' brother?'' He asks and I nod ''Elliot is such a guy, and this is the most guy friendly movie she owns? Jesus, poor guy.''

I take the bowl of popcorn and sit down on the couch. ''You know, I don't think they watch that many movies when they're here together. This sofa on the other hand, has had quite a lot of action'' I say and the disgusted face has returned to his face.

The rest of the day I keep checking my phone, waiting for a call or a text, or anything from Christian. But nothing comes. I don't know why I feel disappointed by that, but I do. He could've asked me if everything was okay, or even if I made it safely to Kate's, but nothing. Not a single peep from him.

* * *

After I woke up to Sawyer making breakfast, which was delicious by the way, we had another lazy day with watching movies. A chick flick, since there wasn't anything else to watch. Throughout the entire movie, Sawyer kept groaning at how cliché everything was and that in real life nothing would ever happen like that.

After eating Chinese take-out we ordered, I decided to start getting ready to go to Elliot's. Kate texted me asking me to be there by 5:30pm, which is only an hour. I still need to get ready, and I have absolutely no idea where Elliot lives. As I walk in to my bedroom, I realize it's not really my bedroom, so I have nothing of mine in it. Shit.

I walk into Kate's bedroom in hopes of finding something half-decent to wear today. I have a feeling though that most of Kate's clothes are already at Elliot's, but it's still worth a try. As I walk from the guestroom to Kate's room, I see Sawyer is talking intensely on the phone with someone, and the conversation doesn't look pleasant.

As I look through the dresses on the hangers in her closet, I try to find something that will fall past my ass. But all her dresses are so damn short, they all look amazing on her, but I wouldn't dare wearing anything like that. However, I find a mint colored summer dress that ends mid-thigh; the only problem is that the back is completely bare. But it's better than nothing.

* * *

''Ana you made it!'' squeals a slightly buzzed Kate as she opens the door to Elliot's apartment. She looks down at her wrist, where there is no watch, and says ''you should've been here 10 minutes ago'' and she tsks at me with her finger. ''I've been waiting for you'' she says with a pouty lip ''and by the way Christian'' she says with exasperated expression on her face, ''looks absolutely miserable. What's happening?''

I shrug ''it's nothing'' she eyes me like she does when she doesn't believe me, but she lets it go. I walk into the hall; and am not surprised, as this is more like what I had expected Escala to look like, as it is 100% a bachelor pad. It is smaller than Escala, much smaller in fact, it isn't family friendly, and there's not a single picture on any of the walls.

Elliot comes out into the hall to get us. I watch him walk towards us in a straight line, and once he reaches me, he wraps me up in his arms in a tight hug, completely lifting me off the ground. ''Glad you made it'' he says shaking me while still holding me off the ground. I giggle and hit him gently on the back and he finally lets me go. ''Like the hair'' he says pulling at it lightly.

I'm following after Kate and Elliot as we are walking out of the hall, both are trying really hard not to touch each other, and completely failing at it. I hear some muffled groaning, and there's only one person who it could be. When I walk around the corner, I see Christian, nursing a drink, and my eyes immediately settle on his hand, which is bruised and looks sore. I sit down on the bar stool opposite of him and take his hand in mine.

''What happened?'' I ask inspecting it. It looks well cleaned up, but he probably should've put something over it to protect it.

His head falls slightly forward as he looks down at our hands and murmurs, ''My office door." He looks up and gives me an apologetic look, which quickly transforms into a pained expression when he looks into my eyes.

''How're you doing, Christian?'' I ask, and he shrugs.

''Not good. I have a killer headache right now, so I can't imagine how it's gonna be tomorrow when the hangover comes.'' He says with a frown on his face. I lean over, and run my finger over his frown, trying to erase it, since it always seems to be there. ''What are you doing?'' he asks, while lifting up his eyebrows, then he rubbing the place where my fingers just were on his face. ''Hmm, it helped.''

''Your always frowning. Stop frowning,'' I say with a weak smile.

''You guys are so weird,'' Kate says as she downs a shot, and I blush. She tries to hand me one but I decline it. ''Are you pregnant?'' She gasps.

''No!'' I say at the same time Christian's head flies up to look at me with a panicked look. ''I've just decided not to drink today, I've been drinking two times now with you guys, and that has turned into me being drunk two times, so no thank you'' I say and Elliot gets up and grabs a coke out of his fridge. ''Thank you'' I say and he gives me a smile as he sits back down besides Christian.

''How are we going to play any drinking games then, with you not drinking, Ana?'' Kate asks, looking rather upset. I shrug and give her an apologetic smile. ''It's fine'' she says and takes another one of the shots lined up.

''Kate, slow down'' Elliot says as Kate obviously kicks him under the table, while also sending him a death glare, but based on Elliot's expression, you wouldn't think that he had just been kicked or had an uncomfortable look directed at him. He just stares back at her with a hard stare to match hers. As she goes to grab another one shot Elliot warns, ''Kate…''.

I look uncomfortably over at Christian, but he's not paying any attention to them, he looks lost in thought. I see in the corner of my eye that Kate takes another shot and I hear a ''that's it'' from Elliot although he doesn't sound mad, just tired. He walks over to Kate who is sitting beside me, and lifts her up, carrying her out of there and towards the bedroom.

I lean forward and touch Christian's hand, and he jolts back to reality. He first looks around for Kate and Elliot, but quickly loses interest in finding out where they went. ''I talked to Elena'' he says warily, gauging my reaction, but when I don't give him any response he sighs. ''Enough is enough. She, like everyone else besides my family has signed an NDA, and I don't take too well to those being broken.''

''Oh?'' I ask with a raised eyebrow.

''If this continues, then I'm done supporting her salons, she knows that now. She was pissed as fuck, but I don't care.'' He says taking the rest of his drink in one gulp. I look down at my coke, not sure what to say. I'm sort of happy about what he told her, but I feel like it's not enough. ''I fucking thought you would be happy now'' he says harshly.

I'm about to answer, when we hear a loud moan, one that I'm sure belongs to Kate. I try to continue with our conversation, but her moans are getting higher and higher, and then we hear a few loud grunts from Elliot too. ''Oh my god'' I mutter feeling really uncomfortable.

''Oh for fucks sake'' Christian says and stands up from his stool. He walks out of the room, I don't know where he's going, but it seems like Christian knows where to go. Suddenly there's a loud knock on a door. ''Quit it'' Christian's harsh voice says. And seconds later he comes walking back into the room, grabbing a new drink. All the while, avoiding my gaze, and I feel tears threatening to fall. I try to blink them away.

''Fuck off Christian'' Elliot says as he walks back into the room, and sits down beside me.

''You have company here. Anastasia fucking heard you! Why the fuck did you invite us if you were just going to leave and fuck your newest girlfriend?'' he says angrily, giving him a dirty look.

''Oh give it up, Ana's heard worse, right?'' he asks looking at me, and I can't do anything else but agree. ''And then there was that time when you were in bed with us'' he says.

''What?'' Christian asks shooting up from the bar stool, ''what the fuck is he talking about, Ana?''

I roll my eyes at Elliot, and he chuckles ''it was nothing'' I say, but he's not having my answer. ''Everyone was dressed, and I needed to talk to Kate, Elliot was asleep, until he suddenly wasn't, but nothing happened. Asshole'' I murmur at Elliot and hit his arm. ''Kate?'' I ask looking back at where Elliot came from.

''Tired,'' he answers.

''I bet'' Christian murmurs, downing his drink for the third time since I came here.

''What crawled up your ass?'' Elliot asks, now sounding angry. Christian rolls his eyes, not answering his question. ''For fucks sake Christian, you're always in a bad mood, but what is going on with you?'' I feel uncomfortable sitting here listening to them biting each other heads off. And while they are arguing, I have this crazy need to defend Christian and tell Elliot that nothing is wrong with him, he's just had a tough time recently. ''Why won't you answer?''

''Ehm…'' I say trying to change the subject but they just won't stop glaring at each other. ''Elliot, which room was meant for me?'' I ask, not wanting to sit through this. He stands up without saying a word. I follow quickly behind him, and walk into the room he has opened. ''Good night… Elliot I want to apologize for Chri-''

''Forget it, it's fine… good night, Ana.''

* * *

Later that night I hear a loud thump and a lot of groaning. Turning around in bed, and clicking the light on, I see a heavily drunk Christian. ''Shhhh'' he says at me, putting his finger up his lips. He tries to take of his shirt, but when he spends 2 minutes unbuttoning one button, I stand up to help him.

''Sit down,'' I say and he does as I say. I start at the end of his shirt, when I push his shirt off his shoulders, I have to make myself not ogle his abs. I look at the bag beside the bed. Earlier I wondered what it was for, but I look in it now and find a T-shirt for Christian. ''Lift up your arms,'' I say and he obliges.

''So demanding'' he slurs, ''I like it'' he whispers in my ear, I close my eyes and shake my head to clear it. I let go of his hands slowly, to see if he can stand on his own. I start to unbuckle his pants, and I am met with a semi hard erection. ''See what you do to me?''

I don't answer him as I tug his pants all the way down and lift his leg up to take it off. ''There'' I say happy with getting his clothes off. ''Come'' I say and lead him over to his side of the bed, and he chuckles. ''Do you need to go to the bathroom?'' I ask before letting him lay down, he shakes his head, and as he falls down on the bed he takes me with him.

''Hmmm, hey baby'' he says as he starts kissing my neck. And I find myself holding my breath longer than what's good for me as I feel a little lightheaded. When he traces my neck with his tongue, I try to get out of his grip, but he only holds me tighter.

''Christian'' I say while trying to wiggle out from his hold. ''Please, stop.''

''I just want to hold you, I'm not going to do anything to you, I'm not a rapist'' he says offended, and I sigh and shake my head, at a complete loss for words. ''I know you don't want me Ana, but I just wanted to hold you'' he says harshly, but with a hint of hurt in his voice. _Who said I didn't want him? _''You did,'' he replies, and I realize that I said that out loud. ''When I tried to seduce you a few minutes ago, you pushed me away.'' He lets go of me and I roll over to my side, laying sideways to look at him.

''Oh,'' I whisper.

''Yeah 'oh'. I get it, I'm not going to force you into something, no matter how drunk I am, I would never hurt you.'' He says resting his bruised hand on my cheek. I take it and gently kiss it, and a low groan escapes his lips. ''It's okay that you don't want me. I probably would not want me either, especially after everything you've learned ab-''

''Christian,'' I say trying to get him to stop scrutinizing himself.

''No, I said it's fine. Let's drop it okay? I don't want to know how disgusting you think I am-''

''I'm on my period'' I say before another word leaves his mouth. He stops talking, and frowns in thought.

''So when you told me… no, it wasn't because you didn't want me?''

''Christian'' I sigh ''this is getting so messed up, but… no it wasn't because I didn't want you'' I say and a slow grin appears on his face. He dips his head forward and captures my lips with his, in a slow and gentle kiss, and I can taste the booze on him.

''The period'' he says starting a trail of kisses down my neck ''doesn't bother me.'' He starts to run one of his hands down my body.

''It bothers me'' I say lifting his hand away from my thigh ''I'm bleeding!'' I hiss quietly at him. ''Just go to sleep, you're not even going to remember this tomorrow.''

''If you _want_ me baby, I'll remember anything about tonight.''

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**I hope you liked it :)**


	24. Chapter 24

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**CHRISTIAN**

''Argh!'' I let out a groan as I wake up to the feel of the bed moving up and down, as if someone is jumping on it. Then I feel someone sit down beside me on the bed. ''Ana?'' I ask, barely recognizing my own voice.

''Yes it's me. How are you feeling?'' She asks and suddenly the smell of orange juice and coffee hits me. ''Here, take these,'' I open my eyes and I see two Advil lying in the palm of her hand.

''I feel like… death'' I say taking them out of her hand and swallow them, before lying back down on the bed and draping my hand over my eyes.

''Can you sit up? I made breakfast,'' I remove my hands from my eyes and once again and notice the tray of food on the nightstand.

''You made..? Where are Elliot and Kate?'' As I look at the breakfast tray, I notice that there isn't a lot of food there. But I guess that is what is to be expected in Elliot's fridge.

''They've already left'' she says as she grabs one piece of toast. I start to sit up slowly, trying to ignore my throbbing head.

''They couldn't have even say goodbye? When did they leave?'' I ask, reaching for the glass of OJ.

''Ehm, before I woke up, I found a note in the kitchen… what happened last night?'' Ana asks not meeting my gaze. ''I heard a lot of yelling before I fell asleep. The next thing I remember was you coming into my room.''

''There was a lot of yelling, from both of us. He told me a lot of things I already knew about myself; and he basically told me what you had already talked to me about. But, he told me that I was never there for my family and that I should be there more now.'' I rub my face, and Ana gives me a sad and apologetic smile.

''You have been busy under all the pressure of making your own company, and then there's that _woman_, so it's not really your faul-''

''Ana don't make excuses for me,'' I cut her off ''Elliot's right. I have hurt my parents by never showing up to expected family events and ignoring them. I just couldn't be a part of those, it just didn't feel right.''

* * *

**ANA**

''Will you tell me why?'' I ask, leaning back against the headboard of the bed I occupied last night. I lean my head against the wall, waiting for him to avoid the question and change the subject.

''It's hard being a part of a perfect family when you feel anything but perfect.'' He says in a soft whisper. I look over at him and he's staring out into nothing. After a few moments, he set his glass of orange juice back on the night stand and stared at his intertwined fingers.

''You're too hard on yourself Christian, look at all you've accomplished in just a few years,'' I let out a tiny laugh ''it's amazing, and you've done it all by yourself.'' He looks over at me with a tired smile. ''I'll let you rest some more if you want? I will go somewhere and read. Does Elliot have any books?'' It takes all of 3 seconds of Christian staring at me with a blank expression before he bursts into a belly laugh. The sound of it is amazing, and I've just made it my life mission to hear that sound as much as possible.

''Do you think Elliot _reads?_'' He says through his laughter. ''Maybe you'll find some porn, or an instruction manual, but no _books_.'' He looks at me still laughing, and then stops suddenly and groans. He rests his head on his arm and says, ''stay here, I just want to close my eyes for a second.''

I lay down on the bed. I'm not really feeling tired, but when Christian drapes his arm around my waist, I _really _don't want to get up either.

* * *

I'm still half-asleep, as I start to swat at a tickle I feel on my shoulder. It stops for a brief second before continuing again on the opposite shoulder. I swat at it again, and this time I hear a deep chuckle from behind me. I realized that it wasn't some random breeze tickling me; it was Christian kissing my shoulder.

''Hmm, I didn't mean to wake you up,'' he says against my skin, causing goose bumps to erupt down my body. ''But now that you're awake…''

''Uh uh, not happening'' I say rolling away from him. I know he was pretty drunk last night when he stumbled to bed, so I don't know how much of our conversation he remembers, but I really don't want to have it with him again; it was awkward enough the first time. I was so embarrassed when I blurted out that I have my period, but I couldn't just let him lay there and make assumptions about my feelings for him.

''A little blood neve-'' he starts to whisper in my ear, but I'm on my feet in seconds and running into the bathroom, before he can even finish his sentence. As I sit down at the toilet, I feel myself blush, a dark shade of red I imagine. I can't believe he's talking so bluntly about this.

As I start washing my hands, Christian walks into the bathroom, lifts the toilet lid, and starts peeing right in front of me. I turn away from him quickly, ''what are you doing?'' I ask when the sound stops. I turn around to look at him, but quickly turn the other way once again. ''Please tuck that thing away.''

''Thing?'' He asks ''oh Ana, you did not call my dick a thing'' I hear him flush the toilet and I turn around, hopefully for the last time, and finally, it's tucked away. ''You're hurting his feeling.''

I let out a nervous giggle. ''Well I guess you'll have to stroke its ego then to make it feel better.'' He leans back against the tub, crossing his hands over his chest with a huge smirk on his face.

''I think you should do it'' he says and I feel my eyes widen. ''Since it was you who hurt him by saying 'thing'. By the way, he's not a 'thing', he is the most cherished part of my body.'' I roll my eyes and try to walk past him, but he grabs my arm. ''That eye rolling thing of yours Has. To. Stop.''

I see the seriousness in his eyes, so I just nod. He lets go of my arm and I walk into the bedroom to get changed. I have no other choice but to wear the dress I wore last night, since I didn't think to bring a change of clothes like Christian did.

I've just slipped my dress on when Christian emerges from the bathroom. He looks me over and frowns. ''I brought a pair of sweatpants, if you want them? And I also have a t-shirt you can wear.'' I shake my head, but he raises his eyebrow. ''Ana, you can't be comfortable in that. We're just driving ho-'' he stops mid sentence and cocks his head to the side, ''you are coming home with me, right?''

''Yes, and I don't need your clothes Christian, I'm fine.'' I say looking down at my attire.

''No you wear them. Ehm… I drove here by myself last night,'' he says looking nervously at me, dragging his fingers through his hair ''and I don't think I should drive right now. Are you up for it, or-?''

''Which car?'' I ask excitedly as I've seen the collection in the parking garage, and there are quite a few of his cars I wouldn't mind taking for a test drive.

''The R8'' he says nervously, and I beam up at him.

''You're letting me drive it? Wow, yes, absolutely! Of course I feel up to driving it, are you sure?''

''I am having second thoughts right now'' he says with a chuckle, and I playfully hit his arm. ''So put on my clothes, so we can go.''

* * *

**CHRISTIAN**

I am holding the handle so hard that it's starting to hurt. I feel like I'm holding on for dear life, if I knew how Anastasia's driving was we would've taken a cab. It's not that she's that bad of a driver, but she's so easily distracted, and often takes her eyes of the road, to look around.

''Do you want to grab lunch somewhere?'' I ask, trying to calm my nerves and take my mind off of Ana's driving. She looks over at me with a frown. ''Eyes on the fucking road, Anastasia!'' She looks back to the road with a huff. ''What I ate at Elliot's was not enough food, so do you want to eat out or at Escala?''

''Have you seen what I'm wearing?'' She asks. Although I know exactly what she's wearing, I still let my eyes look at her stunning body in my clothes. I get a feeling of pride and… ownership at seeing her wearing my clothes.

''You look fine, we can go somewhere private if you don't want people to look at you. But you're beautiful Ana, people will look no matter what.'' I look over at her again, and she's blushing . ''It's your choice,'' she sighs and looks over at me. ''The. Road. Anastasia!''

''Calm down, Christian, I know what I'm doing. What did you have in mind?'' She asks, and I tell her where to drive and the more I complain over her not watching the road, the more pissed she gets. ''Italian?'' She asks as we stop outside the little restaurant.

''Yep…'' I say jumping out of the car as fast as I can. I look over at her and see that she's not moving at all. ''Is that okay? Or do you not like Italian?'' I ask while making my way over to her side of the car.

''No Italian is fine, it's just that… well, ehm…'' she says looking down at her lap, and if I'm not mistaken I think she might be crying.

''Hey, what is it? Do you not feel well? Do you need to go see a doctor? I can call my mother,'' I say while taking my phone out of my pocket, but she shakes her head.

''No it's just that, you're wearing your work attire, which is very nice,'' she says and gives me a small smile, ''and look at me. I look like I'm homeless. What will people think when they see us together?''

''Baby,'' I say and chuckle lightly as she looks up at me in shock, almost as if I just slapped her, and my laughter suddenly stops. ''Would you like to know how much those costs?'' I ask while pointing at her attire, but she shakes her head. ''I don't care what people think about us together. We are just a married couple going out to eat lunch, there's nothing wrong with that.'' She sighs, but doesn't make a move to get out of the car. ''Come.'' I say leaning over her to unclasp her seat belt. ''It's okay, there's only two other tables occupied, and we can sit anywhere you'd like, okay?'' She nods and we start to walk into the restaurant hand-in-hand.

* * *

When the food arrives at our table, both our eyes widen. We ordered lunch, but this amount of food could probably feed 10 people. ''Ehm, I know how you feel about wasted food, but you can't expect me to eat all this,'' she says motioning over her huge plate of spaghetti Bolognese. Even my side salad is huge and is paired with an equally large dish of lasagna.

''No, I'm not expecting that. I don't think I'll even be able to eat it everything,'' I say reluctantly. I'm not expecting us to finish this, as it is way too much food, but I wish we could because there is going to be a lot of food going to waste. Ana looks around the place, as we start eating, and her eyes land on 2 small children are playing in the corner of the room with a lot of toys. ''You want kids?''

''I think I would,'' she says not taking her eyes off the children. ''I don't think about it often because I'm only 21, but yes, I would like children someday.'' She says with a smile, ''You?''

''No,'' I say shaking my head ''that's not for me'' she frowns, and I find myself saying ''with the upbringing I had, I could only do damage to a child.'' Her fork stops midway to her mouth, and she looks over at me in shock.

''Why would you say that? I don't know anything about your childhood, but I think Grace and Carrick did a great job at raising you.''

''You know more than most people do.'' I say not meeting her stare. ''I was a troubled child, Anastasia, and a really troubled teen. It's better if I just stay childless.''

''You don't mean that,'' she says, and then I finally look up at her. I see that her eyes are full of unshed tears. ''A child would be very lucky to have you as a father Christian, why would you think otherwise?''

''If any child of mine were to be half as bad as I was, it's just better not to have any… Can we stop talking about this?'' I ask, going back to eating my food, although I have unfortunately lost my appetite.

* * *

**ANA**

When we arrive back at Escala, after our heavy discussion at lunch, and subsequently a quiet Christian, we're met by Taylor in the foyer. Then I notice that there is also a lady standing right behind him. ''Ma'am, are you alright?'' Taylor asks me, which confuses me.

''Yes, of course I am'' I look over to Christian, but he's wearing the same confused expression I am.

''This is Dr. Ashton, she's here to look at your foot.''

I say ''What?'' at the same time as Christian says ''What the fuck happened to your foot?''

''Hello Mrs. Grey,'' the doctor says while shaking my hand, ''Mr. Grey'' she says and also shakes Christian's hand. ''I would like to take a look at your knuckles as well, Mr. Grey.''

Without saying another word, I follow her to one of the bathrooms, and she opens her medical bag and then asks me to take of my shoes and socks. I sit down on the toilet lid and do as she says, while Christian is hovering by the door, looking rather pissed off. When my sock is off, I hear Christian let out a small growl. With the bandage wrapped around it, the cut looks big, but it's just a little one, nothing to worry about.

The doctor starts rolling the bandage off my foot, and when it's finally bare, another growl escapes Christian's lips. I look up at him, and send a pointed glare at him, clearly asking him to stop. ''Where the fuck was Sawyer?'' He asks angrily.

''Sawyer was right there, he helped me clean it up, he was very nice to me Christian, it was all my fault.'' I say, hoping to protect Sawyer. I would hate for him to get fired because of my stubbornness.

''He did a good job,'' the doctor adds, and Christian huffs. ''It looks good Mrs. Grey, you will have a little scar, but nothing major. You should have it checked in a week's time to make sure it's healing fine, but other than that, everything seems to be doing well.'' She says finishing wrapping another bandage around my foot. ''Now Mr. Grey'' she says and motions at him to sit on toilet lid that I was previously occupying, but he's not moving out of the doorway.

''Christian just let her see it,'' I say and with a sigh he sits down and thrusts his hand out towards her. She wraps it up and tells us that she will be back to check on both of us sometimes next week. We follow the doctor out into the hall entryway and I see both Taylor and Sawyer standing there, and Sawyer sends me an apologetic look.

When the elevator closes, Christian turns his attention to Sawyer. ''My office now!'' he growls before turning abruptly and walking towards his office. When Sawyer walks past me, I start to follow them.

''Mrs. Grey, you should stay here,'' Taylor says but I ignore him. This is because of me, so I have every right to be there to defend Sawyer and say what really happened.

''Ana'' Christian sighs, blocking the entrance to his office, ''give us a second.'' I shake my head and push past him. I then sit in the chair beside Sawyer and wait for Christian to take his seat behind his desk. ''What happened?'' He asks calmly. I think that if I wasn't here, he wouldn't be this calm.

''Sir, it's my fault'' Sawyer says before I can something. I start to protest but Sawyer stops me. ''We were discussing who was going to wash the dishes, and neither of us were backing down, and then we both suddenly let go of the plates and they fell on Mrs. Grey's feet.'' He says, and Christian shoots daggers at the both of us.

''Plates?'' he asks, and I have a really hard time not rolling my eyes. Out of everything Sawyer has said, that's the only thing he hears?

''Yes, we ate dinner,'' I say ''Sawyer made it, so it was only fair that I wash the dishes, it was entirely my fault. Don't punish him for my idiocy.'' Christian lets out a sigh, and rubs his chin.

''I'm not firing anyone, Ana, but let the man do his job,'' Christian says before dismissing Sawyer. ''Why didn't you tell me?'' He asks when Sawyer has shut the door.

''I forgot. It didn't hurt so I didn't notice it, and I guess it just slipped my mind'' I say with a shrug. ''Are you mad?''

''No, I'm not'' he says as he walks around his desk and leans on the front of it. ''Do you start working Monday?'' he asks and I nod. ''Will you tell me where now that you are officially starting?''

''Seattle Independence Publishing.''

''Ah, good company,'' he says with a smile, with what looks like a hint of pride sin it. ''And you're keeping Steele there?'' He asks and I nod.

''When the divorce is finalized, I don't want to have to change everything again, it'll just get complicated. This way will just be easier.''

''Fine'' he says not sounding the least bit pleased with my decision. ''Remember you have an appointment with your psychiatrist on Monday, before you start work.'' I nod and leave his office, and walk to the library where I fall into a new world, in a book.


	25. Chapter 25

**ANA**

''Ana, it's so good to see you again,'' Dr. Rose Martin says as she greets me in the waiting room. It's only been a week since I last saw her, but I feel like so much has happened since then.

''Likewise,'' I say as she leads me back into her office. I sit down in the seat I sat in last time, and she starts to shuffle papers around on her desk. She then grabbed a notebook and took a seat in the chair opposite of me and then looked at me with a smile on her face.

''So, how have you been since we last talked? I noticed that you have changed your hair?'' She asks, opening up her notebook to the page we left off on.

''Yes'' I reply with a little giggle ''I was feeling rebellious. I've been good and then not so good. Yeah, so.'' I say with a nervous laugh and with a shrug off my shoulders. ''I've told Christian stuff about me that no one else knows, and he's told me stuff about his childhood. We've had some good, honest conversations.'' I say, and she nods as she writes everything down.

''That's good; it's really good that you're being honest with each other. You mentioned that some parts haven't been so good, care to elaborate?''

''I've cried a lot. It's been very emotional. This whole 'situation' we're in, also extremely confusing, and things are happening that aren't supposed to happen, and I just really don't know what to do.'' I say with a huge sigh.

''Mmmhm,'' she says as she continued to writing it all down ''like what?'' She asks, I shoot her a confused look, but she's not looking at me. When I don't answer she looks up at me, and notices my confused expression, she smiles. ''What is happening that you feel is not supposed to happen?''

''Ehm, we… we have this… ehm, sexual attraction towards each other, ehm and it's getting really hard for both of us to ignore it. And yeah it's getting everything all messed up.'' I say and she just nods.

''Is that a bad thing? That you're attracted to each other? Couldn't that lead to something more?'' She asks with a raised eyebrow.

''He's been really clear on where we stand in this 'situation'. He doesn't want a relationship, he's not that type of guy, he just has sex, and…'' I say while fiddling with the gigantic wedding ring on my finger that Christian gave me last night before we went to bed. He told me that his parents had questioned him about where it was. ''And well, I've only had sex two times in my life, both times with him, and I don't know about this whole sexual relationship thing,'' I say with another shrug.

''Okay, would you say that you have developed feelings for him? More now than to begin with?'' She asks, and when I think over the question, the answer becomes very clear.

''Yes,'' I say. ''He was a stranger to me in the beginning of this. I had met him all of 3 times, and we had only really talked once at coffee,'' I let out a humorless laugh. ''That's the closest we've ever been to a date. No, I guess now we have also eaten lunch out so, whatever… But, yeah, I care for him and I hate seeing him sad or confused…'' I say, while she continues to write down everything. I wonder if she's writing down what I'm saying or something else entirely. ''We were at his brother's the other day, and it didn't go so well. The two of them started fighting. Anyway, I felt this need to protect Christian, so those are definitely some new feelings.''

''Hmmm'' she says and looks up at me, while cocking her head to the side, ''do you think you're falling in love?''

''No'' I say with a quick shake of my head. ''Not that Christian isn't a guy I could fall in love with,'' I quickly add, ''it's just that nothing he has done has made me feel loved yet. He's made me feel beautiful, but no. We're still just in our first month of getting to know each other.''

''But Christian _is_ someone you could see yourself falling in love with?''

''Yeah,'' I say warily. ''I see glimpses of a Christian who is lovable, sweet and caring. _That _Christian I could fall in love with, I just need to see him more often. Right now, he is just too distant, almost as if he's keeping me at an arm's length, and he's _way _too serious for me to even consider falling in love with him.''

''That's totally understandable Ana. On a separate note, I have a form here that I would like you to read through,'' she says handing me one of the loose pages that she grabbed earlier, ''If you think it is okay, then please sign on the dotted line.'' She says as she hands me a pen.

''What is it?'' I ask, as I start reading through it.

''It's a form asking you if you're okay with me confiding with Doctor John Flynn, your husband's psychiatrist, about the things we discuss here. Your husband has already signed it,'' she says and points to the bottom of the page where I see Christian's neat signature. ''Things you tell me here won't get back to Mr. Grey, likewise, the things he says to Dr. Flynn won't get back to you. It's just that we want to help you both the best we can and collaborating with each other may benefit you both in determining where to take your therapy.''

''Okay'' I say as I sign my name on the line beside where Christian's signature is. ''That's fine, I guess'' I say as I hand her the form back. ''Shit'' I mutter as she looks at the form ''I signed it with Steele, I'm not used to the whole being 'Mrs. Grey' yet'' I say with a nervous laugh.

''It's fine, just add Grey behind Steele'' she says handing the form back to me. It feels so unnatural to write Grey behind my name. ''Okay'' she says as I hand her the form back once again. ''Back to the beginning of the session,'' she says starting a new page in her notepad. ''You said that you told Christian things about you, that you had never told anyone else. Are you okay to talk about those things with me?'' She asks, and I slowly nod my head.

''Ehm, when I was 16 my moms'… her husband he'' I say it I'm realizing it's not as easy as I thought it would be. ''He, in some ways, sexually abused me.'' I finish off, and her facial expression doesn't falter in the slightest, as I had thought it would. One of the reasons I've never talked about it, is because I don't want to get people's pity.

''What do you mean 'in some ways'?''

''I don't like the word sexually abused, it makes me rather anxious. But he made me do things to him, that I didn't want to do, to…to please him,'' I say as a single tear rolls down my cheek.

''How far did it go?'' She asks, and gives me a concerned look.

"I went to a support group for teens and children who has been through the similar situations, and compared to what they went through, what I dealt with seemed like it was nothing.'' I say not meeting her gaze.

''It wasn't _'nothing'_ Ana, or else it wouldn't have traumatized you. I ask you again'' she says slowly ''how far did it go.''

''It started with him kissing me, I didn't like it all,'' I breathe out, ''ehm, that's all that happened for about a week, then he would'' I say as a new bout of tears fill my eyes. ''He would force my hand on his…'' I stop, too embarrassed to say the word, so she nods at me to continue. ''He found out rather quickly that I wasn't any good, so he started doing things on me instead.'' I say drying the few tears that spilled over.

''Did he rape you?'' She asks, and I shake my head ''but he did other stuff?'' and I nod, not wanting to remember anything from that time in my life. ''Did he ever try to rape you?''

''Yes'' I whisper ''but my dad or… other stepdad, he came just in time.''

''Which makes you think of him as your hero?'' She asks, and I nod. ''What made you tell Christian this?''

''He said something to me that triggered a bad memory and I panicked. He was worried and I ended up telling him the whole story,'' I say drying the last of my tears.

''He cares for you too, it seems,'' she says and I smile. ''I'm setting up another appointment next Monday, is that okay?'' She asks and I nod my head ''same time?''

''Yes please.''

* * *

**CHRISTIAN**

''You're awfully quiet today'' Flynn says, and I feel his gaze on me as I just stare out his office window. ''What's on your mind?''

''Ana,'' I mutter. ''She had a fucking abusive stepfather'' I hiss through gritted teeth. ''She was sexually abused.'' I turn around and I walk to the spot where I usually sit. ''I went to see her stepfather… her other one, the one before the abusive one.'' I look at Flynn and he's looking confused ''her dad,'' I say and he nods. ''He told me that son of a bitch wasn't alive, or at least he doubts that he is alive. But fuck I want to kill that man with my own hands.''

''She's been through a lot,'' he says with a nod. ''What are your thoughts now on the type of relationship you want with her?'' I frown at him, not understanding the nature of his question.

''The same as before, that hasn't changed. I'm still physically attracted to her.''

''I get that,'' he says writing something down in that goddamn awful notebook of his. ''But seeing that she's coming from an abusive upbringing –like someone else,'' he mutters but I still hear him and shoot him a glare, ''you can't think she would agree to be your submissive, do you?'' I let out a sigh and think about it. It could help her. Being my submissive would make her feel safe, I would make absolutely sure of that.

''I don't know,'' I say truthfully. Some aspects of it would probably be good for her, while others...not so much. I would _never _do anything to make her panic again, that was the worst feeling ever.

''Does she know about your alternative lifestyle, now?'' he asks, and I nod ''what did she think of it?''

''She… asked a lot of questions, she was curious, but all in all she didn't really like it at all'' I answer truthfully. ''She even changed her hair. She didn't want to resemble any of the other subs…'' with a sigh I say ''she cut it short and even colored it blonde.'' Both of Flynn's eyebrows lift up.

''Wow, impressive'' he says with a smirk. ''What did you feel and think when you first saw her new hair?''

''Rage,'' I say and he nods, probably not surprised to hear me say this ''at myself.'' I add and this time he looks surprised. ''I made her do that. If it wasn't for me, her hair would still be the same. It's barely reaching her shoulders now, and the color… it's beautiful, but I liked it as it was.''

''Brunette?'' He asks and I nod, I've told him that before. ''Are there any other things that have happened since we last saw each other?''

''I told her a little bit about my childhood. About the crack whore and her pimp. And I told her that I was both a troubled child and teen, but nothing more than that.''

''That's really good Christian. You felt like you could tell her all that, it's really a huge step forward.'' He says while writing something down. ''I got a call from Taylor'' he says and motions to my hand.

''I don't like him butting in,'' I say.

''He worries for you,'' he says. ''He considers you a friend you know.'' I huff at his words; I don't even think Taylor likes me. ''What made you hit your office door?''

''Ana. She's starting to give me ultimatums, and so is Elena. They both want me to choose!''

''Is it a difficult choice for you?''

''Not really,'' I say. ''But, I don't want to be forced to choose. Elena and I have history, and Ana and I-'' I say with a shake of my head, not exactly sure the word I'm looking for. ''Well. We're something else.''

''So Ana wants you to stop all contact with Elena, and Elena wants the same towards Ana?'' He asks, and I nod. ''If it comes down to it, who would you choose?''

''Ana,'' I say and he nods his head ''Elena has dumped too much shit on me recently, and it has really started to piss me off.'' I stand up again and walk over to the window of his office. ''Did you read the article about me and Ana?'' I ask.

''I did.''

''That was all Elena. She told some reporter all that, and it's not even true! Yes we were both drunk, but Ana _never _told me she was pregnant, and if it wasn't for those stupid damn laws, we would be divorced now. All that article spews is bullshit, she hasn't _ever _threatened me about anything.''

''You still want the divorce?'' He asks and he's turned he chair around so that he's looking at me from his seat.

''It's what's best'' I say resting my side on the window and crossing my legs and arms.

''For who?'' He asks me with a raised eyebrow, a challenge in his voice.

''Her.''


	26. Chapter 26

**I've been really nervous about posting this, since I don't know how you will react. In my mind it's too soon, but you guys have really nagged me about it, so I gave up and wrote it. So if you don't like it, that's great because that's mean I don't have to write chapters like this. So let's see how you react to it. **

* * *

**ANA**

I walk out of SIP and see Sawyer waiting on me, like he has been for the past 3 days, since I've been working here. So far I have had a great time and everyone is so nice. My boss is something else though. He's a real mystery. I don't really understand the looks I've seen him give me and it makes me rather uncomfortable how he always seems to be lurking around the corner. He has startled me quite a few times since I've been working for him.

The first day was the worst. I didn't know how things worked here and I was feeling really shy and awkward, but luckily everyone was nice and it's just gotten better every day. Since the first day, I was really well received and I immediately felt accepted by my fellow workers. On the first day, some of the girls I work with asked me to eat lunch with them, which was such a relief. I've eaten with them every day now, either in the lunchroom or the café just across the street.

Christian showed me to my new room since I needed my clothes, but I somehow have ended up in his bed every night. Christian's bed is what I would imagine sleeping on a cloud would feel like, and until he complains about having me there, I'm sleeping there permanently.

He texted me on Monday to tell me that he would be home late, however I never imagined he was going to be home as late as he ended up being. I was already fast asleep at that point, but the next morning when I woke up I saw the note he left on my pillow saying that he had to go to work early and that he was unsure when he'd be back.

I can't shake the feeling that he's avoiding me, but I don't know what I've done to deserve that. All the conversations we've had lately have been over texts and we've talked a few times on the phone, but they have always been quick check-ups. He asks me how I am, and when I say that I'm doing well, then that's about it. Over text, he starts the conversation asking if I have eaten today. If I reply yes, then there are no more texts; however if I say no, then he sends me one more text telling me to eat. After that, no more texts, just radio silence.

Maybe I did something that made him mad? Have I asked too many questions about his past? Have I pushed him for answers too fast that he feels like he has to avoid me or answer questions that he's not ready to answer? Everything was so wonderful the previous weekend, and now everything just isn't.

Maybe he's just been super busy?

As I head out into the kitchen to see what Gail is making for dinner today, I see Christian hunched over the kitchen counter. I walk over to where he's half-sitting, half-laying on the counter, but he doesn't notice me. I rub his back slightly, causing him to jump up in surprise, which led to me stumbling backwards only to fall on my butt.

"Ana!" he gasps as he sees me struggling to get back on my feet. He helps me up, and hugs me to his chest. "I wasn't prepared for that! I didn't know you were here, I'm sorry," he says. "Are you okay?" he asks searching my eyes, and I nod my head and give him a reassuring smile. It didn't hurt it just startled me.

"You're home early," I say walking over to the fridge and getting a bottle of water. It's amazing how at home I feel here now. I look back at him, and his eyes are following me around the kitchen. "Christian?" I ask shaking my hand up and down in front of him to get him to focus on my face.

"You're period is done, right?"

"_What?_" I ask and he shrugs while walking over to me, but I hold up my hands to stop him. "You can't ignore me for 3 days, and then expect me to fall in bed with you," I say and he gives me apologetic look. "You've been like a ghost."

"I know," he says taking a step closer to me. "It has been really stressful at Grey House lately. Everyone has been working like crazy on this one deal, and we just lost it this morning. I thought it was under control, but it wasn't. That doesn't happen often…"

"Not used to hearing 'no'?" I ask, biting my lip to stop from smiling. His eyes fall to my lip and darken.

"No I'm not, Anastasia," he says taking another step towards me, and when I take one back my back hits the fridge, rattling the bottles inside. "I'm asking you one more time. Is your period over?" Swallowing the lump in my throat, I nod my head. "Thank fuck," he mutters before his lips are on mine.

The kiss is not like how I imagined he would kiss me. By the look of him just a few seconds ago, I imagined the kiss would be hot and frantic; however this is everything but that. His tongue sweeps across my lower lip, and I immediately open up for him. Instead of devouring me, like he has before, his tongue is stroking mine sweetly, like he has all the time in the world.

Cupping my face in his hands, he moves his mouth with mine, kissing me at a leisurely pace. "Come to bed with me?" He asks against my lips, and I nod my head. He bends slightly and lifts me by my waist, wrapping my legs around him. He secures his arms around my back, never breaking the kiss. We stumble into his bedroom, and he frantically removes my clothes, before stripping down to his boxers.

He pushes me down in the middle of the bed, before positioning himself between my legs. He leans down and starts sucking lightly on neck, holding both my hands over my head in one of his, while cupping my left breast in his other hand. "So damn beautiful" he murmurs, running his thumb over my hardened nipple. "You fit perfectly in my hand," he whispers against my neck. I relax as I let out a sigh of relief. That has always been one of my biggest insecurities, and he just reassured me that I had nothing to worry about.

He lets go of my hands so he could cup my right breast in his hand, and my hands go straight into his hair. He lets out a pained groan. "Ana" he sighs as he leans down to retrieve something from the floor. He holds up his tie in front of me, "is this okay?" he asks, and unable to answer him, I just nod.

He places my hands together over my head and starts tying them with his tie, while I take the time to ogle his torso. My eyes stop at the small circular scars on his chest; that I now know are from when his mother's pimp stubbed his cigarettes out on him.

I want to touch them to make him comfortable with them, just like he did with my insecurities about my breasts. But he won't let me touch him. When I've even come close to doing so, he's freaked out. He pulls at my hands and appears satisfied when he tugs on the tie and sees that it doesn't allow for any hand movement. Meanwhile, I'm just lying here, wide open and on full display for him.

Christian steps off the bed, to take in the look of me, licking his lower lip. My eyes follow the light brown trail of hair that starts right under his belly button and continues downwards, only to disappear under his boxers, which barely contains his massive erection. He slowly divests himself of his boxers revealing said erection. Now that I'm getting a good look, appears to be a blessing from above. _Jesus, how has that fit inside me before?_

My eyes widen when he takes himself in his hand and slowly starts to stroke up and down. He grows even larger right before my eyes, which makes me swallow hard. He slowly starts to crawl towards me, his eyes hooded and full of desire. He starts kissing a trail from my knee up towards my bundle of nerves, which is begging for release, soon.

When he's teased my thigh enough with the kissing, licking and biting, he starts to do the same on the other side, and I feel myself growing frustrated. "Christian…" I groan, trying to free my hands to guide his head where I need him. "Please!" I gasp as he gets closer and closer. Suddenly I feel the light feather-like touch of his tongue, and my hips buck up to meet his mouth, only for him to lean back.

"Hmmm," he says leaning down to kiss right under my belly button, "you're a greedy girl, huh?" he asks chuckling.

"Please, Christian," I pleaded one more time, earning another chuckle, this time on my inner thigh, and the vibrating of it was almost too much. Dragging his tongue along my pelvic bone, I scream in frustration. So when his tongue began lapping at my clit, I nearly fell apart immediately.

"Fuck!" He groans against my opening, making me moan out in pleasure, "you taste so fucking amazing." He lifts my leg up and places it over his shoulder, to move closer. "Look at me," he demands, and when our eyes meet, he licks up my slit, swirling his tongue around my bundle of nerves.

"Christian…" I moan, starting to feel the orgasm coming.

"That's it baby," he says sucking on my clit, biting teasingly at it, before soothing it with his warm and tender tongue. "Let me hear you," he says in a hoarse voice. He pushes one finger inside me and groans. "Christ, your clenching around my finger… you're so close, baby."

"God! Please… don't stop," I gasp as I start falling. He hums against my clit, making the approaching orgasm even more intense. _I can feel it… it's so close. I just… I need… _"Christian..."As I start to shake from my orgasm, Christian's tongue never leaves my clit, prolonging the orgasm. "Christian," I whisper hoarsely as I try calming my rapid heart after one of the most amazing orgasms in my life. He starts to trail kisses up my stomach, stopping at my nipples for a few seconds, before finding my lips once again.

"You liked that?" He asks with a grin against my lips, I nod my head, at loss for words. "I liked it, too," he whispers while kissing my lips sweetly. He rolls off the bed and a rush of panic washes over me.

_Where is he going? Especially while I'm tied up? _"Baby, I'm here," he says and I turn my head to see him retrieve a condom out of his pants pocket. "Are you okay?" he asks as he crawls back on the bed, opening the condom and unashamedly rolling it over his hardened length, whilst giving me a concerned look.

"Yes," I whisper, feeling stupid for panicking. "I'm great," I say barely audible, but he hears it and grins down at me. He kisses my throat as he positions himself between my legs.

"You have to tell me to stop if I'm being too rough," he says and I nod my head, looking him in his beautiful gray eyes. "No, you have to _tell me,_" he says holding my chin with his hand "tell me you'll say _stop_ if I'm too rough."

"I promise," I say and he leans up on his elbows, "but I won't have to." He looks at me, and with a barely-there smile he leans down to kiss me, as he slams into me. I let out an unexpected shriek, at feeling him so suddenly filling me. He stills and searches my face. "I'm okay," I whisper, and he waits a few seconds before he starts a fast and hard rhythm, as he slams inside of me, making me gasp every time.

He's groaning against my neck. The sounds that he's making, knowing it's all because of me, fills me with so much happiness. He switches from sucking and licking my neck to sucking on my ear, as he keeps his fast pace with his hips rocking against mine. "Ana" he grunts and starts kissing my jaw and trailing kisses towards my mouth. "God… _so tight,_" he groans against my lips "are you close?" he rasps out.

"Yes," I breathe, and he grinds his hips faster, if that's even possible.

"Come," he grunts and I spiral off again, letting out a high pitched moan, while Christian lets out a primal groan, as his legs shake uncontrollably. "Ana, Ana, Ana," he murmurs while pumping into me with the aftershocks of his orgasm, and then his breathing slowly returns to normal again.

He quickly releases my hands then rolls over, so that he's not resting all his weight on me, but takes me with him. My head is propped up on his chest. "Wow" I murmur.

"Yeah" he agrees quietly. Soon sleeps consumes me, but I fall asleep thinking about the best orgasm I've ever had.

* * *

When I woke up again a few hours later Christian wasn't in bed anymore. His side of the bed feels cold, so he hasn't been here for a while. Walking into his closet, I grab a t-shirt to slip on, and start my search for him.

I walk to his office, since that's most likely where he is. Knocking on the door, I open it. Christian has a look of concentration on his face, and holds up his hand for me to stop. He scrolls down on the page, and sighs a couple of times. "What is it?" He asks in an annoyed voice, so I don't know if he's knows it me, or if he just doesn't want to be disturbed right now.

"I can come back later if you're busy," I say and he looks away from his computer and smiles at me. Then he takes in my look and his smile turns into a smug grin. Rolling his chair back, he motions for me to sit on his lap. I feel more comfortable doing this now, compared to the first time. Walking over to him, I sit down on his lap, and he wraps his arms around me.

He closes the page he was on, and turns his computer off. "How're you feeling?" he asks looking intensely at me, while stroking my cheek with his index finger.

"Great," I say with a smile, which he returns. "How're _you_ feeling?" I ask and a grin reappears on his face.

"I'm also great," he says holding me tighter. "Are you sore?" I nod my head slightly, and he rests his head on my shoulder. "Sorry" he whispers.

"Sorry for what? I didn't tell you to stop, did I?" I ask, but he doesn't answer. "No, I didn't. Because, I didn't need you to." I say looking at him and stroking his chin. He jumps slightly, but quickly relaxes under my touch.

"Come," he says standing up "let's have a bath." Christian let's go of me, and clasps my hand in his as we make our way back into his bathroom. It doesn't take long for us to get undressed as I only have Christian's shirt on, and Christian only has his sweat pants and a t-shirt on. He starts filling the bathtub, while turning around to look at me, naked. "You're blushing," he says walking over to me, cupping my head in his hands. "You have nothing to be embarrassed about Ana," he says, leaning down to give me a chaste kiss.

I smile nervously at him, as he holds out his hand for me and then leads me over to the bath and helps me into it. I scoot down in the warm, delicious water. "Oh," I say as it stings a little when I sit down, but the bath smells so heavenly, that soon I forget about the pain. I look up at Christian, and see that he's staring intently at me. "Aren't you coming in?"

"I am," he says putting one of his feet in the hot water. "Move forwards" he says and the water rises when he sits down and pulls me back into his chest. I close my eyes and lean back against him, sighing contentedly. I feel him cupping water in his hand and pouring it over my upper body. "Hey" he says with a chuckle, "you asleep there?" with a shake of my head, his hand starts to travel down my body.

He starts rubbing my neck and shoulders, making goose bumps on my body. He drapes his legs over mine, opening me and I let out a surprised gasp, as his hand travels down my stomach. "Hmm," I sigh as he starts rubbing my clit. I shift on him, and my hips start to buck when he enters me with one of his fingers.

"You like that?" he whispers in my ear. I nod my head and suddenly his hand stops. I let out a groan, "needy girl," he whispers against my head, his breathing shallower. I sit up and turn around as he looks at me with a frown, probably wondering why I moved away from him.

"I want to try something," I say biting my lip, while taking in the look of him, all naked in the bath. He looks confused, and I lean over him and readjust myself, so that I'm in front of him on my knees. He blinks a few times, when I start slowly leaning forward, towards his growing erection.

"Ana," he says in a strained voice "you don't have to, I'm not expect-" he says but I cut him off.

"I know," I say looking into his eyes, which have darkened slightly. "Will you teach me what you like?" I ask, biting my lip and he nods. He takes my hand, and wraps it around his member, holding his hand around mine; he starts to pump up and down. He closes his eyes and leans his head back, still helping me pump him.

I lean forward and take the tip of his erection in my mouth, and he's eyes shoot open. "Ana," he gasps, taking a handful of my hair in his hand. I lick him from the base of his erection to the top, taking him in my mouth again. I suck him in deeper and deeper, before coming up again for air, swirling my tongue around the head of his dick. "Ah…" he grunts, clasping his hands in my hair, but it isn't painful.

It's nothing like I thought it would be. All I remember is Kate telling me about her first time giving a blowjob and how horrible it was. But this doesn't seem horrible. I like doing it, knowing his grunts of pleasure are because of me. I take him in my mouth again and manage to pull him all the way in. "Jesus Ana…," he breathes, "how far can you go?" He then starts to buck his hips, sending him further down my throat. "It feels so good, baby," he murmurs, and I suck harder, flicking my tongue across the head of his erection. "Ana-" he groans "baby, I'm gonna come, you have to…" he says and I suck him harder as I try doing something new. I bare my teeth down his length, and it pushes him over the edge. He cries out my name as a thick and salty liquid runs down my throat. I continue sucking him and licking him until his tremors stop. He takes a hold of my arms, pulling me up to lay against him.

I'm lying on top of him, skin to skin, with my head against his heart listening to the rapid heartbeats. He tips my chin up; smiling at me while leaning down to kiss me. I can still taste him in my mouth, and he probably tastes himself from me. I sit up and straddle him. "That was the first time I've ever done that," I say breathlessly biting my lip, nervous to know how it was for him.

"You haven't?" he asks, with a voice mixed with wonder and confusion. "You were fantastic baby. You have no idea how happy I am to hear that," he says crushing me against him. "You must be hungry," he says.

"Starving," I agree.

"Come, let's eat."


	27. Chapter 27

**WOW, YOU ACTUALLY LIKED THE LAST CHAPTER, THAT'S JUST WOW. THANK YOU. **

* * *

**CHRISTIAN**

I look down at a sleeping Ana in my arms. I've done this every night since she has started sleeping in here with me. Monday when I got home around midnight, I was surprised, and a little bit confused, to find Ana asleep in my bed, but pleased nonetheless.

I feel bad for the way I've treated her lately. I don't feeling bad for leaving her, since it was necessary. I didn't like leaving her, but my work is important and sometimes I don't have that much of a choice in working or going home. When important things need to be done, I have to get them done. GEH comes first. It always has and I don't see that changing anytime soon. However, I do feel bad because I haven't been home a lot recently. But I never wanted to hurt her feelings. And I _definitely_ wasn't avoiding her, in fact, I was thinking about her way more than I should.

More than once, I started to call her to see if she wanted to eat lunch with me, but immediately thought better of it. She is adjusting to a new job, and should socialize and make friends with those that she works close to. I just wish I could've seen her more in the past 3 days than besides watching her while she slept.

I cringe when I think about our time earlier. I didn't seduce her in the slightest, and almost growled at her to have sex with me. A part of me thought she would say no, and an even bigger part of me thought she would call it a mistake afterwards. I had planned to go slower, not to the point of making love, as I would never do that, but after tasting her, seeing her under me, I just couldn't control myself. I think though that I was too harsh with her, she's only ever had sex a handful of times! But she trusted me enough to let me have her and tie her up and I fucking loved it!

The bathtub, was just wow. I can't explain the feelings that went through me when she told me that she had never given anyone a blowjob before. She has never said it with words, but I had assumed that was what occurred between her and that fucker. But I was so fucking happy when she told me I was her first. And now that I know that didn't happen between her and the fucker, I feel more relieved.

I lean down and kiss her lips chastely, careful so as not to wake her. I stroke her cheek, well actually I stroke her whole face, with my hand; loving the feel of her soft skin. I run my fingers through her hair, and suddenly she flinches. She doesn't wake up, but she's frowning, and she begins breathing quickly with her breath coming out in short pants. I stroke the same place once again, and the same thing happens.

Lifting all her hair carefully, I see a red scar that starts at her ear and disappears into her hair. It appears to be healed, however, it seems rather large, but I don't know exactly how long it is because her hair is in the way. ''Ana?'' I ask shaking her. I look at the clock and see that it's only 1am, but I need to know what happened to her. ''Baby'' I whisper and start kissing her, and she immediately kisses me back. ''Can you sit up for me?''

She nods her head tiredly, slowly sitting up and rubbing her eyes, looking absolutely adorable doing so. ''What?'' She asks with a yawn, stretching her arms over her head. I place my hand on her cheek and she leans in to my touch, I trace her cheek up and down, before making my way back to her scar. She flinches slightly, but covers it well.

''What happened?'' I ask and she pushes out of my grasp, and I let her. If she needs space, then I'll give it to her. ''Will you please tell me?'' I ask and she slowly shakes her head, tears starting to form in her eyes.

''It happened a long time ago,'' she whispers, as if saying that it doesn't mean anything because it's in the past. ''It was my fault… so'' she whisper in an even lower voice. ''I… he asked-''

''He?'' I growl, ''what did he do?!''

''Like I said it was my fault. I was told that I couldn't be in the living room at a certain time,'' she says her voice thick with emotion. ''I didn't remember ever having that conversation. I probably wasn't paying any attention… ehm, he, he grabbed me by my hair and…'' she says throwing up her hands, at loss at words. ''In the dining room table, the corner hit my…'' She hides her head in her hands and begin sobbing, ''if he only would've asked me to go I would've, but he didn't and suddenly I was lying halfway across the room, bleeding from my head.''

I sit closer to her, and drag her on my lap, rocking us back and forth, trying to soothe her. I'm whispering _shhh _against her hair over and over again trying to calm down her heaving sobs. ''What about your mom?'' I ask trying to stay calm. My poor Ana. She was all alone in this house with a family that didn't care about her, and a stepfather who abused her.

''She was hysterical, she was so scared for me,'' she whispers, ''but she loved him… she told the doctors I fell off my bike, I hoped they wouldn't believe her. I just needed someone to help me, but I couldn't ask for help… They didn't do anything other than sewing it up; my mom was lying in bed with me all night, making sure the stitches remained intact.'' She sits up straighter and dries her tears with her hands, letting out a humorless laugh. ''I'm afraid to say that's one of my best moments with my mother.''

We're sitting there rocking back and forth in the bed, as her cries begin to subside.

''I was often left alone at night,'' I say after a moment of silence. ''My birth mother would have her _special_ friends over, and I was told to never leave my room… I never did. I wanted to please her, so I did as she told me to. One day this man came in, I don't remember his face; all I remember is that he was a tall man with a dark face. I couldn't make out his eyes, nose or anything, he's just a faceless man.'' She looks up at me with big eyes, absorbing every word I say. ''He sat at the end of the bed, took out a smoke and started smoking it right there. I remember that he asked me if I wanted one, but I shook my head, or at least I think I did. He was quiet then and just continued to smoke. I was lying there on my stomach, pretending to sleep, just waiting for him to leave my room.

''And then there was this horrible burning feeling on my back, it stung so badly. I cried and screamed. All I wanted was my mother and I was screaming for her. She came into the room, barely walking straight. When she saw my back, she lunged at the man, kicking and yelling, but he just shoved her against the wall, and she was out for the rest of the night… He left the room after that, just laughing. The next fucking day he was back. Doing it again until I got the rest of my scars, only this time my mom didn't react.''

I look down at Ana and she has tears filling her eyes. I drag my thumb under her eyes, trying to dry away the tears that weren't there. I just wanted to touch her, make her not feel sad. ''Did she take you to a hospital?'' I shake my head, and now it's Ana's thumbs brushing under my eyes, but I know for a fact that I'm not crying. I can't even remember the last time I cried. ''Do you have any good memories of her?''

''I remember her baking a cake, a chocolate cake. It was my birthday, and she let me lick the bowl, I was in seventh heaven that day. It must have been my 4th birthday… I also have a memory of her taking me to the park that was close by, she had been sober for a little while. Those were the best weeks I ever had with her. She was finally my mom, she was there for me for the first time. We sat on the carrousel and she followed closely behind me wherever I went.''

''She started using again?''

''_He_ showed up,'' I say, my voice full of venom, "He gave it to her for free. How could she resist it?"

''Thank you for sharing,'' she whispers, her hand going to my neck and pushing my face down to hers. We lie down under the covers, and make out; getting to know and memorize each other's mouths. We only stop when Ana can barely keep her eyes open. Once she's asleep I pull out my phone and search for the contact I'm looking for.

''Hello?'' asks a groggy voice, but I don't fucking care.

''You tell me where that bastard is, and you tell me now!'' I growl at Ray, I know that he just wants to protect his daughter, but I need to know for sure that he's dead. And if he isn't, I'm finding him, even if it's the last thing I do. ''Ray!'' I growl when all he does is sigh.

''He's dead'' he says, but I think its bullshit. He'll probably say whatever he think I want to hear so that I will just hang up. ''I promise you, I asked around and they did what they had to do before they left him, they just never told me.'' he says still sounding just as tired as I feel. ''They lied when they said he was still alive. I'm glad he wasn't though, he's either eaten or is at the bottom of the sea. It is a place no one would dare to look for him. Annie is safe Christian, I would never lie about her safety. She's the most important person in my life.''

''Thank you,'' I sigh, relieved that the fucker is dead, but I still wish I could've had the honor of killing him, but maybe it's the best this way. ''Good night, Sir. Sorry for the disturbance.''

''Don't worry about it. You calling me at night asking about this only show that you really care for her.''

* * *

**ANA**

I'm at work the next day when my phone beeps with a text saying-

**I'm home**

I don't react, as I know that it's from Christian. I wonder what he's doing home so soon, but before I could think about it further, my phone beeps again with another text saying-

**;)**

I get butterflies in my stomach, and I start counting down to 5pm, when I'm done for the day. I know what's on Christian's mind, or at least I hope that I do. I _hope_ that he wants to do more of what we did yesterday. When I thought about us just having a sexual relationship, I wasn't that interested. I didn't think I could do it, and I definitely didn't think I could ever let him fuck me. All I had wanted was for him to make love to me. But yesterday? Yesterday was effing amazing! I've never felt anything like that before.

''Ana?'' I look up when my boss appears in the doorway to the copying room. It's only 2 minutes till 5 now, and I know that Sawyer is already outside waiting for me. ''Do you want to join us at the bar across the street? It is sort of a Friday tradition to get drinks with fellow workers, but since so many is busy tomorrow we changed it to today, you in?''

''Ehm, I can't,'' I say feeling uncomfortable, ''I need to get home, sorry. Maybe another time?'' I ask, and he starts following me back to my desk where I start to collect my things.

''Definitely!" he say confidently. ''Good bye, Ms. Steele'' he says..

''Bye, Mr. Hyde'' I say back and start walking out to the car, giddy to go home.

The ride home seems longer than it ever has before. The traffic wasn't holding us back, but for some reason it just took us ages to come back. Walking a little faster than I normally would, I headed towards the elevators and I hit the button 3 times, just to make sure I hit it. It took forever for the elevator to come down and then took equally as long to take me back up.

When the elevator doors open, I'm greeted by Christian, who is standing next to a tall blonde woman in her forties. She has her hair is in a tidy bun on top of her head, and she's wearing a knee length skirt with a white blouse. ''Anastasia, I would like for you to meet Dr. Greene'' he says as I walk out of the elevator before the door closes again. ''Dr. Greene this is my wife, Anastasia.'' As soon as the word 'wife' leaves his mouth she starts gaping at me with huge eyes.

''Nice to meet you'' I say shaking her hand. ''Are you here to look at my foot?''

She looks down at me feet with a frown on her face. ''No,'' she says looking at Christian, who she is clearly annoyed with.

''Dr. Greene is the best ob-gyn in Seattle,'' Christian says, and now it's my turn to be confused. ''Why don't you go to a guest room, and talk?'' He asks, and after staring uncomfortable at each other for a second, I lead her to the closest bedroom.

''He didn't tell you I was coming, did he?'' She asks and I shake my head. I wish he had, I wouldn't have been mad, as I am not ready to have a baby anytime soon so birth control is a necessity, but it would have at least saved me from this embarrassment. ''Well it's nice to meet you. I guess you understand why I'm here now?'' She asks and I nod. ''Your _husband _wanted us to talk about different birth control options, and what would fit for you the best.'' Other than when she said 'husband' with a great deal of distaste, I thought that she was really nice.

* * *

She told me about the different birth control methods, and after we talked, it was decided that the best option for me was the mini-pill. She lectured me about taking it every day at around the same time, and then she gave me a prescription to pick up my first month of pills tomorrow.

We walk out of the guest room, and Christian is sitting on the couch with a laptop in his lap. He closes the lid and stands up when he sees us. ''All done?'' He asks and Dr. Greene gives him a curt nod, the pleasant face she had seconds ago has disappeared.

''I have an appointment to get to… take care of her Mr. Grey,'' she says and shows herself to the elevator. I walk over to Christian and he wraps his arms around me.

''She doesn't like you much, does she?'' I ask and he rests his chin at the top of my head.

''No, I don't think she does.'' He says squeezing me tightly before letting me go. ''How did it go?'' he asks and we sit down on the couch.

''Fine'' I answer, before glaring at him. ''But you could've told me! Do you know how embarrassing that was? Why didn't you tell me, or better, why didn't you ask me to go on birth control? That was not the right way to do it, Christian.''

''Why are you mad? If we're going to have sex we need to take precautions, and I hate wearing condoms. It's the right thing to do, it would be very bad if you got pregnant.''

''I know, but you could've asked me, I would've made an appointment myself'' I say. ''I don't want a pregnancy either, but I just don't like looking like a fool.'' I whisper laying my head on his shoulder.

''You didn't, and I'm sorry, I won't do it again'' he whispers back, laying his hand on top of mine. I turn my hand around and entwine our fingers together. ''Are you hungry?'' I nod and he walks to the kitchen and takes out something from the fridge. ''Mac n' cheese?'' he asks holding the container up for me to see.

''Sure'' I answer. He looks around the kitchen and starts looking around like a lost boy. And then I realize that Christian doesn't know where anything is, and probably doesn't even know what he's looking for. ''Need help?'' I ask, and he turns around to look at me, and sighs in defeat. I can't help but laugh at his cute expression of bewilderment.

''Yes baby, that would help a lot.'' I find him everything he needs, and point at the different cabinets and drawers, telling him what's inside each one. He sighs once again, and walks over to the stove, setting the dish on top of it. And then he gets the same helpless expression on his face again.

After teaching him all there is to know about the kitchen, we sit down with a half burned Mac n' cheese. But since Christian made it himself, I won't comment. I look up at him, and he looks really pleased with himself. I take a bite, and find myself having to force it down my throat. I look at him as he takes his first bite, and have to bite my lip when I see his face contorting in disgust.

''We can't eat this!'' He shouts, and I don't know who he's shouting at, probably himself. ''Fuck,'' he mutters.

''Where's Gail?'' I ask.

''She's out till 8, I told her to stay away since I have plans.''

''Plans?'' I ask, not remembering him telling me about something he was going to do, or if people would come over.

''Yes'' he says with a smirk. ''I have some plans I need to do… with you.''


	28. Chapter 28

**CHRISTIAN**

''So…'' I say as Ana starts to clear away our Chinese leftovers. She looks over her shoulder at me with raised eyebrows. ''Do you want the question, or some cheesy line to end with the same question?'' I ask while walking over to her and wrapping my arms around her waist. She leans into my embrace and puts her head back against my shoulder. We automatically begin to slowly rock back and forth to the background music.

''I think I know the question, and I think the answer is yes. What did you have in mind?'' She asks turning around to face me. I lean down, so that I can whisper in her ear, which I know will make her shiver, because it always does.

''The balcony,'' I whisper seductively.

''What? No! You can't be serious, _people could see us_.'' She says the last part in a whisper, and looks around to see if someone heard her.

''I would never let anyone see my girl come,'' I say to her and her eyes widen slightly. ''Besides, I'll be on top, so it'll be my back that anyone could see. And look-'' I say pointing out the window, ''it's dark outside. No one besides us will be able to see shit. Come,'' I say while taking her hand and walking her over to the balcony to push the curtains aside and open the door. I then drag Ana out behind me.

The second I turn around though, I silently curse Gail. When I told her to make it comfortable out on the balcony, this is not what I had in mind. I meant 'make it possible for us to have sex outside, without freezing our asses off on the cold stone and concrete floor'. However, Gail took 'make it comfortable' to mean something else entirely. There are blankets strewn out all around, and decorative pillows on top of them. There are also candles burning around the entire balcony, with a bottle of champagne and chocolate covered strawberries waiting in the middle of the blankets. I look over at Ana, and her eyes are so wide, that it looks as if they'll fall out any second.

''You planned this?'' Ana asks looking excitedly at me. Although the strawberries and lights weren't my idea and I would never even think to suggest them, the rest of it was things that I asked Gail to put here. I nod, and she pulls me into a hug. ''I love it,'' she whisper and then her lips are on mine.

''Are you afraid of heights?'' I ask, and she shakes her head. ''Good,'' I whisper against her mouth. ''But I think we'll start on the blankets,'' I say as I start to unbutton her blouse. ''How would you like to come first?'' I ask, kissing her neck, and loving the sight of the goose bumps that appearing on her shoulder at my touch. When she doesn't answer, I pull back to look at her, and she is biting that goddamn lip of hers. Pulling her lip into my mouth and biting it gently I again ask, in a much hoarser voice, 'How?''

''Mouth,'' she whispers back shyly, and I grin against her lips. I take off the rest of her clothes, and quickly strip down to my boxers. Laying her down against the blankets, she opens up for me, without me having to push them apart. I look around for something to tie Ana's hands with, when I remember that I already changed and I don't have my tie with me here. ''What is it?'' Ana leans up on her elbows and asks sweetly but with a confused expression on her beautiful face.

''I won't tie your hands,'' I whisper, going back to kissing her neck. ''But, don't touch my back or my chest, I will stop if you do,'' I feel her nod, and I look up questioningly at her.

''I won't touch you Christian. I promise,'' she says smiling reassuringly at me.

''Good girl,'' I whisper, while starting a trail of kisses down to her breasts. I kiss one of her puckered nipples, before pulling it into my mouth, and earning a moan from Ana. Continuing my kisses down southward, I see Ana gripping onto two of the pillows beside her. ''You're so beautiful Ana,'' I whisper. I can't wait any longer though, I need to taste her. _Now_.

''Oh god'' she murmurs, bucking her hips against my mouth in rhythm with my sucking and licking on her clit. ''Ah,'' she groans as I enter a finger inside her. I can already feel her starting to clench around me, I know she's close.

''Fuck, baby, I need to be in you so bad,'' I say while pulling back to retrieve a condom out of my jeans pocket. In just one week, we won't need them anymore. I can't fucking wait. I have the condom on in seconds, and then slide into Ana. ''Ahh,'' I groan as Ana immediately clenches around me, and screams out my name. I love hearing her scream my name in pleasure. I've never had anyone do that before. Only Ana.

I continue rocking into her, and she clings to me, holding onto my upper arms, as her ragged breathing starts to calm down some. I can feel my orgasm coming, but I want to prolong this as long as possible. I slow down my thrusts, and start to kiss her neck and ear. ''_Christian_,'' she sighs as I suck on her earlobe.

Bucking my hips faster, she meets me thrust for thrust, and I can't hold it in anymore. ''God, baby,'' I groan and I feel myself on the edge of coming. Ana clenches around me one more time, and I lose control and fall over the edge into an intense orgasm. ''Shit, fuck!'' I pant in her ear and we both groan in pleasure at the same time.

* * *

**ANA**

I definitely didn't know it could feel this good. It almost seems to get better and more intense every time we do it. Being outside kind of bothered me, but when Christian started kissing me everywhere, I forgot all about the world around us. All I could focus on was Christian and how he felt against me.

Lying in Christian's arms in a post-coital bliss, with a blanket loosely wrapped around us, I feel so damn happy that I can't stop smiling. ''What are you smiling so widely for?'' Christian asks, kissing the top of head.

''That was amazing,'' is all I whisper back, and he chuckles and nods in agreement.

''I've always wanted to fuck out here,'' he says, looking out at the tall buildings that are light up all around Seattle. The balcony is almost completely dark, except for a few remaining candles that are barely lit still. I'm not worrying about anyone seeing us, because of the darkness that shrouds us.

''You have?'' I ask, and he nods his head with a smile on his face. ''You never took your… ehm, subs out here?'' I ask, looking shyly away from him, but he grabs my chin and makes me look at him again.

''No,'' he says with a shake of his head. ''We never left the playroom,'' he says. He never took them outside of the room? Not in his bed, or out here, or on the couch, or anywhere else? Really? ''Nowhere else,'' he says, as if he knew all the questions swirling around my head.

''But if you wanted to…uh, fuck,'' I say and I can feel myself starting to blush, ''out here, why didn't you?''

''I didn't have that sort of relationship with them,'' he explains. ''What we were doing and going to do was all very clearly outlined in the contract, and I always followed that obsessively. It was how I lived my life for years. It never crossed my mind to change or that one day my life wouldn't be like how it has been for years,'' he says nudging my shoulder with his.

''After the divorce,'' I start, but pause when I feel Christian tense slightly, but I decide not to analyze it and move on. ''Will you continue with the subs?'' I ask, and he shrugs, but not meeting my eyes.

''Probably, But I don't know yet. I never thought I would enjoy vanilla sex, but with you it's damn near perfect.'' He says, and although I don't know what he means by 'vanilla sex' I feel my heart swell at his words.

''Vanilla sex?'' I whisper, still trying not to analyze to deep the words that he's saying. It's probably just wishful thinking on my part, as we're both lying here naked after just having sex, I'm obviously not thinking clearly.

''Normal sex, without toys or anything, just us.'' Right now, I absolutely love _just_ us. I could settle for this anytime; sex with Christian was perfect. The way he makes me feel is so different, no man has ever come close to making me feel like he has; _ever_. I've heard people tell me that I look good, mostly from Jose and a few other guys, but when Christian says it, I feel beautiful.

''You're okay with that, right?'' I ask nervous all of a sudden. I am worried about him maybe wanting more, maybe wanting to take me into that room. I won't go into that room. I am not ready at all, I have just been introduced to sex. I don't think I will feel comfortable going into that room anytime soon. I will admit though, that I am curious about it, but I just don't want to try it right away.

''Yes,'' he whispers against my forehead. ''Perfectly fine with it.''

* * *

**CHRISTIAN**

''Come,'' I say to Ana, standing up and holding my hand out to her. Without a question, she takes my hand and stands up. I lead her over to the edge of the balcony and we look at the world beneath us. A light breeze hits us, and we can hear the rumble of engines and honking cars below us. At the railing, I pull Ana in front of me and rub my semi against her ass, until I get harder.

I drape my arm over her shoulder, laying my palm over her breast. I squeeze it and test the weight in my hand. I rub my thumb over her hardened nipple, and a soft moan escapes her lips. While I use one hand to massage her breast, my other hand starts to work on her clit. Her head slams back on my shoulder, while I circle my fingers against her. I suddenly plunge a finger inside, as I continue to work her clit with my thumb. She's so fucking responsive that it doesn't take much to get her ready for me, and I start to feel her tremble.

Pinching her nipple, I push two more fingers inside her. She groans, pumping her hips back and forth, riding my hand. Slowly I push my chest forward, making her bend over, never slowing down the pace of my fingering. I push her all the way down, till her breasts meet the cold metal railing and her ass is right in front of me. Nice.

Her body tenses, and I know her orgasm is starting. I quickly remove my fingers, holding her hips tightly in my hands, and slam forward. She takes me all the way in and fuck… I feel her spasming all around me, as she comes with a pained cry.

I'm not going to last long at all, so I start pumping into her with strong, fast strokes. I had planned on going slow while in this position. Looking out over the Seattle sky, while slowly loving the feeling of pumping in and out of Ana, but I just can't. Whenever I am with Ana, the plans tend to change and I can't control myself. I'm chasing another orgasm, this one looks as if it is going to be even more intense than the other one. If anyone can do that to me, Ana would be the one to do that. I somehow know that this will be better than before.

My blood pulses hard, sweat covers our bodies and the muscles in my lower back start to tense. I slam into her harder and harder, carefully listening to the sounds Ana makes, nervous of hurting her with my hard thrusts, but the pleasurable moans coming from her mouth only tell me that she likes this as much as I do, and spurs me on to go faster. She moans sweetly and gasp ''God yes.''

I thrust into her one more time, before spilling into her. My ass cheeks squeezing so hard, that I will probably have problems walking after this, and then I shout out to the Seattle skyline, ''Fuck yes!''

* * *

We lay down on the pillows again, trying to calm ourselves down. But both of us are failing, as we just lay there breathing shallowly. Ana is half lying on the blanket, half on me, and as we start to relax, I stroke small circles on her arm. Both of us at a loss for words. Ana starts humming contentedly, and I look down at her and see a huge beautiful, sexy as hell, grin on her face.

''How is that even possible?'' She asks, unable to hide the amusement in her voice. ''How does it get better and better, each time?'' I can't help but join her in grinning, because honestly, I have absolutely no idea. It just gets better and better, even though we've already had the most amazing sex ever. But I love that it does.

''I don't know, but I hope it continues like this,'' I say and when she looks up at me, I lean down and kiss her already swollen lips.

''Me too'' she sighs against my lips, and I let out a sigh of relief. I realize now that she wants this too. This isn't a mistake for her, and she doesn't regret sleeping with me. ''We should probably go inside, shouldn't we? It's a little chilly out here,'' she says shivering; I wrap a blanket around her and step into my jeans, as we walk back inside. Ana stops abruptly. As I look up, I can see why she stopped.

We have a visitor.

Elena.


	29. Chapter 29

**I'M SORRY, I KNOW IT'S BEEN A WEEK SINCE LAST UPDATE, AND BELIEVE ME I HAVE A GOOD EXCUSE. I HAVE FOR A LONG TIME STRUGGLED WITH REALLY BAD MIGRAINES AND NOW THIS WEEK I HAD THE WORST ONE YET, AND THE LONGEST ONE. SO I HAVE BEEN A NO SHOW, AND I AM TRULY SORRY FOR THAT, BUT I CAN'T HELP IT. **

**ANYWAY HERE'S THE NEXT CHAPTER, AND I REALLY WANT TO THANK YOU FOR NOT SENDING ME A REVIEW OR A PM ASKING FOR A NEW UPDATE. THANK YOU SO MUCH. **

* * *

**ANA**

''Elena,'' Christian says rather stiff and formally while moving to stand in front of me in order to hide me from her view. ''What are you doing here?'' he asks coldly, and I clutch the blanket Christian had draped over me tightly. She looks between Christian and me, with a disgusted look on her face.

''I can see _someone _is enjoying his child bride.'' I can't hold back the humorless laugh escaping my lips. She wanted to talk about children now, did she? As if reading my mind, Christian grabs a hold of my arm to prevent me from lunging forward. I wish he didn't though, I would really love to get in her face and discuss what _she_ did to a child. But maybe undressed and still reeking of sex is not the best time to have this conversation with her. ''Isn't it your bedtime, girl?'' She asks while looking over Christian's shoulder to meet my eyes. ''Go to bed so that the grownups can talk why don't you?''

''Watch it,'' Christian snaps at her, before turning around to look at me. He better not ask me to go to bed now. I will seriously lose it if he asks me to leave right now. ''Come,'' he says to me, taking my hand in his, before looking back at the vile woman who is spewing venom at us with an annoyed look. ''We're getting dressed,'' he says and leads me to his room.

''Christian,'' I hiss at him immediately after the door to his bedroom closes. ''I don't have any clothes in here.'' Having to go back out there, past Elena, to get into my room to grab some clothes is not a pleasant thought.

''Here, use these,'' he says while throwing a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt at me. He steps out of his jeans, standing completely naked in front of me, before pulling on another pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. He lets out a chuckle, and I realize that I was blatantly staring at his body while he got dressed. When I meet his eyes, I see amusement in them, and I blush.

He walks over to me and takes the blanket from my body. I'm biting my lips nervously, wondering what he's going to do now. My eyes follow his every move as he slowly starts to dress me. He takes his sweatpants and helps me step in them, but what he does next surprises me. He lifts my hands up above my head, as if to pull his shirt on me, but then he tickles my ribs, making me giggle and his warm, soft laughter quickly joins in. I hold my arms up once again, and he then pulls the t-shirt over my head. He kisses me chastely on my lips, ''Thank you,'' I whisper, even though I didn't need help, it was a nice gesture.

''Do you want to stay here? I can make her to leave,'' he says and I shake my head. There is absolutely no way that I'm staying here to just wait for her to leave while Christian is out there with the _pedophile_. ''Okay,'' he says, taking my hand in his once again, and we walk back out to meet her. She is now sitting at the kitchen isle, with a drink in her hand.

''Oh you're a matching couple, how cute,'' she says mockingly with an annoyed tone. ''Can we talk Christian, without _her?_'' she asks, and the way she specifies _me _as 'her', disgusts me. She is the disgusting person and yet she talks about me with so much venom, as if the mere sight of me makes her ill. It is almost as if I disgust her so much that I must be removed from her sight immediately.

''No. If you have anything to say, then you say it now or leave. I told you to stay away Elena, now you showing up and starting uproar is becoming uncomfortable.'' Christian says, and I bite my lips to keep from grinning at the shock on her face. ''I think it's best for all of us, if you distance yourself from me for a while. '' He looks back at me and says, "Actually stay away from _both _of us for awhile." I want him to say forever, because she is a disgusting and manipulative creature and I don't want her near Christian, let alone near me, but I'll take whatever he is willing to offer. It's a start at least. I look over at Elena, and she is not pleased at all. .

''What happened to you? This is not who you are Christian!'' she says and walks over to him and immediately starts to rub his arm. After only a few seconds he pushes her away from him and she looks outraged.

''Elena, what you have done is unacceptable. You went to the fucking media and told lies about us!'' Christian shouts, and she tries to look innocent, but it is a poor expression on her face and neither of us believe her. ''The media!'' he repeats louder, as if she hadn't heard him the first time. ''Do you know what you're doing to both of our reputations? What people are thinking about Ana? Ana has done absolutely nothing wrong, and yet you made her appear like some sort of money-grubbing crazy bitch, who spreads her legs for every rich guy around! You had no right to spread such falsities and accusations.'' I am stunned at Christian's passionate speech to defend my honor. I was upset that he had just let the whole media issue go so fast, as if it didn't bother him at all that people were slandering my name and portraying me as a horrible person; but hearing how much he cares, it warms my heart in a way that I know it shouldn't.

''That wasn't me!'' She gasps her voice full of fake horror and dismay that he would accuse her of such.

''Oh give it up Elena. We know who it was, and I would suggest now that you stay away from us. We've been friends a long time, but if you push me any further, you can kiss your salons goodbye, as well as my family and their connections.''

''Has she told you to say that to me? She's starting to fill your head with lies! Don't you see that Christian? She's trying to make what we had into something ugly and immoral. It wasn't Christian, don't you remember?'' She asks while taking out her phone. ''We were so good together,'' she says and turns her phone around to show us something on it.

As soon as I see what it is, I close my eyes and hide my head in Christian's side. When sounds from the video start to play, he wraps his arms around me and holds me tightly to his chest. ''What do you want?!'' Christian shouts at her furiously. This is the most angry I have ever seen him, and I feel tears start to sting my eyes and a sob breaks free. ''Turn it off. Now!'' he growls at her, and after a few seconds the sounds stops.

''See how much you enjoyed it? That's the sound of pleasure. The sound you made out on the balcony was just a whisper compared that all those times we had.'' Her words stung so badly, but I don't believe her, I _won't _believe her. If Christian didn't enjoy having sex with me, then why would he still want to continue it with me? Or… maybe he's just trying to teach me something. Maybe I'm really bad at it and he feels sorry for me. Maybe he wants to help me to stop being so pathetic in bed so that I won't be terrible for the next guy.

''What are you planning to do with the video?'' Christian asks his voice still cold and emotionless, but not loud anymore. I look up into his eyes, which are equally as cold, that are staring angrily at her. He looks down at my face, and his expression softens when he takes in my tears, and he flashes me an apologetic look, before returning his emotionless stare back to Elena, once again cold. ''I was underage at the time of that video. Without my permission, you recorded that video, so tell me, what exactly your plans with it are.''

As Christian's words register in my head, I feel so relieved and sick at the same time. He was underage, she can't use that to blackmail him, she would go to jail for that video if she tried to use it as leverage. But it is disgusting to see that she has an underage video of him so readily available. I see Christian pulling his phone out. I don't know what he's doing, but after hitting some buttons on it he puts it back into his pocket. He was underage, and although he agreed to it, it was still illegal to do what she did to him. I hope he finally starts to realize what they did was wrong, very wrong, and then makes her pay for it.

''Christian, you have lost your fucking mind!'' She says and if I'm not mistaking, she's on the verge of crying. ''You are not yourself. I think you should sub for me again, let me help you gain your control back, rememb-''

''Sub for you! I will never sub for you _ever _again, Elena. We're over. We have been for 6 years now! Get that through your head.'' He says with such cold fury in his voice. I see movements to my right and I look up to see Taylor standing there, waiting for Christian's orders. ''Taylor will show you out Elena,'' he says and once again takes my hand and leads me away from her.

* * *

**CHRISTIAN**

''Un-fucking-believable'' I shout as we enter my bedroom. I can't believe that woman. I have told her many times that her salons are hanging by a very fine thin thread and she keeps pulling this bullshit. She loves her salons, so I don't get why she continues to antagonize me every step of the way, it's almost as if she is trying to be an active part of my life, where I don't want her. I look back at Ana, and she's still standing in the doorway, looking rather displeased. ''What is it?'' I ask her but she just shakes her head. ''Tell me,'' I say.

''You didn't solve anything. Yelling back and forth with her won't do anything, it won't make her stop,'' she says with a shake of her head. ''Forget it, I'm going to bed'' she turns around and walks out of the room. I want to go after her so fucking much, but at the same time, I want to give her space. If she needs space, then I won't force myself on her. She is going to her bedroom so I have no right to follow her in. I told her she could go there when she needed space from me, so that's exactly what I'm doing. Even if I hate doing so.

I sit down on the bed and drop my head in my hands. How did this incredibly amazing day turn into such a fucking mess? I just had mind-blowing sex and I was planning on taking Ana in the shower. I love that I'm the one giving and getting her pleasure, I'm the one showing her how good sex is, and she's all mine. She lost her virginity to me; no other man has touched her, only me. I have an urgent need to stand up and beat my chest, and I think I would, if only my phone hadn't just beeped with a text.

Looking down at my phone, I see a text from Taylor. All it says is:

**It's taken care of.**

* * *

**ANA**

The second my door closes; I let all the tears that were threatening to fall throughout the whole Elena ordeal, fall. I cry for Christian. For a boy, confused and alone in the world, and who didn't know where to turn. I cry for the pain he felt when his mother's pimp used him as an ashtray. I cry for the teenage boy, so out of control and lost in this world. I cry for the teenage boy who didn't know better when his adoptive mother's friend seduced him, and did horrible things to him.

I cry for me. I cry for all the anger that the plastic faced troll has directed at me and for all the lies she has spread. I cry for letting her make me feel insecure and for making me question if I could ever be good enough for Christian. I cry because I think I'm falling in love with a man, who I should absolutely not love. A man who I don't think could love me back. Not in a million years did I ever think I would love him, it was never part of the plan. And yet, I think I'm losing myself in him.

''Baby?'' I hear Christian whispering in my ear, before nibbling on my lower lip. I can't help the smile forming on my face, and I feel Christian smile back against my lips. ''Are you awake?'' he asks and I shake my head no. He chuckles before going back to kissing and nipping my lips. ''I think you are, can we talk?''

I slowly sit up in bed and look over at the clock and see that it's only 10pm. I sit and wait for him to talk, but he stands up and takes off his clothes, all of them but his boxers, and sits back down under the covers with me.

''I'm sorry,'' he says silent pause. ''You were right about Elena, but it's all taken care of now.'' I look at him, waiting for him to explain what he means by that. ''She's gone Ana, I promise. She won't bother us anymore.''

''What do you mean 'gone'?'' I ask wearily. Surely he hasn't done anything to her, but I do hope this means he has cut all ties with her, because she's no good for him, or anyone for that matter. I may not be good for him either, but she defiantly isn't good for him.

''I mean she won't bother us. She won't get near us if she knows what's good for her. She will still be a friend of my mother's, but she won't be in our way ever again. She's out of our lives and I don't want to see her anymore.''

''You're serious, huh?'' I ask and he nods his head. ''What happened? Why now?''

''There was no way I was letting her go, while I knew what she had on that phone. Taylor took it from her, without her noticing, but she probably will figure it out any minute. I had planned on removing the video, or videos and pictures of me, but there was so much more on it.'' My eyes widen, both in horror and disgust. "She had videos and pictures of other men or boys?"

''Yes. Most of them were underage, and she had video upon video of them."

"That is disgusting. Why would she keep so many pictures of those people? It's horrible!"

''Ana,'' he sighs, his voice so full of regret. ''I also have pictures of my previous subs,'' he says wearily, and my heart stops. ''It was a precaution, I was making sure that they would uphold the NDA. It is sort of like an insurance policy. But I don't use them as Elena does, and I don't look at them either. I need for you to understand that.''

''I don't,'' I whisper, and I hear his sharp intake of air. ''You're threatening them in a way too. If they break the NDA, then you will release the photos? How's that any different?''

''I… well, uh it… I've never looked at it like that.'' he says in defeat. ''I've never shown them to anyone, and I haven't looked at them after their contracts were over. I had forgotten about them, until I saw the pictures on Elena's phone. If you want, I'll destroy them.''

''They're yours, do with them what you like,'' I say and once again, I feel tears threatening to make an appearance. ''What more did you find on her phone? I'm guessing there is more?'' I say wanting to change the subject off of his subs.

He doesn't answer for a little while, and I don't say anything else. I am still trying to wrap my head around his reason for having pictures of his subs, trying to defend him in my mind, but I come up with nothing. ''She filmed us,'' he whispers suddenly. I throw my head up to look at him, and he's looking apologetically at me.

''What? How? _No!_'' I cry out, and before I know it, I'm in Christian's lap. I don't want to be here because I am mad at him, but when he hugs me tightly to him, I don't want anything else other than to remain in his embrace.

''I'm sorry baby, I hadn't planned on telling you that. It's too much information for you right now, I'm so sorry,'' he whispers while stroking my hair. ''There's no way I'll keep in touch with her after that. I deleted the video and first thing tomorrow morning I'll have my people on the look for any other videos she has of me. Baby, I won't let her get away with this. Enough is enough,'' he whispers, now starting to rub my back soothingly.

''I hate her,'' I admit. ''I would do quite a lot to never see her again.'' I say and I feel Christian slightly shaking, and trying to muffle his laugh in my hair.

''You're giving me a few sexy as hell images in my mind, baby'' he says before holding me back so that he can kiss my lips. ''Are you okay?''

''You promise every trail of that video will be gone?'' I ask, and he nods. ''Then I'll be fine, is she going to be there Saturday?'' I ask, and once again Christian gives me an apologetic look.

''She said she wouldn't, but you never know. Speaking of which, have you picked out a dress?'' He asks, and I think back to my frustration as I was looking for a dress in the massive wardrobe Christian gave me. I'm pleased with the dress I ended up with, but it was a bad day.

''Yes, I have,'' I say and he looks questioningly at me, but I shake my head. ''You'll have to wait to see which one I chose,'' I say and he gives me an exasperated look.

''Okay, it's only 2 days. I can wait… Are you sleeping in here tonight?''

''If you don't mind,'' I say and for a few seconds I think he will say that he does mind. I want him to say that it does matter and he wants me with him, but he shakes his head and kisses my lips chastely, before getting to grab his clothes off the floor and leave the room.

**I TRULY AM SORRY, AND TO MAKE UP FOR IT, I'LL JUST SAY NOW THAT THE NEXT CHAPTER IS A BIT LONGER THAN MY CHAPTERS USUALLY ARE.**


	30. Chapter 30

**SO A FEW HOURS AFTER I POSTED THE LAST CHAPTER, MY THROAT STARTED SWELLING UP AND I GOT SO DIZZY AND GOT A FEVER, AND TO MAKE IT A SHORT STORY, I'VE BEEN ON SICK LEAVE FOR A THROAT INFECTION EVER SINCE. I'VE FELT LIKE HELL, AND WRITING HASN'T BEEN EASY AT ALL. NOTHING HAS BEEN EASY. BUT HERE IT IS, AND I HOPE YOU ALL LIKE IT :)**

**ANA**

I toss and turn in my bed for what seems like hours. No matter what I do, I just can't seem to fall asleep. I have a million thoughts, both pleasant and unpleasant, swirling around in my head. Everything has been good lately with Christian, confusing, but still good. And then that _woman_ shows up and messes things up everything we've been working towards.

The way Christian makes me feel, the lust and what I only can describe as love, it's completely new to me. And then the insecurities that Elena has brought up in me, that's also a new thing for me. I've always been a little insecure, but nothing like the way I am now, especially in regards to Christian. The ugly little comments she made about Christian's orgasm is on repeat in my head.

Gah! Why did she have to come here and ruin everything? Things were starting to clear up for Christian and I. We've started to talk more in between sex and the physical aspect of our relationship, than we ever have before. I feel like I can really trust him. He doesn't make me feel stupid for my choices or the things that I say, and he's, at least most of the time, considerate of my feelings. Of course he does some things that I don't particularly like for him to do. For example, buying me stuff without asking me first, or making an appointment with an OB/GYN, which was just way over the line of appropriate. But when he said sorry, he seemed so genuinely sorry and that he actually regretted not talking to me first. It just feels better between us now.

I can't believe that this smiling and laughing Christian is the same cold and angry Christian Grey that I woke up married to just a few weeks back. So much has changed in such a short amount of time.

There's a soft knock on my door, and I sit up and wait for the person on the outside to open it. It takes a few seconds before I hear the person start to walk away. I jump out of bed, in only my panties and Christian's t-shirt, and run towards the door. Opening it up, I see Christian's back as he walks away from my door, but as soon as I open the door, he turns around.

He walks back to where I'm standing, and leans on the wall next to the door, as I lean in the doorway. We don't say anything, just stand there and look at each other. His mouth keeps twitching, as if it doesn't know whether or not to keep the frowning pout on his lips or to break into a smile. I smile at him, feeling slightly uncomfortable just staring at each other.

Without me registering what's about to happen, Christian cups my face in his hands, and pushes me all the way back into the room until my knees hit my bed. He then carefully lowers me down, before crawling over me.

Kissing Christian is like nothing I've ever felt before, and it's never the same. Each time we kiss, it's different because he's always adding new elements to our kisses. He likes nipping and licking on my bottom lip, before biting down gently on it. Out on the balcony I had to stop myself from giggling when he sucked on my tongue. That was something he hadn't done before, and I wasn't prepared for the new sensations.

Christian plunges his tongue inside my mouth, and all my worries disappear. I fist my hands in his hair, and he groans, before going back to pulling on my upper lip gently with his teeth. ''Come to my room?'' he asks against my lips, but never stops kissing me.

''I'm tired,'' I whisper back.

''It's okay. Just let me hold you while you sleep,'' he says before leaning back to look at me questioningly. Before I even nodded my head once, he has me in his arms and into his bedroom. He lays me down on the middle of his bed, as gently as he did in the guestroom, before also getting in himself, and then pulls me to his chest and spoons me. I turn my head back to look back at his face, and his lips find mine in a sweet and gentle kiss. ''Good night,'' he murmurs against my lips, as he ends the kiss.

''Good night'' I say through a yawn, before falling asleep.

* * *

''Good morning, Ana'' Claire, the receptionist, greets me as I walk through the front doors. ''Mr. Hyde called and said he's running late.'' She looks in the drawer for something before laying a manuscript on the table. ''He wants another copy of this one, and he also has a few other manuscripts he wants certain pages copied of, you'll find them on his desk. Then, he wants your input on those copied pages. He's been stuck with it for awhile now, '_can't make up his mind',''_ she whispers cupping her hands over her mouth. I grab the manuscript off the desk and take a quick look at it. It doesn't seem that long, and it'll be easy to make a copy of it. ''Finally, he wants coffee on his desk when he gets here,'' she says while smiling sweetly at me.

Claire is one of the girls I've been eating lunch with, and I really like her company. She's sweet and funny, and I've never seen her without a smile on her face. ''When is he coming?'' I ask, so that I know when to have his coffee ready. She gives me an apologetic look, before smiling again.

''He didn't say,'' she say and types in something on the computer in front of her. ''He called about 10 minutes ago, and he has that meeting at 9, so after 10 maybe? I wish I could help more than that...'' she says before looking back at me.

''No, that helps a lot, thank you.'' I say smiling back at her. Just to be sure, I decide to have the coffee on his desk at 8:45 and then change it 9:55 if he hasn't arrived yet. Sometimes, he's in a really bad mood in the morning and it makes me a little nervous. On my first day, I was so anxious and he just seemed _pissed,_for no apparent reason_._ But I'm getting used to him and his moods now. However, I still get weird vibe from him, but just not as much.

''Have a good day Ana,'' she says as I start to walk away from her. ''Lunch today?'' She asks and I nod my head in response. I love that she doesn't just assume that I'm eating lunch with her, but instead she invites me to lunch every single day. I need to invite her one of these days.

I put a pot of coffee on, before making my way to Jack's office in order to get the other manuscripts. Then, I make my way down to the copy room. As I open the manuscript that he wants me to copy, I can clearly see that it's Jack's. He has written down things all over it, and quite frankly it's become a mess. There are words written on the side of the page and in between chapters, it's almost impossible to read. No wonder he wants a new copy. There's no way I can copy this one though, I will have to see if he has another copy of it, or maybe if I can reprint it from his computer? Because honestly, it won't help him to just copy this.

I start opening the marked pages and begin to make copies of them, as my phone beeps with a text.

**Its gone baby, have a good day. **

I smile and let out a relieved sigh. It's from Christian, the video or _videos_ are gone. I won't have to worry about her doing something with them. Who does something as sick as that? Films a couple having sex in the privacy of their home? It makes me sick just thinking about her standing there with her phone between the curtains, and seeing what we were doing. And knowing what she did to Christian as a child, and that maybe she did things to other children disgusts me. It all makes me sick to my stomach.

**THANK GOD **

I send back to Christian, before walking back over to the copier and taking the pages I brought down, along with the newly copied ones. I walk back to Hyde's office and sit down to start looking over the pages and writing down my opinions of them. I don't know if that's what he wants because he never specified, but I hope it is.

* * *

I look over at the clock and see that it's now closer to 10. I walk over to the lunch room, and put on a new pot of coffee because he'll probably be here any second now.

''Miss Steele,'' I hear from behind me as I set down the hot cup of coffee on his desk. I almost spill it because he startled me as I didn't hear him approach my desk.

''Good morning, Mr. Hyde. Good meeting I assume?'' I ask as I take in his surprisingly happy expression. Well, as happy as _he_ can get.

''I guess you could say that,'' he says sitting down at his desk. I hand him the copies and he looks at them, and sighs. ''Good, we'll go through them soon,'' he says. I know I'm just an assistant, and normally assistants don't do editing, but I feel like because of this opportunity he gave me, I can really show him what I can do.

I hand him the other manuscript he wanted copied, and a look of horror washes over his face, before it disappears just as quickly. ''You wanted another copy of this one, correct? Because of all the writing, it would make it difficult to read, so do you have it on your computer or-''

''No.'' he says coldly and grabs it out of my hands, before locking it away in his drawer. ''You are not to look through what I don't want you to look at. Is that understood?'' He asks and I just nod my head.

''I'm sorry, I was under the impression that you wanted that copied also, I guess I must have misunderstood.'' Claire told me I was supposed to copy it, didn't she? She even handed it to me herself. How confusing.

''You did.''

''Ready for lunch?'' I look up and see Claire standing in the doorway of Jack's office. He huffs angrily before dismissing me. ''Lunch room, or diner?'' She asks, as I grab my purse.

''The diner,'' I say, and with a smile, she nods her head in agreement. ''I need to check my balance at an ATM first, is that okay with you?'' I ask, and she nods her head. ''Only you and I for lunch today?'' I ask when no one else meets us at the entrance to the building.

''Nope, everyone else is busy,'' she answers. We walk to the closest ATM a few stores down from the diner. I don't think I have too much on there right now, as I've just started to pay off my student loans, I actually shouldn't be going out for lunch, but I love bonding with my new co-workers over food and laughter. ''Holy shit!'' I hear Claire say from behind me. I turn around to see what it is, when I notice that she's looking at the screen on the ATM.

I look back at it, and this time I mutter ''Holy shit.'' There's no way that this is correct. I cancel it, and put my card in and enter my PIN one more time, and the same results appear.

''You have over _one hundred thousand_ _dollars_ in your bank account?!'' She says loudly, and I shush her. I look back to see the number once more, and still doesn't change. I guess it must be true. That is not money that belongs to me, I don't know where it has come from… But then I suddenly realize that I do know where it came from.

''I'm so sorry, I need to go and talk to… someone. We'll eat Monday okay? Sorry, I need to fix this,'' I say as I start to run over to where I know Sawyer have been waiting for me every day. ''Drive me to Christian. Now.'' I say as I buckle my seatbelt in the car.

* * *

I head up the elevator, and Sawyer jumps in right before the door closes. He doesn't say anything, he just stands there looking straight ahead. When the doors open, I jump out and start for Christian's office door. I reach for the door knob when someone behind me says, ''Miss you can't go inside there without an appointment.'' I turn around and recognize the girl from the day of my interview with Christian, Olivia I think her name was. I don't care what she says, I need to talk to Christian right now. ''Miss!' she hisses when I turn back to the door.

''It's okay,'' I hear Taylor say, ''just walk in Mrs. Grey.'' He called me Mrs. Grey? He _never_ does that, it's always Ma'am or miss, never 'Mrs. Grey'. I open the door and Christian looks up with a confused look on his face, before a slow smile appears. When he takes in the look on my face though, the smile quickly disappears.

He stands up and starts to open his mouth, when I cut him off. ''I am not your whore!'' I yell at him, and I'm sure the people outside can hear me. ''I am not your little toy, and if that's what you want from me, then I'll move out!''

''Anastasia…'' he says warily, holding his hands up in front of him as if to say 'I come in peace'.

''Don't you ever make me feel like this ever again!'' I say and sit down on the couch. I lean my head back, and will myself not to start crying.

''Can you at least tell me what I've done to warrant this anger?'' Christian asks. I look up at him and he's leaning against his desk, still looking confused and a little bit annoyed.

''Are you paying me for sex?'' I ask him, crossing my arms over my chest. His eyebrows shoot up.

''What?!'' He asks loudly. ''What is this about?''

''The money, Christian. You have transferred over 100, 000 dollars into my account, and when I checked, it showed that you started giving me money on Wednesday. And what was Wednesday?'' he lets out a sigh, and sits down beside me. ''The day we started sleeping together, so tell me, Christian, are you paying me for sex?''

''How can you even think that?'' He asks, calmly and seemingly still angry. ''Anastasia'' he sighs again, ''you started talking about paying off your student loans and I just wanted to help you.''

''There it is again, you doing stuff like this without _talking_ to me! We need to have some communication between us, or this will all go to hell. How many times do I have to ask you to tell me stuff like this?''

''I know. I just didn't think Ana, I've never had to tell someone what I did with my money before. And no one ever questioned my reasons once the money was received so I just didn't think to tell you. If I knew you would react like this, I would've told you before I did it. You couldn't have stopped me from transferring the money, as I would have done it anyway, but I wish I had let you know beforehand.'' He turns so that we're face to face, and holds my chin in his long fingers. ''I would never pay you for sex Ana, you're the furthest thing from a whore. I don't even know how you could think anything like that.'' He starts to lean in to kiss me when I shake my head.

''What do you want with me?'' I whisper, blinking away a few tears. ''Because I don't think I can do this anymore Christian. You can be so nice and kind to me and then we have sex. Wonderful sex. But then when we don't have sex or neither of us is _trying_ to have sex, you're avoiding me. You keep me in the dark about everything even if it concerns me also… I feel like a toy, that you sometimes take out of the closet to play with, but once you're done, you set it back in the closet and forget all about it.'' This time my tears spill over and I feel tears running down my cheeks.

''You feel like that?'' He whispers, his voice has a hint of horror in it.

''Sometimes,'' I mutter, looking down at my shoes. ''You're here half the day, and then you're in the office at Escala once you get home. I see you maybe a few times a day, and then in the middle of the night, you get out of bed and don't return for hours. You can't even stay with me at night? What's that about?''

''This is my life Anastasia, I spent a lot of time building this company from scratch-''

''I know Christian, and I'm so proud of you for that.'' I can see a smile tugging at his lips. ''That's truly amazing, but I want more.''

''More?'' He whispers while gasping. ''Ana I,'' he says with a shake of his head.

''Then what do you want with me? If I'm in the way, then I can move. We're getting a divorce right? There's no need for me to live with you. If you don't want me there than I can leave, okay?'' I sit there not looking at him, waiting for his answer, afraid of what that answer might be.

''You wanna know what I want with you?'' He asks and I nod my head slowly, ''you want to know what I should tell you? Or the truth?''

''The truth,'' I whisper, my voice breaking, and I'm terrified of what his answer is going to be.

''The truth is...I. Don't. Know!'' he says looking intensely at me. ''I know that I should leave you alone, Ana. It's wrong of me to keep asking you for sex, but I can't seem to keep my distance from you. If,'' he says swallowing loudly, ''you want to move, then I'll-'' he takes another deep breath, ''I'll let you. But if you want to stay, baby, then please _stay_. But don't expect me to be a gentleman around you. Because when I see you, all I want to do is fuck you and forget about everything but us. You always feel so amazing,'' he says, his eyes darkening.

''Christian, I,'' I say, drying my tears away. ''I don't know what I want. I need time to think,'' I say and before he can stop me, I leave his office.

Sawyer drives me back to SIP, and I know that it was wrong of me to leave like that. Jack will probably be pissed. I hope Claire told him something, but I know that whatever he decides after today, I'll have to oblige. If this little stunt of mine cost my job, then I'll have to deal with the consequences.

* * *

**CHRISTIAN**

A whore. How the _fuck_ can Ana believe that I think of and treat her as a whore. It just doesn't make any sense. How have I let her feel like that? Okay, maybe transferring that large amount of money to her bank account wasn't the smartest idea. But it was never my intention for it to be _sex_money. Does she really think that low of herself?

When she said she wanted more, it was like my world stopped. It was the word I was dreading to hear from her, because I know I can't give it to her. But I don't want her to leave either. Hearts and flowers, how do you even do that? It all just seems so complicated. Sure, I can spend time with her in and out of the bedroom and I can fuck her all the ways she wants to be fucked, but if she wants lovemaking, I don't know if I would be able to give her that.

Thinking about fucking Ana hard and fast, turns me on so much. Thinking about the ways I've fucked her so far, and all the ways I have left to show her...Jesus it makes me hard just thinking about it. But making love? Slow and sweet, that doesn't appeal to me. I can't help for it, do you even get the same amount of pleasure out of it?

Well I guess you never know until you try it. Vanilla sex never appealed me, and I would never have done anything like that with my subs, it just wouldn't have worked out. But with Ana, she's different. She's so innocent and inexperienced and I need to be gentler with her. Taking out the BDSM whip and hitting her, would scare her away, and I just can't let that happen. We still have 5 more months to go and I don't want her to leave early.

I step out of the elevator at Escala, and head for the kitchen. That's where I have found Ana lately. She's normally sitting at the bar and talking to Gail while she's working on the dinner. I don't like her socializing with the help, but I can see it makes Ana happy, so I'll let them have some sort of friendship. Not that I could've stopped her if I tried.

As I walk into the kitchen, I can see Gail cooking on the stoves, alone. Thinking back to my burned Mac n' cheese, and how funny Ana found it, a smile appears on my face. Gail turns around and looks at me with shock. I let the smile fade, as I scan the room for Ana, but I know she's not there. I can't feel the electric charge that I feel whenever we're in the same room. ''Is she home?'' I ask.

''She arrived a few hours ago,'' she says and I look down at my watch and see that it's already 7pm. I prolonged my hours at the office because I knew Ana needed to think, and quite frankly so did I. ''She hasn't left her room since, but dinner will soon be done, so she'll probably be here soon.'' I nod and walk to my room to change out of my work clothes.

A small part of me thought that when Gail said she was in her room that she would be in _my_ room. But she isn't. I change into comfortable clothes and then walk back into the kitchen. Gail puts two plates on the table and I sit there and wait for Ana to join me, but she never does. I send her a text, but she doesn't answer.

Getting up, I walk over to the guest room that she's been occupying, and knock on her door. ''Anastasia? Its dinnertime,'' I say. When she doesn't open it or answer, I knock again.

''I'm not hungry,'' I hear her say in a weak voice. It's obvious from her voice that she's been crying, or she is crying now. I start to turn the knob on her door when she says, ''Please just leave me alone right now Christian.'' Her voice is pleading with me, like the last thing she wants me to do is open her door.

''Okay,'' I say reluctantly, ''there's dinner for you when you get hungry.'' I walk back into the kitchen and I see Gail looking questioningly at me. ''I'll take mine in my office,'' I say taking the plate and leaving the room.

* * *

It's after 11pm when I head back to the kitchen, and still see Ana's plate untouched. I want to go and bang on her door and make her eat her dinner. But against my better judgment, I won't. I walk to my room, and settle in for an early night tonight.

I strip down to my boxers and get in bed. I can't believe how this day has been. It started with me being anxious to get rid of that damn video, with me beside Welch at all times to make sure it got deleted forever. I was looking at the video of me and Ana, and telling him to delete it all, so that it's no threat, nothing that Elena can use against us. There was no way, I was letting Welch or anyone else see it though. I wasn't afraid of what they would see, since I know it was only my back on the video, but the pleasurable moans escaping Ana's lips as I rocked into her...no way would I let anyone else _ever_ hear that. Those sounds are mine.

When I knew that the video was gone, I was so relieved that everything was good again. I had started planning how we would celebrate it. I at least wanted to take her in the shower, I wanted to do that last night, so I definitely will do it today. I've been thinking of Ana riding me, but no one has been on top of me, for over 6 years now, so I'm not completely sure about that position. But I would love to watch Ana's amazing and beautiful tits bounce as she rides up and down my cock.

Thinking about that makes me hard as a stone in seconds. I've never had a problem with getting hard, but when I'm around Ana or just thinking about her, it happens quicker than it ever has before.

There's no way my need would settle for my hands tonight, it wouldn't be enough. I need Ana. I get out of bed, and consider pulling on my pajama bottoms, but I don't do it. It takes too much time, time I could have to get closer to Ana. I open the door and I see them. They're right there, all perfect and round.

Ana is standing a few inches away from me, holding her hand up, as if she's ready to knock on the door, that's no longer there. I let my eyes roam over her body, she's standing in front of me in only her lingerie. Fuck, did anyone else see her like that?

''I'm sorry.'' We both say at the same time, and I drag her into my room. I slam my door shut and push her up against it. ''You have nothing to be sorry for,'' I say sucking on her lower lip, like I know she likes. It always makes her moan, and as if on cue, her hands go straight to my hair. I love feeling her nails scrape my scalp, it feels so good. ''I'm the ass, Ana, I'm sorry,'' I say and she groans against my lips.

I groan and press myself against her, ready to sink deep inside her. I spin her around so that her chest is facing the door, and then I discard her of her bra and panties. Like I did on the balcony, I wrap my arm around her and grab one of her boobs, as my other hand slides down to her ass. I rub my hand over her round and perky cheek, before I squeeze it, making Ana giggle.

I position myself behind her and run my hands down to her waist. ''Lay your palms against the door,'' I instruct, and she does it. ''Keep them there, okay?'' I ask and she nods her head, I squeeze her waist a little tighter and whisper, ''hmmm?'' in her ear.

''I'll keep my hands on the door,'' she says breathlessly.

''That's my girl,'' I whisper. I pull her hips against me, I step out of my boxers and leave her for a few seconds to grab a condom. Rolling it down onto my erection I say, ''Bend over a little more.'' She does it. Damn, she's such a fast learner; I like that a lot. I wrap my fingers in her short hair, and grab a fistful of it. She whimpers, and when I press a kiss to her shoulder, flicking my tongue against it, she moans.

I push into her, as far as I can go, ''Make that sound again.'' I command as I tug at her hair a little, and she lets out another whimper. But as I start to pull out, she moans again. I cover one of her hands with mine and squeeze it, moving in and out of her. Every time she whimpers, I push into her harder.

When I feel myself growing close to release, I pull out of her, and turn her so that her back is to the door. I lift one of her legs and she wraps it around my waist and then the other, before I once again slam into her. I have one arm wrapped around her waist to keep her in place and the other one against the door for support. I lean my forehead against hers and look into her eyes. ''Touch yourself.'' Here eyes widen, and she gasps ''Please.''

I move my eyes down and see her hand as she begins to move her fingers in a slow circular motion around her clit. ''Holy shit!'' I exhale, pumping into her harder ''Have you touched yourself like that before baby? Where thinking of me?''

''Yes.'' she gasps and I watch her close her eyes in bliss. I start to tease her lips with my tongue and she opens her mouth to allow my tongue to enter her mouth. She surprises me when she closes her lips around my tongue and sucks on it, like I did to hers yesterday. I groan against her mouth, and I can't hold on much longer.

She starts to whimper again, my mouth is resting against her and I take in every sound she makes. She starts to tilt her head face more and more to mine. I love the way she looks like this. I can tell she's close, and I stop moving inside her. Her eyes meet mine, ''You're almost there,'' I say in a whisper. ''Let me watch you come.''

Her legs begin tightening around my waist, and I grip her waist with both my arms. I start to slowly pull out, before I just as slowly enter her again, causing her to gasp. She whimpers, and her whimpers turn into moans, and then her moans turn into my name, and it only takes me seconds of pumping into her again, before we're both shaking and gasping for air. I kiss her and walk backwards to the bed, still inside her. I slowly sit down on the bed, and lay us both down, before pulling out of Ana. We both sigh at the same time. She turns around to lie on her side, and she looks at me with a tired and lazy smile.

''You good, baby?'' I ask and her smile widens, ''I wore you out?'' I ask and she nods her head slowly. I lean forward and press a light kiss to her nose. ''Go to sleep baby, we'll talk in the morning okay?'' I ask and she nods, before turning around again so I can spoon her.

I take of the condom and wrap it before throwing it on the floor. I'll take it tomorrow. I'm too comfortable next to Ana to deal with it now. I press a kiss to Ana's shoulder, before I also fall asleep. I know I'll sleep like a rock tonight.


	31. Chapter 31

**SORRY FOR THE LONG WAIT, BUT I HAVEN'T BEEN HOME FOR SOME WHILE NOW. I'M ALSO STRUGGLING WITH THE NEXT CHAPTER, SO I DON'T KNOW HOW LONG IT WILL BE BEFORE I POST THAT . **

* * *

**ANA**

I'm half-lying on top of Christian, like I have most mornings now. My head is against his chest, while his arm is draped around my shoulder. My legs are in between Christian's, and my other hand is entwined together with his. I know Christian is awake, I can feel it as he rubs circles on my back and my knuckles. But I don't want to wake up yet. I just want to stay here like this for a little while longer. I love feeling close to Christian like this.

''That smile says you're awake,'' he whispers, and I let out a soft groan. ''Morning baby,'' he says before kissing the top of my head. I open my eyes, and look up into his beautiful silvery gray eyes. He smiles down at me, and I slowly, and reluctantly, start to sit up.

''Have you been watching me sleep?'' I ask through a yawn.

''I could watch you sleep all day,'' he say seriously. ''Did you sleep well?'' he asks turning so that we're face-to-face, I nod my head and he smiles. ''Me too… I always sleep well with you,'' he says, and for a moment, I can see a frown on his face, but it's gone just as quickly as it arrived.

''We need to talk today Christian, _before_ the coping together ball. We need to figure some things out,'' I say biting my lip. I don't want ruin his good mood, but he just nods his head.

''I agree,'' he says taking my hand, ''but first we need a shower.'' A shower? With Christian? We've had sex a few times now, but I haven't had the time to inspect his naked body. I nod my head and he stands up in all his naked glory and I can't help but stare at him as he enters the bathroom.

I follow him into the bathroom when I hear the water being turned on. I see Christian standing under the hot stream of water, and he's whistling as he starts cleaning his hair. Seeing Christian like this makes me smile. This Christian and the serious CEO Christian are worlds apart.

I enter the shower and he makes space for me under the big shower head. I take in his whole body, starting at his chest and then moving on to look at his abs. He must work out a lot. When I look down at his crotch, I see what he has planned for us now, by the sheer fact that he already has a condom on. I look back up into his eyes, and feel the need to roll my eyes when I see that sexy smirk on his face. He puts some body wash in his hands, and starts running it over my body, with a mischievous grin. He turns me around and starts washing my back too. I gasp when he starts gently running the tip of his nails down my back. He pushes me all the way against the tile wall, before turning me around once again. I shudder slightly from the cold connection of the wall on my back.

He lifts me up and I wrap my leg around his middle, and fasten my ankles together on his lower back to hang on. I slide my arms around his neck, my fingers going into his hair. And for a few seconds, we just stare at each other; without moving or saying anything, we just stare. He looks so beautiful like this. His hair is wet and clinging to his face, he has small droplets of water on his eyelashes, and he's just so gorgeous. His lips seem soft and wet, so I lean forward to kiss him. He's still for a few moments after my lips touch his, but then he's kissing me back. He tilts his head to the side as our tongues began dancing together.

He slides into me, and my mouth goes slack against his. I close my eyes as he pulls slowly back and then pushes inside me again. I groan with every thrust he makes and he nuzzles his cheek against mine. Right now, in this moment, everything is wonderfully perfect. We've never been this intimate with each other before. His arms go under my thighs, and somehow he lifts me even higher.

He pulls out, before slamming inside once again, this time much deeper than before. My head falls back, and if it weren't for the amazing feeling from having Christian inside me, my head hitting the wall would have probably hurt. He starts to pull out again, and it feels like we're going to slip. He tightens his arm around my waist and lifts one of my legs a little higher, before holding on to the shower as he continues his pumping in and out of me. ''Fuck,'' I hear Christian groan, but not from pleasure, it sounds painful ''fuck, fuck, fuck!'' he mutters and it's then that I realize that the shower head has popped off. But, he doesn't stop entering me, if anything, he slams into me even harder now. Although I am worried about him, the pleasurable groans he lets out, eases my worry for the moment.

I start giggling, at the water that's pouring all over us. I kiss his shoulder and rest my lips there. He starts slamming faster now, and I feel myself growing closer and closer.

''Kiss me, baby,'' he pants out, and I lift my lips from his shoulder and meets his lips. He's kissing me just like he's fucking me; his tongue working at the same rhythm as his thrusts.

I shout out his name, when I come and he closely follows behind me, shouting my name and a few other words that don't register in my brain. Still inside me, he slides down to the floor and cups my face in his hands, ''Are you okay?'' he asks while searching my face.

''It hurts a little on my head, but I'm good. Are you alright?'' I ask, taking in the uneasy look on his face.

''It… hurts like a motherfucker'' he says and I quickly stand to my feet and try my best to help him to his feet. I ignore the shower and help Christian out and onto the bed. I sit him down and start looking at his back, but I don't know what I'm supposed to be looking for. I assume though that the shower head hit his shoulder, since there's a red spot there. It looks like it hurts.

''Do you want me to call your mom?'' I ask, touching his shoulder lightly and he flinches.

''_No! _No need for that,'' he says with a shake of his head, causing droplets of water to fall everywhere. ''I just needs some Advil.''

''Okay, I'll go get that for you. Where is it?'' I ask standing up and looking at him. He points to the bathroom and I walk back in there and start opening cabinets. When I find the Advil bottle and close the cabinet door shut. I stop and stare for a moment at the shower, that has water just pouring out of the pipe.

I walk back to the bedroom, with the bottle of Advil and a glass of water for him. He takes 2, swallowing them both at the same time and then drinks some water. He dries his mouth and frowns at me. ''Do you need one?'' He asks, I take one and after I've swallowed, I start to laugh. ''What's so funny?'' He asks confused.

''What happened in there?'' I ask through my laughter while motioning at the bathroom.

''Shower sex wasn't as smooth as I thought it would be,'' he says. ''My foot started slipping, and I knew we would go down, so I needed to get your legs higher up. That way I knew you would have a good grip around me and I could cushion your fall. But I tighten my grip around your waist and it caused me to lose my balance, so I had to hold on to the first thing I could, which happened to be the shower head. Which is when the fucking thing popped off.'' He says and I can see that he's hiding his laughter as well. He cups my face in his hands, ''it hurt like hell, but being inside you felt so damn good that I just couldn't stop,'' he says, before softly pressing his lips against mine.

I look down between us, and start blushing when I remember that neither of us got dressed. Standing up I walk over to Christian's closet and throw a pair of sweatpants at him, and a black t-shirt. Then I grab the same for me. I feel like I should just throw all my clothes out since it appears that I always wear his clothes, especially when we're home.

* * *

''Who cooked for you on weekends when Gail wasn't working?'' I ask, turning around to look at him. I've always like cooking, and don't mind making breakfast today, but I want to make sure that he doesn't have some other plans. I look at him for an answer, and he looks torn about whether or not he should tell me.

''My subs did, at least if I had one,'' he says and gives me an apologetic look. I just smile, before turning back to the bacon and eggs I'm making for him.

''Was that a criteria? Being a good cook, I mean.''

''It wasn't,'' he answer before chuckling lightly, ''should've been though. Some of them were more helpless than me in the kitchen.'' I only nod my head. I don't want him thinking back on his time with them and laughing like it's a good memory. ''You okay?'' he asks, and I nod again, and give him a smile over my shoulder.

When we're finished eating I make a new cup of tea and we sit down in the living room. I don't sit down right beside Christian so that there is some sort of a barrier between us. ''Ask whatever you want Ana,'' Christian starts after I've been quietly sitting here for a few minutes.

''You've had 15 submissives, right?'' I ask, and he nods his head, before shaking it.

''I've had 15 contracted subs, but there have been others. All of them were a part of the BDSM lifestyle.'' I take a calming breath in before nodding my head.

''How long did your relationship with each of them last, _and_, when was your last one?'' The answer about how long they lasted doesn't worry me, as much. However, the answer about when the last one was is rather important.

''I didn't have relationships with them Ana. We had a contract, which is how far our relationship went… I never had one for longer than 3 months, and I would have never strayed from that, no matter how great of a sub they were. That was my limit… The last one was 5 months ago.'' I nod my head, and again let out a sigh of relief.

''Why-'' I start to ask, but I'm not sure how to ask the question. This is also an answer that I'm not sure if I want to hear. I look up at him and he looks questioningly down at me. ''Why did they all look like…'' not sure what to say, I just motioned towards myself, ''like this?''

''I feel like such a fool for ever thinking that you could be like that; like one of them. You're nothing like them,'' he says looking at with a little smile in the corner of his mouth.

''You're not answering the question,'' I say and he looks away from me.

''I need time. I need to say it the right way. I'm not ready for that question yet,'' he says. I want to point out that he said he would answer any questions I had, but I can see that he is struggling with this question.

''Okay,'' I say and he looks so relieved. ''Will you tell me how you and Mrs. Robinson got connected?'' I ask. I see an amused smile on his lips, due to what I'm assuming would be the nickname that I've given her. ''Just tell me everything, except details about your physical relationship.''

* * *

**CHRISTIAN**

I'm not sure exactly how much of this Ana really wants to hear. If there's anything I've learned about Ana from living with her and being close to her, it is that she's emotional, _very _emotional. ''Okay,'' I start. ''I'll tell you about it,'' I say shifting in my seat so that I'm facing her. ''Remember that I told you I was a troubled child?'' I ask thinking back to when we were at the Italian restaurant after our failed weekend at Elliot's.

She nods her head, not looking at me, but at the coffee table in front of her. ''As I grew older, I just got worse and worse. I was getting in fights all the time and I felt so alone and that no one understood me, even though they tried, they didn't know my pain. I couldn't bear to let anyone touch me, and I was spiraling out of control. I started drinking and got thrown out of 3 different schools. I'm sure Grace and Carrick regretted keeping me. I was just a problem for them, a constant pain in their ass. I often heard my mother cry over things I did or said. I was seconds away from getting sent to a military camp, but they gave me one more chance.

''They sat down with me, and gave me options and told me I had to get my life straight. It was either moving to Detroit for a year, where my grandparents live—my dad's parents—and help them out while also attending school. Or, stay here in Seattle and help one of my mother's friends, and continue going to school and working on getting better grades. If neither of these options helped, or if I didn't choose either option, then I would be sent away to a military school. Grace didn't want that for me, but Carrick had almost had it with me.

''I chose to stay in Seattle. I started doing gardening and other chores for one of my mother's friends. Elena.'' All the while that I'm telling her this, I'm watching her expression carefully to try and read her. To see what she's thinking and feeling about what I'm telling her. ''I often didn't see her while I was there, but sometimes I found her standing on the balcony outside her room in only her robe and she was just watching me. While I was there, she always made sure that I ate and I drank enough so that nothing would happen to me, as I was working outside on the summer. One time she came out and she had made lemonade and handed me a glass. I made a comment about lemons, lemons meaning something else, I honestly don't even remember; but then she slapped me… and after that, she kissed me. I had never been kissed before.

''It happened more and more, and one day she showed me her dungeon. I was confused about what it was, but I was turned on like hell… do you want me to continue?'' I ask when I see a few tears rolling down her cheek.

''I think I get what happened,'' she whispers while drying her tears with her hands before breathing in a shaky breath. ''How did it end?''

''Her husband walked in on us,'' I say and her eyes widen as she gasps, looking at me with so much horror in her eyes. ''He kicked me out, and the day after my mother told me Elena was in the hospital. She had fallen down the stairs, or so she said. But I know that's not true. Because of me, her husband beat her to a pulp. And _yes_, I do feel guilty about that,'' I say and she's sitting there opening her mouth a few times, before closing it again.

''What she did was wrong,'' she finally say after a while. ''I'm not defending her husband because she didn't deserve that. But, no matter what, she still did a bad thing and she should be punished for her actions. Only not that way… do you feel like you owe her something because of her husband?''

I've never thought of it like that. I always just felt responsible for what happened to her. ''Not anymore,'' I say, thinking of all that Elena has done to both me and Ana the past few weeks. She has tried hurting both of us, and also tried to chase Ana away. I've had it with her though. ''Do you have more questions?''

She shakes her head, ''No, but I will just tell you this right now so that you know that it's been said…No matter how great sex is with you, and it is very great, I won't be your submissive.'' At her words, a grin surprisingly appears on my face. She looks equally as surprised at my smile, and I reach over and drag her onto my lap.

''No you won't,'' I say nuzzling her neck, ''I want you like you are. What we have now is satisfying.'' I say grinning, against her neck, and she giggles as I lightly tickle her ribs. ''I have a question for you though,'' I say, already starting to question whether or not I should do this.

''What is it?'' she asks, leaning back to look at me. I start to open my mouth, but quickly close it again. Biting my lip to prevent it from opening as I know that what I'm thinking is a bad idea.

''For you, what does 'more' entail? You wanted more, what is it exactly that you want?''

''Ehm…'' she says, thinking about it. I look at her expectantly, awaiting her answer, and probably having to say what she doesn't want me to say. ''I want to get to know you better. And I want you to take me out on dates. I feel like you're hiding me away in your tower. You said that I would be accompanying you to business dinners, but you haven't asked me to any. Are you embarrassed by me?'' she says the last part in a whisper with her face looking at her hands.

How have I managed to create these feelings in her without even knowing that I was doing anything wrong? ''I'm the furthest thing from embarrassed by you Ana. There just haven't been any business dinners I've attended recently. But what is it that you want out of dates?''

''Going out to eat, maybe going to a theater, the movies, or something as human as bowling. I just want to spend time with you outside of this apartment; we don't need to change our physical relationship, that's working just fine. But, I need and _want_ to spend more time with you,'' she says, looking nervously at me and biting her lip.

Leaning forward, I take her lip between my teeth, and bite down on it. She leans back, to look at me, and I know she's waiting for me to say something. Clenching and unclenching my fist, I sigh and I nod at her. ''Okay, let's try it.''


	32. Chapter 32

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: First of all I'm so sorry, I've failed you and I apologize for that. I sat down to write this chapter but I couldn't get past 1500 words, so I cheated and asked for help, and got someone else to write the chapter for me. So I'm so thankful to **_''50ShadesFever'' _**for her help. And when the coping together gala is over, I'm ready to write again. But the coping together gala, is important for the books and FF's, it's nit my favorite event in either books or in Fanfics, so writing it wasn't easy. But I got help, and I'm thankful for that, since I needed it. **

**And to my fellow Europeans and ESC fans. Wasn't saturday amazing? There were a few bad songs I don't understand why they were in it, but there were many good songs this year as well. I knew from the second I heard Måns' song ''Hero'', that he would win, it's an amazing song, and I'm sure it could get big in the States too. And Russia's song, made my heart bleed and she was such a cute girl. But Belgium and Italy were my favorites, for sure :D**

**ANA**

When I look through my closet, in search of a dress to wear to the gala that Christian is taking me to, it took me all of 20 seconds to find _it_. The perfect dress. This dress caught my eye immediately and is amazing. But all the sudden, I feel nervous about it, because it looked great on the hanger, but will it look as good on me? After I put on the dress, I take a deep breath and turn around to look at myself in the floor to ceiling mirror. When I open my eyes I let out a little gasp.

I stare in awe at this new, and more beautiful, version of me. I think this dress could be worthy of a red carpet event, as it's so beautiful. It's a red floor-length gown with a V-neck and illusion cap sleeves; it's simply stunning. I brush my fingers over the velvet-cross-over bodice that approaches the neckline, which is made of hand-cut velvet leaves, which are neatly arranged to look like flowers. These flowers are even more beautiful with small red beads located at the center of each one. They strategically line the edge of the semi-plunging neckline, which curves out to lay off my shoulders, and then goes down the sides of my back to meet at the waistline.

The illusion of my bare-back begins with the curve of the flower details on the front area and then goes over my shoulder to cover my back. These flowers are enhanced with intricate gemstone detailing, and with larger sparkly leaves that make up the flowers along the edge of my body, while curlicues go towards the center of my back where the zipper runs between my shoulder blades and down to my waist. There's another set of flowers on the dress to emphasize my waist, as they wrap around it like a belt, with a fully-lined organza skirt flowing out towards the floor.

With my hair I decided to do something simple and elegant. I styled it into a vintage glamour look, with a deep part on the left side with large barrel curls, and on the right side I've clipped it back above my ear. Since I decided to have my lips match my dress, I kept my make-up natural, with gold eye shadow that has a touch of shimmer, two coats of mascara—so that it actually looks like I have eyelashes—and a gentle sweep of blush on my cheeks.

Christian has been waiting somewhat patiently outside of the closet, but I could hear his periodic pacing. I can only imagine his expression as he keeps looking down at his watch. I open the closet door, just as he calls out my name, and he immediately freezes in his pacing. I can see him mouth the word _wow_. Smiling a nervous smile, I turn around and say, ''Can you zip me up?'' I can hear his breath hitch, and I feel goose-bumps appear on my back where his hands touch my shoulder lightly. I hold my breath as he runs his hand down my back until he finds the zipper, and when he's done zipping me up, I feel a light kiss to the back of my neck.

''How am I supposed to keep my hands to myself all night?'' He asks in his husky voice, that never fails to makes me shiver. ''You look absolutely stunning, Anastasia,'' he breathes in my ear. He slowly turns me around, and when our eyes meet he smiles slightly, before leaning down to gives me a deep kiss while simultaneously entwining our hands together.

* * *

We hold hands the entire way to his parent's house. And as we get closer and closer, I get more and more nervous. "Have I told you that you look absolutely beautiful?" Christian asks, as the car pulls up next to his parent's house.

I wanted Christian to take me out on dates, to prove to me that I wasn't a secret he was ashamed of. However, when he told me that there would be around 300 guests here today, I had second thoughts about going out in public with him. Maybe this isn't the right way to start.

''Yes you have,'' I say with a smile, because I love hearing him say stuff like that. ''3 times actually, since we left the house,'' I say looking down at my dress, and I can hear him chuckle. ''Am I overdressed?'' I ask and he shakes his head slowly and guides our entwined hands up to his lips, pressing a kiss on my hand.

''No, you're not. And _that_ is the third time you've asked me that tonight,'' he looks down at my dress in an appreciative way, before a frown appears on his face. ''Every man in there will be looking at what's mine baby. I hate that. You're _mine_!'' he growls before cupping my face in his hand and gives me another deep kiss. Nibbling and sucking my lower lip into his mouth, he groans before ending the kiss. He turns to look out the window before turning back to me with a smile. ''Ready?'' he asks, while fixing my mask that he gave me.

Taylor opens the door on Christian's side, and after he's exited from the car, he opens the car door and holds his hand for me to grab to help me out. He clasps our hands together, and we walk over to where two photographers' are standing. Christian pulls me tightly to him as they take our picture.

* * *

When Christian said the party was going to be held in the back yard of his parents' house, in a _tent_, this is absolutely not what I had envisioned. This so-called _tent_ is bigger than most apartments, and actually fits well over 300 people. As we walk into the tent, I see a few eyes turning to look our way. Then, I hear someone loudly squealing my name.

''Ana!'' the squealing girl, who can only be Mia, takes me in her arms and squeezes me. ''Oh my god'' she says leaning back and looks at my dress. ''Your dress is just… wow',' she says smiling at me.

''Yours too Mia,'' I say as I look at her knee-length emerald green dress, that goes perfectly with her raven dark curls and her black feathery mask that has emerald stones on it. I look up at Christian and he's looking down at me with a barely there smile. For everyone else, it may look like he's bored, but I know that Christian does not normally show any affection, unless we're at home. I smile back at him before turning to look at Mia, who is grinning at both of us.

''You two are so cute together,'' she says before tugging at my arm, which only causes Christian's grip on my waist to tighten. ''I want to introduce you to my friends Ana, come on.''

''Maybe later, Mia,'' Christian says while not releasing his tight hold on me. ''You look lovely Mia, but there are a few people I should introduce Ana to first,'' he says and I wave at Mia as he leads me away.

I smile and engage in small talk with some of the men Christian introduces me to. There are a few business associates of his attending this event, so I talk to some of their wives and dates, and they all seem pleasant enough, especially the wives. The dates on the other hand seem to think a little highly of themselves, and some even sent me death glares, which is not too weird considering the man I'm here with. Most of the people Christian introduces me to, he introduces them as ''close'' family friends. I don't really know though how many ''close'' family friends one family can have. They all seemed surprised by me, or more by the fact that I'm here with Christian.

* * *

As Christian leads me over to our table, I see Mia already sitting there with a man, who I assume is her date. There are also four other settings at the table, but they are currently empty. Christian pulls out my chair for me, and gently pushes it back to the table when I'm seated. ''Ana, this is Sean, my date,'' she says and I lean over Mia to shake his hand. I can feel Christian tensing up beside me, but I ignore it.

''It's nice meeting you Sean, I'm Ana,'' I say and he smiles and nods. He seems polite, and they look good together. I turn to look at Christian and his eyes are narrowed, but not directed on me, but towards Sean, _''What?!''_ I hiss under my breath, but he only shakes his head and looks away. What is he thinking that's causing such a hostile response?

"So _this _is the woman you didn't think to introduce us to before running off and getting married?" a female voice asks loudly. Both Christian and I turn around to look at who it is. The voice comes from an older lady, with light gray hair—almost white—and a black cocktail dress. Beside her is an older man in a tux, smirking at Christian and jokingly shaking his head.

"Grandmother, grandfather," Christian greets them with kisses on his grandmother cheeks and a handshake with his grandfather. I look over at the elderly couple nervously. "May I introduce you to my lovely da- wife, Anastasia." I look at them preparing myself for the same reaction I got from his parents, but to my complete surprise they don't look mad. They're both smiling at me, and Christian's grandmother leans over and gives me a hugs.

"It's so great to finally meet you, Anastasia," she says while hugging me a bit longer than necessary. "Aren't you just absolutely gorgeous?" she compliments me after she ends the hug and takes a good look at me.

"You did well, son." Christian's grandfather says while slapping him on the arm. I look at Christian and he nods his head in agreement with a small smile on his face. This is the part that gets a little uncomfortable. Although we have decided to try for more, we're not really ''properly'' married, as we still barely know each other. We met just a little over a month ago! But I'm glad that Christian wants to try more with me.

After the introductions, we all sit down and Christian starts discussing something with his grandfather, while I sit there and try not to look bored. He rests his hand on my thigh as he continues to talk to his grandfather, although he's not trying to start anything. As their conversation carries on, he lightly squeezes my thigh; I think as a reassurance to me that he remembers that I'm here.

A little while later, there's a hiss from the microphone and I look up to see Mr. Grey speaking on the stage. He briefly explains what the Coping Together Foundation is all about, why it's so important for them to continue to raise funds, and how it's near and dear to his and his wife's heart. My mouth goes dry and I have to fight back tears when I realize that they started this organization because of Christian and what he went through as a small child with his birth mother. I reach for my water glass and take a large drink. I feel Christian's eyes on me as I set the glass down. I turn to look at him and I'm met with his concerned eyes.

"You okay?" He whispers, one side of his mouth twitches in an attempt at giving me a reassuring smile, I think.

I give him a sad smile in return, and I feel tears threatening to fall. I can't believe this man. He's worried about me, and I'm really touched by it, considering what this whole event is about. ''I will be,'' I say taking his hand and leading it up to my mouth, something that surprises him. ''I want to help, I want to donate to this cause.''

His lips twitch into a half smile. "I've already made a donation in both our names. You don't have to do that Ana." He says and leans in to kiss me on my cheek before laying his hand back on my thigh. It's very sweet of him to donate money in my name, but all I can think about is that money he transferred to my bank account. I told him I didn't want it, and this is the perfect way to use it. I open my mouth to insist that I make my own donation, when I hear the voice of the last person I wanted to see tonight, approaching our table.

"Grace, darling," Elena grabs Grace and Carrick just before they reach our table. She embraces Grace with an arm hug and air kisses, with a fake sickly-sweet smile on her wretched face. "I was quite surprised to find that I had been moved to another table this evening. I've always enjoyed sitting at this table next to Christian, because he normally attends alone." She says giving Christian a rehearsed sweet smile, before briefly scolding at me, then looking back at Grace.

Christian's hand moves from my thigh to grab my hand again, I don't know if he's trying to comfort me, or hold me in place so that I won't attack her in front of everyone.

Grace returns her smile, before placing a hand on her arm. ''Yes well you see, with Christian now being married, it's understandable that his wife,'' she says before turning to look at me, her face lightening up ''and our dear daughter-in-law would be seated with him,'' she winks at me before returning her gaze to Elena. ''It's been nice of you to have filled that seat in the past, but that's her seat now, and we're delighted to have her here.''

I'm really touched by Grace's words. I had no idea that she felt that way about me, and for a moment, Elena looks like she swallowed glass, and I need to bite my lip to keep a grin off my face. She quickly composes herself before plastering a tight smile on her face, and she opens her mouth to say something, but Grace stops her.

''Dinner is about to begin Elena, and we weren't expecting you this evening since you didn't RSVP, so I'm afraid you'll have to find a seat at one of the back tables. I apologize for that, but you've helped me so many times with events like these and know how important it is to RSVP, so you have to go sit with the other attendants that didn't do that either,'' she pats her hand sympathetically. ''Excuse me, but I need to take my seat,'' and with that, Grace turns away from Elena and joins us at the table.

I have to bite my lip harder to prevent a smile and laughter from erupting; the look on her face is just priceless! I glance over at Christian out of the corner of my eye, and I can see that he's looking at me and holding back a smirk. "Christian, I'll speak with you later." I'm not looking at her, but I can hear the underlying threat in her voice, but Christian never takes his eyes of me.

''I'm afraid you won't,'' he says and I can hear Elena shocked gasp. ''I'm enjoying this evening with _my_ _wife_,'' he intones and he shifts my chair so that I'm seated closer to him. He puts an arm over my shoulder while his other hand turns my face towards him, so that he can plant a sweet chaste kiss on my lips. I smile at him in return and lean into him, and I can vaguely hear the rustle of her dress, in what I assume is her dramatic storm off.

Biting my lip nervously, I turn to look at the faces of the other people at our table. I'm surprised when I see their shocked smiles. Grace turns to Carrick and gives him an expression I can quite understand, but he smiles and nods his head at her. I look back at Christian, and he's still looking at me. I look down at our linked hands, blushing the color of my dress, and everyone moves their attention back to the MC.

''Ladies and gentlemen, would you all please nominate a table head?'' he asks, and Mia starts to bounce in her seat.

''Me!'' she exclaims, and Grace jokingly hold her hands over hear ears with a little laugh.

Carrick shakes his head with a smirk, ''Mia, sweetie, you are table head every year, maybe Ana wants to try this year,'' he says and everyone looks at me, with expectant eyes.

''Ehm… I… its fine, if you want to do it Mia you can, I don't think I would be any good at it.''

''It's really easy, Ana. The only thing you have to do is guard this envelope'' she picks the envelope up from the center of the table ''everyone puts a bill of the largest denomination they have inside, with their name on it, and all you really do is guard it till the MC comes to the table to draw a bill from it. And whoever's name is on the bill wins a gift basket, while all the money goes to the foundation'' she says with a big smile on her face, and she's bubbling with excitement.

I really don't want to take that away from her, because it's seems like she really enjoys that responsibility, and I don't think I would feel comfortable doing it. ''That seems great Mia, but I'm good honestly. The job is yours if you want it,'' I smile at her and she beams back at me.

''Thank you Ana, you're the best!'' she leans over to give me a tight hug. ''I can't believe I finally have a sister!'' Everyone chuckles as the envelope gets passed around.

When the envelope gets to Mia, I pick up my clutch to retrieve a bill, when Christian grabs my wrist to stop me. I look at him questioningly and he shakes his head, ''I've taken care of it,'' he whispers into my hair, holding up two bills. I roll my eyes at him, and I see his jaw clenching. I reluctantly let him put the bills in the envelope, not wanting to cause a scene in front of everyone.

Its first then I notice the small white place card with a fine silver calligraphy that bears my name on it. My _married_ name.

_Anastasia R. Grey. _

It's strange seeing my name like that. This is one of the first times it has happened, since I still have my maiden name at work. That way I won't have to change it back when our 6 months are up. Somewhere inside, I'm hoping that trying for ''more'' will work out so there won't be a divorce, because lately being with Christian has been amazing, but I won't let my heart believe that it'll work out the way I want, not yet anyway. This is only our first time out as a couple since being married, so it's too soon to decide how it's going. But if this marriage works out, will I have to change my name?

I'm pulled out of my thoughts by Christian squeezing my hand and rubbing his thumb over the back of it. ''Penny for your thoughts?'' he asks, his eyes pleading. He looks so adorable like this, I just can't hold onto my annoyance any more. I smile and lean up to place a kiss on his cheek. When I pull back I notice that I've left an imprint of my lips on his cheek from my lipstick. I giggle and use my thumb to wipe it off, and Christian watches me with a look of wonder on his face.

''What?'' I ask, and he leans in to talk to me.

"You don't do that often. That's my fault." He says sadly, my brow furrows. I'm not really sure what he's talking about. But I try to give him a reassuring smile. ''Giggling that is,'' he elaborates, ''but when you do it makes me feel things Ana. Things I've never felt before." I feel my cheeks heat up, and I take his hand in mine. ''I love your giggles, and I want to hear them more. I'm trying my best.''

''I know you are,'' I say. He has been very sweet to me this whole evening, and I appreciate it so much, ''Thank you,'' I clasp his hand in both of mine as I hug his bicep and rest my head on his shoulder and he flinches slightly. ''Sorry, how's your shoulder?'' I ask trying not to laugh, thinking about the accident we had in the shower.

''I'm fine.'' he says and I lean my head gently back on his shoulder. I feel him kiss my hair as I watch two servers pull back the canvas at the front of the tent, revealing the sunset over Seattle and Meydenbauer Bay. This is such calm and peaceful moment, until I'm startled by the servers who appear at our table. There is one server for each person seated at the table. On some sort of silent cue they all place our appetizers down in complete synchronization, and vanish almost immediately after. I sigh and reluctantly sit up from the comfort of Christian's shoulder.

* * *

The food looks delicious. According to the menu card its salmon Tartare with Crème Fraiche and cucumber on toasted brioche. It tastes just as good as it looks. Dinner passes pleasantly, with conversation flowing easily around the table, some which was directed towards me. Both Christian's parents and grandparents wanted to learn more about me, and I tried answering every question as well as I could. I want them to see the real me; who _I_ am as a person, not the gold digger that I've been described as in the papers. Christian remains supportive and even adds his own thoughts to some things questions, elaborating on others, while holding my hand the whole time under the table.

As dessert is served, a girl who looks like she's working at the event comes over to Mia and whispers something in her ear. I can hear her exclaiming ''What?'' in a whisper, ''You've got to be kidding me!'' she sighs and groans. ''Thank you for letting me know.'' she says and the girl walks away again. After a few seconds Mia leans over to me and smiles sweetly. ''Ana, would you be willing to help me out with something.''

I'm about to ask her what she needs my help for when Grace speaks. "Mia, I don't think Ana could be to help for you. May I remind you that she's married.'' Grace looks over at me, and when she sees the confused expression on my face she elaborates ''Every year there's a dance auction were single women are a part of, but you're not a single woman.''

''She's not attending,'' I hear Christian say from beside me, I look at him and he's glaring at Mia.

''Christian it's just an innocent auction. See how amazing Ana looks, she's perfect! We would raise a lot of money.'' I turn my head back to Mia, starting to feel the panic rising. I don't want to say no to Mia, but it doesn't seem like something I could help with and would make me feel very uncomfortable.

''Not happening.'' he says harshly before looking away.

Her smile drops with a pout replacing it. "I was trying to fill the spot Christian. Look how amazing she looks in that dress, and…''

''I suggest you drop it now Mia, Anastasia is not entering the auction. I'm not letting other men bid on my wife. End of discussion.'' he hisses.

I don't think Christian has ever talked to Mia like that before, as she looks completely shocked and hurt by his harshness. I hate that I'm the reason for the tension between these two right now. Just as I'm about to say something, Mia abruptly stands up with tears glistening in her eyes, ''It's just a dance Christian, and it's for charity,'' she says as a few tears fall down her cheek. ''Excuse me,'' she turns and rushes out of the tent. I feel awful about this, I see both sides of the issue, and I know Mia didn't mean any harm.

I need to find Mia and make sure she is alright. Christian starts to stand up at the same time as I do, a guilty expression written all over his face. I place my hand on his arm and try to push him gently back down to his seat, ''I'll do it.'' He seems to think it over for a little while, before he sits back down and nods up at me.

I take off in the direction that I saw Mia go, and I find her not far outside of the tent, behind a tree. When I approach her, I see that she's furiously blinking and waving her hands at her eyes in what I assume is her trying to stave off the tears and not ruin her makeup.

I sit down next to her, and start to apologize on Christian's behalf and explain why it wouldn't be a good idea for me to be in the auction. I tell her that even if I weren't married, I wouldn't feel comfortable doing something like this. I also tell her that if the situations were reversed, I wouldn't like Christian enter the auction either. I think after the talk we had, she really gets it and she engulfs me in a tight hug.

''Is everything okay out here?'' I look up and see Grace coming towards us, and both Mia and I stand up and nod our heads.

''Yes, everything is great.'' I say smiling at Mia and she grins back at me, so much joy in her eyes. ''I was wondering if I could ask you something Grace?'' I ask, and she looks between Mia and I confused before nodding her head for me to continue. ''I have some money that I would love to donate. I think this is a wonderful foundation,'' as I say that I can see sparkles in Grace's eyes as she smiles and nods her head in agreement ''how would I do that?''

''There are several ways to do that, but hasn't Christian already donated for both of you?" she says with a questioning smile on her face.

''I recently got some money by a mistake, and the person won't take the money back. I can't think of a better use for it. I want to do this'' I say and I can see a knowing smile on Grace's face.

''Hmmm'' she says with a smirk, ''this person wouldn't happen to be my stubborn son, would it?'' I look down at my dress and nod my head, unsure how she will react about me wanting to get rid of Christian's money. After a few seconds with no one talking I look up at her, and she still has that questioningly look on her.

''I'm starting to pay off my student loans, and Christian wanted to help me, and without talking to me he transferred the money to me. I tried telling him that paying off my loans by myself was important to me. I worked hard to get through college, including working a part-time job every year, and I want to do this for myself. He didn't know me until a few weeks before graduation, so it isn't his responsibility to pay them off. And now that I know what Coping Together is all about and why you started it, I couldn't imagine a better thing than to donate the money for this cause. Would a donation be acceptable in place of me participating in the dance auction?''

''That's very generous of you, and of course I'll accept your donation. But will you take some words of wisdom from someone that's been married for over 30 years?'' I nod my head, and she look over at Mia and Mia quickly excuses herself. ''I understand your reasons, but I would suggest that if he continues to push the money issue, you may want to reconsider. I was the same way, I felt the same way as you do, when Cary and I got married. We had a few or a little bit more than a few, unnecessary arguments between us, and like you I was determined to do it all on my own. Eventually I realized that with marriage comes the sharing of responsibilities, along with everything else. There is no 'this is your bill and this is mine' or 'this is your burden, this is mine' and so on. When you enter a marriage, you will have to share everything, on good and bad. And when you take out the petty fights over finances, chores and things like that, you'll find yourself with a much happier marriage.''

She leads me back to the bench where Mia and I sat, and she takes my hands in hers ''if my less than welcoming introduction has anything to do with you not accepting the money, please don't let it. I really can't apologize enough for my behavior in the start, especially when I've been in your shoes. The fact that Christian of all people had gotten married was a huge shock. We've had this unhappy son for years Ana, and now he's smiling, he seems happy. And that's all you; you've brought light into my little boy's life. Thank you,'' she says, with a few tears threatening to fall from her eyes, she hugs me, and I hug her back.

Her advice made sense, but there is this possibility that in a little bit under 5 months, I won't get to see Christian anymore. What will she think of me then? And the things she said about Christian finally being happy, is that true? Is being with me, making him happy? I didn't know I had that much of an impact on him. I know that being with him, and seeing the true Christian Grey, is one of the best things I've ever felt, but does he feel the same way about me?

I agree for now with her, just to simplify things. She then asks how much I wanted to donate, so that she could add it into the final total when they announce it at the end of the night. When I tell her the sum, she chuckles lightly. She also informs me that I could either mail or give her a check during the following week. ''Well I think we should get back in there now, the gift auction will be done about now, and it'll be time for the first dance Auction.''

* * *

When we arrive back at the table, we hear the crowd applauding for the winners, and I see Christian and Mia engulfed in a hug, with a huge smile on Mia's face after Christian whispers something into her ear. She leans back and nods at him, before kissing him on the cheek and looking over his shoulder at me. Christian turns around, and Mia sits back down in her seat.

I walk over to him, and his holds out his arms for me to walk into. He pulls me into him, kisses my temple and whispers, "Thank you for going after her.''

''I didn't mind, we had a nice talk,'' I whisper back and he nods his head. ''I explained and she understands now, although your answer was rather harsh,'' I say and the look of regret is back on his face.

''I know, and I apologized to her. But I'm glad you had a talk with her,'' he backs away and helps me into his seat before taking his own, and drapes an arm over my shoulder.

As the auction carries on, Christian's fingers keep a constant contact with my skin, brushing up and down, and in random patterns all over my arm, sending a tingling sensation to my core, making me throb. I've been trying to ignore it and pay attention to what's happening on the stage, but I'm about to burst. I can't help it anymore, and as I take a glance at Christian, I can see him smirking. He knows exactly what his touch is doing to me, that bastard! Well, two can play that game, and now it's on.

I casually place my hand on his lap, and slowly move it up until I find what I want. I'm surprised to find him already fully hard under my touch. He's turned on too? What has him turned on? Does touching me do that to him, or is he imagining what he wants to do to me? Or maybe both? Whatever it is, I take full advantage of it, and caress him, letting my fingers explore. He gasps slightly and he moves his hand to cover mine, but he doesn't stop me. I'm amazed at his control as he continues to grow under my hand.

When the bidding comes to an end and the last lot is a week stay at his parents' house in Lake Adriana, Montana, everyone is clapping and cheering as it sells for $100,000. Christian lean into me, he's mouth near my ear and his voice husky ''Mission accomplished, Ana. You've gotten me so fucking hard; I need to be inside you. Is that what you want, baby?'' his voice deep and husky and his breath hot as it blows in my ear and along my neck. Making my insides clench and all I can think is, _Yes! That's exactly what I want, what I need._

My response comes quickly and breathy, ''Yes please.''

His eyes dart quickly over to mine, dark and heated with a little bit of shock underneath. He opens his lips slightly and takes a slow and measured breath. ''As soon as the First Dance auction ends, I'll fulfill your request. I also want to show you something, and it'll give you the opportunity to learn a little more about me, that you wanted, correct?''

I grin wholeheartedly and nod my head in excitement, ''I can't wait.'' I lift my free hand to cup his cheek and he leans in to kiss me. And I kiss him, like really kiss him, and we keep it just on the edge of indecent to show my appreciation to him. I know he's really trying, and I think he wants to give me 'more' as he calls it, and I don't know whether I should be happy or scared that my feelings towards him are developing so quickly. I just hope I don't get burned in the end.

The clearing of a throat break us apart, I giggle out of embarrassment, and Christian chuckles. I drop my hand and turn my head to find the MC standing next to our table, and everyone else watching us, looking so happy. I hide my face, and once again I blush the color of my dress. I shouldn't be embarrassed for kissing my husband, so with a shrug, I look up at everyone with a smile and a giggle. Christian gives me one of his rare grins, those that he normally only shares with me—especially in private—and he leans down to lift my hand from his erection.

The MC asks for the envelope, and then asks Grace to pull out the winning bill. Mia's date Sean is announced as the winner and is presented with the silk wrapped gift basket.

* * *

Next up is the First Dance Auction. One by one the women are called to the front, the MC making up ridiculous talents for each one. On average, the winning bids range from $5000-8000. Throughout the bidding, Christian's hand resumes caressing my arm, occasionally ghosting them down to my elbow, while his other hand holds mine with his thumb keeping a steady brush over my knuckles, palm and wrist.

I'm on fire and my breathing is harder than normal, making me almost pant. When we get down to business, I don't think it will take me long at all to explode; my silk thong is already soaked. I keep my body turned into Christian, so that no one would notice.

Mia was the last one up. Her father, grandfather and even Christian a few times, throw out bids to help increase her price. She was up to $16000 when the bidders relented, and the MC declared her sold.

After that Christian wasted no time at all getting us to our feet and muttering an excuse of wanting to show me around the house. We're almost at the at the back of the tent and about to exit when we hear Mia talking into the microphone, asking for everyone's attention and calling out for Christian and I to wait. We both reluctantly turn to see why she wants us to wait.

''Thank you, for those of you that don't know, we normally are 12 girls to participate in the auction every year. This year on of them bowed out the last minute, and I thought that was the perfect opportunity to ask my sister in law, the beautiful Anastasia Grey'' she gestures to where I'm standing and all heads turn our way. This is exactly what I didn't want, being the center of attention. To not seem rude, I smile and wave to Mia, and their heads turns back to her. ''I asked her to fill in for the missing girl, but after being reminded that the auction is for single women, Ana so nicely decided to donate $100,000 for her dance instead. So let's give her a round of applause'' she says and people starts clapping ''thank you.'' she says, and the room erupts into applause and cheers.

I stand still as blood drains from my face. Did Grace tell her the amount of my donation? Did Grace ask her to go up on the stage and thank me? Why did they do that? I though they understood that that money had caused a few problems between Christian and I, and now they're only making it worse. I had planned to tell Christian, and I wanted to do that in private, because I _know_ how much this will anger him. And right now I don't dare to look at him. I just want the ground to swallow me whole right now.

* * *

Not knowing how to react I just smile and politely and nod my head. I'm about to turn and escape to find someplace to hide, when I hear Christian giving a harsh, ''Excuse us.'' Then with his hand gripping mine and dragging me along behind him, he storms out of the tent and across the lawn towards the house. Not being able to follow after him at this pace, I yank on his hand.

"Christian, slow down! I can't walk that fast in these shoes." I plead.

He stops abruptly and I bump into his side, nearly losing my balance. He holds me steady while eyeing my four inch heels. Without warning he swoops down and lifts me in his arms, carrying me bridal style. I risk a glance at his face. He appears unaffected, but I know better. On the inside he's boiling with anger. His clenched jaw, pulsing temple, heated eyes and not from lust, and his measured breaths, are all dead giveaways on how he really feels. He stares straight ahead, getting us as fast as possible to the house.

Once we've entered the house I break the silence, trying to calm him down. ''Please don't be mad, I was going to tell you,'' I lean down to kiss his cheek, but he leans his head away.

"Not now Anastasia." His tone is cold as he continues to walk up the stairs.

"I promise. I just wanted to tell you in private because I knew you'd react this way."

He stops at the landing of the second floor to glare at me. "I said, not now," he spits, then ascends the next flight of stairs. Swallowing, I blink my eyes to try not to let tears escape. I've made Christian mad on more than one occasion, but I haven't seen him this angry at me before.

Since I know that he won't do anything to me, or _can't_, at least without setting me down, I continue. ''I didn't know it was going to be announced like that, I didn't know it was going to be announced at all. But I would never have done it without telling you, we're supposed to communicate, remember?'' And because I can't resist, I start combing my fingers through his hair at the back of his head, and he lets out a sigh, and leans his head into my touch.

By the time we reach the third floor it seems like my touch has calmed him, he's remained silent, but his face has relaxed and his breathing is even –carrying me up three flights hasn't even winded the slightest –and his eyes aren't hard anymore. He opens a door at the end of the hall and kicks it shut behind him before setting me down, then he immediately pins me with his body flushed against mine to the wall next to the door, before reaching out his hand to lock it.

There is only moonlight lightening up the room through the blinds as his eyes bore into mine, and he lifts his hand to move my mask, before lifting of his own. ''Why?'' He asks, cupping my face in his hands. ''Just tell me why you did it Anastasia,'' he doesn't seem angry like he was before, but there's still a hint of harshness there.

''I tried telling you over and over again that I didn't want the money, and you didn't want to take it back. Once I heard what the foundation was about and pieced together that your parents did it in honor of you, I knew what I wanted to do with the money. I've told you earlier that I wanted to donate the money you gave me. I wanted to do this for you Christian, for others like you who need help,'' I say and a tear sliding down my cheek.

He gives me a look that I can't quite read, but it's not angry at all. ''I appreciate you wanting to help, but why do you have to be so stubborn about it? There is nothing wrong with accepting money from your husband, and it was to help _you_. I just want to help you Ana. Why won't you let me?'' He stresses the last words, his eyes searching mine. There's something in the way he looks at me, almost like he's hurt. But my intention was never to hurt him.

''I get that Christian, and that's very nice of you, but talk to me. You need to talk to me.'' I say and he nods his head. ''We'll talk about this later, I don't want this to ruin our night.'' He sighs and his face softens.

He rests his forehead against mine, and nods his head in agreement. ''Okay, later. But… would you consider letting me pay them off now and you can make payments into an account? Then you can donate to whichever cause you want, or pay me back. Think of it as refinancing for a better rate. It'll save you thousands in interest, while still giving you that goal to work towards.''

What he's asking for makes sense. Plus, having a second account strictly for paying him back will give me somewhere to transfer money to if he tries to give me more money without talking to me first. And, if he decides to proceed with the divorce in a few months, then I will still be able to pay him without actually having to _see_ him. I can set up an automatic transfer from my primary account to this secondary one, and then never have to think about it again. I place my hand on the back of his head, and run my fingers through his hair. ''Yes, I like that idea,'' I say bringing my lips against his. ''I thought you brought me up here to fuck me?" I say and crush my mouth to his, pulling him to me.

It only takes a few seconds for him to respond, and then he's kissing me fiercely. I don't know how he got his tongue so far into my mouth, but somehow he managed. His hands flex on my waist before moving up my spine to the top of my dress, locating the zipper and bringing it down. He pulls away to pull the dress of my shoulders, our breathing ragged. I step out of it and he drapes it over a chair. I stand there vibrating with need, and needing the wall to support me from falling as I watch Christian remove his tux jacket and tie. His gray eyes rake over my body, taking me all in. and I quickly take of my panties too.

''Hmmm, no bra? I approve,'' he comes back to me, taking a foil packet out of his pocket handing it to me, before undoing his pants and letting them fall to his knees, his boxers quickly followed. And if I weren't so turned on right now, I think I might've laughed at the sight of him like this.

''This has to be quick baby,'' he says taking the foil packet back, opening it and quickly pulling it over his erection. ''Wrap your legs around me,'' he says as he lifts me up. Using the wall to help him support me, he drags his fingers through my dripping slit. ''Fuck, you're so wet,'' and then he grabs his erection and teases me with the tip, moving it slowly through my folds. ''Is this what you want? Have you been sitting surrounded by my family and Seattle's elite, while imagining my dick inside you?''

''Yes… oh God,'' I grip at the hair in the back of his neck, not able to hold back so much longer. His breathing turns even more ragged as he plunges in me with a steady thrust of his hips. He doesn't waste any time, as he pounds into me, thick, hot, hard and fast. I was already so close it doesn't take long before I'm reaching my climax, and scream Christian's name into his neck as I come. He doesn't let up, if anything it makes him go even faster. All the while, he's kissing, licking and nipping at my skin, anywhere he can reach. It feels like he's everywhere and I'm building again.

''Come on Anastasia, give it to me,'' he rasps, and that's it. I go over again, exploding into nirvana, his mouth covers mine just as I'm about to scream, and he kisses me through his own release, voiced only by a low grunt from deep down in his chest, drawing it out as we both come down from our highs.

When he pulls away, he rests his head on my shoulder and I rest mine at the top of his head, as we try to catch our breath. _Holy hell!_ I have no words to describe what I just experienced.

"Ana..." Christian presses a kiss to my neck.

"I know." And I do, I know just how he's feeling. Even if he can't say it.

"Can you stand?" He asks and chuckles when I shake my head, then he sinks to the floor sitting on his heels with me straddling him, still inside me.

I don't move, I don't speak. I just sit here loving the feeling of Christian this close, and feeling utterly sated and content.

**This was only par 1.**


	33. Chapter 33

**Again a big thanks to ''**_50ShadesFever_**'' for helping me with these 2 last chapters. I have been absent lately, and I will explain that at the end of the chapter. You don't have to read it, but if you wonder why I will be more absent, please read it. **

**ANA**

I don't know how long we've been sitting here in comfortable silence, when Christian leans back. He cups my face in his hands and kisses me long and deep, his eyes locked on mine the whole time. I'm not sure what he's trying to tell me through his stare and his kiss, but it grips my heart nonetheless.

Eventually he pulls away, ''I owe you a dance baby. Come, we don't have much time left.'' He slips out from inside me and I feel empty. Then he helps me stand and I go retrieve my panties from the floor and slip them on, as Christian disposes of the condom and pulls up his boxers and pants. He flips the light on, and then picks up his tie and tux jacket and hands me my dress. ''This is my bedroom,'' he says as he helps me into my dress. ''I've never brought a girl in here before.''

''Never?'' I ask while looking over my shoulder at him. He shakes his head and I take a look around the room for the first time. It's spatial although sparsely furnished, a double bed with a navy duvet just like at Escala, a desk and chair, dresser, and overflowing book shelves with trophies on them for some sport—kickboxing maybe. The white walls are covered with movie posters of, _The Matrix, Fight Club, The Truman Show,_ and two framed posters, of what looks like some famous kick-boxers - one of which was signed- but I have no idea who.

This room is a glimpse of the teenage Christian, and I'm grateful that he wanted to show it to me. ''Thank you for showing me this.'' He finishes zipping my dress up, and presses a kiss at the nape of my neck. While he shrugs back into his tux jacket and puts his tie back on, I walk over to his desk for a closer look at the white cork board on the wall above it.

It is filled with typical teenage mementos of vacation pictures, concert tickets, baseball pennants, and things like that. This is not what I had expected at all for Christian's room. I had thought it would be something more like at Escala, all unfeeling and sterile. I'm admiring the various pictures of the places he's been, when he comes up beside me and slips his arms around my waist. ''What are you thinking about?'' he asks, his head leaning down to rest on my shoulder, his breath skates across my cheek.

''I'm just a little envious of all the places you've traveled. Not for business, but throughout your childhood. The only places I've ever been are in and out of Washington, and the cities my mom dragged me to while moving through different husbands.''

''And out of every place in the world, you want to see London the most?'' he asks, and I turn around wide-eyed. ''Perhaps I can take you there sometime?'' he says, a smile tugging at his lips.

''You remembered?'' I ask and he nods his head. I can't believe he remembers. I told him about wanting to visit London during our coffee date so long ago. I've always wanted to visit the place where Thomas Hardy, Shakespeare, and Jane Austen came from.

''I remember everything you tell me, Anastasia,'' he says giving me one of his rare shy smiles, and it warms my heart. ''Are you ready? The dance auction should be starting any minute now.'' I nod and he asks, ''How's my tie?''

I glance at his perfectly knotted tie, but I lean up to pretend that it needs straightening anyway. ''There,'' I say smiling up at him, ''now it's perfect,'' I giggle.

Christian smirks and puts his hand on the small of my back and starts to lead me out of his room. Just before we reach the door, he bends over to retrieve our masks from the floor. That ass that is true perfection is in the air right next to me, and I just can't help myself. My hand comes quickly up and I pinch one of his cheeks.

He jumps up and spins around so fast, a cute look of complete shock on his face, and I can barely hold in my laughter. I bite my lip so hard as I watch him as he stand there, his gray eyes wide and his mouth opening and closing like a fish, but no sound comes out.

Finally, after a little while, he shakes his head .''Did… did you just… did you pinch my ass?'' he asks frowning, but has a look of amusement in his eyes. Biting my lip harder, I just nod my head. ''Why?'' he looks confused, and although he still looks shocked, there's no longer any anger in his expression.

''You offered it to me,'' I say while shrugging, and he looks even more confused about that. ''I just couldn't resist,'' I say smiling up at him.

''I offered it to you?'' he asks and I nod my head again. ''How? Because I bent over?'' There's amusement in his tone now, and a little spark in his eyes. Before I can answer, he continues, ''I'll have to remember that. Just don't bite my head off when you find yourself in a similar position.''

Oh no, what is he planning now? I did start it, and to be honest Christian pinching my ass sounds a little bit exciting. ''Fair enough,'' I say and he grins at me. I hold out my hand for my mask, and I slip it on while he does the same, before he offers me his elbow.

''Shall we?'' he asks, and I hook my arm through his.

''Yes, we shall.'' We make our way through the house and back to the tent, grinning at each other as we walk. I love seeing him like this, smiling and carefree. Happy.

* * *

We make it back just in time for the band to start playing ''I've Got You Under My Skin''. Several people try to stop us for small talk on the way to the dance floor, but Christian quickly, and politely, dismisses them.

Once we're on the black-and-white checkerboard floor, Christian sweeps me up into his arms, and effortlessly guides us along with the other couples. He makes dancing seem so easy. Now his grin is gone and replaced with a more reserved smile, but, I can see in his eyes that he's still happy.

The crowd disappears around us as I stare into those silver orbs, the words of the song resonating within me.

_I've got you under my skin.  
I've got you deep in the heart of me.  
So deep in my heart that you're really a part of me.  
I've got you under my skin.  
I'd tried so not to give in.  
I said to myself: this affair never will go so well.  
But why should I try to resist when, baby, I know so well  
I've got you under my skin?_

_I'd sacrifice anything come what might  
For the sake of havin' you near  
In spite of a warnin' voice that comes in the night  
And repeats, repeats in my ear:  
Don't you know, little fool, you never can win?  
Use your mentality, wake up to reality.  
But each time that I do just the thought of you  
Makes me stop before I begin  
'Cause I've got you under my skin._

I vaguely register the applause as the song comes to an end. Christian pulls me closer, our eyes remain locked on each other. He moves my arms so that they're around his neck, then he places both of his around my waist, and he's smiling at me the whole time. With _my_private smile, that I haven't seen him give anyone else.

The band strikes into 'Come Fly With Me' and once again we're off spinning around the dance floor. When the band flows into 'The Way You Look Tonight', I lay my head on his shoulder, or at least _near_ his shoulder, since he's so damn tall. We sway to the music, barely moving and I close my eyes enjoying this moment.

When I open my eyes I meet Grace's eyes. She and Carrick are standing on the side, watching us, with smiles on their faces, and all I can do is smile back at them. Tonight has been such a big change for us. I can't imagine it being this easy between us all the time, so I want to embrace it while I can.

The song comes to its final verse and Christian starts to whisper in my ear. ''Lovely… Don't you ever change, Keep that breathless Charm, Won't you please arrange it? Mmmm… just the way you look tonight'' he tips my chin up. ''You truly are lovely Anastasia,'' and he kisses me, sweet and gently, and it takes my breath away.

When he pulls back, I stare up at him while fighting the tears that threaten to fall. Who is this man? Since when did he become so sweet? I'm speechless. He chuckles and kisses my nose, before leading us into yet another dance. I don't let myself over think about the lyrics he just sung to me, although we're in a good place now, neither one of us is _there_ yet

We dance through two more songs before I tell Christian that I need to use the restroom and rest my feet. I'm not used to walking, or dancing, in heels like these. He shows me where the restrooms are. I don't say anything about him walking me to the door, although he could've just pointed to the door. We've had such a great time tonight, and there's no need to spoil it by being stubborn.

Christian decides to wait for me outside while I use the restroom. It has to be the fanciest Port-a-John I think I've ever seen. Who knew they made these with multiple stalls and sinks. I notice that there's only one other stall occupied as I dash into the closest one.

I've just finished washing my hands when the door to the other stall opens. I glance up into the mirror and roll my eyes. Of course the other one has to be occupied by none other than Elena Lincoln. She steps out and immediately her eyes frost over and her mouth contorts into what I'm assuming is a scowl –although it's hard to tell with all the work she's had done –and her back straightens. I think she's trying to take her Domme stance with me, but it doesn't affect me in the slightest.

I dry my hands with a disposable hand towel and turn to face her.

''Anastasia,'' she says coldly, ''you think you've got them all fooled, don't you? But I know who you really are. I know you're the reason everyone is talking about me. How dare you spread lies about me! You have no idea who you're messing with.''

My eyes widen in shock, the nerve of this woman. She's completely delusional! I cross my arms and take a few steps toward her. ''_Me_ telling lies about _you_? Why would I do that? I despise you with every cell in my body. I don't want to _think_ about you, let alone _talk _about you. And neither does Christian. You're one to talk though. You lie every time you talk to Grace, knowing what you did with her son. You lied to the press with that bullshit spewed in that article. And for what? To split us up? Newsflash, it didn't work! He finally sees you for what you are; nothing but a conniving, manipulative, pedophile bitch." I feel rage boiling in my veins. My mind replaying everything Christian has said she's done to him, and how much it's affected him. I don't let my words register with her too long, before I find myself pulling my hand up and slapping her hard across the cheek with everything I have.

She stumbles back, raising her hand to her cheek, covering the red handprint I've just left there. God that stung. I shake my hand out slightly to try and get rid of the sting. Although this is so unlike me, I don't regret it one bit. ''Leave us alone! You did not help him! Now he's finally happy, so just let him be. I see it, Grace sees it, and his whole family sees it. Do yourself a favor and find someone else to occupy your time, instead of obsessing over Christian. He was never yours and he will _never_ be.'' With nothing left to say to her, I turn on my heel and stride to the door.

I'm almost there, when she speaks up again. ''It's just an act.'' I know I should ignore her, but I find myself turning back around to look at her, and I see her with a smug smile. ''Do you really think that after the five short weeks you've known him, you're the right person to tell_me_ how he really feels? I've known him since shortly after he was adopted, and _really_ known him for thirteen years. Those small romantic looks, little touches and nauseating lip-locks… it's all an act for his family, and to all those high profile people out there. It's all an act so that he doesn't embarrass himself. What would they think if they knew the truth? That he made a drunken mistake by marrying you? His reputation would be ruined. So he does it to appease you, and save face with them."

I'm frozen where I'm standing. Right now I can't sort out my thoughts and process what I'm feeling. Could she be right? Before I realize it she's in front of me, gripping my chin, and forcing me to look at her. She narrows her eyes and sneers. ''Did you really think you could get him to love you? Christian doesn't know what love is; trust me, I made sure of it. Do yourself a favor and leave him, now. Before I ruin you, little girl.'' She jerks my face to the side as she lets it go and then she walks out of the door.

I have no idea how long I stand there before I feel the walls around me starting to close in on me. I need air, I need to breath and think logically about this. As I leave the bathroom, I see Christian arguing with _her, _out of the corner of my eye. I pay no attention to them and walk blindly, to where, I don't know. I just need to get out of here.

* * *

**CHRISTIAN**

I'm standing here, waiting for Ana to finish in the restroom, with a smile –yes an actual full-blown smile –as I think of the night we've had. I'm enjoying myself here for the first time, and it all comes down to Ana. I never imagined this; _me_, in public, with a woman, a woman that's my wife, being affectionate, showing emotions, dancing and having a great time. I don't know how it happened between now and when we agreed to try for more earlier today, but as the night goes on, there's this unknown feeling growing inside me, one that I can't describe.

I'm just about to dissect what this feeling might be, when I hear yelling from inside the ladies room. What the hell? I walk over to the doors to hear what's being said and who is involved, but when I get closer, the yelling gets lower and I can't hear it anymore. When I'm a few strides away from the door, it opens and Elena nearly barrels into me. I immediately back-up as she tries to touch me to steady herself. Annoyance flickers in her eyes, but she attempts to smile at me.

''Christian darling,'' she purrs like she always does when we meet, only this time it annoys me. ''Were you looking for me?'' _Not in this lifetime!_

''In your dreams,'' I glance up to the door, but it's shut and no one else has come out of it. ''I'm waiting for Ana.'' When I glance back at Elena, I notice the bright red handprint across her cheek. But where the fuck is Ana?

''Oh, don't worry about her. I took care of your little wifey problem. She'll be out of your life by morning, and then you can go back to being who you really are. I know you must be anxious to get your control back, and I have the perfect girl for you. Would you like me to send her over tomorrow? Around noon?''

_Oh dear god! What did she do?_ I step closer and get right in her face ''WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?''

''A FAVOR, THAT'S WHAT! She's not what you need Christian. You know it, so why act so blind to it? She can't make you happy.'' I clench my hands tightly in my pockets to keep from hitting her. ''Who the fuck are you to tell me what I need? To tell _me_ what makes me happy?'' I see a flash of red leaving the bathroom and walking the away from Elena and I, towards the water. I know without a doubt that it's Ana, and I point in that direction as I continue talking to Elena. ''That girl has made me the happiest I've ever been in my life. I told you to stay out of our lives. I've had enough Elena! You've messed with us for the last time.''

Worried about where Ana is going and what the hell Elena has said to her, I head in the same direction Ana went. I look around and see Ana walking briskly. Damn she's fast! ''Ana! Ana wait!'' She doesn't stop, and she doesn't even acknowledge that she heard me. She's not getting away from me without telling me what happened. ''ANASTASIA!''

She stumbles and lifts her dress up to avoid tripping on it. She bends over to remove her shoes, which gives me just enough time to catch up to her. I grab her shoulders before she takes off again, and turn her to me. Her eyes are swimming with tears. Fuck! ''What did she say to you?''

She shakes her head and looks down, her chest shaking with each breath she takes. "It doesn't matter, I just want to be left alone Christian,'' she mumbles.

I pull her into my arms, which has surprisingly become something I love. Without any hesitation, she lets me embrace her and I say in her ear, ''Everything that affects you matters to me, _especially_ if it upsets you. You can't believe anything she's said. She's a bitter and vindictive bitch that is determined to hurt us. You know that right?'' She doesn't answer, she just sighs. ''Come on. Everyone will be moving down here soon for the fireworks, and you need to tell me what happened without a crowd interrupting us.'' I keep an arm around her as I lead her to the boathouse and up the stairs to the loft. I sit down on the sofa and pull her into my lap before removing both our masks. We don't need them now, and I want to look at Ana as she talks to me. I want to try to read her facial expressions.

I tip her face up to me, and use my thumbs to wipe away the tears that are starting to spill over. ''Now, tell me what she said.''

* * *

**ANA**

I hate that she got to me, that she's making me question this beautiful and generous man in front of me. He has been so kind to me all day, and made me feel special, and then _she _had to go and ruin it all. I look into Christian's eyes, and all I can see is worry. But I'm worried too. What if I'm the only one falling? In the end of this whole situation, I'm afraid I'll be the one who ends up hurt.

''Is this real?'' I whisper closing my eyes, so that he can't see the tears threatening to appear. He runs his thumbs over my cheeks, and when he doesn't say anything, I continue. ''Your mood, all the nice things you've said to me, is it real?'' I can't tell what he is thinking by the look on his face and my lower lip start to tremble. He opens his mouth to speak, but I cut him off. I need to say this first. ''This evening has been one of the best in my life Christian. Everything about today has been great, and I thought that maybe you thought that too, but…''

''I do,'' he says and I look at him surprised. But, I'm not surprised by the words he said, rather the surprise is because of the fierce determination in his voice as he said those words. ''Ana, today-'' he says a little smile prickling at the corners of his mouth, and he shakes his head in what seems like disbelief. ''God baby, how can you think that was fake?'' He reaches for me, and I willingly get in his lap. ''When I'm with you, I can be myself. I've never felt like I could do that before, but with you, I can.'' He kisses my nose and I scrunch it a little making him smile even more. ''When I'm with you, I feel like I don't need to worry because I know you won't judge me, no matter what choices I've made in my life.'' His hands start to move up and down my back, and my breath hitches as he starts to fiddle with the zipper. ''I've smiled and laughed more this month, than I think I have my entire life. That's all because of you.''

He helps me stand up and then zips down my dress, and lets me step out of it, before sitting back down on his lap. The old Ana, the one before Christian, would've never done this, but Christian made me feel comfortable around him. Now I don't question these things, because I know that in his eyes, I'm beautiful, and that fact makes me feel beautiful.

I can't help the grin on my face. I was so stupid to even, for a second, doubt what I thought about Christian and I. ''You make me happy,'' I whisper shyly, looking away from him. He cups my face in his hands, and slowly his lips meet mine, in a slow and sweet kiss. He lowers his hands from my face, never breaking the kiss as he runs his hand up and down my thigh. His other hand grips the back of my neck as he kisses me firmly.

I let my fingers run through his soft hair, and he lets out a moan as my fingernails scrap his scalp. I hold him to me, as our tongues start to dance more wildly together. Our tongues explore, curls and twists around each other, my blood heating in my veins, and I feel Christian getting harder and harder under me. And as my hips start to slightly move back and forth, he groans and tightens his hold on me.

''Let's go to the bed,'' he says standing up, and I wrap my legs around him.

''Bed?'' I ask. I didn't see a bed in here when we first arrived, but sure enough there is a bed here, which Christian lies me gently down on. I lie there and look up at him, and watch as he discards himself of his jacket and pants. He loosens his tie, and throws it aside, and he starts to unbutton his shirt. I'm happy when I realize that he won't tie up my hands. I don't mind the tie at all, but when we don't use it, it shows that Christian trusts me, and he knows that I won't touch him where he doesn't like to be touched.

When he's only in his boxers, he lowers himself over me and start to kiss a trail from my belly button and up to my lips. His hand travels down my body, gently cups me though my bra, pinching my nipple before continuing down to my panties. He runs his finger back and forth right above my panty-line, and he grins as I groan with need. His finger teasingly dips into my panties, before going back to what it was doing. ''Christian,'' I groan, and he chuckles.

''My greedy girl,'' he whisper hoarsely, he bites my lips and I gasp, when his thumb start to rub my clit. ''I need a taste,'' he rasps out. Before I know it, I can feel his breath against my sex as he hooks his finger in the waist of my panties and pull them down. I close my eyes, waiting for the delicious orgasm I know he will give me. But nothing happens; I open my eyes and lean up on my elbows to look what he's doing. He's looking up at me and when our eyes meet, he smirks. ''What do you want, baby?''

''You,'' I say in a whisper, and he grins back at me.

''I'm a given, Ana. What is it that you want me to do, huh?'' He asks, and I look as he licks my clit lightly, before pulling back.

''Please,'' I moan.

''Tell me.'' He says, and once again I look as he licks my clit, a little longer this time but once again he pulls back. ''I want to hear you say it,'' he says with a wicked grin. I know exactly what he wants me to say, but I blush just thinking about it. There's no way I can say _that_.

''Lick me,'' I whisper, hoping it satisfies him. He leans down and this time he licks though my slit and ending with a swirl of his tongue around my clit, making me let out a moan. But again, he leans back and looks up at me expectantly.

''Hmmm,'' he whispers and I look into his eyes, starting to feel frustrated. ''I didn't hear that, what did you say?'' he kisses the inside of my thigh, and I lose it.

I grab a fistful of his hair and lead him back to my sex, ''Lick. My. Pussy.'' I say and Christian with a satisfied smile, leans down and this time he doesn't stop. He sucks my clit into his mouth, and sooner than I thought possible, I let out a whimper as I fall from my height.

I look at Christian through my hooded eyes, and watch as he stands up from the bed and let his beautiful hard length free from his boxers before crawling up my body. He looks intently into my eyes, ''You make me so damn happy,'' he says, and then he's inside me. I gasp at the sudden feeling of him filling me, and he stops once he's inside. ''Ah, you feel so good,'' he rasps out and slowly starts to move.

He rests his cheek against mine. I love hearing his ragged breathing in my ear, and hearing his small groans and moans. His pace quickens and I'm once again starting to climb higher and higher. And then there's a loud boom, coming from the outside. Christian leans up on his elbows, and I see many different lights light up his face. It's the fireworks. Then there's another squeal-like sound, before it booms. Christian smiles down at me, and with all the different colors displayed on his face, he looks absolutely breathtaking.

He starts to move again, only this time he's looking at me. As the pace quickens again, he closes his eyes and leans his head back. ''Come on, Ana,'' he groans, ''give it up.'' His voice is breathy, and I spiral off into oblivion as I feel Christian slip out as his thumb start rubbing on my clit, and I feel something hot against my stomach.

Christian falls down next to me, and his breathing is more ragged than mine. I look down at my stomach, and then I realize what happened. He forgot the condom, I look over at his dick and it's bare. ''Christian?'' I ask, confused looking up at him.

''I pulled out, it should be fine,'' he says and he leans over to the nightstand beside the bed and start to open drawers, he retrieves a napkin out from the middle drawer, and he sit up to clean me. ''I'm sorry, I've never forgotten one before.'' He says swallowing harshly. ''You just felt so good, I can't wait until we can stop using condoms.''

He lays back down after he's done cleaning me up, and we lay there in each other arms, and watch as the firework lights up the room.

* * *

**I HOPE YOU LIKED THE CHAPTER.**

**A few months ago I did something stupid, I replied to a job, got the job said yes to the job, without knowing what job I had replied to. Stupid I know, but I thought I knew, but it wasn't that at all. **

**So I am freaking out, I'm in panic mode, and I've cried a lot. But I did this, so I have to see it through. But I am going to be a museums guide this summer, and I have a long script to get through and to remember and it's taking all of my time. **

**I'm so sorry, and I will write when I can, but I sort of have to focus on this now.**

**I hope you can all understand. **


	34. Chapter 34

**Authors note:**

**Wow it really has been a long time now, and I'm sorry about that I Really am, I never wanted it to go so long. But it did, and a lot has happened the last 2 months, I'm not going into it too much, but I've moved, I'm a year older, and then there was my summer job, that went really well , thank you for all your support that meant a lot, so THANK YOU.**

**Also E.L James new book about Christian has been out for almost 2 months now, and I have to say I didn't quite like it, it wasn't bad but I wish I didn't read it. But that's just my opinion, did you guys like it?**

**I've been writing a bit, but not so much as I wanted, but that's just how it. School starts for me in a week, so not sure how that'll be, but I'm hoping that I can get back to writing this story for you and for myself, I really like this story, and that because you all like it and believe in it (sappy I know, I'll stop now)**

* * *

**ANA**

''Ahhh, turn it off!'' I moan, smashing my pillow over my face to avoid the noise. I can hear Christian rustling around, but he doesn't make a move to stop the blaring alarm. I sit up and lean over him to turn it off. 6 am, his alarm is set at 6 am on a Sunday. I smack his arm before laying back down.

''Mmm, sorry baby,'' he says in a husky voice while dragging me closer to him. ''Go back to sleep,'' he whispers before his breathing evens out, and I know he's fallen back asleep.

Last night when we laid in bed in the boathouse and saw the room light up with firework, no-last night when Christian was inside me and slowed when the firework started; when I saw his face in a million different colors as he gently moved inside me with a smile on his face, that's when I knew. Things have gone too far, I was in too deep.

My heart swelled at just the sight of him. These feelings were not anything I'd ever felt in my life. All these feelings have now made me terrified for the future. I know now that this man, this beautiful man holding me close to him as he sleeps, will be the end of me. In about 5 months, my heart will be broken beyond repair.

Unable to go back to sleep, I just lay here and let Christian's body warm comfort me. I love when he holds me at night. Although we never really fall asleep like this, we somehow always wake up this way. We've cuddled some after sex, but I know that's not what Christian normally does, so it's still new to him. It's also new to me, but everything about him is new to me, and in a way, that excites me.

He's been so good to me, and he makes me smile and laugh about the smallest things that he does. It's incredible how such a smart man, can be so clueless about the simplest things, like how to re-heat mac n' cheese. It's absolutely adorable the way he wants to do everything on his own, even things he doesn't know how to do. When I see his defeated frown, it causes a fluttering in my heart. Just thinking about it now brings a smile to my face.

I turn around in his arms, so that I'm facing him. He looks so peaceful in his sleep with his mouth barely open and eyes closed. This sight of him sleeping so peacefully will be forever etched into my mind. I lean closer to him, and press a light kiss to his mouth, and he closes it before opening it again. ''More,'' he mumbles, and I lean in again to grant him his request. He kisses me back, or as much as he can while still half-asleep, while we continue to lie there, kissing softly for quite some while.

* * *

I love Gail. I love cooking with Gail and talking to her, but I love cooking for Christian. He's used to good cooking from Gail, but he always appreciates it when I cook for him, and I think my cooking skills surprise him. I've never been a bad cook nor a particularly great one, but he seems to appreciate it. I do think that he's compared my cooking to the other ladies that have cooked for him on the weekends.

I feel a wave of envy and sadness thinking about those weekends. I don't know why, but I don't like feeling that way. Those women could give Christian what he wanted. They would let him do all sorts of things to them, things that I can't. Even if I wanted to do those things, I couldn't keep Christian being the novice that I am. Sooner or later, he will tire of me and tire of this mediocrity with me.

I finish Christian's scrambled eggs, and put them on the tray with the other food that I have prepared for him. I start towards Christian's office with the tray. He's been in there ever since we got interrupted, in the middle of our make out session in bed this morning, with a phone call from work. I've already been in there once with coffee, and he seemed really frustrated then, but it's been almost an hour, so he must be hungry by now.

I stop when I see Taylor walking towards me looking like he wants to say something to me. ''Bad time?'' I ask nervously, even though I really wanted to surprise him with this breakfast.

''No ma'am, just let me carry that for you,'' he says while reaching for it, but I shake my head. ''Ma'am,'' he says trying once again to take it from me.

''If you want to help, then you can open the door for me,'' I say and after a staring contest, he gives in and walks with me to Christian's office to hold the door open. Christian is looking intensely at the computer in front of him, but his irritation and frustration is no longer visible on his face.

He looks up at me, and his eyes soften. Then he looks down at the tray in my hands, and his eyes widen with confusion. I walk over to his desk and set it down on in front of him, because it was starting to hurt my arms. ''What's this?'' he asks, dragging me to sit on his lap, while pressing a light kiss to my neck.

''I made breakfast,'' I state the obvious.

''I can see that, what about you? Have you already eaten?''

''No, I thought we could share, but if you have something important going on, I can leave you alone.''

I say biting my lip, waiting for his answer.

''No we can share,'' he says and I move out of his lap and sit down on the chair in front of his desk. ''I was starting to get hungry, so thank you for this baby, this was nice,'' he says smiling, and reaches for one of the glasses of orange juice.

I grab one of the slices with bacon and start nibbling on it, as I watch Christian digging in. Watching his smiling face as he butters a toast, is so beautiful. He looks over at me, and when he sees my smile, his brightens even more, if that's even possible.

''Here,'' he says while handing me the toast. I look at him with confusion, and his smile drops. ''You said we were going to share, so eat.'' I take the toast from him and take a bite out of it, and the smile is back. I shake my head at him still smiling, and eat the toast. I didn't think I was hungry, but I surprisingly am. ''This was really nice of you Ana, thank you.''

''You're welcome,'' I say and he leans over his desk and motions for me to do the same. As soon as I'm close enough, he gives me a sweet and gentle kiss, before sitting back down. ''You're alarm is on really early,'' I say after some time of comfortable silence.

Christian sips his coffee before nodding, ''It is,'' he agrees, ''but I used to work everyday, including weekends, all day long… I'm sorry for waking you up though, I didn't remember to turn it off.''

''Everyday? When do you relax, when is your time off?'' I ask with confusion. Seriously, someone can't work 24/7, that's inhuman! Everyone needs a break every now and then.

''Yes, everyday, this,'' he says motioning his arms around him, ''doesn't come easy. I've worked hard for many years to accomplish what I have, it's what I love,'' he says, his face motionless, no frown and no smile. ''I relax at night when I'm going to bed, I relax when I take…'' he says but suddenly stops himself. But I knew what he was going to say.

''When you take your girlfriends to the playroom,'' I finish for him.

''They were not my girlfriends, Anastasia.'' He says rather angrily.

''So you're not relaxing now? Because of me?'' I look nervously at him, scared of his answer, but he bites his lips to keep from laughing, although a chuckle still escapes his lips.

''You beautiful, smart, insecure and self-conscious girl. What will I do with you?'' he says shaking his head and taking another sip of his coffee. I sit and wait for Christian to elaborate, but he doesn't say anything else. ''Come here,'' he says, while I walk over and sit on his lap. ''Anything you want to do today?'' he asks, leaning down to kiss my neck, making it hard for me to think.

''Ehm,'' I say breathlessly and I feel him smiling against my neck. ''Not really, it's raining.'' He leans back to look at me.

''I need to finish up here, but then I'm all yours,'' he says with a smirk, and I can't help but giggle, and his smirk turns into a full-blown smile.

''We can always watch a movie?'' I ask, not sure if he even has any movies. I haven't seen any here, but then again, I haven't spent much time in the TV room yet.

''Whatever you want,'' he cups my face in his hands and kisses my lips, ending with a bite to my lower lip, and then another sweet kiss.

* * *

Christian's TV room is like everything else in his apartment-too much and very impressive. The TV is large and magnificent, it's seriously like going to the movies in here. This is what I would imagine the VIP lounge of some fancy movie theatre to look like.

I walk over to the shelf full of movies, and start to look through them. There's no way I can choose just one movie out of all these, there are too many options. Besides, I don't even know what Christian likes to watch, and there is seriously every type of genre here, so that's not helpful in figuring out what he likes to watch. There are however not many new films here though. Most are from the 80s and 90s, so I think I'll just have him choose one.

I take a look around the room and notice that he has a few games in here, so I guess this is the _actual_ playroom in the apartment. Christian doesn't strike me as a gamer though. Ethan, Kate's brother, _loves_ to play video games and Kate has complained quite a lot when visits and takes over our living room with his video games. But that's not how Christian is at all.

''Picked one yet?'' I hear Christian behind me and I twirl around, my heart beating faster. ''Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you,'' he says walking over to me. ''What are we watching?''

''I don't know what you want to watch, or what you even like to watch,'' I say looking back at the shelf, you choose, it doesn't matter for me.'' Christian walks backwards towards the shelf, with a smirk on his face, never taking his eyes off me. He stops and reaches behind him to retrieve one of the movies, and holds it up for me to see. ''Breakfast Club?'' I say reading the title aloud.

''Good?'' he asks and I nod. ''Do you want something to drink or eat while we watch it?'' I shake my head and he walks over to the TV and inserts it. I sit down in one of the chairs and make myself comfortable. It doesn't take long before I'm sitting in a really comfortable position. This chair is seriously so soft and comfortable, it's like heaven. ''Uh uh, baby,'' Christian says shaking his head and points to the couch.

''I don't want to move,'' I whine snuggling into the chair even more, which earns a chuckle out of Christian. I watch as he walks over to me, and without a warning, he lifts me up and carries me to the couch.

''There,'' he says and for good measure pats me on the head, and I giggle because this is so unlike him. I love seeing this side of him, and I think I'm the only one who gets to see it, or has _ever_ seen it. That makes me happy.

Halfway through the movie, I'm trying all I can to stay concentrated on watching it. But, I know Christian has been watching me, instead of the movie, the whole time. I can feel his gaze on me, and the circle he's been rubbing on my thighs isn't helping my concentration in the slightest. ''Christian,'' I breathe out and my eyes close.

''Hmm?'' he whispers and pulls me closer to him while turning his head and then I feel his heavy breathing on my neck. Feeling bold, I move my hand over his crotch, trying to tease him back, but I find that he's already fully hard. I start stroking him through his sweats lightly, and his breath hitches.

Still watching the movie, I tighten my grip on him, making him groan and a smile forms on my face. I'm doing this to him and that thought makes me feel all giddy, knowing that I have this effect on him. Christian stops his hands rubbing on my thighs, and slowly guides his hands further up, and then he pushes his hand down the front of the sweats I'm wearing. ''Fuck,'' he groans when he feels how wet I am, and I stand up in order to straddle him.

Normally, it's Christian who's in control when we have sex, but I feel a sense of braveness that I haven't felt before. Not wasting a second, I push our mouths together, and kiss him hard and full of passion, and he immediately opens his mouth.

I lift up on my knees and sit back down right on his erection, getting it where I want it, and I start rubbing my body against his. Christian lifts the hem of my t-shirt up, and I let go of his hair and hold my arms up for him to take it off. Wanting his lips back against mine, I start to lead our mouths back together, but Christian has other plans, he leans his head down towards my breast and sucks one of my nipples into his mouth?

Suddenly Christian shifts and I'm under him and he's hovering over me, sucking the other nipple, while his hands push my sweats off. I help by wriggling to get them off, and then I help him push his down. ''Fuck,'' Christian mutters under his breath and he lifts his head and looks around, I frown at him, unsure of what he's doing. ''Condom... I don't have a condom on me,'' he says with a resentful sigh.

I haven't been on the pill long enough to be safe without a condom, ''the sweats,'' I pant and he looks back at me in confusion. ''I took yours from yesterday when we got home, so there should be two in there,'' I say and he looks relieved. He rolls off me and finds the foil package and tears it open. He rolls the condom on, and within seconds he's inside me, finding the perfect rhythm once he's fully in.

* * *

''Still with me?'' Christian asks shaking me lightly. Christian had turned us over, so that I was sprawled out on his chest, and we've been lying like that for a few minutes now.

''Mhm,'' I murmur contentedly, while watching the credits of the movie, that we've barely seen. I lift my head up to look at him, and he smiles up at me, making my stomach flutter again. ''You didn't watch the movie,'' I say and he shakes his head.

''I watched something better,'' he leans up and kisses the tip of my nose. ''Anything else you want to do? In bed perhaps?'' I study his expression and it doesn't look like he's joking at all.

''Again?'' I ask shocked, and this time he kisses my mouth.

''With you? Always.'' He whispers against my lips, and the fluttering feeling happens again except more forcefully. What is he doing to me?

''Do you have to work more today?'' I ask and we both sit up and reach for our clothes.

''There's always something that needs to be done,'' he says while pulling my t-shirt over my head, before taking on his own. ''But it can wait until tomorrow, I'm yours for the rest of the day.'' _I'm yours… I'm yours… I'm yours… _goes on repeat in my head. And then it all becomes clear, I want to be his. I want to be his and I want him to be mine. ''Ana?'' he asks.

''Ehm, yeah?'' I say and a frown appears on his face. ''I just remembered that Kate called me earlier when I was making breakfast, I uh- should call her back.''

''Are you okay?'' he asks, his voice full of concern.

''Mmhmm, I'll start dinner when I've called Kate,'' I grab the sweats, or Christian's sweats, from the floor and pull them on as I make an escape from the TV room. Oh no, oh no, oh no, this was what I was afraid of. This is _exactly_ what shouldn't have happened.

I walk into the kitchen and grab my phone, no missed calls, and no calls from Kate since she left for her vacation, but right now I need my best friend.

I dial her number, after a few rings I feel defeated. I guess I'm not talking to her right now. When I'm about to give up and hang up, I hear, ''Hi, Ana,'' but it's not Kate who's talking, it's Elliot. ''Kate's… ehm, preoccupied right now,'' he says, and there's something wrong with his voice, it's darker and huskier than I remember.

''Hi Elliot, where is Kate? Is she there?'' I ask, and he's breathing gets even heavier, as if he's been out running ''can I talk to her?'' I ask when he doesn't answer.

''Oh, uhm… like right now?'' he asks, and his voice is barely recognizable. ''You don't want to call back in fivehh…'' _was that a groan? _''let's make that 15 minutes?''

''Isn't she close, I rather not wait'' I say, and he groans.

''Let me get her for you'' he calls out for her, but it sounds like he's fake calling on her. I hear sheets rustling and then Kate's too sweet voice comes over the line.

''Hi Ana'' she says and then she whispers ''I'm sorry'' but I'm not sure if that one was directed at me, and why is she whispering?

''This better be good,'' I hear Elliot say, and I realize I'm on speaker. ''So close,'' he groans, and I hear what I assume is Kate smacking his shoulder, or at least it was a slap and a ''humphh'' from Elliot.

''So... why did you call?'' Kate asks, when she uses her sweet, sweet voice, it's never good. She either wants something or she's covering something up.

''You know, just wondering how you are, the both of you'' I add since Elliot is listening in, which doesn't make me want to discuss what I wanted to discuss. ''What's going on with you two?''

''Oh we're just fine, relaxing mostly, spending time with the family. My parents and Ethan are actually on some yacht now or something, so Elliot and I can finally... shhh'' she hiss, and I hear Elliot replaying with an innocent 'what?'

''Everything fine?'' I ask, concerned for Elliot's well being right now. Kate being extra sweet, and the smacks I've heard her give him. And then it dawns on me, what's been going on ''oh my god!'' I shrieks and for some weird reason I cover my eyes ''where you two just... doing... and then... Why did you answer?!'' I yell at Elliot.

''She told me to.''

''Kate!''

''You called, I haven't talked to you in a long time, maybe you just wanted to ask something, I don't know. Sorry for wanting to answer my best friend'' Kate asks sounding annoyed now. ''Anyway how are things back home?''

''They're fine, I'm fine, Christian is fine, we're all fine,'' I say and a smile is immediately on my face.

''That's good,'' Elliot says, and I hear Kate smack his arm. ''What?''

''Conversation with my friend here, duh!'' she says and I can't help but laugh.

''It was nice talking to you, I miss you... both of you. Call me whenever you have time. I'll let you get back to… _it,_'' and they quickly say good-bye and hang up on me. I sit down on one of the bar stools and drop my head in my hands and sigh.

''Baby, what's wrong?'' I hear Christian walking towards me, and soon I'm in his arms. His strong and comforting arms, the comforting arms of the man I've fallen deeply in love with. ''Why are you sad?'' he asks with a kiss to my head.

''Nothings wrong, I just,'' I say looking up at him, and he truly does look concerned. ''I don't know what's wrong with my best friend and you're brother, they're just… odd together.''

''Well Elliot has always been odd, no surprise there,'' he says lightly joking and I smile. ''What did they do?''

''Elliot answered when I called,'' I say looking shyly away, blushing, ''while they were sort of, having… ehm… private time.'' I watch as Christian's face goes from being concerned and curious to being angry.

''He did what exactly?'' His voice is so calm, but looking at him, you can tell he's _not_ happy. ''You know, I don't even have an excuse for him, I don't know what went wrong with him.'' He says with a disappointed shake of his head.

I don't like the way he's talking about his brother, they're brothers for god's sake! Aren't they supposed to be best friends and support each other? Elliot hasn't exactly talked bad about Christian, but neither of them talks warmly about the other either. I'll need to look more into that and see what made them dislike each other so much?

''Want to help me make dinner?'' I ask trying to get my mind and Christian's on something else. He walks to the other side of the kitchen bar and sits down in front of me. He's just looking at me, squinting his eyes and cocks his head to the side. ''What?'' I ask, getting all flustered.

''Do you remember what happened the last time I tried to do anything cooking related?'' He asks, jokingly sounding mad, but smiling at me. That smile really does things to me.

''I'll teach you,'' I say jumping out of the chair. ''Come,'' I say holding out my hand for him, and with a sigh, he takes it and I lead him over to the sink. ''Any requests?''

''Not burned,'' he answers, washing his hands. ''Anything you make will be good,'' he says and I walk over to the fridge and get out vegetables for stir fry.

''You can help clean and cut up the vegetables,'' I tell him carrying them over to where he's standing. He looks so helpless, and it's absolutely adorable. He starts cleaning them under the flowing water, as I find cutting boards.

I set the boards down beside each other, ''Rice or noodles?'' I ask and he just shrugs. I walk over to where I've seen a rice cooker and put it on. I start peeling the carrots while Christian is still cleaning the red peppers. I don't want to order him around; I think he knows more about cooking than he thinks he does, so I'm just letting this play out.

''What now?'' Christian asks turning the sink off, lifting the knife next to his board. I hand him a couple of garlic cloves and tell him to peel them and slice them. And he does exactly that, although he doesn't have the speed you would have if you were more confident in what you were doing, but he gets it done. ''Like this?'' he asks and I can see the proud smile on his face when I nod my head.

''That's really good,'' I say and he kisses the top of my head. I take the red peppers and cut them in two, ''Think you can do this?'' I ask showing him how to finely slice them.

''Of course,'' he says way more confidently now. He takes over for me and I stand back watching him as he slices the peppers and hums to himself. I walk over to the kitchen bar where I left my phone, and snap a few pictures of him, without him noticing. I decide to send one of the pictures to Grace, because I don't think she's would believe this without proof.

I quickly get a message back from her.

**I can't believe my own eyes. **

And then another one:

**Carrick neither :) **

''Christian,'' I sing-song and when he turns around to see what it is I snap another photo and quickly send it to Grace again. I lay down the phone and pretend like nothing happened.

''Baby?'' he asks, his face lit up with confusion. ''Did you just…?'' he asks starting to walk towards me; I step backwards each time he steps forward. When he's next to my phone he lifts it up and reads. ''My beautiful and wonderful boy'' he looks from my phone to my face. ''My mother?'' I try to not look guilty at all, but I'm totally failing at it. He steps towards me again, and I step backwards again. ''I'm gonna catch you baby,'' he says and I shake my head and turn around and start running.

I take a large turn and stop once the kitchen island is between us. He tries to walk around it, but I walk the other way, he lets out several frustrated sighs and he continues to try and get to me. I turn once again and make a run for it. I almost fall as I stumble on my own feet, and that was all Christian needed to catch me.

He holds me around my middle and lifts me up and twirls us around, I kick and do everything to make him let me go. ''Put me down!'' I whine, but he doesn't. ''Christian!''

''Oh no,'' he says and he sets me down and quickly turns me around, and hauls me over his shoulder, and then starts twirling us around again.

''Let me go,'' I say wanting to hit his back like a petulant child, but I know that's the no-go area on his body. ''Christian, please!'' I say in a childish whiny voice, making him chuckle. I start lightly kicking my feet, and Christian slaps me on my ass, I let out a shriek but it sounds more like a moan. Christian stills and after a few seconds he puts me down, he's breathing hard now, but I don't know whether it's from exhaustion or something else.

He holds me by my waist, and is looking intently into my eyes, I stand up on my tip toes and whisper seductively in his ear, ''I liked that,'' and he lets out a shaky breath. I stand back down and bite my lip, and he reaches his hand up and frees my lips from my teeth, by running his thumb over my lower lip. I take a step closer to him, so that we're completely touching, and I can feel the poke of his erection. ''It's okay,'' I whisper, when he seems to just stand there thinking.

''You liked that?'' he asks in a hoarse whisper, and I nod my head smilingly '' You would, ehm…'' he says seeming to be at a loss for words, ''let me do that again?'' he says, and it sounds almost shy, and I cup his face in my hands and nod my head.

''Yes sir,'' I say and his eyes widen, and his breathing gets even heavier if that was even possible.

He leans in and our lips are barely touching, ''Let's go to our room.'' I nod my head excitedly, but still I feel nervous. I don't think Christian would hurt me in any way, not physically and not on purpose, and I do trust him to know what he's doing. He takes my hand, and leads me back to _our _room.

Walking in to the room, he guides me over to the bed, and sits down, not knowing what to do I sit down next to him. He starts tugging on his fingers, and when I look up into his face, he looks lost in a thought. ''Christian?'' I ask, and it takes a few seconds for his eyes to meet mine. ''I want this… with you, I trust you.'' That seems to ease his mind, and he takes a hold of my hands.

''You have to tell me to stop if it's too much Ana, just say stop and I'll stop and make you feel good. I don't want to hurt you in any way, baby, so please tell me when you've had enough.'' I nod my head, but as always he wants me to tell him that I understand.

''I won't have to Christian, but yes I will if I've had enough,'' he leans in and kisses me, hard and long.

''Bend over my lap,'' he says in a husky voice, and nervously I do what he asked. I have been in this position before, but this is the first time willingly, and for the first time, I'm not scared. ''Good girl,'' he whispers when I'm positioned the way he want me. He tugs my sweats down over my ass, and starts to run his hand over it.

Without any notification there was a gentle slap against my ass, I moaned and he slapped it harder. ''Was that okay?'' he asks and I nod my head as he caresses the spot he had spanked, I start wiggling my ass, wanting more. ''My girl wants more, greedy girl,'' he says before placing an even harder slap. ''Mmm love watching my handprint form on your ass,'' he whispers huskily, and I take my hand and start palming him, making him groan. ''Ana'' he warns huskily but I don't stop. ''I need you,'' he says. ''You're in charge now.''

My eyes widen and my mouth drops, _me? In charge?_ I sit up in bed, unsure of what to do. Christian takes the first step by taking of his shirt, and look at me questioningly. ''Stand up,'' I say, my voice totally lacking confidence. ''I want your pants down,'' I say when he doesn't stand up, and this time he does with a little chuckle. The bastard is enjoying my discomfort. I stand up in front of him, and dig my fingers into the waistband of his sweats, while looking into Christian's eyes, his never leaving mine. Once they're off, I gently push him down on the bed, before taking of my clothes, this time his eyes scan all over my body.

I sit down on my knees on the bed, and Christian lies back down. I look at all of him laying there, in all his glory. I bite my lip, my stare ending at his erection, and I mouth the word ''wow'' without even knowing I was doing it.

''This is what you do to me, baby,'' he says, and when I look back up at his face, he looks amused, and is smirking. With a shaking hand, I grip his erection, making him groan. Leaning down I take the tip in my mouth and I want to smile triumphantly when he rolls his eyes shut and leans his head back, groaning. I suck hard, and his hips jerk beneath me. ''Fuck,'' he moans while I tease him with my mouth and tongue. He tenses as I run my mouth up and down, pushing him in the back of my throat. ''Stop,'' he groans, taking a hold of my hair. ''Baby I don't want to come yet.'' I sit up and blink my eyes in confusion, what happened to me being in charge? I wanted him to come in mouth. ''You look like someone just stole your ice cream,'' he says with a chuckle, ''I want to be inside you,'' he rolls over to the night stand and grabs a condom out, and hands it to me. ''I want you on top.''

Oh wow, me on top, how will that go with his no-go zones?

I open the condom, and roll it over his erection, and stare at it, unsure what to do. Christian takes a hold of my hands and help me guide myself over his erection, when I stop he nods at me, and slowly I sit down on him, making us both groan, my mouth hanging open as he fills and stretches me open. He shifts his hand to my hips, and I rest mine on his stomach, but I really want them on his chest.

''It's deep this way,'' he says, flexing his hips up, it feels so freaking amazing this way. I moan and he flexes and swivels his hips, making me throw my head back. He takes a hold of my hands again. ''You move, up and down, however you want,'' he breathes, his voice hoarse and low.

I take a hold of his hands and hold on for life. Gently I push off him and back down. His eyes burning with anticipation, and both our breathing ragged. He lifts his pelvis as I come down on him, bouncing me back up. We pick up a rhythm… up and down, up and down… over and over. I watch him, and he watch me, our eyes locked together, and his eyes are filled with wonder.

I'm panting hard, I am in charge, and I'm fucking him. I am his and he is mine. That thought pushes me over the edge, and I climax around him… shouting incoherently. He grabs my hips, closing his eyes he tips his head back, his jaw strained as he comes quietly. And I fall down on his chest, overwhelmed and content. He holds me tight to him, as we both lie there breathing hard. ''God,'' I whisper, and then, ''wow.'' Christian presses a kiss to my head, and squeezes me.

**Hope you liked it :)**

**X**


	35. Chapter 35

**Hi everyone, I'm so sorry. I never intended for it to go so long before i wrote or published something, but it did. And I love this story and I love writing, but this story are now PUT ON HOLD. Sorry to everyone, but I have other things I need to focus on right now, and I don't know how long the pause will be, but a while, so please be patient with me. **

**I don't mind your reviews or PM's asking how I am or how my writing is going, because that shows you care, so continue with that if you want :)**

**I'm not happy with this chapter, but I never are, so I hope you like it.**

**ANA**

Since going to the coping together ball, things have been a little hectic. I've been so happy that it feels like the time has flown away. I don't know what is happening with the days, they come and go just like that. Suddenly a new day starts and in the blink of an eye it ends. With a new day comes new strength, new thoughts, and in my case, and more worry. It worries me that the time goes so fast, because before I know it, 6 months will be up, and then what will happen?

I just want to freeze all the good moments I'm having with Christian. Lately, the majority of them have been good-_most of them_.

The atmosphere around us is nowhere near how it was a month ago. Now I've seen so many different sides of him, sides that I have - without any doubt - fallen in love with. I love the playful side of him especially. I absolutely adore his attempts to make me feel better when he thinks I'm not at my happiest. How could I _not_ fall in love with him?

Monday was a slow day at work because Jack was in meetings all day with the board and hadn't really given me much to do. So I just did small work to pass the time. At one point, I even cleaned dust out of his office, although there is a cleaning lady who does it every day. I also talked some with Claire, but I didn't want to disturb her too much. It was really good talking to her because we never run out of topics to discuss.

That very boring day, Christian surprised me with a lunch date. He said he had some business in the area, and wanted to ''take my beautiful girl out to eat,'' and of course that statement ended with his shy grin, which makes butterflies go amok inside me. It has to be completely obvious to him the strong affect he has on me, because boy, it's one strong affect.

We went to the café where I usually have eaten when I go out with my co-workers and sat in a quiet corner. Since we were pretty much alone and no one could really see anything from where we were sitting, Christian saw no need to keep his hands to himself. I'm sure if we were the only ones there, he would pay the waitress to not come out, so that he could fuck me on the table. Which he did right after, in the car rather than the café.

When I got back from my lunch break, Claire wouldn't stop talking about how hot Christian is, and I completely agree. But, Claire's gorgeous, and it bothered me the way she kept fluttering her eyes at him when I introduced them.

I also had my session with my psychiatrist, which was very good. She helped me sort out some of my thoughts and feelings, which was really helpful because there were a lot of emotions swirling around in my head. I've become accustomed to talking to her, and I actually 'enjoy' it more now, than I did when we started.

Tuesday was a hectic day at work, for everyone. Jack had me on a tight leash and he seemed really stressed and got pissed at everything I did. Then, when I got home that day, Christian was also really stressed and barely left his office all night. When I went to bed, without talking to him since dinner, he came into our bedroom and apologized the only way he knows how to...by giving me multiple mind-blowing orgasms. But when he was done pleasing me, and himself, he gave me a sweet long kiss, before he went back to his office, which didn't make me feel good at all.

I tried all I could not too think about it, but I ended up crying myself to sleep that night. I felt like - and still do feel like - I'm just a distraction in his life and that he's probably stressed about his job, and then having to pay attention to me all the time is probably causing more stress for him. I don't want to be selfish and make him choose,but I'm starting to feel left out. And I don't think he would choose me if given the choice between work and me.

* * *

''Ana, you have a visitor,'' I look up to see Claire standing in the doorway. I look at the clock and see that it's only half an hour before I can go home for the day. Is it Christian? If it was, he would've told me, but you ever know? I stand up and straighten my skirt, and then it hits me who it may be.

I walk out, faster than normal, and there he is just leaning against the wall, looking at something on his phone. When he hears the clicking of my heels approaching him, he looks up and his whole face lights up. ''Ana!'' he shouts as he starts walking towards me, and then lifts me up into his arms while he hugs me long and hard. ''It's so good to see you,'' he says and lets me back down.

''Jose,'' I say in shock, because I forgot that he asked if he could stay with me when he came to Seattle. He asked me a couple of weeks ago, and I jumped at the idea of him visiting. This was before Christian and I got along so well. But, since I forgot all about Jose's visit, I haven't told Christian yet. Fuck. ''You're here,'' I say and he nods excitedly.

''I know, I've never been to Seattle, so I'm excited to look around, and to see where you live of course. And how's Kate, is she back?'' I shake my head and he nods his. How could I forget that I said yes to my friend visiting? Am I really that out-of-touch with my friends? And I'm starting to get really anxious for what I fear Christian's response will be like.

''Ehm Jose,'' I say looking around him and see his bag, ''why don't you sit here, and let me finish up?'' he claps his hands together and nods his head. I turn around and head back towards Jack's office, but not before I see Claire fanning her face with her hand, I roll my eyes at her before I disappear.

* * *

''Wow'' and ''holy shit'' is what Jose keeps saying as we enter the apartment and I show him around. I remember when I was first saw all this, I remember my reaction being similar to Jose's reaction now. I've become accustomed to this though, so it's fun seeing his shocked expression.

Jose being who he is, stops to look at every art item there is in the apartment. ''Very gray,'' he mutters, and indeed it is very Grey. I've tried suggesting multiple times to Christian to maybe lighten it up a bit, but so far he hasn't agreed. I'm not giving up though.

I show Jose into the living room, and his eyes widen and a big smile appears on his face, as he walks directly over to the floor to ceiling windows. He slips his bag off his shoulder, the bag he refused to let Sawyer carry for him, and digs out his camera.

He snaps a few picture, while walking the length of the room. ''Ana, come here,'' he says never taking his eyes off of the window. ''Stand there,'' he says pointing right in front him as he takes a few steps back. When I don't move to stand in front of him he turns toward me, ''I want you in the shot.'' I slowly shakes my head. ''Come on Ana.''

With a sigh and a dirty look in his direction, I walk in front of the camera. ''One,'' I say holding up my finger and he doesn't nod or shake his head, he just starts snapping away, and indicates at me to smile. I give in and pose for a few of the pictures, and the more he takes, the more confident and silly I get with my poses. By the time he's done we're both laughing hard and slightly breathless.

''That wasn't so bad was it?'' he asks, I shake my head but he doesn't see since he's looking at his camera. ''Come and see,'' he says and I walk next to him and see as he shifts through the photos. ''That one looks really professional,'' he says, and I don't agree on the professional comment but it looks very nice.

I hear someone approaching us, and I turn around and see Gail standing there, with a confused smile and a frown on her face, although the strange look disappears when she meets my eyes. She straightens herself and smile at us, ''Mr. Grey is in a late meeting today, so he will be coming home later today. Do you have any wishes for dinner Mrs. Grey?'' I frown at her and I shake my head.

''We were thinking of ordering a pizza,'' I say ''Gail this is my friend from college Jose, Jose this is Gail, Christian's housekeeper, and we've become good friends,'' I say and I see a real smile spread across Gail's face.

''Do you want me to order the pizza, Ana?'' she asks and I nod and tell her what we want, and then she's off to go order the pizzas. I lead Jose over to the couch, and he takes out the computer from his bag and sets it on the table in front of us. He takes out some wires and stuff I don't know what exactly it is, but soon all the pictures pop up on his computer.

''That is a lot of pictures,'' I say referring to the ones of me. ''What are you going to do with them?'' I ask anxiously watching him look through all of them.

''Well most of them will be deleted, but there are a few really good ones in here,'' he says as he looks at 5 pictures before deleting 4 of them. ''Do you mind me doing this now?'' he asks as I sit and stare at how good he is at what he does. Do I mind? I don't necessarily like it, but better he does it when I'm here to approve or disapprove.

''Not at all, you want something to drink?'' I ask and he just shakes his head, never taking his eyes off the computer. ''So… how many do you think you'll keep?''

''Well I'll look through them and find my favorites, the ones where you and the lighting looks best, and then I'll go through them again. If a photo looks too much alike to another photo, then I chose the one that looks best… what do you think of this one?'' he asks, and I lean closes to get a good look at the screen.

I thought he was done taking pictures at that time, I have my head thrown back and my whole face is lit up by my laughter. Looking at the whole picture, with the Seattle sky background, it looks really great. ''That's really cool, Jose,'' I turn my head to find him looking at me, a smile on his face. Feeling uncomfortable I sit back and let him continue his 'work.'

I've never felt uncomfortable around Jose before, and I don't really know either, but something about being so close to him feels wrong. And I know Christian wouldn't approve if he saw it.

By the time the pizza arrives, he's almost done sorting through the pictures. The times we had pizza night at Kate and mines apartment, Kate and I would always buy one pizza where half of the topping was what Kate liked and half of it was for me, and Jose always got his own, and ate all of it.

* * *

We set both boxes of pizzas down on the kitchen isle, and open them up. My margarita looks pitiful next to Jose's, which is filled with pepperoni, mushroom, onion, pineapple and so many more things. I've never understood how he can like all that on one pizza. ''Haven't changed your eating habits at all. I thought Seattle would change you,'' he says while taking a bite of his slice.

I slap his shoulder, ''It's only been like a couple of weeks,'' I say and he chuckles. He holds up a slice for me to take, and I shake my head, he pushes it closer to me, and I shut my mouth dramatically and shake my head again.

''Baby?'' I hear the elevator close and Christian and Taylor's footsteps. ''I need my girl, where is she?'' he asks.

''In the kitchen,'' I blush and look over at Jose who is just focusing on his pizza, his face emotionless. I hear his footsteps getting closer, and I focus my attention back to the entrance.

''Work was shit, all I want now is you and I nak…'' he stops immediately when Jose and I get into focus. His gaze shifting from the both of us, a frown forming on his face, and all I can think about is that my beautiful man does not look very pleased right now. I bite my lip, and look shyly away from his heated stare.

''You remember Jose, right?'' I ask, not looking at either of them, I see Christian nod and I see Jose do the same back. No one is talking, we're all just sitting and standing here in complete silence. Christian being the polite man he is, walks over to Jose and shakes his hand.

''Good to see you again,'' he says, looking over at me, but I can't seem to meet his eyes. After a few seconds of quiet, I manage to look over at Christian, and he does not look very happy at the moment. But I haven't done anything wrong, so he needs to get over it.

Jose stands up, probably sensing something's wrong and excuses himself. I watch after him to see where he's going, he walks over to where he put down his bag and lifts it up before he enters one of the many guest rooms in the apartment. Christian grabs my chair and turns it around, so that I'm facing him and he folds his arms looking questioningly at me. ''You want pizza?'' I ask when neither one of us speaks.

''Cut out the crap, Anastasia,'' he says and I swallow hard when he says my whole name. ''Something you want to tell me?'' he asks looking over my shoulder at where Jose disappeared to.

''I forgot,'' I whisper, embarrassingly looking down at my lap. ''I completely forgot that he asked if he could stay here when he was in town, and then he suddenly appeared at my job today.''

''You should've told me when you said yes, hell you should've asked if it was okay, this is my home!'' he says and all I want to do is run and hide like a scared little child. I'm not used to having Christian's anger directed at me. ''Do you even remember anything from the bar? Do you remember him pushing himself on you?'' he asks and I nod, I do remember that but we were both drunk. ''What do you think would've happened if I didn't come to get you?'' I shrug. ''He could've raped you, do you understand that?''

''He would never, he's my friend Christian.''

''He didn't accept that you didn't want to kiss him, think he would accept a no after he had gotten you to bed?''

''He was drunk, he wasn't thinking clearly.''

''Do not make excuses for him, Anastasia, because then you have to say the same for every drunk rapist.'' I nod my head, understanding his point of it all. I don't know what would've happened if Christian wasn't there. Christian unfolds his arms and gets closer to me, ''you were a virgin baby,'' he says cupping my face, ''you deserve better than that, he would've taken your virginity the wrong way…'' he sighs and hangs his head, ''just like I did.''

''No, no don't say that,'' I say, but this time I'm cupping his face. ''I wanted you, I wanted you since the I first time I met you,'' he frowns at me, before a shy smile appears on his face. He leans down and place soft kiss on my lower lip.

''He's in love with you,'' he says, kissing each corner of my mouth. I'm not in love with Jose, I'm in love with the man standing in front of, making my stomach flutter as he kisses me. ''I need to know, that he knows you're mine,'' he give me a long hard kiss, but he stops when I open my mouth to invite him in. He stars kissing down towards my neck, I lean my head back to give him better access as he kisses my throat and licks it gently.

''Ah Christian,'' I moan and he did it again, before sucking harder at the same spot, scraping his teeth against my tender area. I gasp and cover the place his mouth was, and he steps back his breathing hard, his want for me clearly visible in his pants. I close my eyes trying to clear my head. I jump out of the stool and walk towards the hall, to look at myself in the mirror.

''Anastasia,'' I hear Christian saying, his footsteps behind me. ''Where are you going?'' he asks, more frantic now. I stop once I'm standing in front of the mirror and once again I gasp. I trace my neck with my fingers, before glaring at Christian.

''Did you just mark me?'' I ask, looking back at the mirror and yep, it's still there. ''You're unbelievable Christian, why would you do such a thing?'' He just stands there looking at me in shock. ''Talk!'' I'm absolutely furious right now.

''You're mine,'' he frowns. ''I want the photographer to know that.'' I turn toward him, and roll my eyes, and I see him swallowing.

''He knows I'm married to you, he doesn't want me,'' I say while stepping closer to him. ''Whose bed am I in every night?'' He steps back and I point a finger at him, and I soften a bit when I realize he was afraid that I'd touch his chest. ''The only bed I want to be in every night is yours,'' I whisper, but I don't think he heard it.

''What are you mad at me for? You've never minded any love bites before, what's different now?'' he asks.

''Your intention is different. You did it because you wanted to show Jose that I'm yours, the whole gorilla beating on his chest, cat peeing all over its territory thing, you do not treat me like that Christian!'' For every step I take forward, he takes one step back.

''You're being highly unreasonable now, Anastasia.'' He says, and the way he says that so dismissively just makes me angrier. ''I'll talk to you when you aren't so stubborn and childish,'' he says and turns away from me. He starts walking towards his office when he tenses and turns back around. He takes one look at me, and close his eyes and mutters ''Shit.'' He looks at me, his eyes suddenly apologetic. ''I'm sorry baby, I didn't mean that.''

I dry the tears starting to fall from my eyes and nod, ''Just go.'' He stands still, and I silently hope that he doesn't go. That instead, he'll come over and take me in his arms and show me that he's actually sorry. But he just nods his head and then he's gone.

* * *

After spending a good half hour in the bathroom, crying and getting myself put back together, I go back out to Jose. I'm a terrible host. First I forget that the guest is coming, and then I'm not spending time with him because I'm mad at the man I live with.

I walk out of my room, which is actually just Christian's room, but I've been sleeping in it, and make my way to the kitchen. I'll see if he's there before I go knock on the guest room door. I see him sitting at the kitchen bar, his computer in front of him, as usual, and a glass of water beside him. When I walk closer I see that his pizza is all gone, and I look from the container and to him and snort. At the sound of my snort I see a small hint of a smile on his face. He looks up, grins, and motions for me to look at what he's doing. I walk behind him to see what he's so enthralled with.

I gasp when I see what he's done to the picture. I'm not exactly sure what he has done or how he's done it, but the picture looks amazing, if I do say so myself. He clicks on the picture and it goes back to the normal one, and then he clicks back to the edited version, and it amazes me what he can do. The lightning has clearly been changed, and it's set a completely different mood to the picture.

''Everything okay?'' he asks when I sit down at the chair next to his. I just nod my head. ''You didn't tell him I was coming did you?'' he asks and I blush and look guilty as I nod. ''Ana,'' he sighs. ''If it wasn't a good time, you should've just told me.'' Well good thing he doesn't ask if I forgot about him completely.

''It's fine Jose, it really is. Christian just had a bad day, he's frustrated with work.'' He nods his head, but doesn't look very convinced. ''He works a lot, he's working now,'' I say pointing towards his office, although you can't see it from this angle.

Jose and I spent the rest of the day watching a movie, just relaxing and talking. It was actually really nice to see a movie without getting distracted by a horny Christian, but I don't really mind a horny Christian at all. After Jose went to bed, I stood outside Christian's office for a few minutes, debating whether or not I should knock on the door and talk to him, just barge right in and demand that he talk to me, or just go to bed.

I choose the latter. I'm still upset by what he said and a bit angry with him, so sleep was the easiest choice. It's also why I decided to sleep in a guest room, which is maybe a little childish of me, but he hurt my feelings and I don't really want to sleep next to him. I refuse to spend the night crying myself to sleep, so I just lie down and try to forget about everything. Impossible, but I try.

* * *

I wake up when there's a knock on my door. I look around the room and am a little disoriented because I can't see where I am. But when I look at Christian's side, I remember where I am and why I'm there. I reach over to the nightstand to look at my phone to check what time it is; it's 1 o'clock in the morning. I yawn, and there's another knock at the door, but before I can do anything, the room gets lighter as someone opens the door.

I make sure I'm all covered up, and close my eyes so I can pretend to be asleep. I hear footsteps as someone walks closer to me, and then suddenly I'm lifted up by strong and warm arms. I nuzzle into Christian's neck, still pretending to be asleep while smelling him. ''What are you doing?'' I mumble, yawning once more.

''I'm taking you back to our bed, where you belong,'' he says, holding me tighter to him. There it is again, _our bed_. Since when did Christian start to look at it as _our_ bed and not his? It's still is his bedroom, all _his_ stuff is there, all my stuff and clothes are in my room.

''You hurt me,'' I say, my voice sounding weaker than I want it to sound. I don't want fighting with Christian to affect me like this. I don't want to feel heartbroken when we fight. He tenses and sighs. I hang onto him as he opens the door with one hand and then he closes the door and sets me down on my feet. He steps back and sits down on the bed, looking like he's deep in thought.

I let the duvet that hangs loosely on me, fall to the ground. ''I'm sorry,'' he says looking down at his hands. ''I shouldn't have yelled or… I'm just sorry,'' he says looking up at me sincerely. His breathing hitches and his eyes widens as his stare starts to wander down my body, his want and need starting to appear in his pajama pants quickly.

''Ana?'' he whisper hoarsely.

''Yes?'' I say taking a step closer, hiding a smile as he starts to cover his crotch.

''I'm sorry baby,'' he says his voice still equally as hoarse. Nodding my head at him, I step closer until we're barely touching. ''Do you forgive me?'' he asks, looking up at me vulnerably. The look on his face is slowly breaking my heart.

I shuffle into his lap, his hands resting on my hips and my hands cupping his face. I look into his eyes and smile at him, he smiles back and I have to give him credit for staring at my eyes, even though I'm sitting naked, beside my panties, on his lap. '**'** Yes Christian, I forgive you. But what happened at the bar happened, we can't go around thinking 'what if' to everything, it happened and it's over… I forgive you,**''** I whisper leaning my head slowly down to his lip, his head leaning forward to meet my lips faster.

The kiss starts out slow, sweet and gentle, but as I feel the bulge in his pants growing, it becomes faster and needier. _I love you_, is on the tip of my tongue and I want to tell it to him so badly, because I'm almost 100 percent sure he feels the same way. Christian stands up, with me still in his lap, long enough so that he can drag his pajama pants down, he starts to reach for a condom when I stop him. He groans out a sigh, ''Need to be inside you now,'' he nearly growls at me. ''Let me get a condom.''

''It's Thursday,'' I whisper into his ear, ''we're set,'' I say and with that his mouth is back on mine, kissing me with a hunger he has never had before. His hands go down to my panties and without a warning, he rips the fabric off, and the determined look on his face says that this is no time for jokes.

He lifts my ass to position himself, and I take both my legs and hook them around him, so that they're resting on the bed. I feel the head of his erection dragging against my folds, back to front and back again, and I groan. ''You're already so wet, I don't even have to play with you to get you ready.'' And with that, he guides me down on his erection, ''I like that a lot,'' he grunts.

I had imagined that this would be fast and hard, but it's anything but. Christian is taking his time, entering me slowly, and circling his hips in a slow motion, while his lips are sucking at my neck. I let out a moan as he swirls his hips, and he looks into my eyes as he continues. I love the pure look of pleasure on his face. And that he's making love to me, is enough to push me over the cliff. I hang onto him tightly and whisper his name over and over again as I ride out my release. Within seconds Christian is doing the same.

* * *

**So not much was solved between CG and AS but I'll have them talk through it the next chapter, so don't worry about that. And that means there will be another chapter, just not right away, so I tried not to leave with a cliffhanger. **

**I hope you liked it, and once again I'm sorry. **


	36. Chapter 36

**Hi! to all New followeres who has started Reading my story while I've been away.**

**E****VERYONE PLEASE DO NOT HATE ME! PLEASE  
I am so sorry I never meant for it to go so long, I wanted to post the first because of the 1 year anniversary and all that, but I was so lucky that December 25th I got sick, I've had something called infectious mononucleosis, which we call the kissing disease. I still have it but I'm much better it's just that I've been so tired and I've had muscle ache and have barely been able to lift a finger, so I've been gone from life.  
Also there are a lot of mess in my life, I'm getting a taxi to and from school so that I can attend and not miss more classes, and I had a driver that was very inappropriate, he touched me (not in a sexual way) and told me that I needed to improve my body, that I had no muscles, and he was rude all the way from my school and home. And now the police is involved, and its one big mess! **

**But that's not important, you don't want a update in my life but the story so here you go 3 **

**ANA**

I'm slowly woken up by small kisses covering my face, my eyelids, nose, cheeks, and lightly on my lips. I can feel the scruff on Christian's face as his cheek rubs against mine. I let out a moan and wrap my arms around him, holding him close to me. ''Morning,'' I murmur, and he kisses my lips again. ''What time is it?'' I yawn as I slowly open my eyes to look up at him, my heart beating faster and harder at the sight of him.

''It's half past four,'' he answers looking me in the eyes, neither one of us looking away. ''I need to get into the office early, but how about after work you and I go out and eat dinner, and we'll talk about things?'' he asks, looking a little nervous, but still intently into my eyes.

I know what he's referring to in regards to what he wants to talk about or, I hope I know because we have a lot to talk about. We really need to find a way to avoid what happened yesterday, again. ''Like a date?'' I ask shyly smiling up at him.

''Yeah, we can call it a date,'' he says with a frown on his face. He takes my hand in his and kisses it. ''So Anastasia, will you do me the honor and go out on a date with me?'' he says teasingly.

''It would be my honor, kind sir,'' I say with a giggle, and he leans forward, kisses my nose and gets out of bed and walks towards the closet.

''But,'' I say a frown appearing on my face as I watch his naked back disappear as he enters the closet. He stops and looks back at me with raised eyebrows, ''I thought you woke me up for sex,'' I say and a pout follows the frown.

Christian disappears for a second before returning with pants on, making me pout even more. He walks toward me and leans over to kiss me when he reaches the bed he whispers, ''Are you pouting because you wanna fuck?'' and I nod blushingly. ''We can do that later, as many times you want. We can even skip dinner and go right for dessert.'' I shake my head, I really want to go out with him, and we need to talk so we can stop having this problem. So I am definitely not saying yes to that suggestion. ''No, I'll take you on the date, and we'll talk about what happened yesterday,'' he chuckles at my head shaking. Then he kisses me on the lips before walking back into his closet to finish getting dressed.

I lie back and quickly fall into sleep with a smile on my face, and don't notice Christian leave for work.

* * *

**CHRISTIAN**

''Boss?'' I look up to see Ros standing in my doorway. I motion for her to come inside and I look back down on my phone at the picture I took of Ana before I left this morning. I close my phone and look at Ros sitting in the chair in front of me. ''The deals ours,'' she says as she lays the file on my desk and smiles proudly.

''Good work Ros,'' I say lifting up the file and looking through it. I didn't ask for the deal to be finalized before the end of next week, so I know there must be a reason she got it done so quickly. ''So, how many days are we talking about?'' I ask laying the file back down and folding my arms.

She looks me right in the eye, never looking away from my stare. That's something I like and something that annoys me at the same time about Ros. I do not intimidate her in the slightest. ''Only the rest of the week, I've done all that needed to be done, and if you need me you can always reach me. It's been a while since Gwen and I both had some time off.''

Ros doesn't ask for things often, and when she does I grant it to her, because she's good at what she does, and a few days without her will be fine. ''Yes you may take the time off, was that everything?'' I ask and then something happens that I've never seen before, Ros looks away flustered and blushing. ''You okay?'' I ask a little bit shocked and she nods.

She gets up from the chair and walk to the door before looking back at me, her expression back to her usual business face. ''I'm proposing this weekend,'' she says with a smile before exiting my office.

Well that caught me off guard. I never expected that from her, but I'm happy for her. I hope they'll be as happy as I am with An… wait, am I happy with Anastasia, have I really been happier now then before? It's been different, I've been different I think and she does make me smile and laugh a lot. I frown as my head fills up with different memories of Ana and I, I take my phone out of my pocket and look at the picture I took of Ana before I left for work. The rational side of me said that I should just let her sleep and taking a picture of her weren't normal, but she looked so cute that I couldn't resist.

* * *

**ANA**

''Morning,'' I yawn as I enter the kitchen where Gail is cooking and Jose is eating. He looks up and smiles and Gail turns around.

''I made an omelet for you,'' she says and puts it down in front of me. ''I also made a salad for lunch if you want it with your breakfast instead,'' she says before leaving the room. I turn to Jose who is smiling at something on his phone.

''So… did you have an okay night?'' he asks chewing the last bite of his omelet. To say that this past day didn't go as planned is an understatement. Well it wasn't even like I had planned it either, because I had forgotten about it. However, I had imagined that the three of us Jose, Christian and I would get along well. But, that didn't exactly happen.

I look at Jose and I don't know what's up with the stare he's giving me, but I shrug it off. It's probably nothing. ''Ehm, yeah I had a good night's sleep, what about you?'' he looks down at the bag next to him, and then up at me again with a smile.

''It was super, I really like it here.'' He looks around the room, and then gets off his chair. ''You know what? I really should get going,'' he says as he picks his bag up, walks over to me, gives me a hug and then walks over to the elevator.

''Already?'' I ask following him out, ''what's the hurry?'' This is odd behavior for him. He's never before been in a hurry to get away from me, we usually hang out for hours. I need to get to work later today, but I thought we would at least hang out before that.

''Oh, just got places to be, I'm meeting with someone, I need to get going now. Thanks for having me though,'' he says giving me a second hug and then entering the elevator.

When the elevator starts going downwards I walk back into the kitchen, and now Gail is sitting there at the kitchen island with a cup of coffee. I smile at her and sit back down and start on my omelet. ''I don't like him,'' Gail says after a few minutes of silence. I look up at her shocked. ''The way he looks at you, it's not good.''

''How does he look at me?''

''The same way Mr. Grey does,'' she says her face expressionless. ''It's not my place to tell you what to do though,'' she says standing up and placing her cup by the sink. ''That's just my opinion. But something's not right about him.''

* * *

Gail's words got stuck in my head and it was all I could think about on the ride to work. What way does Jose look at me, no wait, what way does Christian look at me? He doesn't look at me in any way, at least not one that I've noticed. ''Morning Ana,'' I turn around when I hear Claire's voice.

''Good morning,'' I say and laugh when she yawns. ''Any messages for me?'' I ask her. Lately Mr. Hyde has been leaving notes for me with Claire, which is fine, but it just makes me wonder where he is all the time.

''Yep, I've got one for you,'' she says handing me the note. I look at it, and on this note he has given me more work than I'm used to, and there's also tasks on it that aren't really mine to do, it's his. ''Lunch today?'' I nod my head and give her a smile, and then walk into the office. I sit down and start the computer. I think about the absence of Jack, the fact that he's gone every morning and I don't see him at the end of the day. He says he's in board meetings, but I've seen board members together, and he's not there.

I've gotten the notes every morning, and Jack gets in an hour before lunch and a couple of hours after lunch. But when he is here, everything I'm doing is wrong, and then he either gets an e-mail or a phone call and he's gone again. It's just odd. I don't know him well so I don't know what kind of person he is, but this is a really odd way to work as an editor.

I don't mind the notes Hyde leaves for me, but right now I am feeling frustrated. It feels like I'm doing all his work while he's not even here, but he gets all the credit. I don't mind it because I love doing it, but I'm not supposed to be doing this work so I'm getting underpaid which bothers me because he's getting paid for what I do, he's getting money he doesn't deserve. I like to be busy, but it's getting tiresome now.

* * *

It's just been a shitty week and nothing has been going well at all for me. Stuff with Hyde, the whole deal with Christian and to top off the list is Jose's weird behavior. What is happening? I really need this date with Christian, because we need to talk about everything, lay it all out there.

''You ready, Ana?'' I look up at Claire before looking over my shoulder at an irritated looking Jack Hyde. Looking back at Claire I see how she suddenly she got really nervous. I nod my head at her and smile. ''I'll wait out in the lobby,'' she says and quickly leaves the office.

''Huh, you're going for lunch already?'' he says disapprovingly, I look at my watch and it's close to 1pm. ''The day just started,'' he huffs. Well for him maybe, but I've been here for 4 hours. I open my mouth to reply but he stops me with a ''Fine, go to lunch.'' I get up quickly and go before he changes his mind.

When I meet up with Claire she gives me an exasperated look, and I giggle. ''Let's go,'' I mouth to her, and she takes my arm as we walk to the deli. ''Claire how long have you worked at SIP?'' I ask Claire as I take my seat in the booth.

''A couple of years now, why?'' I wait for her to finish her order before continuing my questions. I have the salad Gail made for me in the office, and I decide to just eat that when Hyde leaves again, so I only order a cup of tea at the deli.

I tell Claire about the way Hyde has been acting, and weird things I've noticed about him. ''Has he been like this always?'' I ask her, and she looks deep in a thought. ''I don't think he was like this when I first started.''

''He… well,'' she starts still looking deep in a thought. ''I haven't spent much time with him, but I know there's been… I don't know how to phrase t correctly, since I don't know much about it, but in the years I've been a receptionist at SIP, he's had 4 assistant editors. The longest lasting for 9 months or so… I didn't form a friendship with them, like I have with you, they mostly kept to themselves, or hung out with Mr. Hyde… why they never stayed I don't know.'' It still looks like there's something on her mind, she looks troubled.

''Claire'' I say, and she take a deep breath.

''There was this one incident, it was late and there were only a few of us left in the building. He came out to me and wanted to chat, and I love chatting with people so I he asked questions and I answered. When I asked him questions though, he never really answered, just shrugged them off.'' The waiter comes with her food and my tea, we thank her and she continues. ''I had this weird feeling, but I ignored it. And then he became, well he got too close to me and started stroking my arm and moving my hair,'' her eyes become wet and I'm feeling worse and worse about this. ''I leaned away when he tried to kiss me, he didn't like that. He _really_ didn't like that,'' she wipes her eyes and gives me a weak smile.

''It's okay, you don't have to share anything you don't want to.'' I said when I saw she was having some difficulty talking.

''No I don't mind'' she said flipping her hair over her shoulder. ''Nothing happened really, the security guy came in and then he followed me to my car, and I left… I did consider quitting, but I need the job and there's been no contact with him since really. I do see him around, but he ignores me now, which has been very good,'' she said with a smile. I believe every word she said. I don't think she sees it as a big problem or is really scared of him, but I am kind of now that I know what he's capable of. It confirms a lot of the creepy vibes that I've noticed coming from him. ''Oh no!'' she gasps, and I look up at her wide-eyed. ''I didn't mean to scare you, he's not dangerous… you look terrified.''

* * *

''Hey baby,'' I smile at Christian as I climb into the car, and I leap over the middle seat and hug him tightly. ''Hey,'' he says with a chuckle, ''what's that for?'' he asks hugging me back. I just hug him for a while, enjoying the comfort of his hand stroking my back. ''You okay?'' he whispers, kissing me on the head.

''Yeah, everything's good now,'' I say muffled into his shirt with a huge smile on my face. I lift my head and look up at Christian's happy face, and my heart speeds up. It's so loud I'm sure he can hear it, or at least feel it. ''I missed you, that's all,'' He leans down and kisses me hard on the lips. It's then that I first notice that the car isn't moving. I sit back down in my seat and buckle up. Christian tells Taylor we're ready to go and he takes my hand and strokes my knuckles all the way to the restaurant.

When the car stops, Christian gets out and walks around the car, then he opens my door. I take his hand and get out. When he closes the door, Christian pushes me back against the car as he kisses me, and he really does kiss me to where I am left feeling dizzy. In only seconds, his tongue is entering my mouth, and getting in a tangle with my own. When we hear some catcalls, Christian stops the kiss and looks at me with a smirk on his beautiful face. He presses his erection into me and leans down to whisper in my ear, ''wanna skip dinner? I can take you. Right. In. This. Car. Right. Now.''

I swallowed hard, take a deep breath before finally managing to shake my head no. He chuckles, kisses me swiftly on the lips ''I might take you in the elevator then,'' he whispers, and then I notice the dizzyingly tall building. It's taller than Escala and Grey House. He clasps our hands together and says, ''Come, let's go inside.''

Before I know it, we're inside the elevator and Christian's lips are back on mine. His hands are roaming my body, gently squeezing my boobs, before his hands land up on my ass. ''I can't get enough of you,'' he says against my lips, and my heart does that fluttery thing again. The sound of the elevator arriving at the top floor came _way_ to early.

Reluctantly we both get out and enter into a beautiful restaurant. The hostess greets Christian, it's clear that he knows who Christian is, and then shows us to a table that is next to a window and overlooking Seattle. Christian orders for us, and I've begun to really trust in whatever he's ordering will taste delicious.

''How was your day?'' I ask him when we're alone again. He smiles at me and yet again, something happens to my heart.

''It's been good. Although I spent a large part of it missing you and regretting like fuck that we didn't have sex this morning.'' I blush, I can't remember much of it, I think I was really sleepy, but I remember wanting him, and possibly begging him to have sex this morning.

''Well because of you,'' I start, ''my panties have been wet all day.'' His eyes widen and I see his Adam's apple jump. I have no idea where that came, or how I even thought to tell him that, but it seemed to have the desired effect. He shifts in his chair, and by the slightly pained face he's making, I think I know what is going on. I let out a giggle, and he lets out and exasperated breath.

''Behave, or I might take you right on this table and soon. I won't care who might see us,'' his playful smirk disappears when he sees the frightened look on my face. He opens his mouth, but before he says something, I let out a full and _very_ unattractive belly laugh. His mouth closes again and he stares at me in shock, but I can't help it and I keep laughing. After a few seconds, Christian joins me and I stop laughing so that I can listen to the amazing sound coming from him.

After a few seconds he notices people staring at us, but I just keep looking at him in mesmerize. That is without doubt the most incredible sound I've heard coming from him. I've heard him chuckle at stuff I've done, but that sound? That was something else, and I'm going to play it on repeat inside my head whenever I'm feeling down. ''Why were we laughing? Actually I know why I was laughing. I laughed because of how cute your laugh is. But why did you?'' he asks with a frown and then a smile takes over his face.

''You're beautiful,'' is all I answer, and, if I'm not mistaken, he blushes a little. But he hides it well, better than I could. I smile at him, and he smiles back at me. And that's all we do, look at each other without uttering a word, just smiling. He reaches over to hold my hand, and we sit like that until the food arrives.

* * *

When the waiter takes our plates and hands us dessert menus, I feel like it's time for us to start talking. That was what this dinner was about, and so far, we haven't talked that much. ''I have next Thursday and Friday off,'' I say, not sure where, or even how, to start.

''You do? Why's that?'' he asks, sipping his wine.

''Mr. Hyde, my boss is going on a conference in New York,'' I tell him. I don't tell him that Hyde also wanted me to accompanying him. I know that Christian would've never let me go in the first place, but that's not why I said no. After the talk I had with Claire, I wasn't that interested in being alone with him, especially not in such a faraway place like New York, so I took a risk and said no. He didn't ask for an explanation as to why I said no, he just accepted it, which I was very happy about.

''Hmm, that sounds good. Maybe I could at least take Friday off? And we could maybe do something?'' he said with a shy smile, which made me grin.

''I would love that, but I understand if you can't take time off. You don't have to, I know how much work you have to do.''

''I want to spend time with you. I'll see what I can do.'' Well I definitely wasn't going to complain about that. ''So about yesterday,'' he says and looks down at my neck where I've done as good of a job as I can in covering the hickey he left on me. ''I'm sorry. I should've never gotten mad and started yelling at you. I should've started talking to you calmly instead of yelling. However, you should've told me, even if you forgot when you initially said yes, you should've told me when he was at your work. You should've at least sent a text or called… but the way he was looking at you, and the memories from that night at the bar, I just saw red and wanted him gone. I'm sorry baby.''

''I'm sorry too, I get that I should've said something, I know I should've. But you hurt me,'' I whisper, looking down at my drink.

''I hurt you?'' he whisper in shock.

''All week has been weird,'' I say, and his frown deepens. ''And then on Tuesday when I didn't see you at all, except for when I was about to go to bed and then you came and…fucked me, and then you left again.'' I look up at him sadly, and I can clearly see the regret shinning in his eyes. ''And then the hickey. Christian, that was completely unnecessary. Jose _knows_ I'm married to you, he _knows_ I'm not interested in anything more than beings friends with him.''

''I'm sorry Ana. I'm just so sorry. I wasn't thinking, I just… I didn't know what to do and I just don't know…but you're mine.''

Was I?

''For how long?''

''What?'' he asks as his eyes widen. ''What's that supposed to mean?''

''What's that supposed to mean? Christian, you know what I mean. The divorce,'' I say, and I can immediately see the wheels inside his head spinning.

''We have 4 months left Anastasia, why talk about that now? Isn't everything good right now? Why complicate shit?'' he asks, and I'm surprised by his harsh tone. I don't want to complicate anything, I just want to be honest about how I feel. But I can see now that it's not a good time.

''I just thought that was one of the things we were going to talk about. But you're right, I'm sorry. We can wait awhile to talk about that.'' I look away, a bit sad to be honest, I want us to work this out now. I need to know _now_ that the man I love won't just get rid of me when our time is ''over.''

''Hey look at me,'' he says softly and I look back up at his worried expression, ''we will talk about it Ana. Just not now… it's just that… well… uhm I don't know what to say about it yet, I need to think more about it, I need more time with you, I..''

''It's okay Christian,'' I say cutting him off, ''I get that, we still have lots of time.'' I say with a smile, a sincere one at that. Because if he needs more time to think, that means he's not tired of me, and I can try and get him to fall in love with me too.

''That's a huge grin you've got going on,'' he says with a smile, and I start blushing I wasn't even aware that I was smiling. ''I love your smile, your whole face just lights up,'' he says and good god what his sweet words can do to me. ''I'm going to do everything I can do to keep that smile on your face.''

We spend the rest of our date not discussing bad stuff, but just enjoying the company of each other. We've agreed to work harder on better communication. Christian is also going to work on his anger and his reactions, and I think in the end this will work out perfectly.

* * *

''My mom invited us over for family dinner next weekend,'' Christian says. We're just laying in bed and he's toying with my wedding ring. ''She wants to gather the whole family together, but Elliot won't be back by then, so I don't know if we need to bother with going."

''Of course we're going, we're not doing anything else…'' he rolls over so that he's on top of me and cuts me off with a kiss.

''Okay if you want to go then we'll go,'' he whispers before going back to kissing me. ''But now,'' he whispers hoarsely kissing a trail over to my neck as he starts to lift my t-shirt ''I need inside you beautiful, that's all I've wanted all day.'' I lie there enjoying everything he's doing to me. ''Can you be on top baby?'' he whispers and I hesitate for a second, I've done it before, but I'm not sure… ''It's okay, you're so good at it, come here.'' He says rolling us over so that I'm on top of him.

He shifts so that he's sitting up with me on top of him. Then he lifts his hips up and drags his boxers off and I start to get more and more nervous. I let out a shaky breath and he cups my face with his hands. ''Hey,'' he says with a soft kiss to my lips, ''don't be nervous, you never have to be nervous around me.'' He slides his hands down my sides until his hands are resting on my ass. He starts lifting me up and positioning me over his hard cock, ''like the last time'' he says as his head enters me. ''Put your hands on my shoulders, and take it at your own pace… if it's good for you-'' I groan as I take him deeper, ''-then it's good for me too,'' and I sit all the way back down on him. He lets out a loud groan. ''Yeah… ah'' he groans against my lips.

I grip his shoulders tighter as I start moving up and down, and his hands tightens on my ass. I keep the slow pace for a while, enjoying his raged breathing against my neck, and his moans of appreciation. ''Can I go faster now?'' I ask him, kissing him on his forehead so that he'll get his lips back on mine.

''God yes,'' he says.

''Will you help me?'' I ask him shyly, and he grins.

''Of course baby,'' he starts lifting me up and down and I clench around him and he stops. ''No baby don't do that,'' he says in a tight voice, and I do it again. ''I'm gonna blow too soon if you do it. You've gotta stop,'' I don't listen to him and clench a third time and a fourth time.

''I want to make you come,'' I whisper. ''I know you'll make it up to me,'' I clench him and I see him biting his teeth together. ''It's okay, don't hold back.'' I clench a last time and he lets out an animalistic groan as he rests his head on my shoulder. When his breathing calms down he rolls us over again and starts trailing kisses down my stomach.

''That was something else,'' he says his eyes full of excitement. ''Now I'm gonna taste my girl.''

* * *

**It's not a very good Chapter, it's messy I feel but I hope you liked it and ill continue to be patient With me, **

**I love all of you X**


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